What didn't happen
by KimberleyIonaSmith
Summary: Set just after the return from Volterra. The Cullens were a bit more organised with creating a back-story and they were a lot more annoyed with Edward. Themes include parental and quasi-parental discipline, and a lot of messing about.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

Obviously I neither wrote the 'Twilight' series, nor own any of the rights to the work or the characters. But, the principle of Fanfiction is to write our own stories based on the intellectual property of others. I hope that anyone who doesn't enjoy this stops reading it right away.

I was clinging to Edward, refusing to let go of him. I could hear Charlie behind us, ordering Edward to leave his house and never return. Then I heard Carlisle's voice, he said something about sedatives. There was a sudden sharp pain in my right arm and then there was only black.

. . .

When I woke up, Alice was sat in my bedroom, watching me closely.

"Do you remember what happened, Bella?" she asked me carefully, "Charlie is here with me and he wants to know how much you remember."

I tried to focus my bleary eyes on Alice's face, wondering what on earth she was thinking. If Charlie was right here, why was she asking me what I remembered? Now was not a good time for me to start talking about Italy and Vampires and cliff-diving. Shouldn't she save the reminiscing for a more private moment?

Confused, I just shook my head, "I don't know," I said, "I don't understand what you're asking."

"That's ok," Alice smiled with real pleasure, "your Dad is right here and you're safe at home. You don't need to worry about anything. Carlisle's explained it all to your Dad. Carlisle said that you might forget a few details: he had to sedate you last night. But it will probably all come back to you in time."

"Oh," that made some sort of sense. Carlisle must have given Charlie some kind of cover story and Alice wanted to make sure that I didn't blow the whole thing by waking up and saying something stupid. In anyone else that would have been impressive forethought. But for Alice, forethought was the same thing as hindsight.

"How are you feeling, Bells?" that was Charlie's voice. "Are you thirsty?"

I nodded vaguely, still looking at Alice. I was afraid to speak a word until I knew what was supposed to have happened over the past few days.

Alice smiled broadly again, "that's right," she assured me, "Carlisle said that you would be very thirsty when you woke up. You'll want a glass of water. Then you'll want a nice hot shower."

I heard Charlie leave the room and listened to his footsteps go down the stairs before I dared to whisper to Alice, "I remember everything just fine. When are you going to tell me what Carlisle told Charlie? And where's Edward?"

"When you're up and dressed and have had something to eat, you're going to come with me and visit. Carlisle wants to check you over. We'll tell you more about what happened soon, but it's not a good idea to pour too many memories on you all at once. You might go into shock." Alice was talking at a normal pitch, so I guess that she was talking about 'memories' rather than 'cover stories' for Charlie's benefit. He must still be within earshot.

I couldn't risk saying anything that might give away what I really knew. If I had to try and tell a story to Charlie he would know that I was lying right away. This whole lost-memory thing was a pretty good ploy of Alice's. It was probably the only way that I could be prevented from messing everything up.

A few questions would be safe, though. I was supposed to be confused and uncertain. Charlie couldn't get suspicious if I asked questions.

"Where's Edward?" I asked again, "and why are you back in Forks? Is the whole family back now? Are you staying?"

Charlie brought my water up and gave it to me silently. He was watching Alice intently as she replied.

"We're all back in Forks," she said, "Esme didn't like LA. We're back here for good. Everyone in the family is well and they're all at home. You can see them all when you come round."

"Are you sure that she ought to be getting up today?" Charlie asked over my head. I must have looked pretty ill if he was talking over me like that. Unless he was talking over me because he wasn't talking _to_ me. I wondered if this cover story was the sort of story that would make Charlie mad at me.

"Are you mad at me, Dad?"

He looked surprised.

"She doesn't remember what happened," Alice reminded him.

Charlie nodded, "I'm not mad at you, Bells. It's all ok. You haven't done anything wrong. It's just that something" I noticed that he paused and swallowed, as if it was hard for him to select the next word, "happened. Dr Carlisle thinks that you might find it a bit of a shock when you remember. So we're going to take it slow. But everything is ok now. That's the important thing. You're safe now. Make sure that you remember that."

"And you didn't do anything wrong," Alice added.

They both smiled and nodded at me. I was beginning to feel like a bit of an idiot. The two of them staring at me cheerfully and assuring me that everything was fine was a bit freaky. I wondered how weird the cover story that Carlisle had constructed really was. How could he have explained a sudden disappearance without a single phone call? How could he possibly have come up with a story that prevented Charlie being mad at me?

"I would like that shower now," I said, hoping that this would get rid of them. Charlie left the room straight away, but Alice stayed sitting by the bed.

"I'll get your clothes ready for you," she said with a big grin.

As I stood in the shower I wondered what on earth Alice was going to offer for me to wear. She was never this happy to chose something out of my wardrobe, she thought that my selection of clothes was pitiful. The grin that she had been wearing when I left the room was definitely her new-clothes-for-Bella grin. I had no idea when she had found time to buy me new clothes between rescuing Edward from the Volturi and spinning a web of lies for Charlie. I would just have to add it to my list of unanswered questions.

It was quite a long list. Firstly, where was Edward? Secondly, why wouldn't Alice tell me where he was? I'd asked her twice and both times she'd ignored me. Thirdly, what had Carlisle told Charlie? Fourthly, how long had I been asleep and what had everyone else been doing while I slept? Fifthly, why were they all back in Forks? Sixthly, where was Edward?

That didn't make sense. Where was Edward couldn't be question one and question six. But, even as I tried to make a list of all the strange things, so that I could ask Alice all my questions, my mind kept coming round and round to that same question. Alice was here, so where was Edward? Was he safe? Did he hate me? Was he going to be my friend now? Would he ever talk to me again?

Aside from the guilt-induced hugging on the plane and in the car, the last contact that I'd had with Edward was when he'd told me that he didn't want me anymore. I didn't know what it would be like to know Edward now. He was my first ever boyfriend, I'd never had to deal with an ex-boyfriend before. And Edward felt like so much more than just a standard ex-boyfriend. Would he even want to be friends with me now? Maybe he would be afraid that he couldn't be friends with me. He might think that I would spend all my time trying to seduce him again. Embarassingly, that is probably exactly what I would do. That would be pretty awful. I don't even know how to begin seducing Edward. But I couldn't just stop trying. I loved him.

A quick tap on the door startled me, "are you alright, Bella?" Alice called out loudly, presumably for Charlie's benefit. Then she muttered, for my ears only "stop trying to guess things. I will explain everything in the car."

That was what I wanted to hear. I turned off the water and got out of the shower. I dried myself off in record time and dressed in the brand new outfit – complete with new underwear, new shoes and even a new bag – without a word of complaint. I couldn't win an argument with Alice, and I didn't want to delay the answers any longer.

"I'm taking Bella to my house so that Carlisle can check her over," Alice said to Charlie. He nodded in reply, so I can only guess that she had already arranged this with him.

"Will, um, everyone be there?" Charlie asked her, obviously trying to check something, without letting me know what. He must mean Edward. I was just as eager to hear the answer to that question as he was.

"Yeah," Alice said vaguely, then she gave my a funny look. I know that I was grinning widely, but that shouldn't surprise her. She must know how much I loved Edward, even if he didn't love me back.

"Take care, Bells," Charlie said and I nodded at him over Alice's shoulder as she herded me towards the car.

Alice had brought the Mercedes. She settled into the driver's seat and adjusted it with a chuckle, "Jazz tries to pull the seat up for me," she explained, "but he can never remember exactly how long my legs are. Today he seems to be under the impression that I'm a midget. Alright, Bella" we were already out of my street and well away from Charlie, "I know that you have a lot of questions. But you haven't decided which one you want to hear the answer to first, so you'll have to ask me."

"Where's Edward?"

Alice laughed, "he's at the house," she said. I failed to see what was funny about that.

"Is he alright? Is he hurt?" She probably wouldn't be laughing if he was hurt, but there was something strange going on, and I needed to know what it was.

"He's . . ." Alice hesitated, "he's safe," she concluded finally, "but, he's not behaving himself, so he may be in a little bit of discomfort by the time we get there." She winced slightly, "yes, I'm guessing that would have hurt a bit."

"Someone's hurting Edward?" I couldn't understand it. We were back in Forks, where everyone was supposed to be safe. For the first time ever, I wished that a Cullen would drive faster. We had to get to him. We had to help him.

"Not just someone," Alice replied cheerfully, "Jazz." She spoke with so much fondness and pride that I was sure that I'd misheard her. I must still be woozy from the drugged sleep.

"Alice, did you just say – perfectly happily – that Jasper was hurting Edward? What's going on?"

"Oh, I forgot that you might misunderstand me. Sorry, Bella. Edward isn't going to be seriously hurt. Jasper's only doing what is absolutely necessary in order to restrain him. He'll be fine. They'll both be fine. But, we're going to be at the house in less than two minutes. Is this really all that you want to ask me? Trust me, it's a very minor thing and we're wasting time discussing it!" Before I opened my mouth, she sighed and said, "you're not going to want to talk about anything else now. To think that when we first got in the car you were planning on asking me that sensible question about our cover story. Now you won't listen, even if I do tell you what the cover story is, and I'll still have to tell you about it again. I don't like repeating myself, so I'll just save it and tell you later. For now I'll try and tell you what you want to know. Edward is refusing to stay put. He's trying to get out of the house and Emmett and Jasper have got their hands full restraining him. He ought to be able to hold on and be patient, we're going to be there soon. But, he's been struggling all night. He probably thinks that he can wear Jasper down. He doesn't seem to realise that the only thing that he's wearing down is Jasper's patience. He's going to regret annoying Jasper when we get there." She paused to give me an appraising look, "can you try not to over-react? No, it won't help if I warn you before we get there. But it will help if I tell you that Edward will be more upset if you react badly. If you can smile when you see him, he will calm down."

I stared at her. Why was she asking me to smile at Edward? Did he feel that guilty for dumping me? "I can't pretend that I don't care about him" I said.

"That's not what I meant. What I mean is that you shouldn't be cross with Jasper and you shouldn't feel sorry for Edward. If we arrive and you look cross or pitying, Edward will be more upset. If you can smile as though you thought that it was slightly funny and not a big deal, then he will recover more quickly. Jazz hasn't injured him so much as damaged his pride. Silly, really, I don't know why he thought that he could take Jasper. Arrogant prat." She said the insult in a fond voice, so I don't think that she was really cross.

None the less I asked, "has he hurt Jasper at all?"

Alice roared with laughter at this point. We were turning into the Cullens' drive now, so she repeated my question for the rest of the family to hear. "Bella wants to know if Edward's managed to get in any decent hits on Jazz." Even I could hear the answering laughter from the house.

"That's perfect," Alice said approvingly, "just the right light-hearted tone. I knew that you'ld be able to handle him."

I hadn't intended to make a joke. I didn't know that the idea of Edward hurting Jasper was funny. Mind you, I didn't know that the idea of Jasper hurting Edward was funny and Alice had seemed pretty amused by that too. I tried to remember to smile as I walked into the house, even though I was afraid of what I was going to find. For Edward's sake, because Alice was sure that it would help him, I would try to smile.

"Bella!" Emmett was the first to greet me. He came barrelling into the hall to give me a huge hug. "We've been waiting hours for you. What time do humans normally wake up? Alice said that you'ld come over as soon as you woke up."

I couldn't reply. I was so surprised by his appearance. I had never seen any of the Cullens looking anything other than perfectly composed and neat. Even when they'd been hunting, they all looked like cat-walk models. But today Emmett looked like he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. His hair was a mess, his shirt was missing most of its buttons, there was a smear of what looked like soot down his left arm and across his chest, there were five parallel rips down his left trouser leg, and he was missing his left shoe.

The only thing more shocking than Emmett's uncharacteristic appearance was Alice's reaction. She usually threw a fit if anyone (well, me usually) got a splash of mud on their outfits. But here was Emmett wearing an outfit that would be untidy for a scarecrow, and Alice didn't say a word. She didn't even seem to notice the wear and tear on his clothes.

"I said that she'd be here at 12 minutes past 10," Alice corrected sternly, "I told you that she would need a lie in. Jasper should have, um, done what he did sooner."

Emmett laughed and he led the way into the dining room, racing to get to the other side of the room before I got through the door, so that he had a good view of my face when I first saw the scene that awaited me.

Emmett was stood against the opposite wall. Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie were all sat around the big dining table. Jasper was stood up, behind Edward. Jasper was in an even worse state than Emmett. He was bearly wearing a shirt at all, it was more like a collection of rags draped over his shoulders. Despite his clothes, Jasper looked every inch a victorious soldier. He was stood proudly to attention. I knew from the comments that Alice had made in the car that Jasper had been fighting Edward all night long. I knew from Jasper's stance that he had won.

And Edward . . . Edward was sat at the foot of the dining table, on the chair directly in front of the door. But Edward was tied to his chair by his wrists, his arms, his ankles, his feet, every inch of him was wrapped round in steel ropes. He was staring at the table in front of him. He was the only person in the room who wasn't staring at me.

"Oh," I said, "this is what Alice wouldn't tell me in the car." I looked at Jasper, who had an unusually severe expression on his face. "You tied him up?" I asked.

Jasper nodded once. "You're not frightened," he said, as if he had expected to feel fear from me.

"No," I remembered what Alice had said in the car, for Edward's sake I had to smile. So I smiled. I don't think that I fooled anyone into believing that it was a real smile. I certainly didn't fool Jasper. He looked even more confused now.

But Emmett laughed delightedly and Rosalie smiled and even Carlisle and Esme seemed relieved.

"Nothing phases her," Rosalie muttered. She didn't look angry. That was good.

"Bella's amazing" Alice lied cheerfully, dancing over to Jasper and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "You can take your seat now," she told him, "Edward will be good now that Bella's here to keep an eye on him."

Jasper smiled at Alice and pulled out a chair for her before sitting down himself.

"Allow me," Emmett appeared to help me into the chair to Edward's left.

Edward was still staring at the table.

"Now that we're all here," Carlisle began, and everyone turned to look at him, apart from Edward, "I would like to thank Bella for joining us. This is her first Cullen Family Meeting. Welcome Bella."

There was a quick chorus of 'welcome Bella's from the rest of the Cullens. They all sounded very cheerful.

"It's the first of many, and it's right on time," Alice chirped, earning a hiss from Edward. He was obviously still angry about my presence.

"If you would rather, I can go and sit somewhere else, away from you."

"If I would rather," finally he looked at me; he looked utterly miserable. I didn't know that vampires could get tired, but Edward looked completely worn out. His eyes were a dull yellow, not the beautiful amber colour that I was used to seeing. He couldn't be hungry, there wasn't a hint of black, but the spark and the life was gone from his eyes. He was slumped in his chair, held up more by the binding than by his own effort, and he managed to look up at me, though I wasn't seated any higher than he was. "You can't even tell me to go away and leave you alone. Jasper, won't you please untie me? I promise you that I'm not going to try and leave anymore. I will not disobey you or Carlisle again. I just don't want to force Bella to be in such close proximity to me."

Jasper looked at Alice, who shook her head. So he shrugged back at Edward.

Edward sighed, and turned his gaze back to the table, "can't you stand to be near me?" he spoke so quietly, I wondered if he expected me to hear him.

"I thought that you didn't want me here."

"I don't want you here."

"Edward, that's not polite," Esme reprimanded him softly.

He just sighed again and hung his head, drooping down over the table like a puppet whose strings had just been cut.

There was a short pause, as if the family were waiting to hear if Edward and I were going to talk to each other anymore. But Edward didn't seem to want to talk to me, and I didn't want to force him, so we relapsed into silence.

"So, Bella," Carlisle began again, "has Alice filled you in on our cover story?"

I shook my head.

"She wasn't going to listen," Alice said.

"We had to say something to Charlie to explain your absence, your inability to talk to him whilst you were in Italy and the state that you were in when you returned" Carlisle explained. "I wanted to remain as close to the truth as possible. So I told him that, whilst we'd been in LA, Edward had fallen in with a bad crowd, and had got mixed up in a bit of trouble. He didn't realise that his new friends were involved in anything really illegal; Edward manages to look quite naïve, so I think that Charlie believes that."

"Poor innocent Edward," Rosalie muttered. She must have intended the comment for me to hear, because all of the Cullens could talk without my hearing them perfectly easily. I looked up to see her grin. Esme gave her a look, but Edward didn't react at all. He seemed to have given up on trying to be a part of this conversation.

"Edward came up to Seattle with some of his friends. After spending a few days with them, even Edward could tell that they were involved in drugs. He gave the police an anonymous tip and so made himself a large crowd of enemies. Some of Edward's ex-friends followed Alice down here to Forks, where she met up with you, Bella. They sent Alice a text message from Edward's phone, claiming that he was in serious trouble and he needed her and you to bring him some money in Seattle right away. Slightly foolishly," he smiled, "sorry, Bella, but I did have to make you do something a little bit impetuous, you set off straight away to help out Edward. His ex-friends thought that it would be a fine joke to pretend to 'kidnap' the two of you. Luckily, when I called Charlie to ask if he'd heard anything from either of you, he read me your note and I guessed that you must have gone to Seattle to find Edward. We contacted the local police, who tracked you down and brought you home. There had been a lot of threatening behaviour towards you and Alice and Edward, but it hadn't reached the stage of actual violence before the police arrived. You were, understandably, rather shaken by the whole incident and I had to give you a mild sedative last night to help you sleep. The sedative had the possible side effect of temporary amnesia, hence your confusion this morning."

"We're sorry that the story doesn't really do you justice, Bella." Esme spoke now, leaning forward and smiling at me. "You were very brave and gracious in going to Italy and bringing Edward back to us. But, we needed a story that was believable and easy to fake."

I was surprised, "_that_ was easy to fake?"

Rosalie laughed, "we had to do something while we were waiting for you three to get back from Italy," she said. "I played you."

"I'm flattered," I said, perfectly honestly. I was gratified to see that Rosalie grinned.

"I'll remind you of all the details of our ordeal on the way back to your house," Alice promised, "I've tried to make everything sound as similar as possible to what really happened, so that you won't forget and Charlie will believe you."

"I'm impressed."

"Don't be," said Jasper, "you should get used to this sort of thing. The Cullens always cover their tracks. Soon you'll find it second nature, just like everyone else."

I hoped that I wouldn't disappoint Jasper. It was nice to hear that he had so much faith in me, it gave me a warm glow inside.

"Does it all make sense so far, Bella?" Carlisle asked me. When I nodded, he carried on, "in that case, let's get to business. We are all agreed that the best thing for the family is that we move back to Forks?"

"The best thing for the family is that we're all together," said Esme. Carlisle nodded.

"Being away wasn't working" Rosalie said.

"We missed our Bella," Emmett agreed.

"We should never have left" said Alice.

"Very good," Carlisle continued. I was sorry that Edward hadn't spoken. I'd wanted to hear what he had to say. Even if Edward said that he wished his family had stayed away, I wanted to hear it. "I'll be returning to the hospital in Forks. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper are supposed to be old enough to go away to college now."

"Emmett and I will go to Seattle," said Rosalie, "we don't want to live away from the rest of you at the moment."

"Jasper isn't going away," said Alice, "he's going to take a year out before he starts college."

"Then he'll have to get a job," Carlisle announced, "we can't risk you attracting gossip, Jasper."

Jasper nodded sternly, "I was thinking that I'd try my hand at journalism," he said.

Alice smiled up at him, "I love your writing, Jazz, won't you start your own paper?"

"How would that prevent gossip? I'll get a column on the local paper. That would be a suitable opportunity for a high-school graduate."

"You'll write the best stuff they've ever seen," Alice protested.

"I'll be careful. I'll make the odd spelling mistake and miss some searching questions in my interviews. I think that I can reign myself in."

"Of course you'll be fine, Jasper," Esme said, "I'm so glad that you're all going to stay at home. It will be so nice to have you all together."

"Alice will go back to Forks High School with Bella."

"It's our final year, Bella, we'll graduate together!" Alice was more excited than I was. That was nonsensical. I ought to be the excited one, I was the one who was graduating for the first time. For Alice and Edward, this would just be the latest of many graduations. Alice and Edward. Suddenly I realised what was wrong with Carlisle's last statement. He said that Alice was going back to school. He didn't mention Edward.

"That brings us to the real business of this meeting," Carlisle said "what are we going to do with Edward?"

Everyone's eyes turned to look at his bowed figure, still tied to his chair at the end of the table. He hadn't moved a muscle since he'd told me that he wished I wasn't there. He hadn't looked up, he hadn't spoken. He hadn't sighed or muttered. Even now, with all the attention on him, he didn't react.

"Taking the family away from Forks was a bad decision, but we all agreed with it." Carlisle continued, "going to Italy was a very bad decision and belonged entirely to Edward. We must not have a repeat of that incident."

"He endangered Alice and Bella," said Jasper, "and potentially the entire family. I won't tolerate that kind of risk taking."

"Last night Carlisle told him that he couldn't go and see Bella, and it still took the combined efforts of Emmett and Jasper to restrain him." Rosalie sighed, "we have to consider the possibility that Edward will lose control in public. What if Bella doesn't want a relationship with him anymore? He can't use emotional blackmail to make Bella date him."

That didn't make any sense. Why would Edward try and blackmail me into dating him? He must know that would be unnecessary Everyone in this room must know that I would do anything for the chance to date Edward again. Maybe Rosalie made a mistake. Maybe she meant to say that Edward would lose control if I kept throwing myself at him. Maybe I had misheard her. My ears had betrayed me before: giving me samples of Edward's voice when he was nowhere near me. I had created auditory illusions that made me almost believe that he could still care about me when he was away. No wonder I was creating pleasant illusions now that he was next to me. I decided to try and conceal my confusion and hope. I didn't want to have to admit to my pathetic weakness, especially not in front of Edward.

"Edward," Carlisle said, as gently as if he was speaking to a child, "will you talk to us? Why couldn't you restrain yourself last night?"

Edward didn't look up, he stayed hunched over, but he did speak in a cracked voice, as if he was thirsty, "I don't know" he said, "I'm sorry. My apologies, Bella, I was just so desperate to see you. I'm sorry, Jasper, Emmett."

"Do you think that you are in control of yourself now?" Carlisle asked, "can you stay here voluntarily and join in the discussion?"

Edward continued to speak in that dry and broken voice, without moving. "What's the point? I've ruined everything. I don't care what happens anymore."

"What did you expect, Carlisle? He was like this all night." Rosalie snorted in derision.

"The least conspicuous thing would be for Edward to go back to school," Esme said.

"He can't be trusted in a place where he can be so easily seen," said Rosalie, sounding angry now, "he can't be trusted around Bella."

"I'll be at school," Alice protested, "I'll be able to see if he plans on doing anything stupid."

"You can't handle him alone, darlin'" Jasper was smooth as silk, but absolutely firm. It was strange to see him like that. I had always thought that he did whatever Alice wanted. I'd never known that Jasper had a strong will of his own. Alice, however, seemed quite accustomed to Jasper's firmness. She looked a little disappointed, but she nodded without any surprise.

"Do we pull him out of school, then? Edward, surely you have an opinion." Carlisle looked hopefully at his first and youngest son. But Edward made no reply at all. "Bella?" Carlisle asked, "what do you think?"

"I don't understand. Why do you all suddenly think that Edward is untrustworthy? He hasn't done anything wrong."

That wasn't what they expected me to say. I was hugely embarrassed to see the entire Cullen family staring at me in disbelief. But, though I would usually be squirming under all those intense gazes and unable to think straight, they didn't matter at all any more when I realised that Edward was staring at me. I'd made him look up.

"You don't see what I've done wrong, Bella?" his face was still drawn and unhappy, his eyes were dull and empty, but there was a shadow of his old crooked smile on his lips. "Even now, you think that my family should trust me. Why? Why would you think such a foolish, wonderful, gentle thing?"

"You're so good, Edward. You were going to kill yourself out of guilt. You were going to kill yourself because you felt guilty about me. I don't think that should be treated as some sort of a crime. I don't want you to be sad anymore."

"Ah, my lovely Bella. Well, not _my _lovely Bella, not anymore. But, still lovely."

"Edward, you're not allowed to hurt her anymore," Rosalie interrupted As soon as Rosalie spoke, Edward seemed to remember himself. Even that shadow of a smile vanished, and he dropped his head again. This time though, he didn't turn himself to stare at the table in front of him. He hung his head in front of me, as if he was expecting me to scold him.

My Edward, my lovely Edward, who had always been so confident, hung his head and gave up speaking. The god-like man that I had known was gone. He was just the little boy now. He was defeated and unable even to speak for himself. He who had defended me from certain death, couldn't even defend himself from Rosalie's attack.

I couldn't understand how the venom that she used to aim at me was now all aimed at her brother. She sounded as though she thought that I needed to be protected from him. It didn't make any sense at all. "We know what it did to her when you left. We know what you were going to do to yourself and to your family. That's why you can't be trusted anymore. Bella, you're in love with him, you can't see his faults."

"I could go back to Forks High," Jasper said suddenly, "I could find a job there, then I could keep an eye on Edward."

"You'll make a very sexy librarian," Alice told him.

Jasper laughed, "is that a vision or a request? Am I going to work in the school library?"

"Yep," Alice grinned, "it's going to be fun, Jaz."

"What does everyone think?" asked Carlisle "you never told us your opinion, Bella."

"I'd like Edward to come back to school. I think that he'd like it too."

"With Alice and Jasper on site, I don't see how much trouble he could get into" Emmett offered.

"If he so much as rows with Bella, I want to have another meeting," Rosalie said.

Carlisle looked over at Edward again, I guessed that he was asking him if he would speak. I don't know what Carlisle was thinking towards Edward, though, because he didn't respond in anyway. "Alright," Carlisle sighed, "then we're all agreed. Edward goes back to school. That's something. But, we've told Charlie that Edward went off the rails in LA. He's going to expect us to impose some sort of a punishment. What are we going to do? We need something that looks like the normal thing a family would do."

Emmett laughed, "we need something that the normal twenty-first century family would do. I don't think that what any of our human families used to do will be considered normal anymore. I think that Charlie would call child services if you told him that you'd taken a switch to Edward!"

"Isn't this your sphere of expertise, Bella?" Jasper asked me.

"Why would punishing teenagers be my sphere of expertise? I'm not an out-of-control teenager."

Jasper laughed "I meant that you were a normal twenty-first century teenager. We want to look like a normal twenty-first century family."

"First of all, a normal family wouldn't have tied their son to a chair."

"Really?" Jasper actually seemed surprised, "I would have thought that humans would be more likely to tie people up than vampires are. It's much easier for you, any rope would hold a human in place. It was quite hard for me to find something that wouldn't break if he moved his arms."

"Of course a human would have got tired after fighting with you and Emmett all night long," Rosalie said, "a human Edward would be fast asleep by now."

They all looked over at him, as if they were half-expecting him to have fallen asleep. I followed their gaze, imagining a sleeping Edward. He would look like an angel with his peaceful face surrounded by tumbling bronze curls.

"Should we untie him?" Esme asked.

"I don't see what difference it makes. The only human who can see him right now is Bella, and she doesn't think that we're human anyway." Alice answered, "besides, he's still thinking about his options. We don't want to risk anything with Bella right here."

I wondered what options Edward was considering. If Alice was concerned that he might be a danger to me, then he must be considering ways of getting rid of me. Maybe he was so desperate to get away from me that he was thinking about throwing me out of a window. I was glad that Alice kept her comments vague. I didn't want to hear that Edward was so furious at my continued presence that he was on the verge of violence. "Oh, well, I think that parents take away privileges and ground teenagers. You could tell Charlie that you'd set him extra chores and stopped his allowance. Oh, and threatened military school."

"Couldn't we just send him to military school?" Emmett offered. He dodged Rosalie's slap, but he couldn't escape Esme's quiet reproof.

"Grounding sounds like a good idea, we shouldn't let him go out unaccompanied until he's back in control of himself" Jasper said.

"Take his cars," said Rosalie, "Charlie will notice that, and it will make it a lot harder for him to disappear off to Italy again."

Alice nodded approvingly, "that will work," she said, "people will talk a little bit. But they'll accept that Carlisle and Esme have got things under control. Charlie will approve. Though you'll have to be very good and very polite for a long time if you want to stop him hating you." She addressed the last sentence to Edward, not seeming fazed by his continued failure to make eye contact with her.

"Edward? Are you really not going to make any comment?" Carlisle asked again, "Bella, you ask him."

"Edward? Are you alright?"

He nodded.

That was something. He was responding to me. I tried again, "did you hear what Rosalie and Carlisle said?"

He nodded again.

"It's going to take him ages to start talking," Alice said, "and he's going to complain at losing the Volvo and then pout when Carlisle takes the Vanquish. But nothing he says is going to make any difference to anyone's opinion. Once Bella and Edward have had a chat, he'll be talking again and then we can have a real Cullen-style conversation about how long Edward's grounded for. That will be fun! But, this bit is pretty dull. Bella and Edward just talk things through very, very slowly and come to a lot of conclusions that the rest of us reached before this meeting even started. Let's leave Bella and Edward alone before we all get bored out of our minds."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Obviously, I didn't write the 'Twilight' series and I have no rights to any of the characters. But, I did read and enjoy the books, and this is my way of continuing to enjoy them. I hope that nobody takes offence.

They all stood up to leave. Jasper hesitated by Edward's chair and looked over at Alice, "do I untie him yet?" he asked.

"No, it'll do him good to be in a slightly more vulnerable position for a bit. We'll only be upstairs, Bella, so just call when you want us to come back. If he won't take you seriously and tries to dismiss your opinion, call the rest of the family and we'll sort him out."

Silently, the Cullens slipped from the room. I was alone with Edward at last. I was alone with Edward and he couldn't get away from me. I could get all the answers that I wanted. Alice was right, leaving him tied to the chair did seem like a good idea, just for a little while longer.

"Are you alright?"

He nodded into the table.

"Did Jasper hurt you?"

Edward sighed, "no," he told his knees, "I'm not physically hurt."

All this time I had longed for Edward to return, and now he was finally here it was nothing like I had imagined. I'd thought that we'd instantly return to where we'd been before he left. I thought that there'd be kissing, hugging and lots and lots of talking. Surely we had loads to catch up on. Why did it seem like there was nothing to say?

"So, um, how have you been?"

"Fine," Edward told the table.

He didn't ask after me. But, then, he'd probably spoken to Alice already. I didn't want to talk about it, and I was relieved that he didn't either. Still, it made me wonder: did he hate me? Did he just wish that I would leave him alone?

After all, I'd done enough. By jumping off that cliff, I'd ruined his life. He'd tried to kill himself, and now he was in trouble with his whole family. Perhaps I should just go away and leave him in peace. But, I couldn't bring myself to do that. So, instead I said "Why did Alice bring me here? Is she trying to torture you?"

"No," he looked at me again, surprised by my question. I realised that was the trick to making him look at me. Every time I surprised him, he looked up. I would have to keep surprising him. "Alice brought you here because she thought that you would defend me. She was worried that my family were so furious with my behaviour that they might do something drastic. I suppose she was worried that they would send me away. It would be understandable. I've caused them all a lot of trouble and worry and now I've brought them to the attention of the Volturi. Alice thought that you would stop them sending me away forever."

"I don't believe that your family would ever ask you to leave. Surely none of them were thinking that, you should know."

He almost laughed at that, a short bark of bitter laughter, "they weren't thinking that, but most of them were deliberately blocking their thoughts from me with views of what I looked like."

"I don't think that was blocking their thoughts, Edward. I expect that they really were thinking about what you looked like. You look pretty rough."

"I'm truly sorry that you were brought here. I wish that I could take you home, but I can't do anything at the moment."

He came so close to asking me to leave, but he didn't quite say it. I should leave, I knew that. But, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I told myself that, if he asked me to, I would go. But, just being near him was wonderful. It was like being home.

I only wished that having me back in his life wasn't causing him such distress.

"What happened last night?"

He grimaced and ducked his head again, "I acted like an animal. Carlisle told me that I couldn't see you. He made me go out and hunt, then he said that I had to stay here. I really wanted to see you. I couldn't think about anything else. But they wouldn't let me. At first I tried persuasion and even begging. Then, when I realised that their minds were made up, I tried to escape. I fought with Jasper and Emmett all night long, but they were determined and they're strong. I couldn't get away. When Alice called this morning and said that she was bringing you over, they had to bring me downstairs for the meeting. I didn't believe that you were going to come here, I thought that they were trying to trick me. I thought that they were going to hide you from me forever. Jasper got fed up with all the fighting and tied me up. Then I just sat here until you arrived."

"I don't understand. If you were so desperate to see me last night, why didn't you want to see me this morning? Why do you keep saying that you wish I'd go away?"

It hadn't seemed like a surprising comment to me, but Edward looked up again anyway. The strangest things seemed to surprise him. "I haven't said that I wish you'd go away. I'm only alive when you're near me. Why would I want you to leave?"

"You have so said that you wish I'd go away. You said that you didn't want me here and you said that you wished you could take me home. What's that if it isn't wishing I'd leave?"

He shook his head and growled out "I love you. I always want you near me. But, obviously, I'm not exactly happy to be seen like this. It's humiliating enough that my family feel the need to restrain me in this way. It's mortifying for you to be here, seeing me, hearing what they're saying, discussing me as if I was a difficult child. I wish you weren't here, but I wish that I wasn't here too."

"You shouldn't just sit there sulking. If you don't like being treated like a difficult child, you shouldn't act like one." I snapped, and instantly regretted it. Edward sagged and drooped back down into his broken-stringed-puppet pose from before. "I'm sorry I said that. It was unkind. But I don't understand why you're not talking to your family."

"I don't have anything to say to them" he muttered into the table, "I understand why they want to get rid of me and I will go when they tell me to. But I can't offer and I can't say that I want to go. I'm too selfish. I wish that they'd keep me, even though I know that I don't deserve it. I wish that you would take me back too, even though I know that it's absurd."

"Say that again."

"I wish that you'd take me back, even though I know it's absurd." He looked up at me again, his eyes finally glinting, his voice finally containing some real emotion, "I know that I'm a mess. I know that I hurt you and I endangered you and I'm not good enough for you. I was never good enough for you. I know that – however hard I try – I will never be good enough for you. I will always drag you down. But, I really want you to let me try. I'm sorry, it's just more proof of how unworthy I am. If I loved you well enough, I would be pleased to let you go, knowing that it would be better for you. But I can't do it. I can't love you properly and unselfishly. I only want you. I want to be near you. I want to see you. I want to hear you. I'll follow you around like a puppy, if you'll let me. I'll slave for you for the rest of my existence I just want you to let me near you." He stopped suddenly, looking embarrassed and ashamed, "I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry."

"I'm very glad you did say that. Do you mean it? The loving me bit, I mean, not the being unworthy bit."

He smiled, "I love you, Bella. With every bit of me, I love you. I don't seem to be very good at showing it, but I do love you."

"What about your distractions? Did you love them?"

"Them?" he laughed at me, his eyes were golden and deep and rich again and he genuinely laughed at me, "there was nobody but you. I have never, ever, ever, loved anyone but you."

"So, what were you doing when you weren't near me? You say that you weren't chasing other women. What were you doing?"

He sighed "of course," he said, "I should have known you'd ask that. The only thing that's needed to make my humiliation complete. I was chasing women," I gasped and he grinned crookedly, "well, one woman. I was trying to track Victoria. I wasn't very good at it."

"You mean to tell me that you love me and we've found something that you're not good at? That's amazing. Those are the only two things that I have ever wanted to hear you say."

"Then I'll say them again: I love you, Bella Swan, and I am not at all good at tracking. I love you, and I am terrible at showing you how much I love you. I love you, and I can't get past Jasper, even though I can read his mind."

"How many inadequacies do you have?"

"Loads, you've never asked me to list them before. If you want, I'll sit here for hours telling you everything that I can't do and everything that I do badly. I love making you smile."

I laughed at him, "you can stop now. I'll hear more of your list later. It makes me feel better about myself to hear that the Perfect Edward Cullen isn't so perfect after all."

"I'm also not very good at being patient. Please will you tell me my fate? Do I have any chance of winning you back? May I at least try?"

"Silly Edward," I said, remembering how he used to call me 'silly Bella' and wondering if I liked the change of roles, "you never lost me. I love you and I always will. You left me behind, you didn't lose my love."

"I'm so sorry, my love. I shouldn't have done that. I will do anything to try and repay you. I will try to deserve your love. I will never get there, but I will try every day for the rest of your life."

That clumsy phrase 'the rest of your life' made me frown. I'd forgotten that old impasse. In the joy of hearing that he loved me, I'd forgotten that our love was hopeless. Even if he had never chosen to run from me, we would have eventually had to part. He was immortal, forever seventeen. I was already eighteen and I was going to get older and older.

"You're angry," he said, "you're angry with me. I can't even do a humble apology right. Please tell me what to do."

"I'm not angry with you. I just remembered something that made me cross."

"Will you tell me?" He struggled against his bonds, "I want to hold your hand, I want to bring it to my lips and pledge my undying love and loyal service. Why did Jasper have to tie this so tightly?"

It felt a bit silly, but I held my hand out to him, where he could reach it. He pressed his lips down fervently again and again. "Yours," he said between kisses, "I am yours, forever yours. I love you. I'm an idiot and I love you."

"I remembered our impasse," I told him, when he released my hand, "I remembered that you'll never grow old and I will, and eventually, however much we love each other, we will have to part. I remembered that you cannot love me forever and I cannot love you forever, because you won't change me. I remembered that and I was cross, because this won't last. Oh, it's wonderful now, but one day it will be over. One day you will find the strength to leave me 'for my own good' and you will break my heart again."

"Never," he said, looking longingly at my hand, he wanted to cement his new promise with more kisses, but I didn't feel like being kissed right now, "I will never leave you again. I will never find that strength. I will be around for the rest of your life. I will love you however old you are and I will follow you when you die."

"That's not what I want! I want you to change me and I want us to be young and in love and together forever. Why must you insist on death? Why insist on turning our love into a tragedy? I don't want to look like your grandmother. Even if you did still love me then (which I suspect is impossible) I wouldn't be able to have you with me in the same way. The only way that your promises of love can mean anything is if you change me."

"Never," he said again, angry now. He was angry that I was ruining his sweet loving reunion with my blast of reality and my fear of growing old without him. "I will not take away your soul. You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know what you're asking."

"Of course not, you know best, don't you, Edward? You always know best. How could I be so foolish as to believe your 'I'm an idiot' act? You don't respect my opinion at all. You don't want to listen to me. You just want to make another unilateral decision. How are we ever going to get past this? Why won't you take me seriously and at least listen to my opinion?"

Then I remembered Alice's words before she left. If Edward wouldn't listen to me, I should call for the family's help. There didn't seem any point in trying to retain any privacy in the Cullen household. If I really wanted Edward to listen to me, perhaps I should take Alice up on her offer. I wondered if she'd already seen my decision, but she didn't come in. Perhaps she was waiting for me to actually call, that was what she'd told me to do after all. Perhaps this was her attempt not to interfere too much. "Alice," I called out hesitantly, "Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle, I'm done talking with Edward. Can we finish the meeting now? I have one more point to bring up."

Silently they returned. I didn't hear them come down the stairs or across the hall. But they all smiled at me as they filed back into the room. Emmett and Jasper had changed and were looking their usual smart selves again.

"Way to go, Romeo," Rosalie muttered, as she walked by.

Alice leaned over and ruffled Edward's hair, "hey, idiot," she said, "you should listen to your sisters. You should especially listen to your clairvoyant sister. I could prevent a lot of your more stupid mistakes."

"I haven't made a mistake in the last five minutes," Edward said through clenched teeth.

That made everyone laugh.

"Well done, Edward," Rosalie replied, "five minutes without a mistake deserves a reward. How about we all help you write that list that Bella wanted? The Things That Perfect Edward Cannot Do List."

Nobody said anything, but Edward hissed under his breath, so I guess that Rosalie's comment had set them all thinking and he didn't like their suggestions.

"Alright," Carlisle interrupted the thought-assault, "I believe that we have a meeting to finish. The item on the table is a duration for grounding Edward. Then Bella has a new item of business for us to discuss. So, let's hear everyone's suggestions for a length of time."

"I've heard people say that they're grounded forever," Emmett offered, "maybe we could be the first family to take that seriously."

"I was hoping for sensible suggestions," said Carlisle.

"Until we leave Forks," Rosalie said, "we can't trust him here."

"That wouldn't give him a release date to look forward to," Alice said, "that sounds a little cruel."

"It doesn't make sense as something to tell Charlie either," Jasper added, "this is mainly for Charlie's benefit."

"We could tell Charlie that he was grounded until he turned eighteen," said Emmett. He laughed broadly at his own joke, and his siblings (except Edward, of course) smiled slightly. But Carlisle sighed.

"Until graduation," offered Alice.

"That's three months" Edward said aghast, at exactly the same moment that Esme said "that's only three months."

Edward glared at Esme, who explained softly "three months is manageable, Edward."

"Alright, but, as Jasper says, this is mainly for Charlie's benefit, hence this grounding is for appearances only. So I can still spend the nights with Bella."

"Are you sure that you want to be alone with Bella all night? What would you do if Bella chose to end your relationship?" Carlisle asked solemnly.

"It would be better if you stopped sneaking around behind Charlie's back," added Esme, "it isn't proper for you to be in Bella's room at night."

"But, what if Bella wants me there?"

Jasper sighed, "Bella's slept without you for eight solid months. I expect that she can continue to sleep without you for another three."

"Bella," Alice asked, noticing that I hadn't contributed yet, "what do you think?"

I shrugged, "it probably is better not to run the risk of Charlie finding Edward in my room at night. Sneaking around behind his back is a bit immature."

"That just means that I mustn't get caught," Edward protested, "it doesn't mean that I can't be with you."

Rosalie shook her head slowly, "he's forever seventeen," she said to me, "he can't grow up, you know."

"I'm not a typical teenage boy, I'm 104 years old. I don't need to grow up."

"Settle down, Edward," Esme said gently, "you're not a typical teenage boy, but you are still seventeen in lots of ways. That's what Rose meant. She is wrong about you not being able to grow up, though. It will be harder for you than it has been for Bella, but you can change and become more mature."

"If you're going to be involved in a serious relationship, you'll have to change a bit, Edward," Carlisle joined in, "you have to mould yourself to fit your partner's side."

"Bella's been growing and changing all the time that you've known her," Emmett said, "she was seventeen when you met, but she's nearer to nineteen now. You've got a bit of catching up to do, Eddie."

"I think that brings us on to Bella's item of business," said Carlisle, "before we get on to that, can we all agree to three months?"

Everyone except Edward nodded eagerly; they all seemed to be in a hurry to get on to the matter that I wanted to discuss. Having heard the conversation that I'd been having with Edward, it must have been easy for them to work out what I was going to say.

"Go on, Bella," said Jasper, "you need to bring this point up yourself." The whole family was looking at me expectantly

"Do you all know what she's going to say? I don't know what this is about. How do you all know what she's going to say?" Edward asked. He sounded frustrated, he didn't like not understanding things. I wondered why he couldn't just read their minds.

"We all listen to Bella," said Rosalie, "that's one of the things that you should start practising."

"Rose, don't tease your brother," Esme responded, "go on, Bella dear."

"Alright, well this is sort of about what happened in Italy and sort of about me and Edward. I used to think that this discussion only involved Edward and myself, but I realise now that it involves everyone here.

"I guess that Alice and/or Edward have filled you in on what happened in Italy, so you must all know that Alice promised that I was going to be changed soon. And," I looked at Alice to emphasise my point, "she meant it.

"So, now we only have two choices: either I get changed into a vampire," I tried to ignore the low hiss from Edward, but my voice shook as I continued, "or the Volturi will be paying us a visit."

"I think that you're over-estimating the danger of the Volturi," Edward interrupted, which earned him six very pointed glares.

"Edward, you know that it isn't polite to interrupt You can make your point later, when Bella is finished."

"Sorry, Esme. Sorry, Bella."

"Alright, well, I don't want the Volturi coming here." This time Edward managed to stop himself interrupting, but he pouted in annoyance. "I don't want any of my family put in danger. So, I'm going to offer you two choices: either someone changes me, or I will fly back to Italy alone and let the Volturi deal with me. I know that Edward in particular is happy to disobey the Volturi, but I don't want you to endanger yourselves like that.

"I just have to make one last thing clear, before I finish and open up the discussion." Alice saw what I was going to say and gasped, but she didn't speak. "If you do decide to change me, that doesn't mean that you're all going to be stuck with me forever. From what I understand, I will need to be supervised whilst I'm a newborn, but after a few years I will be able to go off on my own. If you don't want me as part of the family, I will understand. You will never have to choose between me and Edward. If he can't stand to be around me, I'll leave so that he doesn't have to. That's all."

"Bella, we will never abandon you," Alice protested, quickest to speak because she'd seen what was coming and had a chance to prepare her line, "you are a part of our family and we'll never want to send you away."

"This family sticks together," said Carlisle, "your future with Edward may be a little uncertain right now, but you belong with us. And, once you're changed, we won't ever ask you to leave."

"What do you mean, 'once she's changed'? Carlisle, that's only one of the options."

"The other option is that she goes to Italy and lets them kill her," said Emmett, "are you suggesting that Carlisle ought to consider that one, Edward?" I'd never heard Emmett sound angry before.

"Of course I'm not suggesting that. I'm suggesting that you let me explain a third option. We could protect Bella as a human. I can't hear her, Aro can't hear her, even Jane's gift doesn't affect her. I'd be willing to bet that Demetri can't track her. So all we have to do is watch for the Volturi coming to visit – and Alice can easily handle that – then we hide her away until they give up and go back to Italy. Even if they did find Bella, there's a lot of us and we could probably defend her."

"Now I know why you said that you were an idiot," Jasper growled at his little brother, which made Edward slide back slightly, Jasper was kind of scary when he was cross. "If we tried to fight the Volturi guard, we would lose. I'm glad that Jane's gift doesn't work on Bella, but that doesn't help the rest of us. If we tried to fight them, the Volturi would destroy our entire family."

"And you can't rely so heavily on my gift, Edward. We all know that I don't see everything and sometimes I make mistakes. I don't want Bella's safety to depend on my ability to see the Volturi coming. I'm sorry, Bella, but I'm just not good enough."

"You're not a crystal ball, darlin'. Nobody is going to use you like that." Jasper pulled Alice towards him and she snuggled against his chest.

"I see your point, Eddie," Emmett offered, "I'd like a good excuse to pick a fight with the weird guys in cloaks too. But I think that Bella's idea is better. Bella will make a great vampire, and we won't need to worry about her getting run over anymore. Then, you can go and challenge Felix to a wrestling competition or something, if you're still eager for a fight."

"Bella shouldn't have to lose her humanity because she's scared," said Rosalie. "Edward has finally said something with which I agree. If anything is worth fighting for, it's the life of a family member. I say we fight to keep Bella human."

"That's the same thing as saying that we fight to lose Bella," Alice argued, "if she stays human then she will die. That's what being human means."

"That's not the only thing that being human means," Rosalie argued, "it means a lot more than that. It means the ability to grow and to change and to be really alive. It means the chance to have a child."

"Nobody is going to be able to persuade anyone else to change their mind. If we keep discussing the pros and cons of humanity, we're just going to get upset. We should just get on and vote" Alice said.

"You're only saying that because you know the way that the vote will go," Rosalie said. "I want a chance to persuade Bella that being human is worth it. I want her to know what she'd be giving up. I've never stopped grieving over my inability to have a child and I know that it upsets Esme too. It's a deep and a lasting pain, I want to spare Bella that." Emmett wrapped his big arm around Rosalie's shoulders and squeezed her tight. She leaned into his embrace, taking comfort from the biggest consolation that her existence offered her.

Esme answered her, "you're right, Rose, for you and for me, it has proven to be a deep and lasting pain that nothing can erase. But, for Alice it is barely worth mentioning, she doesn't suffer as we do. Everyone is different and Bella may not feel the same way that you or I do."

"Bella is choosing this life. We don't know what difference that will make," Carlisle added, holding Esme's hand tightly. Now all of the couples were comforting each other, apart from me and Edward, we were separated by opinion, by misunderstandings and by the ridiculous seating arrangement that left Edward unable to comfort me with his touch.

"So we vote," Jasper said, sadly. The mood at the table must be affecting him badly, everyone was unhappy for one reason or another.

"Nobody should have a vote except for Bella and me," Edward complained, I wondered if he already knew how all his family would vote and was trying to prevent it happening.

"We're all going to vote, Edward." Jasper said, in that firm voice of his. "Bella has already explained that she sees this as a decision effecting the whole family. Esme, why don't you start?"

Jasper's firm voice obviously affected the whole family. He announced that they were going to vote, and all argument stopped.

"I think that it is safest for Bella to be one of us, and I believe that she knows what she is doing and has a good chance at happiness. I vote yes."

Jasper was on Esme's right, so he spoke next, I wondered why he had arranged for the votes to be taken in this order, was it in order to ensure that Carlisle's vote was cast last of all?

"Yes," said Jasper, "Bella's argument makes sense and I believe that she has thought this through more thoroughly than any of us had an opportunity to do."

"I'm more selfish," Alice said, "I want Bella to be my sister. I'm glad that she wants this too. I vote yes."

"I'm sorry, Edward," I said, "I hate arguing with you and I can't bear seeing you this upset. But, I don't think that any other way makes sense. I vote yes, this is what I want to do."

"No," Edward said, "I will do anything to prevent this. I vote no."

"Yes," said Emmett, "this is the best way to keep Bella safe." I was surprised by that vote, I thought that he would be more supportive of Rosalie.

"I have to vote no, Bella," Rosalie said, "I know it's a losing vote, but I still think that your humanity is worth fighting for and worth dying for. I would rather we all died than you became one of us. I think that you stand to lose too much."

It was two votes to five. If we were going to go with the majority, then I had already won. But Carlisle's vote probably counted for a lot, if he voted no, then it might still go against me.

"Yes," he said, "I will support Bella's choice."

I had won the vote. I ought to have been thrilled. But I couldn't even smile, not with Edward sat next to me, slumped in his chair not speaking or looking at anyone. I had wanted to win, but I hadn't wanted him to lose. I never wanted Edward to lose anything.

Jasper was cuddling Alice, Emmett was holding Rosalie, Carlisle was holding Esme's hand. I was here to support Edward and protect him from hurt. He was hurt now, and he needed comforting, even more so than anyone else at the table. I got up from my chair so that I could get close to him. Tentatively, I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. He didn't respond in any way. I stroked his hair gently, feeling his soft curls between my fingers. He didn't move. I stopped and drew my hand back slightly. He tipped his head slightly, following my hand, forcing me back into contact with him. That was all the proof that I needed from him. I knew now that he wanted to feel my touch. I leaned against him, feeling the cool of his arm against my side, and stroked his hair and his cheek in a rhythmic motion. There was nothing that I could say to soothe him right now, but I could be here and I could touch him. I hoped that he could feel some of my love for him, coming through the heat of my fingers.

"We should set a date," said Jasper.

"It'll be after graduation," Alice answered dully, even she couldn't be happy while Edward was so defeated and weak, "then we can tell people that Bella's going off to college and her disappearance won't raise as many suspicions."

"Who will do it?" I asked. I felt Edward shiver against my side and instinctively I put my arms around him and held him as tightly as I could. "Hush," I said, soothing him as if he were having a bad dream, "you're safe, everything will be alright."

"I can change you without losing control," said Carlisle.

Edward whimpered slightly. I wanted to get closer to him, to cuddle against him, to push my cheek against his and make him feel my presence. But, he was immovable as a rock, I couldn't lift his head.

Jasper slipped round behind him and pulled his chair away from the table, so that I could climb onto Edward's lap and nuzzle my head under his chin. I ought to have been embarrassed to put on such a display of physical affection in full view of the whole family, but they were all holding each other too. And Edward needed me to hold him now. Even though it was my fault that he was feeling this way, I was still the only one who could offer him any relief at all. Settled on his lap, I snaked one arm around his shoulders and lifted my other hand to stroke his cheek. I muttered nonsense to him in a gentle, quiet voice, "it's alright, I love you, everything will work out, it's ok, don't be sad, hush now." He kept his eyes closed so that he couldn't look at me, but he pressed his cheek lightly against the top of my head and he let me stroke him.

I don't know how long we sat like this, Edward silent, and me soothing, the rest of the Cullens watching and talking – if they were talking at all – too quietly for me to hear. Finally, Alice spoke at a human volume, "Bella has to move soon, or she'll get cramp, and she has to eat."

"I'll make some lunch," Esme offered, "would a sandwich be alright? I can make chicken salad, Edward said that you liked that."

"That would be great, thanks, Esme," I didn't even offer to make it myself. There was nothing more important than comforting my Edward, not even being a polite guest and preventing my hostess from the disgusting task of preparing food that revolted her.

"Can we untie Edward?" Jasper asked his wife, "Bella would be more comfortable in the lounge."

Alice sighed, "he'll destroy his piano and run off. We won't be able to get him back in time for school."

"Edward," Rosalie said, "listen to me carefully. You are grounded, which means that you cannot leave this house. When Bella goes home, you will have to stay here. You can't get past Emmett and Jasper. Bella will not be here for much longer, so you should think very carefully about how you want to use your limited time with her. Do you want to break things and scare her away, or do you want to sit quietly and hold her in your arms?"

He didn't reply, but Rosalie didn't seem to mind, she was looking at Alice not Edward. "Well," she asked, "did it make any difference?"

"He'll be ok," Alice said, "he plans on behaving until Bella leaves."

I clambered off Edward's lap so that Jasper could set him free. Even working at vampire-speed it took Jasper a few minutes to untie Edward completely. Then he stepped back. Despite Alice's assurances, Jasper and Emmett were alert. They stood either side of Edward, watching him intently.

Not wanting to panic his brothers, Edward moved slowly. He opened his eyes and looked at me. Then he ducked his head so that he could only see me through his eyelashes. I wondered if he knew how cute that made him look. I hoped not. It wouldn't be good for our relationship if Edward knew that I couldn't deny him anything when he peered up at me through his eyelashes. If he asked me to change my mind now and agree to stay human until I died, I think that I would have done so.

He moved his right arm slowly, lifting it and placing it back down on his lap. Then he did the same with his left arm. It was as though he was testing that his limbs still worked. It would have made sense had he been human, but it seemed strange for a vampire. Surely his limbs couldn't have cramped up, however long he'd been held in one position.

"You don't have to move _that_ slowly," Jasper muttered.

"I'm attempting to avoid your wrath," Edward told him.

Jasper merely growled in return.

"I'll drag you through to the lounge by your hair if you like," Emmett offered in a tone that made it sound as though he was merely offering to give Edward a hand.

Edward smirked sarcastically and got up out of the chair.

"You'd better tell Esme that you'll replace that," said Alice, nodding at the chair.

"I don't see how that's my fault" Edward responded, "tying me to a chair was the Major's bright idea."

"Maybe so," Rosalie said, "but it's your fingerprints pressed into the arms."

"Perhaps Esme will like it," Edward said, "it makes the chair unique."

Jasper laughed, "you should tell her that" he said, "she liked Bella's idea of extra chores for teenagers who make a nuisance of themselves."

"I'm sorry I ruined your chair, Mom," Edward said, no more loudly than he'd been speaking before, "I'll replace it for you, I promise." Then he glanced at me quickly, "Esme's made your lunch, may I come with you?"

"I always want you with me," I said, taking his hand and letting him lead me into the lounge.

"Except at night," Edward added softly.

"It's not right to sneak around behind Charlie's back and I don't want to act like a silly girl anymore."

"Are you already out-growing me?" Edward tried to cover his hurt with curiosity, but he couldn't look at me, "am I just a silly little boy to you now?"

"No, of course not. You're Edward and I love you and I admire you. I think that you're amazing and clever and self-disciplined and wonderful. I think of you as a man, not a boy. It's just that I've learnt some new things and one of them is that I don't always have to agree with you. I can love you and respect you and still disagree with you."

"Oh. Do you mind if it takes me a little while to get used to that? I'm a tiny bit afraid of the new independent Bella who joins forces with the rest of my family."

"I don't know about joining forces," Jasper said, with a grin, "I think that Bella rather led the charge in there. It's a pleasure to serve under you, General Swan." He snapped his heels and gave me a proper military salute.

"General Swan, is it?" Alice teased, "where does that leave me? Are you deserting my ranks, Major Whitlock?"

"Certainly not, Ma'am. A Field Marshall outranks a General and I will always obey your orders first and foremost."

"What about you, Eddie," Emmett asked, "are you going to sign up to serve under General Swan?"

Edward frowned, he never liked Emmett to tease him about being under me or on top of me or pressed against me in any fashion that might not be perfectly proper.

I interrupted before Edward had a chance to speak "I think that we'll leave the role-play to the rest of you degenerates. Edward and I are happy enough just being Edward and Bella."

Edward looked shocked, but his siblings roared with laughter. I think that they took 'degenerates' as a compliment. Alice dragged Edward upstairs to change his clothes, that was probably a good idea, he looked like he'd been in about six fights in a row. He clearly didn't want to waste a moment of our time together, he was back before I'd chosen a sofa on which to sit.

We reached the lounge and fanned out onto the various sofas and chairs. I snuggled up with Edward on the love seat. He took my sandwich on his lap and fed it to me bit by bit. I wouldn't have thought that chicken salad sandwiches were a good thing to hand-feed but I liked seeing Edward happy and sweet like this. There was a risk that I would disgust his family by dropping bits of bread and lettuce, but it was worth it to have Edward so close and contented.

While I ate, Emmett channel hopped, Rosalie flicked through a magazine, looking up occasionally to tell Emmett that he wasn't watching 'that rubbish'; Jasper and Alice were in a world of their own, whispering and giggling about their 'campaign'. Esme and Carlisle were conversing quietly. It was a lovely, peaceful afternoon in the Cullen house.

It was Carlisle who broke the peace, standing up and announcing that he had to go into the hospital. He looked at Edward for a second, asking him something in his head. Edward frowned and shook his head slightly.

"I don't know why you're making me say this out loud, Edward," Carlisle sounded annoyed, "give me your keys before I go."

"I don't see why I can't be trusted anymore," Edward griped, but he handed over a set of car keys from his trouser pocket.

"Edward!" Carlisle said, getting even more annoyed, "the Vanquish as well."

Edward pouted, but he handed over a second set of keys.

Carlisle shook his head and left the room muttering, for a brief moment it was just like any other relationship between a teenage boy and his father. It was quite nice to see Edward acting so normal.

I stroked his cheek to bring his attention back to me and said, "are we a couple again?"

"I hope so. Otherwise it would be very improper for me to be holding you on my lap like this."

"Are you annoyed with me about the whole getting your family to over-rule you and agree to change me into a vampire thing?"

"I don't have any right to be annoyed. You knew what you wanted and you came up with a way of getting it."

"I didn't say that you had a right to be annoyed, I just asked if you were."

He sighed, "yes," he said. "I'm sorry, Bella. I know that you have every right to make your own decisions. But I think that you've got this one wrong and I'm annoyed that you ignored my view and went ahead anyway. However, you're not going to be changed until after you graduate, so I'm hoping to be able to persuade you to change your mind instead."

"Did you just say that you don't like it when I make decisions without considering your views? Is that because you have a patent pending on that attitude?"

Emmett guffawed, reminding me that this conversation wasn't private. But, while Edward was grounded, we weren't going to get any private conversations, so I would just have to get used to his family hearing everything that we said to one another.

"I wish I could read your mind," Edward said, "I would rather be told off in a way that only you and I can hear. The new Bella seems to be mad at me a lot."

"I'm not more mad at you, I'm just less quiet than the old Bella."

"You mean that you always thought that I was controlling, but you've only just started to tell me? Is this conversation going to end with you breaking up with me?"

"No, Edward!" I kissed him on the lips as hard as I could. I tried to keep our lips pressed together, but he pulled away easily. Edward had a level of intimacy that he would let us reach, and then he pulled back. Honestly, I wasn't absolutely sure where the limits were, but that hardly mattered. Edward knew his limits and Edward asserted them fiercely, at least that hadn't changed. "I love you and I plan on loving you forever. I can't imagine anything stopping me from loving you. But I don't have to think that you're perfect, only that you're perfect for me."

He kissed me back, more gently and slowly than I had kissed him, breaking the kiss as soon as his level had been reached. "I rather like being thought of as perfect," he confessed, "it's flattering. I liked it when you called me 'Perfect Edward', even though you were teasing me."

"I used to think of you as Perfect Edward. There never seemed to be anything that you couldn't do."

"He can't juggle," Rosalie shouted.

"He can't roll his tongue," Emmett added.

"He can't ride a horse," said Jasper.

"He can't do an Irish accent," Alice added.

"I can't live without you," Edward whispered to me.

"That's cheating," Jasper scolded, "that's not the right kind of thing at all. Bella wants to hear about real things that you can't do, like your inability to dance on your pointes."

"Why do you even know that, Jasper? When did you watch Edward try to dance en pointe?" I asked.

"We all learned ballet once. Alice wanted to go to a class and asked – well, forced – us all to go with her." Edward explained, "Jasper's right that I couldn't dance on my pointes, even though the rest of them all can."

"But, I can do that too," I said, delighted, "I did ballet when I was little, look!"

I jumped up and rolled up onto my toes, and danced a quick spiral around the room. Alice giggled and leapt up to join me. Then Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett and even Esme danced. Of course, they could all remember steps from real dances and they danced perfectly, leaping and springing and twirling like professionals. They all sprang onto their toes in the Italian method, which was pretty impressive to watch. But, I didn't mind that I wasn't anywhere near as good as them, I was thrilled to be better than Edward!

Who would have thought that there would be something graceful that I could do and Edward couldn't? I was full of joy because it was fun to dance and it was amazing to be among the Cullens without feeling like I was the only uncoordinated one. Jasper was probably sending out vibes of joy, because I could hear everyone else was laughing too. We all danced and it felt like flying. Pretty soon, of course, I was out of breath and I had to sit down. The rest of them stopped as well, laughing like bells.

Edward smiled at me and gave me a round of applause. "There must be loads of things you can do that I can't," he said, "I never realised how happy you would be to discover them. You look beautiful dancing. I wish that you would do it more often."

"What else can't you do?" I asked him, before he had a chance to invite me to dance with him again.

"I can't peel a lemon and get the rind off as one whole piece," he said, frowning as he tried to think of a list of things that he couldn't do, but didn't mind telling me, "I can't tell what colours match. I can't calm people down when they're angry. I can't jump as far as Alice can, nor as high as Jasper can. How long do you want me to do this for? It's not really a lot of fun for me."

I laughed, "poor Edward, I didn't mean to upset you. It's just amazing to see this new fallible side of you."

"It's not new to any of us," Rosalie said, "we can help you make your list a lot longer, Edward."

He sighed, "do I have to keep going?" he asked me.

"No, I didn't want to upset you. I won't tease you anymore. I'll stop dancing on my toes."

"I liked that part of being teased. I think that watching you dance is one of my favourite things in the whole world. Though I like kissing you even better." He pulled me into his arms and began to kiss every part of me that he could reach. I was gasping and laughing as he kissed, and he was smiling and laughing at my squealing reaction to all the kisses that tickled. Then he sighed and released me, "can't Bella stay a little bit longer?" he whined, at exactly the same time as Esme said, "I think it's time for Bella to go home now."

Esme smiled indulgently, but still she said, "no, Edward, Bella has to go home."

"Can I take her?"

"Don't be foolish, Edward, you know that you can't. I'll drive Bella home," Alice said, "I brought her so that makes sense."

"Emmett and I will take the first watch, then" said Rosalie, "we can hang around in the woods outside Bella's house and keep an eye out for Victoria."

I was surprised. I would never have imagined that I would be able to forget something as awful as a vampire trying to kill me, but so much had happened today that I had completely forgotten Victoria. She seemed to belong to another life, before Edward got grounded and Carlisle promised to change me and I learned that Edward couldn't do ballet. I was shocked to hear the Victoria still existed in this new and exciting world.

"In that case, I won't be able to come with you to drop Bella home," Jasper said, sounding disappointed, "we can't leave Esme alone to handle a moody Edward."

"No, you can't come too," Alice said to Edward, too annoyed to even let him speak before she answered him, "you will stay here and be good. Don't make Jazz tie you up again."

"I'll miss you," Edward told me, holding me close and breathing in the scent of my hair, "please come back soon. Won't you let me visit tonight?"

"Oh, Edward, you know that I'll miss you too. But, we can't spend every moment together. I'll come and see you tomorrow."

"But not until the afternoon," Alice said. "You're going to be busy tomorrow morning" she told me, which was news to me.

"That's not fair" Edward complained, "why will you make me wait so long?"

"You'll have plenty to keep you occupied," Esme told him, "there's a trail of destruction waiting for you to straighten it up."

He nodded, "I'm sorry; I'll fix everything that I can and replace what needs replacing. When will you come back, Bella?"

"She'll get here when she gets here," Alice snapped, "now, say goodbye nicely." I wondered what I was going to be doing that would stop me running to Edward as soon as the sun came up. But, if Alice said that I would be busy, she was probably right.

"Goodbye, Bella," Edward kissed me again, on my lips, on my forehead, on my cheeks, on my hand, up my arm, then once more on my lips, "please come back to me soon."

"See you later, darlin'" Jasper said to Alice, still sounding a bit down at being left behind.

Alice whispered something to him that made him grin and he stood up straight, to attention. Then he put a warning hand on Edward's shoulder, reminding him that he was to stay put.

"You won't see us till tomorrow" Rosalie told me, "but don't worry, we'll be around." Then she took Emmett's hand and they ran off together.

Alice took my arm and steered me out the door. When we got into the car she said, "you need me to remind you of the cover story now." So we talked about that all the way back to Charlie's house.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Obviously, I didn't write the 'Twilight' series and I have no rights to any of the characters. But, I did read and enjoy the books, and this is my way of continuing to enjoy them. I hope that nobody takes offence.

Charlie was pleased to see that it was Alice who'd brought me home and not Edward. He nodded approvingly when we told him that Edward was grounded and without wheels for a while. He said that he hoped Edward would learn to take a bit more responsibility, which I almost laughed out loud at. All of Edward's family were trying to make him take a bit less responsibility, but Charlie didn't know exactly what had happened, and he only saw the seventeen year old side of Edward.

Alice didn't stay for long. She assured Charlie that my memory was back and that Carlisle thought I would be alright. Then she excused herself, saying that Jasper was cooking tonight and she'd better be home on time. I made pasta for myself and Charlie.

He needed to get a bit off his chest about Edward. He was furious with him for dragging my into his problems. Part of me wanted to defend Edward to the hilt, but the story that Charlie had been told didn't really leave much room for Edward's defence.

Basically it sounded as though Edward, upset about our break up, had sulked for ages, then took himself off to some ridiculously dangerous place and waited for Alice and me to follow him. Put like that, I didn't know what to say in support of him!

Besides, Charlie looked older since I'd got back from Italy, he seemed careworn now. And I was grateful that he did care so much about me. I hadn't exactly been an easy person to live with. Since I moved in with him, Charlie had put up with my drama and my breakdown, several pretty rocky hospital trips and two sudden disappearing acts. Though I hadn't meant to do so, I had epitomised the difficult teenage daughter.

A big part of me wanted to be on Charlie's side for once. I didn't want to argue with him, or to worry him anymore. So I found myself saying "I'm not going to jump back into a serious relationship, Dad, I'm taking things more slowly this time."

His relieved grin was so deep I thought it might give him new wrinkles. "I'm pleased to hear you sounding so mature, Bells."

"Thanks, Dad. Look, I know that I was too tied up in Edward before and that's one of the reasons why I took it so hard when he left. I don't want to be broken hearted next time he ends it. I want to just have fun now and not get so committed."

I don't know what gave me the greatest surprise: hearing me say those words or realising that I meant them. I really didn't want to be broken-hearted when Edward left me again.

"I think that's a good idea, to be honest. Perhaps you could try spending a bit more time with other friends and a bit less with Edward. You know, him being grounded might turn out to be a blessing in disguise."

I smiled, "I'm not saying that I don't want to date Edward. I'm just saying that I don't want to base my whole life on him."

"And I'm not saying that I'm pleased to hear you're dating him again. But, I am pleased to hear that you've got a healthier attitude to it this time around. I hope it works out well, Bells, I really do."

I think that we both embarrassed ourselves with quite that much heart-to-heart. Charlie, picked up the remote and we sat in companionable silence watching an old Bond movie.

I liked that about Charlie and me: we could sit silently together, without needing to talk about everything. The Cullens all knew every detail of each others' lives, and they talked about every single thing. That was ok. Sometimes that was kind of fun. But Charlie and I didn't have to do that. I liked the ease of my relationship with Charlie. When the film finished, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"Just because you're my Dad."

"Night, Bells."

"Night."

The window was closed in my bedroom. I walked over to open it, but when I got there I stopped. There was no need to open it tonight. He wasn't going to be coming over. It was a cool night and it might well rain. So I left the window closed.

I looked at my closed window and wondered why this had seemed like a good idea. That afternoon it had seemed like such a simple thing: sneaking around behind Charlie's back was a bad idea, so I insisted that we stopped. Everyone agreed that was the right thing and the best thing to do. In the clear light of day it was an obvious choice. But now, now that I was standing alone in my room, looking at the closed window and anticipating a lonely night by myself, it didn't seem like such a great idea after all.

The night stretching ahead seemed very long. The hours it would take me to settle into sleep seemed like a mountain to climb. I wondered how it would feel to wake from a nightmare and know that Edward wasn't here to comfort me because I told him that it was silly.

When I had been with Edward, cosy and safe in his house, talking with him and all of his family, I couldn't imagine how I would feel now. Here I was alone in my room, dreading the night and the dreams that it would bring with it and wondering why on earth I'd banished my own personal dreamcatcher from my bed. I sat on the bed and wondered if he would come by if I called him.

I didn't hear the phone ringing, but I heard Charlie call up the stairs, "Bells, it's for you."

I raced down the stairs wondering who it could be. Had Alice seen me debating with myself as to whether I should open the window? Was she calling to warn me that I'd catch pneumonia?

Charlie handed it over and whispered, "obviously grounding doesn't come with phone restrictions at the Cullen house," I laughed. Edward wouldn't think that was funny at all.

"Hello, Edward."

"Bella! I miss you already. When will you come over tomorrow?"

"I don't know yet. I think in the morning but . . ." I couldn't say 'but Alice predicted something else', not while Charlie was stood right there, "Alice might have better plans," I said instead.

Edward hissed, "why would it matter what Alice said? If you decide to see me in the morning, then you can change what she sees. Alice sees the future, she doesn't control it."

"Just don't spend all your time pacing up and down waiting for me. I'll let you know when I'm on my way."

There was a pause before he replied in a too bright voice "I'll find something to do. I called to tell you how much I love you. I wanted that to be the last thing you heard before you went to sleep. I wanted to wish you sweet dreams."

"I love you too. What are you going to be doing?"

"Just missing you. Probably remembering how happy you looked when you were dancing this afternoon. You're always beautiful, of course, but you're transcendent when you're happy."

"You're very sweet on the phone."

He laughed at me. "I'll have to phone you more often," he said. Then he sighed, "but you sound tired. You should go to sleep, pretty Bella."

"Alright, good night, Edward."

"Good night, my Bella, I love you."

I hung up the phone and ran upstairs again. I didn't want to talk to Charlie again tonight, I wanted Edward to get his wish, I wanted the last thing I heard before I went to sleep to be his voice telling me that he loved me.

. . .

"Bells," Charlie was calling up the stairs again, I had only just got dressed and was still trying to tame my hair, "there's a phone call for you."

Was Edward going to call me every night and every morning until his curfew was lifted? That would drive Charlie mad. I wondered how many days of twice-daily phone calls it would take for Charlie to crack and complain to Carlisle. Maybe Alice should see if she could tell. Charlie wasn't annoyed yet, anyway. When I took the phone off him he was grinning, did that mean that Edward had said something right?

"Hello, Edward."

"Yuck! Bells, don't call me that. I mean, sure, it's been a while since we spoke and you might have forgotten who I am by now. But, really, couldn't you have guessed something less offensive?" Jake was teasing, thank goodness, I wondered how offended he really was at being called Edward.

"Sorry, Mike, I didn't recognise your voice."

He laughed, "isn't Mike that idiot who threw up at the cinema? You're right, I'll take that over the name of that leech of yours."

"Be nice, Jake, his name's Edward."

"Sure, sure. Is he back, then? Does he call you often?"

"He called last night, I think that they're all back for good" I didn't like how awkward this conversation was getting. Why did I have to say something so stupid at the very beginning of the phone call? Why couldn't I have had at least a couple of minutes chat with Jacob before ruining it?

"Well, that's one of my questions answered, then. I suppose that you threw yourself at him. Why did he even need to call you, isn't he suckered to your side day and night?"

He deliberately said 'suckered' in order to bring back the leech image. I felt cross right away. It's amazing how Jacob can bring me from cheerful to furious in less than ten seconds. "What do you want, Jacob Black?"

"That sounds about right. How dare I ring up my best friend and hope to catch up with her? I had been hoping that you might want to hang out with me, but I realise that was stupid. I won't disturb you any longer, Miss Swan."

As he'd hoped, I felt instantly guilty. "I'm sorry. I would like to see you, Jake. When were you thinking of?"

"This morning? Unless you have other things to do, other creatures of the night to see."

"This morning sounds great. Shall I come over and see you there?"

"Really?" Jacob's voice lit up instantly, "wow, Bells, that would be great! I was afraid that you wouldn't want to see me anymore, or that he wouldn't let you. Shall I see you soon?"

"Sure, sure. Let me get some breakfast and then I'll head over. Bye, Jake."

"Bye, Bells."

I poured myself a bowl of cereal and leaned against the kitchen counter to eat it. Then I went back upstairs and brushed my hair. I pulled it back into a quick pony tail and grabbed my purse and my keys. I was just about ready to leave the house, when there was a knock at the door.

It was a delivery guy with a big bunch of purple hyacinths and azaleas, and a little purple box tied with a silver ribbon. I went back into the house to put the flowers in water. There was no card, which didn't seem like Edward, so I opened the box, expecting to find something there.

Inside the box was a mobile phone, with a note attached. "I want to be able to tell you that I love you every minute of every day. Edward"

Instantly the phone rang. I sighed, but I answered it, "hello?" I was determined not to repeat this morning's mistake.

"You didn't know that it was me?"

Trust Edward to notice a tiny yet significant detail. "Um, I don't know. I just said hello. You don't need me to say 'Edward' every time I greet you, you already know who you are."

"You're going to see the dog this morning," he said.

"His name is Jake, and yes, I am going to see him this morning. But I'll see you this afternoon."

"Promise?"

"Doesn't Alice know? She must have told you that I was going to see Jake."

The anger in his voice was barely veiled now. "Once your future disappears, that's it. She can't see beyond the blank."

"Oh. Well, yes, I'll be over to see you this afternoon. I have to tell you off for sending me expensive flowers."

"If I sent you more flowers, would you come sooner?"

"No. I won't be home for more flowers. I'm going out right now."

"To see," there was a short hesitation, as if he had to steel himself to say it, "Jacob Black. Do you know how dangerous that is? Alice can't see you, you might get hurt."

"I like dangerous things. You can hardly complain about that aspect of my personality. Goodbye, Edward Cullen."

I don't know how annoyed I sounded, but Edward snapped back at me "we'll talk about this later." Then he paused for a breath, and finished in a more normal voice, with just a little bit of tiredness in the background, "I love you, Bella."

I tried to sound sincere when I told him that I loved him back. But really I was wondering how we could be so angry with each other already. We'd only just found each other again. We'd each thought that the other had died, how come we weren't blissful merely to be able to talk again? Why didn't we get a little bit of sheer bliss and joy in one another's presence before the relationship became spiky and complicated again? And what on earth did Edward have against Jake?

I got in the car and drove off to see Jake. I wasn't looking forward to seeing Edward. He'd said that 'we' would talk about me seeing Jake, but I knew what that meant. That meant that he would yell at me and I would have no choice but to give in. All that talking yesterday about how he shouldn't try to control me was pointless, it hadn't moved us any further forward at all. He still thought that he knew better and he was going to give me a lecture when I saw him next.

When I reached Jake's house, he came running out to meet me. He must have heard my truck coming down the road. Sometimes being surrounded by beings with super-hearing can make me feel a bit like a clumsy baby elephant. Even though Jacob is almost twice my size, he still looked graceful as he ran up to meet me. He tugged open my door and pulled me into a huge bear hug before I'd even undone my seatbelt.

"Wow, Jake, can't breathe!"

He eased up a little, undid my belt and lifted me out of the truck, "it's good to see you, Bells."

"What do you want to do now that I'm here?"

"Ah," he looked down at his feet and hmmed a bit, "sorry, Bells, but Sam was hoping that you'd meet up with him for a bit. He wants to talk about the vamps coming back."

"Oh, ok. I was hoping to hang out with just you." In something like an out-of-body experience, I found myself wondering why I wasn't annoyed with Jake for bringing me here so that I could talk to Sam. But, I wasn't annoyed.

Jake grinned hugely, he'd probably been expecting my anger too. "Sam won't take long, then you and I can have loads of time. When do you have to get home?"

"Some time this afternoon," I said, not correcting him. It would be easier for Jake to hear that I was leaving him to go home than it was for him to hear that I was leaving him to see Edward. I knew that Jake had been hoping to replace Edward, well in terms of a relationship with me, anyway. It wasn't going to be easy for him to watch Edward resume his normal place in my heart. I wished that Jake had someone that he loved like I loved Edward, then he would understand. I had no choice. But, Jake didn't love anyone like that, and so he thought that the feelings he had for me were it. He was going to have a surprise when he really did fall in love!

"Alright, let's deal with Sam first, and then we can relax."

He led me back into his house, and I saw Sam, waiting for us in the little front room.

"Um, hi Sam" it was pretty embarrassing to see Sam again, now that I was back with Edward. It didn't help that Sam was glaring at me. Of course, he had a good reason to hate the Cullens. They were sort of responsible for turning him into a wolf, breaking up his engagement and scarring his new fiancée's face. Now that I was Edward's girlfriend again, I was firmly back on the opposing team. I wished that Jake could have just asked me the questions himself and relayed the information back to Sam.

"Isabella," Sam said coldly, "I wanted to ask you a few questions. I hope that you will be able to be honest with me, for the sake of the innocent people of Forks and La Push."

I nodded, too scared to try and speak. This was Sam the Alpha and he was even more scary than Major Jasper Whitlock.

"Are the Cullen coven back for good?"

At least that one was easy, "yes, at least until Alice and Edward graduate."

"Do they know about the other one, the red head?"

"Yes." He was looking at me expectantly, so I felt that I ought to elaborate, "Edward had been trying to track her."

Sam looked confused, "is that what he told you?" Sam's anger melted and his face was filled with pity. "He hasn't been anywhere near La Push in months, not since that day he left you in the woods. We patrol out for miles and we've not come across his scent." Ugh, he pitied me and my blindness.

Now I was regretting giving him the extra information. It didn't make any sense, Sam thought that Edward had been lying to me. The only way to clear that up, was to admit Edward's lack of talent. Edward would not like Sam to know that. But, I couldn't stand the look on Sam's face, as though he thought that I was some silly, naïve girl, being taken for a ride, as though he thought that Edward lied to me! "He's not very good at tracking. He was in South America."

Jacob and Sam suddenly laughed. I felt a bit guilty for revealing Edward's weakness to them, but it was better than the alternative, wasn't it? Now that it was too late, I wondered if Edward would agree. Maybe he would have rather leave Sam thinking that he lied to me, than knowing that he had failed.

"He's awful at tracking, then," said Jacob, "do you know if the others are any better?"

I shook my head. "But, I don't think that you should be too pleased. They could certainly track you. Your scent is really strong to them. They don't like it much."

"Their scent is strong to us, too, it's part of being natural enemies," Sam explained, "what do they plan on doing about the red head?"

"I don't know. We were talking about something else. They were guarding me last night."

Sam glanced at Jacob and he nodded. He must have stopped by. I wondered why he hadn't given me any sign to show he was there. Exactly how many mythical creatures hung around in my backyard at night, anyway? It was starting to get a bit weird.

"Will you ask them for us?" Sam said to me.

"Sure, sure. I can call them now if you like. Edward will be home." I pulled my new mobile out of my pocket and dialled the number. I wondered, briefly, if it had any credit on it, then remembered that it was a gift from Edward, it would be on a contract.

Edward picked up on the first ring, "Bella?" he said, "are you alright? Has that dog hurt you?"

Jacob growled, but Sam put a hand on his arm to calm him.

"Don't be silly Edward. Jake," I emphasised his name to remind Edward that he was supposed to use it, "is right here and we're both fine. Sam's here as well and he wanted to discuss Victoria with you. He wants to know what you're planning on doing about her."

"Tell him that we've got it under control. He doesn't need to worry about her. She's our problem."

"Arrogant child," Sam snorted, "may I speak with him, Bella?"

I passed over the phone. Now I could hear only one half of the conversation, which was irritating, because Jake could obviously hear Edward perfectly well.

"I don't want to speak to you, boy. I want to speak to an adult member of your coven" was Sam's first remark. I winced, I didn't need to hear Edward to guess how he would react to that. Jacob laughed.

"Tell him that you want to speak to Jasper," I told Sam, hoping that would smooth things over.

"Jasper?" Sam asked me, I think that it was hard for him to think of the Cullens as having names.

"He's the second oldest. You can't speak to Carlisle right now because he'll be at work. But, Jasper was a Major in the army, you'll get on well with him."

Edward said something else and Sam snorted, "I'll tell Bella that you said that," he said, then he turned to me, "your vampire is annoyed that you're telling us personal details about his coven."

"Really?" Jake nodded to confirm that was the gist of what Edward had said. "We'll talk about that later," I said, knowing that Edward could hear me.

"Jasper?" Sam said again, this time into the phone, Edward must have passed it over, "what exactly is your plan for dealing with the red head?" He nodded a couple of times, but then he shook his head sharply and Jake growled. "That's not good enough," Sam said, "we want her hunted and now that you're back, we can't cross the boundary lines." He listened again, "yes, I would be open to a discussion, but I'm not making any promises." This time he nodded and smiled, "alright, the boundary line at midnight. How many will you bring?" There was a longer pause, as I guess the Cullens had a heated debate about who would be meeting up with the Pack. "Just bring any four of your coven and I'll bring four of my pack." Sam said, frustrated with the arguing, "yes, four including me. Until midnight, then." He passed me the phone, "I'm going to head off now. Your vampire wants to sign off with you," he told me.

He tossed me the phone and I, true to form, missed it.

Jake scooped it up before it hit the ground. As I took it from his hand, I heard a voice on the other end, "Bella?"

"Alice? Sam said it was Edward."

"No he didn't, he said it was 'your vampire'. I think that covers all of us. He should be more precise. I'm glad you're safe, Bella. I hate to have to ask this, but when do you plan on getting here? Edward's pacing a rut into the floor."

I looked at my watch, it was just past eleven. "It's still morning, Alice, I said that I'd be over some time this afternoon."

"Could you specify a time, Bella? He's irritating everyone."

"Fine, I'll be there at three."

I could hear Edward in the background, sighing that three o'clock was almost four hours away, but Alice said brightly, "thank you so much, Bella. I'll see you soon. Have fun with Sam and Jacob!"

"Bye, Alice." I hung up the phone and turned to Jake, "see," I told him, "Alice can call you by your proper names."

"Which one is Alice?"

"She's the one you met at Charlie's house, before I went to get Edward back from Italy."

"Oh, she's tiny and a bit over-active. I'll remember that. The tiny one is called Alice. You never did tell me what happened in Italy."

"It's a long story, can I have a drink or something while I tell you?"

"Sure, sure, there's coke in the garage." I followed Jake in, we sat down in his garage and drank coke. I told him all about Italy and he fiddled about with his car. He hated Jane as much as Edward did, though he muttered 'serves him right' when I told him about what she'd done to Edward. He spoke quietly, so I guessed that he didn't really intend me to hear him, and I didn't complain. Edward's own family were furious with him, so it was hardly surprising that Jacob was a bit cross.

"So, how many vampires are there?" Jacob asked, "it sounds like there are hundreds."

"I don't know. I'll ask Edward, if you like."

"Sure, sure. Look, Bells, can we try and just be us for a bit, and not spend all our time talking about vampires and werewolves?"

"I don't know, Jake. I don't think that there's anything else going on in my life at the moment. What about you, seen any good movies lately?"

"I haven't seen any movies since that awful one you dragged me to."

I laughed, it really had been a terrible movie. "Next time, you can pick."

"D'you mean that?" He grinned at me, "would you go out with me again?"

"No, not go out with you as in a date. You know that I don't like you that way, and Edward's back now, and I'm trying to make things work with him. But, I would love to go to the movies with you as friends."

"How about tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow's Monday, Jake. I'll be back at school. How about Friday?"

"Alright, Friday it is. But I get to pick the movie."

"Deal. Hey, why did you forget that school starts up again tomorrow? You're still going, aren't you?"

He grimaced "it just doesn't seem all that important anymore. I get tired and I get bored. I don't have much time or inclination for homework anymore. Most of my time I spend with the Pack and I'd rather spend my little free time sleeping, or having fun."

I didn't like the sound of that. Jake wasn't stupid, he shouldn't be dropping out and doing nothing at all. This whole werewolf thing was really messing things up for him. I could see what it had done to Sam: tying him to the reservation and making it impossible for him to make a life of his own. I couldn't stand seeing that happen to Jake. "We studied together last term. We could start doing that again if you like."

"That would be good, but wouldn't your vampire complain?"

"My vampire, Jake? Which one would that be?"

"You know," he grinned at me, "Alice's little brother."

I laughed at him, "alright," I said, "you can call him that. But, to answer your question, no he won't complain. He can't spend much time with me himself at the moment. Um . . . he'll be furious if he finds out that you know this, especially since I already told you about his lack of tracking skill, but he's grounded at the moment and he can't come round and see me."

Jacob laughed so much that he fell over, "I can't wait to see him tonight," he said, "he's the curly haired one, isn't he? Well, I guess I'll recognise him tonight, since he'll be the one holding his mummy's hand."

"Jake! Stop it! He's sort of seventeen and he's sort of 104. No part of him is a toddler. And, I don't want you to wind him up at the moment. He's got a bit of a temper and I'd hate for you to get hurt."

Whoops. I shouldn't have said that.

"Don't you think that you ought to be more worried about him getting hurt?" Jake scoffed at me, really angry and scornful now, not just kidding around, "isn't he the one you really care about?"

"Of course I care about him. I never made a secret of that. And I never led you on. I never said that we could ever be more than friends. If my friendship isn't enough for you, perhaps we should just stop trying."

Jake didn't even look at me, he stared at his feet and began tearing apart the can that his coke had been in. "We may as well give up now as later." He was dropping bits of coke can on the floor, torn into little squares, like bits of confetti.

"Fine, well it's nearly half two anyway, I'm going to get going. I'll see you around, Jacob."

"Sure, sure," he didn't offer to walk me to my truck, he just stood there in the garage, glaring at the metal confetti lying in the dust around his feet. Right then, he looked like the child that he was. All this nonsense with ages was getting confusing. Edward looked my age, was old enough to be my grandfather, and spent half of yesterday pouting like a toddler. Jacob was younger than me, looked older, and was currently sulking like a twelve-year old. Why couldn't anyone I knew just act their age? Why couldn't anyone I knew just pick an age and stick to it?

I wasn't angry anymore by the time I got back to my truck. But I thought that maybe Jacob was right. Maybe it was too hard for us to be friends anymore. I sighed, but I set off to drive back to the Cullens. Maybe the whole natural enemies thing was too strong for me. Maybe I couldn't straddle both sides. Maybe I had to choose one.

Arriving at the Cullens was odd. When I'd visited before, I'd usually arrived in the company of Edward or Alice. On the rare occasions that I'd transported myself, Edward had been waiting on the porch to greet me. This time I drove up the empty drive and walked up the the front door completely alone. It felt silly, knocking on the door, they must already know that I was here. I wondered if I had arrived too early. I'd told Alice that I would be here at three and it wasn't quite quarter to. Maybe they were out hunting. Maybe they weren't ready for me yet, but were busy doing some weird vampire thing.

I stood on the doorstep, wondering if I would be interrupting anything if I knocked. It hadn't been like this at Jake's. He'd come running up before I'd even got out of the car. Suddenly I felt tired and emotionally exhausted. Rushing from an argument with Jake to what I was sure was going to be an argument with Edward, suddenly seemed like a bad idea. How did I manage to complicate all of my relationships? Wasn't there anyone that I could just relax with? Maybe I would be better off on my own, reading a book.


	4. Chapter 4

On the other hand, I had promised Edward that I would be here. He was waiting for me and he would be disappointed if I turned around and went away. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

It opened instantly, and revealed Edward, looking nervous. "Will you come in?" he asked, stepping back to give me plenty of space.

I followed him into the lounge, and was surprised to see that we were the only occupants. "Will you sit down?" he asked me again. He still seemed nervous of me, as if he was expecting me to run away any minute.

"Were you standing in the hall waiting for me to knock on the door?"

"Yes, I heard you drive up. When you didn't knock, I thought that you might have changed your mind. I thought that you might not come in. Um . . . would you like something to eat or something to drink? Have you had lunch yet?"

It was three o'clock, but I hadn't eaten my lunch yet, I'd been so busy talking, and then arguing, with Jake, that I hadn't thought about food. It was odd that the friend who ate had forgotten to feed me, yet it was the first thing that occurred to my vampire boyfriend.

"Actually I haven't, but I'm not that hungry," I lied.

"That's a shame," Edward said, "Esme made you sandwiches, you know, just in case you were hungry. If you're not hungry, I guess that they'll go to waste."

"If there are sandwiches going to waste, then I'm sure that I could eat something."

"No, not if you're not hungry. You don't have to eat just to please me."

I smiled at him, he was teasing me. "I'm hungry, Edward, alright, Jacob didn't offer me anything to eat. You make a much better host. Now, can I have some lunch?"

He grinned that crooked grin that I liked and dashed off to fetch my lunch. The sandwiches were cut into triangles and arranged prettily on the plate, with a fussy salad on the side. There were spirals of carrot and stars cut out of cucumber. It looked like something a posh hotel would serve. Edward was obviously enjoying playing at being a waiter, he put the plate in front of me and poured me a glass of orange juice with a flourish, then he stood opposite me, watching me eat.

"Aren't you going to sit down?"

"I'm waiting for my dressing down," he said meekly, "you warned me that you were only coming here in order to give me a well-deserved scolding. So, I thought that I shouldn't get too comfortable."

"I'd forgotten about the flowers," I admitted.

Edward sighed, "that's quite a good punishment," he said, "I had hoped to make you happy. Being forgotten is painful."

"I didn't forget about you, only about the flowers. The phone is excessive."

"I bought it for my piece of mind, so it doesn't count as a gift," he argued, "besides which, you have already used it today, so it isn't a complete waste." He was surprisingly serious. He must have been genuinely worried about my reaction.

"You have to ask me before spending money on me."

"But, if I ask, then you tell me not to. Sometimes it's easy to ask forgiveness than permission." He stopped and seemed to worry that he might not be adequately repentant. "I'm sorry I made you cross" he added.

"You're not sorry enough to stop doing it."

"I'm sorry enough not to buy you another phone" Edward offered.

I sighed. It was annoying when Edward spent money on me, but the reality was that I was giving up on that battle. I was never going to win. If I could make him restrict himself to occasional, small gifts, then that was the best that I could hope to achieve.

"And no more flowers, either." I said firmly.

Edward's face fell, "but, I want to buy you lots of flowers. Can't I at least get flowers on special occasions? I'll be sparing with the flowers. That has to be enough. Please, Bella?" Of course Edward being Edward had noticed my reaction to his cute, hangdog expression yesterday; he produced it for me again now. Combined with his sweet 'please, Bella', he was invincible.

"Whatever you want, Edward," I said dazedly.

He grinned at me and knelt down in front of me so that he could kiss his way up my arm. "I love you, Bella," he said, "I want to buy beautiful flowers to show how beautiful you are. I want to buy fragrant flowers, because you're fragrant." He kissed along my collar bone and up my neck. "I want to express my love for you by sending you nice things. Let me buy you flowers and gifts. Let me love you, beautiful Bella." He placed a wonderful, cool kiss on the back of my neck.

I sighed in pleasure. "Oh, Edward. I love you. You can have anything you want."

He'd reached my face now, and he kissed along my jaw line and up my cheek "I'll buy you lots of flowers, my Bella," he assured me gently, before brushing a light, perfect kiss across my lips.

"Oh, good, thank you, Edward." Then he wasn't kissing me anymore, he was sitting back on his heels laughing at me. "That's not fair," I told him.

He shrugged, "I agreed not to buy you another phone, but you can't be so cruel as to stop me buying you flowers. If you're cruel to me, I don't have to be fair. I have to defend myself."

"Your power only works when you're actually kissing me," I told him, "I can be angry with you as soon as you stop."

"That's easily solved," he leant forward again to give me a long, lingering kiss on the lips.

"That is very, very nice," I told him, trying not to be disappointed that he'd stopped. I knew that he had to stop kissing me. He always had to stop kissing me.

"Can we talk about the other thing, while I'm still ahead?" he asked.

"What other thing?"

Edward sighed, "I'm only bringing this up because I don't want you to remember it when I'm not around and get cross without being able to take it out on me. I'd rather be in trouble now, than risk your avoiding me later. When I was on the phone with that mutt I said something that made you angry and you said that we would talk about it later."

"What exactly did you say to Sam?"

"I wasn't talking to the dog, I was talking to Jasper and I said, 'Bella's not only meeting with the dogs, she's spying on us for them', um, I know that wasn't a very nice thing to say. Should I start grovelling now?"

He deserved to suffer a little bit before I let him off the hook. So, instead of telling him that he didn't ever need to grovel for my forgiveness, I said "I don't think that you know how to grovel, Edward. It doesn't sound like a very Edwardian thing to do."

"Really? I thought that I spent most of yesterday grovelling."

"You spent most of yesterday sulking" I corrected sternly. "I don't want you to tease me or kiss me, Edward. I want you to answer a few questions honestly. Alright?"

His eyes opened widely, but he nodded.

"Why did you say something mean about me to Jasper?"

"I don't have very good control of my temper. I was angry because I thought that you were choosing to side with the . . . with Sam and Jacob against me and my family. I was hurt that you went to see Jacob Black rather than coming to see me. I was worried that the only reason you came here yesterday was in order to gain information about us that you could pass on to them. So, I snapped and said something disrespectful about you. Can I say how sorry I am and how much I wish I could take it back?"

"I have another question." Edward swallowed nervously. I didn't even know that vampires did that. Still, I guess this was the first time that I'd made a vampire nervous. Emmett had been right: I had changed while they'd been away. I was more confident now and I was going to make Edward see me as his equal. "Have you said that kind of thing about me behind my back before?"

He grimaced and looked down at the floor. "Do you need anything else to eat or drink?" he muttered.

"I want you to answer my question."

"Rose and Emmett are coming downstairs" he said into the floor again.

"I don't care. Your entire family have heard every word that we've said since I got here. It doesn't make any real difference whether they're in the same room as us or not. Stop stalling and answer my question."

The door opened and Rosalie and Emmett walked in. Emmett was carrying a huge wooden chest, which he set down triumphantly in the middle of the room. Rosalie began moving sofas and chairs around to clear a big space in the centre of the room. I wanted to ask them what was going on, but I wanted even more to finish this conversation with Edward, so I turned back to him.

"I'm going to answer," he said quickly, before I could prompt him again, "I'm working out how to say this. When I first came into contact with you, I didn't know anything about you except that I couldn't control myself around you, and I wasn't very nice about you in my mind or in the things that I said to my family. I'm truly sorry for every disrespectful thought that I have ever had about you. Please don't get up and leave me."

"You're the one who left, Edward. I never left. I ought to have abandonment issues, not you. For heaven's sake, every time I say anything even slightly critical, you start begging me not to leave you. It looks as though you don't trust me." I reached over for his hands and he let me take them and hold them inside mine. I held his gaze as well, as I said "listen, I will not leave you, ever, but I would like it if you could stop assuming that I'm constantly on the verge of walking out."

He visibly relaxed. "I'm sorry for seeming to doubt you. I just worry that when you realise what I'm actually like, you'll have to run away. Yesterday you were surprised to hear that there was anything I couldn't do. I worry that you only love Perfect Edward and that if you knew how imperfect and unpleasant I really am, you would want nothing to do with me."

"Please try to give me some credit," I said. It was getting difficult to concentrate on our conversation, because Rosalie and Emmett, in their plan of rearranging the furniture, had picked up the sofa on which we were sitting. As I talked, they carried it across the room, put it down, walked around frowning, then picked it up and moved it over to a different position. Determinedly, I got out most of what I wanted to say, before I gave up, and stopped trying to have this serious chat with my overly-emotional teenage vampire. "I do know a little bit about you by now. I have actually noticed your temper before. I am painfully aware of your over-confidence in your own opinions and of your habit of running away when things get emotionally tough. I do know you, Edward, and I still love you and I still want to be with you. Now, you have to tell me what Rosalie and Emmett are doing, because I just can't pretend to ignore it anymore!"

"Ask them" he responded curtly, obviously annoyed that his siblings had effectively ended our conversation.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Emmett grinned at me, "we're setting up the living room to make a stage-area so that we can all show off our amazing juggling skills. You're going to be really impressed, Bella. Well, you're going to be really impressed by most of us. There is one member of the family who can't be bothered to learn to juggle and can't even manage a simple toss juggle with three balls." He shook his head sorrowfully, "but that's ok, because there's enough of us to make an impressive display." Finally happy with the space that they'd created, Emmett opened the chest and he and Rosalie began rifling through it, choosing their implements.

"You can't juggle," I reminded Edward, it was one of the first items on the list that his siblings had created for me yesterday. He frowned at my bringing it back up again. "I can't juggle either," I comforted him, "we'll just have to cuddle up and watch the show together."

Edward put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close, "I'm starting to enjoy not being able to do things" he said.

While we'd been talking, Alice and Jasper had slipped into the room and joined Emmett and Rosalie at the juggling chest. They were all conducting a whispered conversation about who was going to stand where and who was going to do what. They were giggling and pointing and gesturing wildly, which was unusual.

I looked quizzically at Edward. "They're excited to have an audience," he explained, "due to the absolute necessity of protecting our secret, they've never been able to perform before. Apparently, I'm not a very discerning spectator. Alice says that you're going to be a lot more appreciative."

"Alright, pay attention, the show's about to start," Alice stage-whispered to us.

I looked over at Edward's siblings and noticed that they were all stood in a loose square formation, each holding four brightly coloured balls in their hands. Emmett winked at me and they all began to juggle. It was a beautiful sight, all four of them tossing and catching their juggling balls. Rosalie had pink, Alice yellow, Jasper green and Emmett blue. They had dressed up for the occasion and were all wearing shirts that matched the colour of their chosen balls.

Edward whispered in my ear "they couldn't agree on who got to begin the show, so they're going to start with a joint effort."

Suddenly Alice grinned broadly and threw one of her yellow balls to Jasper. He smirked and juggled five balls for a moment, before tossing one of his green balls over to her in exchange. They performed the whole thing without a hitch.

I gasped and clapped. I saw everyone turn to look at me in surprise (though none of them dropped a single ball). So I stopped clapping instantly and said to Edward, "is that distracting?"

He laughed at me, "no, that won't distract them. They're surprised you clapped because they haven't started trying to impress you yet. Keep reacting that enthusiastically and everyone will be thrilled."

As if to emphasise his point, Rosalie and Emmett did a quick ball-swap of their own, letting their balls cross each other in the middle of the square.

I gasped again, but I didn't get a chance to clap because they had obviously decided that now was the moment to ramp up the skills. Jasper threw one green ball to Rosalie and one to Emmett. Emmett threw one of his blue balls to Alice, whilst catching the green ball from Jasper. Rosalie did the same, tossing Alice a pink ball and catching a green. Alice caught both balls and proceeded to juggle all six, before throwing two pink balls over to Rosalie, who caught them and passed one on to Emmett, whilst at the same time switching his green ball with Jasper's green ball.

Now they were all juggling one ball of each colour. There was a brief pause and I clapped enthusiastically. Then they all tossed their blue balls into the centre at once, the balls bounced off each other and returned to the people who threw them. That deserved a real round of applause, but I was too shocked to clap, I just gasped and said "Wow, Edward, did you see that?"

He laughed at me, "it was very good," he said, "though Rosalie threw slightly wide and Alice had to compensate."

"Don't smack him, Bella," Alice called out, "we want to finish the show here, not in the emergency room while you get your broken hand treated."

I frowned, I had been about to hit Edward, I made do with hissing, "you can't juggle at all, you certainly don't have any right to criticise."

Edward laughed again and said, "I'm sure that Rose will get her revenge."

As if in retaliation to Edward's dismissive reaction, they doubled the trick this time, tossing the green balls and the yellow balls into the centre to bounce against each other. The green balls met slightly lower than the yellow ones, producing (for the instant that they hit) a flower-like effect. This time I was almost expecting it, and I was able to clap, "amazing!" I said.

It was obviously time for the finale of this bit of the show, so they all began to juggle faster and to juggle across one another. Jasper and Alice were juggling together and Emmett and Rosalie were juggling together. Then Rosalie was juggling with Alice and with Emmett and Jasper was Juggling with Emmett and with Alice. Then Alice was also juggling with Emmett and Jasper with Rosalie and balls were flying over and under and around the square in every direction, so fast that I couldn't see who was throwing what. The balls blurred into ribbons of colour joining the performers together.

I was absolutely speechless, with my jaw hanging open. Then, the colours began to define into single ribbons of pink, yellow, blue and green and they were all back with their original holders. They stopped juggling with each other and instead each seemed to be spinning a circle of a single colour around their hands. They gradually slowed down until they were all just juggling the same four single-coloured balls as they had been at the beginning. Then, they all, at one instant, stopped, and gave me and Edward a neat bow.

I clapped and clapped, "that was incredible, you're amazing, wow!" I said, "I've never seen anything like that. It was so brilliant and it looked so beautiful."

They all grinned at me, then looked over at Edward. He shrugged, "it was alright," he said, "almost faultless. But it made Bella very happy." Jasper nodded cheerfully, I wondered if my happiness was affecting him, or if his was affecting me.

"It's not over yet," Edward told me, "now Emmett is going to demonstrate juggling as many balls as he can. In order to get you properly impressed, I'm going to tell you that the record is twelve, and that's only catching each ball once. For sustained juggling, the record is only ten. Emmett will start off slowly so that you can count how many he's got."

Emmett began juggling with his four balls from before. Rosalie tossed him one of hers. Then Alice did, and then Jasper. Now Emmett was juggling seven balls at once. I started to clap again, but Emmett shook his head at me, "Edward told you the world record, don't you realise that I'm going to beat it?"

I laughed and stopped clapping. Jasper tossed over another ball, so now Emmett had eight in hand. Then Rosalie and Alice threw him one each. "Hey!" Emmett protested, "I thought that we agreed one at a time!"

Edward laughed and told me that Emmett had almost dropped them, but I hadn't noticed that myself, he must have regained his balance too quickly for me to see.

"That's the record," I whispered to Edward, "can I clap yet?"

He smirked and shook his head. Emmett grinned widely, of course he'd heard me whispering, it was pretty pointless in the Cullen house, unless it was one of the vampires trying to talk without my over-hearing them. This time Rosalie and Alice threw their balls in one at a time, followed, after a short pause, by Jasper.

"Wow! I said, that's thirteen."

Rosalie smiled at me, she liked me being impressed by her Emmett, "nearly there," she said, "if he can catch this one, then you can applaud, Bella."

She tossed Emmett one more ball and even I saw the slight wobble, I held my breath, but Emmett recovered and he juggled all fourteen balls! I clapped as hard as I could, until Edward said, "Bella, you'll hurt yourself," disapprovingly, "you have to remember to breathe and not to clap so hard that you injure your hands."

"But, that's amazing! Look at what Emmett's doing!"

"Fine," Edward sighed, "I'll clap and then you won't hurt yourself." He, of course, clapped much more loudly than I could, without making any effort at all. So I slowed down. The others all laughed delightedly.

Then Emmett began to throw the balls back to the people who'd given them to him.

When he was juggling the original four again, he said, "here, Eddie, catch" and threw one straight at us.

Edward hissed, but he caught it easily. "If you can just do that a few hundred more times, you'll be juggling, Eddie," Emmett teased.

"That's not funny," Edward said, "if you're going to throw things anywhere near Bella, I'm going to take her out of the room. I won't let you endanger her."

"He's right, Emmett," Jasper said, "you mustn't trust in Edward's catching ability to protect Bella. This isn't his forte." Jasper had gone to stand in the centre of the space, where Emmett had been, the other three were standing beside the open chest, whispering to each other again.

"Huh," Edward snorted, "now Jasper is going to show you his party piece. Emmett can juggle lots of balls at once, but Jasper can juggle almost anything."

"But, Edward won't let me try it with you," Jasper said, "which is a shame, because juggling humans is always impressive."

"If you wanted a human to juggle," Edward told him, "you should have brought your own. Bella's not moving from my side."

Jasper was holding three clubs in his left hand and he began to toss them casually into the air. He was juggling in a lazy, slow way making it look as though he wasn't really thinking about it at all.

He didn't even look up as Alice threw a frisbee at him, he just plucked it from the air and continued with his slow, easy manner. Rosalie tossed him a plate next and he responded by throwing one of his clubs back at her, but he kept that calm serene smile on his face.

Emmett threw over a big glass jug and Alice a bowl. Jasper juggled on for a bit, then threw his last two clubs back at them. He tossed the frisbee over to Rosalie and stood there juggling a plate, a bowl and a jug. It was amazing. Jasper made all these things look as though they were just floating in the air, as though he wasn't tossing them and catching them, he was merely guiding their perfect orbit.

He looked over at Alice now and grinned wickedly before throwing the plate at her head. Alice caught it neatly and giggled at him. Then she reached into the chest and took out a bunch of flowers, tied with a pretty ribbon. She threw it to Jasper, who caught it easily. He threw back the bowl, and Rosalie tossed him a vase instead. Jasper juggled the flowers, the vase and the jug. Then he frowned theatrically and threw the jug over to Emmett.

Emmett caught the jug, laughed and replaced it with a bottle of water. So now Jasper was juggling flowers, a vase and a bottle of water. That seemed like the perfect combination, so I laughed and clapped.

Edward whispered to me, "watch this closely, I don't know if he can do it slowly enough for you to see properly."

So I watched intently. Edward was right, I wasn't absolutely sure how he did it, but one moment, Jasper was juggling a vase, a bunch of flowers and a bottle of water and the next moment, the bottle of water was in the air and open, pouring its contents into the vase, that Jasper held still in his right hand. Then the flowers, which had been in the air, over the bottle, landed in the vase and he snatched the empty bottle out of the air. He handed the vase of flowers to Alice with a low bow.

"Wow!" I said again. I was not full of sparkling conversation this evening. I felt Edward's hands around my wrists, stopping me from hitting them together.

"Gently," he said to me, "please?"

He was so overprotective. I don't think that there has ever been another boyfriend who was concerned that clapping too hard could cause serious damage. I frowned at him until he released me. Then I clapped as hard as I could, which Jasper seemed rather pleased by.

"The final act," Edward told me, emphasising 'final' as a message to his siblings, "is a double act. Alice and Rose are going to do something with clubs, but they're going to keep them a long way away from you."

The only one who had thrown anything anywhere near me was Emmett, so I wasn't sure why Edward was making a point of warning his sisters not to involve me in their act.

"Tut, tut, Edward," said Rosalie, lifting the clubs out of the chest "you heard perfectly well what we were going to do, and we said that we wanted Bella to come and help us. We didn't say that we were going to stay away from her."

"Come on, Bella," Alice added, "this is a Cullen Girls Spectacular, you have to be a part of it."

"I can't do anything," I told her, "I don't want to ruin the show, Alice."

"You won't ruin it," Alice said, "trust me, it'll be perfect." She grabbed my hand to pull me from the couch, but Edward looped his arm around my waist and held me tight.

"Let her see what you plan on doing, before you invite her to get involved," he ordered Alice.

She looked over at Rosalie and nodded. So Edward held me tightly and his sisters set up their show-piece.

They stood opposite each other, holding three clubs each. Then they began to throw them one to another. They bounced them on the floor and caught them, they span round on the spot between throwing and catching. They tossed the clubs over-arm, under-arm, through their legs, over their heads, and span them round their waists. Then they began to dance. They kept throwing the clubs between themselves, but they moved as they did it, spinning round in a circle, dancing towards each other and then away. Wherever Rosalie went, Alice threw the clubs towards her. Wherever Alice went, Rosalie tossed the clubs for her to catch.

It was different to either of the boys' performances. It was more like a dance, the clubs almost seemed incidental, most of the beauty was from the way that Alice and Rosalie were moving. Gracefully, they span to a halt. Then Alice ran back to my side. "Will you help us?" she asked, "it'll be perfect!"

"I definitely can't do that," I said, "you're both amazing dancers as well as brilliant at juggling. I can't do either of those things."

"All you have to do is stand there," Rosalie said, "you'll be fine."

Edward was still holding on to me, "just tell me what you're planning," he said, "I don't like you wanting to do something with Bella and blocking your thoughts so that I can't see what's going on."

"You just saw," Alice protested, "you even saw that there was a safe space for her to stand."

Edward groaned, "there must be more to it," he said, "or you would let me see your vision."

"Bella wants to help us," Rosalie told him, "you've got to stop being so controlling, Edward."

"Come on, Edward," I said, "just let me go."

As soon as I asked him, Edward let go of me. Alice dragged me up and stood me in the centre of the stage. She returned to her starting position for the dance.

The next thing I knew, Edward was growling and I realised that this time, Alice and Rosalie were juggling with fire. They had lit their clubs and they were proceeding to toss them over my head, and around my middle.

As they danced, the fire streaked around me. I stood as still as I possibly could, terrified that the slightest movement would result in third-degree burns. Alice and Rosalie's dance had looked beautiful from where I'd been sitting with Edward, but the view from where I was now was even better. I wasn't just observing the dance, I felt as though I was in it. I felt the cool wind as the clubs flew past me, and the warm fire as they reached me. I could hear the crackling fire and the whistling flight of the clubs. I could see the intricate steps of Alice and Rosalie's dances, which complimented each other perfectly. They moved faster and faster and they threw faster and faster. It was like being surrounded by a wall of fire.

"Oh!" I gasped out, once more demonstrating my extensive vocabulary, "it's so beautiful!"

Slowly the dancing wound down, I could see Alice and Rosalie again and I could see the clubs gliding through the air. At last, they reached the end, they tossed their clubs to one side, where Emmett caught them and put out the fire. Then they ran up to me and grabbed my hands in theirs.

"Wasn't that fun, Bella?" Alice asked.

"It was amazing!" I said.

Rosalie grinned, "and you're glad that Edward didn't stop you?"

"Definitely."

Edward came up then, wrapped his arms around me and span me round in the air. "I'm so glad you're safe," he said, "that was terrifying."

"You liked how pretty she looked," Jasper reminded him.

"Maybe a little," Edward admitted grudgingly, "but I always like how Bella looks and I'm happiest when she's a long way away from anything that might hurt her."

"You're all amazingly talented," I said, looking around and Edward's family. "When on earth did you learn to do all that?"

"We've been around a long time," Jasper explained, "we have to do something to keep ourselves entertained. We went to a circus once – we were testing my control around large groups, before I tried attending school for the first time – we saw some jugglers and we thought that we could do a better job. It turns out that we were right."

"They don't get to show off a lot," Edward told me, "so you shouldn't encourage them too much, or you'll have to attend every performance."

"We'll put some new things in before we show you again," said Alice.

"You'll be able to join in properly soon," Emmett said, "you three girls could do a group show."

"Unless I carry my clumsiness through to my life as a vampire," I said.

They all laughed at the idea of me as a beautiful, super-strong clumsy vampire.

"Perhaps that will be your special talent," Emmett said, "you could trip over and confuse anyone who tried to attack you. Nobody expects Bella the Clumsy Vampire!"

"It's time for Bella to go home," Jasper said, "we have to arrange how we're going to distribute the family tonight. If four of us meet with the wolves, that only leaves one person to guard Bella and one to guard Edward. That's not really ideal in either case."

"I should meet with the wolves," Edward said, "you may need me. That would leave three people available to guard Bella."

Jasper shook his head, "you're not leaving the house, and you're definitely not meeting the wolves. You've not regained full control of yourself yet."

"We could keep Bella here," Alice said, "if I call Charlie and ask, he won't mind Bella spending the night having a sleepover with me. Then we can guard Bella and Edward together."

"In the same house," Rosalie corrected, "they don't have to be 'together' all night long."

I sneaked a glance at Edward and was pleased to see that his face lit up as brightly as mine did. I'd really missed his arms holding me at night. For eight months I'd thought that I would never feel his arms around me again. Now with this new arrangement, I could only see him for a short time every day. An extra night together would be wonderful.

"I'll call Carlisle," Jasper said "if he agrees, then we'll ask Charlie to let us keep Bella tonight."

Jasper and Alice went out to make their phone calls, while Emmett and Rosalie sat down with a couple of packs of cards and began a game in voices too low for me to hear. Edward and I settled back down on our sofa.

"There was one last thing that I wanted to talk to you about," Edward said. "I'm worried about you spending time with Jacob Black, and I don't want you to see him anymore."

Last time I saw Jacob, I had pretty much told him that I didn't want to see him again, but I wasn't sure that I would be sticking to that. Besides, I didn't want Edward to think that he could come back into my life and start telling me what to do.

"Werewolves are dangerous," he continued, "they're not in control of themselves. Jacob could easily hurt you, even without meaning to."

"So could you," I reminded him, "and of the two of you, you're the only one who ever _has _hurt me. Perhaps I should be more wary of you than of Jacob."

He growled at me, "this isn't a joke, Bella. This is serious. I don't mind you being assertive over silly things like flowers and cell phones, but you can't take a stand on something like this. I know that you don't like it when I say that I know better, but in this case you have to accept that I do. I know what werewolves are like, and you don't. I know how dangerous Jacob Black could be to you, and you don't. I know better and I say that you can't see him again."

I stared at him in shock and I heard both Emmett and Rosalie say, at exactly the same time, 'you are such an idiot, Edward'.

Alice came running back into the room, "you have to stay, Bella," she said, "we'll put Edward in the basement if you like, but I just got off the phone to Charlie and he will think something very strange is going on if you turn around and go back home now. Don't you want Charlie to trust me?"

"Of course I want Charlie to trust you, and I'm not going to go home. Why did you think I was? I didn't even consider it."

Alice pulled back and thought for a second, "no," she agreed, "you didn't consider it. But, I would have done. Jazz is way older than me, but he knows better than to boss me around like that. I wouldn't stand for it."

"I want to stay here and talk it through with Edward," I told her, "you can all relax. I'm not going to leave and he's not going to hurt me. We can handle a disagreement."

Alice sighed, "he's not going to hurt Bella," she told her family, "and Bella isn't going to go home, she's absolutely right."

"Then we should let them have this conversation in peace," Jasper said.

Alice laughed, "alright" she agreed, "I'll stop interfering. Sorry, Bella."

"Am I allowed to interfere?" Rosalie asked, "someone ought to give Edward a clip round the ear."

"Nobody is hitting anybody else," Esme called out. She quickly followed her voice into the room. "I'm going to make Bella some dinner, you rascals can play something quietly and let Bella and Edward talk to each other, without jumping into the middle of things. Would you like pasta, Bella dear?"

"I can make something myself," I said.

"Oh, I know. But I'd really like to do it. It's so nice to have a guest." Esme smiled at me and at Edward as she drifted back out of the room.

"Right," I said, turning back to my slightly confused looking boyfriend, "where were we?"

"I'd just said: I know what werewolves are like, and you don't. I know how dangerous Jacob Black could be to you, and you don't. I know better and I say that you can't see him again."

It wasn't such a shock this time, in fact it made me laugh. A human would have used the break in our conversation to amend what they'd said and tone it down into something more acceptable. Edward just repeated the exact statement that he had made beforehand.

"What is it that you think gives you the right to order me around?" I asked him.

He was confused again, "exactly what I just told you: my superior knowledge and greater experience in this matter."

"You've met werewolves before, Edward, but I know Jacob. I know that he wouldn't hurt me."

He shook his head fervently, "you may know that he wouldn't hurt you deliberately. Fair enough, your greater knowledge of his character can be of service to you there. But, werewolves can hurt the people they love completely accidentally. If he phased when he was standing too close to you, Bella, he could seriously hurt you, without meaning to at all. I've seen it happen." When Edward said that, I remembered Emily's face. I remembered how frightening it had been when I had witnessed Jake phasing as he leapt towards Paul and I winced. There was a pause, as Edward noted the change in my expression, and he said, "you've seen something like that too, haven't you?"

I nodded dumbly.

"Have you seen him phase? Has he already done that around you?"

I felt defensive of Jacob all of a sudden. It was unpleasant to hear Edward sound so shocked and so angry. I didn't want to look at him, I looked at my hands and muttered my answer, feeling as though I was admitting to something shameful. "Only once, and there was a reason."

"Bella, you could have been killed! You must never see that Jacob Black again." He put his hands either side of my face and forced me to look into his eyes, "do you understand me, Bella? You must never, ever see Jacob Black again."

I tried to escape his grip, but his hands were like rock. Usually Edward noticed when I was trying to move some part of him and he complied with my wishes. I didn't remember him ever holding me against my will before, it was frightening. It was so easy for him to stop me from moving. I could feel how easily he could hurt me, or even kill me. I froze.

Edward must have noticed my fear, or heard it from Jasper, because he let go instantly. "I'm sorry if I scared you, Bella. But, that's what you don't seem to realise: I'm dangerous and I've have years to build up my self-control. Jacob Black is almost at strong as I am and he's barely realising what he can do, he's nowhere near ready to control himself yet."

"I don't like you ordering me around" I repeated. Though it sounded like a pretty lame argument, even to me. Here was Edward warning me that something might be deadly, and I could only complain that I didn't like to take orders.

It must have sounded pretty lame to Edward as well because he smirked at me, "I'll beg if you would prefer," he said, "if you would feel more in control of our relationship, I'll get on my knees and beg you not to see him again."

"That isn't what I meant. That's just ordering me about in a different tone of voice. I want you to accept my ability to make my own decisions. I chose to be with you, even though you're dangerous, and now we're utterly happy together. Aren't you glad that I ignored your safety advice, then?"

"I was right," he said stiffly, "I told you that being around me was dangerous to you, and look what's happened so far: you were almost killed in Phoenix, you were almost killed in Italy and now there's a bereaved vampire looking to revenge her mate's death by killing you. You're not safe now that you're with me. Of course I'm glad to have you – selfish monster that I am – but I can't agree that your endangering your life was a great decision."

I knelt up so that I could kiss his furrowed forehead. "I _almost_ died," I told him, "I haven't actually died yet. And soon Carlisle will turn me and then I'll be much less fragile and we'll live happily ever after. My point is, that it was my decision – which you were very much against – that brought us to the brink of our happily ever after. You ought to trust my decisions a bit more."

He held me to his chest and shook. Pulling me close against himself, so that I could feel his gasping breaths as well as hear them, he buried his head in my hair. We sat like that for a bit: me still and quiet, Edward shaking and clinging to me as if he was afraid that I was going to be snatched away at any moment. Then he began to talk again, quietly, in broken snatches, that seemed to be hard for him to say. "I'm scared to lose you. My beautiful, fragile Bella. I don't want you to be hurt. Nothing, nothing has ever mattered this much to me. I can't stand to remember your pain, your suffering, your danger. Please, be safe. I'm so scared."

I wriggled a bit and he gradually let me move my arms out of his vice-like hold, so that I could reach up and stroke his cheek. "I am safe," I told him, "I'm here with you and I'm safe. You're not going to lose me. Don't think about the other times. Don't be sad. Don't be scared. I'm here, right now."

"Your decisions always seem to lead you into more danger," he said softly, "you decided to go and find James alone. You decided to jump off a cliff during a storm and almost drowned. You decided to come to Italy and face down the Volturi. You make dangerous choices that scare me. If we're going to be equals, you have to protect me sometimes. Please don't do things that scare me."

This was much more painful than seeing him shout at me. I was afraid to see Edward frightened and shaking. This was the second time in two days that I'd found myself soothing him and assuring him that everything was going to be ok. I wondered if the new confident Bella was too much for Edward, maybe I'd broken him. Maybe I should go back to the old, shy Bella who did whatever Edward said and didn't initiate physical contact.

"It's ok," I told him, running my fingers through his hair, "everything will be fine. I don't want you to be scared. I'll try and take care of myself. You don't need to worry anymore. Hush now, hush now."

"You'll stop seeing Jacob?" he asked me, still pressing his cheek against my head so that I couldn't see his face.

"I'll stop seeing Jacob," I agreed, with a defeated sigh.

"I love you, Bella. I'm sorry that I'm so pathetic. I just came so close to losing you once too often and I can't stand the idea of putting you at risk ever again. I want to be with you all the time, guarding you, but my family won't let me, and I get so worried when I can't see you."

"It's going to be alright," I told him again. I turned my face up to meet his, and he pressed his lips to mine, kissing me as though he needed me to breathe. Always too soon, he pulled away from me.

I looked up to see Esme holding a tray and smiling wryly. "You'll have to get off Bella, Edward, she needs her mouth now so that she can eat her dinner."

I blushed bright red and Edward peeled himself off me, muttering some apology to Esme that I couldn't hear. Esme settled the tray on my lap and Edward curled up on the floor by my feet, so that he could lean his head against my leg whilst I ate.

The pasta was great, of course, I wondered how Esme managed to be so good without ever tasting what she was cooking. She lit up when I complimented her cooking and assured me that there was plenty more. The Cullens found it difficult to work out how much they ought to feed me at a sitting. That made sense, really, one meal for them was an entire lion or a bear, no wonder they were surprised that a little plate of pasta would sustain me.

I had finished my pasta and was just polishing off the panetonne that Esme made me for dessert, when Carlisle came home. I guessed that he had pulled up outside because the card game stopped and Esme ran out into the hallway. Alice took away my empty plate and Edward put his head on my now empty lap. This new, vulnerable Edward was rather sweet, when he wasn't desperate for reassurance; he settled his head on my lap and I stroked his hair gently, listening to his soft sigh of pleasure. It was one of those moments of absolute peace that sometimes follows a messy row.

"It's good to see you, Bella," Carlisle said, walking in, "and it's nice to see Edward looking a bit calmer."

Emmett and Rosalie had rearranged the furniture again, so that the whole family could sit in a semi-circle. All the couples settled down, leaning against each other comfortably.

"So," Carlisle began, "four of us are going to meet with the wolves. Who should go?"

"You and me," said Jasper, "definitely. I spoke to them this morning, and you made the treaty with them years ago."

"I still think that you should take me," Edward argued, "you need to know what they're thinking."

"I've managed plenty of negotiations in the past without having a mind-reader by my side," Jasper responded. I felt Edward stiffen against my leg, he didn't like Jasper dismissing his usefulness so flippantly. "I think that there's still a risk of you attacking the Black child, and we don't want to start a war."

"You should stay here and take care of Bella," Esme told Edward, more gently, trying to help him make peace with being left behind. I let my fingers trail down his cheek and felt him lean back in against me.

"There is a risk that this will turn into a fight, even without Eddie's help," Emmett said, "which makes me useful."

"I want to go with you," said Rosalie, "however small the risk, if there's a fight I want to be by your side, Em."

"And I want to be with Jasper," Alice pointed out.

"I'm stronger," said Rosalie.

"And I can see the future."

"But not when the wolves are around," Rosalie pressed, "which makes that a moot point."

"That's not what I meant" Alice responded, "I can see that I'm going to go with the boys."

"Why would that be, Alice?" Carlisle asked, "we don't doubt your visions, but we're not going to leapfrog over the discussion."

Alice pouted and Jasper chuckled at her expression, "be patient, darlin', I'm sure that you'll get your way soon. You always do."

"We're not only considering who'll be meeting the wolves," Esme said, "we're also talking about who'll be here with Edward and Bella."

There were serious nods all around and I bent down to give Edward a kiss on the cheek. I didn't want him to be upset again at his family's lack of faith.

"He's not disobeyed you since the night he got back from Italy," Carlisle said to Esme, "I think that you have more sway over him than I do when he gets upset."

"I'm right here," Edward muttered, "and I'll behave myself tonight. You don't need to worry about me."

Rosalie laughed suddenly, "I see," she said, "this is where we replay the argument from before. Someone has to help keep an eye on Edward and Alice would be able to see what he was about to do, but she might not stop him. I'm stronger and I'm determined not to let him hurt Bella in any way. So I stay behind and watch him."

"I wouldn't let him hurt Bella," Alice said, "it's just the stronger thing. You and Esme would be able to restrain him until the rest of us got back."

"If you hurt my wife," Emmett said, suddenly realising what the evening's plans would mean, "I will destroy something that you love."

There were a lot of gasps, but Edward only laughed. I leant back from Emmett, as deep as I could get into the cushions of the sofa. I didn't think that Edward would hurt Rosalie, but it was still a terrifying threat.

"He means the cars," Edward told everyone else, "he's threatening my innocent Volvo." He sighed. "It isn't necessary, Emmett, I really am in control of myself and I care about Rose. Even that night, I didn't hurt Rose, did I? I was only trying to get to Bella, I wasn't trying to hurt anyone."

Emmett shook his head. "You didn't attack the girls," he agreed.

"Is that settled?" Carlisle asked, "I'll go with Jasper and Emmett and Alice. Esme will stay with Rosalie and Edward and Bella."

Everyone nodded. "Alright, that's that, those of us who are going will meet in the hall at half past eleven. We don't want to keep the wolves waiting."

The family meeting melted away. Rosalie and Emmett disappeared back upstairs, Carlisle and Esme slipped out to have a bit of privacy. Alice and Jasper curled up on the sofa opposite Edward and myself.

"So, we're all back at school tomorrow," Alice said cheerfully.

I sighed, but Edward did look genuinely pleased, and Jasper smiled.

"Am I the only person here with a normal attitude towards school?" I asked angrily.

"You're the only one of us four who isn't excited about going back tomorrow" Alice said, "Jasper's going to be working in the Library and we're going to have a lot of fun! He's never worked in a school while I was attending before. I think it's going to be pretty entertaining. Maybe you should try it after you're changed. Edward can pass for fifteen, when he tries, and you could easily be in your early twenties. You could take one of his classes, I think that you'd enjoy that!"

Edward shifted uncomfortably next to me. I hoped he wasn't regretting how old I already looked. At least I was going to be changed soon, and then I would stop getting older. "Well, I'm not attempting to teach you yet" I told him. "So, why are you pleased to be going back?"

"You're going to be there," he said, "I'll be around you all day and you won't have to go home. I'm looking forward to spending some time with you."

"Well, that part of it might be kind of nice," I admitted, "I'm looking forward to spending time with you too."

"What are you going to wear tomorrow?" Alice asked me.

"Oh, I don't know. I haven't thought about it. I'd better go home and get some of my clothes."

Alice shook her head, "it's no good, you don't have anything remotely suitable."

"I don't have anything suitable to wear to school? Alice, I've been going to school for years. I'll just wear one of the many outfits that have served me fine for many a school day in the past."

"Well, setting aside your habit of wearing the same outfits time and time again," Alice said with a very tasteful grimace on her pixie-face, "lots of people are going to be staring at you tomorrow, so you need a confidence-boosting outfit. Luckily, I happen to have a few in your size upstairs."

"Of course you do," I sighed, "is there any chance that I will be able to resist your attempt to dress me?"

Alice squinted for a bit, then she sighed and then she smiled, "you won't let me try them out tonight," she admitted, "but you will put my favourite one on tomorrow morning. That will have to do."

"If you're not otherwise engaged, Ma'am," Jasper stood up and held out his hand to Alice, "might I request the pleasure of your company upstairs?"

"Oh, Jazz, yes, that looks good. Try and think about something else for an hour or two, Edward!" Alice called the last sentence over her shoulder as Jasper dragged her up stairs at a run.

"Um . . . where am I going to sleep tonight?" I asked Edward, now that we were alone in the room again.

"I put a bed in my room," he said, "is that ok?"

"You didn't have to do that just for me."

"Well," he looked down at the floor, "my room needed a bit of work anyway after the night before last when something – well, I – happened to it. So I used it as an opportunity to try and redesign it into something that you might like and find more comfortable."

"Really? Can I see?"

He grinned and swept me up into his arms, so that he could run up the stairs with me. I was amazed when I saw his room, it was completely transformed. The main feature of the room was now a huge four-poster bed, with light purple drapery shrouding it. The walls had been repainted in a very pale pink, which matched the bedspread There was a huge, luxuriously deep piled, purple rug covering most of the floor. Edward's music collection, which used to dominate the room, had been banished to a light oak fronted cupboard, stood next to a wardrobe of equal size. Either side of the bed were neat little bedside tables, each holding a reading light and a carafe of water. Edward's leather couch was gone, replaced by two soft swede armchairs, with a tiny table sat between them. Under the window were two matching desks, with straight backed chairs pulled up to them, and brand new computers sat on them both. The room was designed for a human to use as a bedroom / study. It would easily hold two humans.

I stared at Edward and said, "where's all your stuff gone?"

He shrugged, "it didn't fit with the theme." Then he winced, as if he could hear something that I couldn't and he didn't like it.

"What's wrong?"

Edward carefully put me down on the bed. "Alice has provided a wardrobe for you here," he said, "your things are on the left. There are nightclothes for you on the bed. I hope that I haven't missed anything."

"Why did you wince earlier? What were your family saying?"

He laughed at me, "how do you know that my family were saying anything? You can't read minds."

"No, I can't. But I can read you, and I know the face you pull when your family say something that you don't like. What were they saying?"

He sighed, "they were reminding me that only some of my old stuff had to be disposed of because of the redecoration. I destroyed most of my possessions when my family were holding me here the night before last. They didn't think that I ought to conceal the full extent of my loss of control from you. I'm still hoping to convince you that I'm not going to hurt you again."

I patted the bed next to me, and he sat by my side. Then I leaned against him and snuggled into his shoulder. "I love you," I reminded him, "it's ok that you went slightly crazy. You don't have to be perfect for me. I kind of like it when you're fallible."

It probably would have been more romantic and convincing if I could have gotten through the entire sentence without yawning. However, it had been a long day, and I was ready to collapse with exhaustion.

Edward grinned at my sleepy slurred speech. He picked me up again and ran with me out of the room. He put me down, a little bit dazed, in front of the bathroom and handed me a pile of toiletries and nightclothes. He steadied me on my feet and said, "go, get ready for me to carry you back to my bed."

He sounded so happy that I laughed at him. There was no reason for him to be thrilled to be taking me to bed. We both knew that I wouldn't be getting anything more exciting than sleep in his bed.

I brushed my teeth and my hair, and then I thought that I'd better take a quick shower. One of the downsides of spending so much time with vampires is that you start to get a bit self-conscious about your smell. Being the only one in the house who ever sweats, ever needs to blow their nose, every actually uses the house toilets, it can make a girl develop a bit of a complex. In order to ease the feeling of being a disgusting troll, I'd taken to showering twice a day. I considered wearing antiperspirant to bed, but Edward would have noticed the smell, and he probably would have asked me what I was doing. He never liked it when I changed my scent.

When I was finished in the bathroom, I unlocked the door to find him standing there waiting for me. Of course, he looked perfect in his neat pyjamas, with his perfect tousled hair. He had to look like that when I was standing in front of him, awkwardly clutching my day's dirty clothes, wearing a nightgown and shorts that cleverly emphasised my knobbly – and slightly grazed – knees. I'd tried not to get my hair wet in the shower, so it was hanging down my back in that lifeless way that it does when it's just a little bit damp. Edward looked like an angel and I looked like a tramp who had recently been caught in a rainstorm.

"Your clothes smell nice, but don't you want them washed? Will you put them in the hamper, or do you plan on bringing them to bed?"

I scowled at his light tone, why did he have to act so casual? "I didn't realise that you _had _a laundry hamper," I said, "do vampires even do laundry? I've never seen any of you wear an outfit more than once."

"Of course we do laundry," he said, "do you think that we would donate dirty clothes to Goodwill? Not that we'll give your clothes away, of course," he added quickly, "I know that you'll want them back."

I heard a loud groan from Alice and Jasper's room.

Edward smirked, "I won't let Alice near them," he promised, "Esme agreed with you that I ought to help out more around the house, so she's got me doing all the laundry anyway."

I could feel my cheeks heating up. This was awful. Not only was my perfect, never oozing any stenches or emitting any waste products from his body, vampire boyfriend standing here and talking about the necessity of washing my dirty clothes; he was actually suggesting that he personally would handle them, sort them and put them into the washing machine. Didn't he know that I'd got underwear in this pile? How could he possibly imagine that I was going to be ok with him handling my underwear at all ever, let alone my dirty underwear? Why couldn't the world just swallow me up? Where was a homicidal vampire when you needed one? I was seriously considering yelling 'Victoria, Victoria, I'm over here, come and get me', but I knew that it would only worry Edward more and then we would be discussing my dirty clothes and my obvious insanity.

Instead I said, "um . . . I don't want you to wash my clothes."

He was baffled, of course he was, he probably had no idea what dirty laundry was. He thought that people washed things on principal. None of his family's clothes ever _needed_ washing. "Alright," he said, "I think that you probably need to go to sleep. How about we just put your clothes down somewhere, and you go to bed?" He was talking slowly and gingerly, as if he really did think that I was losing my mind. Perhaps calling for Victoria to eat me wouldn't have made any difference after all.

I was still clutching my dirty clothes to my chest, as if I was afraid that he would snatch them from me. I really had the whole 'crazed tramp' look down to a tee. "You don't understand me," I wailed at him. In fairness, I really was very tired.

"No, I don't understand you. But, that's probably my fault. I'm sure that you're making perfect sense," he offered hopefully, "maybe I'll understand better in the morning, after I've had a night to think about it."

But I knew that if I didn't say anything now, I would never be brave enough to bring it up again. Right now, he already thought that I was crazy and was probably trying to decide if he ought to ask Carlisle to sedate me. Right now I had nothing to lose. So now was the time to press ahead and try to get him to see what it was like to be a human dating a vampire. "I'm disgusting," I told him. He looked frightened now, but he seemed to think that interrupting me might exacerbate the problem, so he let me speak. "I sweat and I bleed and I do all sorts of other things that are too horrible to even talk about. And you never do anything like that. It's hard to be the troll girlfriend of an angel. I don't want you to even look at me. I don't want you to see how gross I am."

Edward seemed to be fighting a smile, which really didn't help.

"You think I'm a joke," I could feel the tears pricking behind my eyes now, "you think that I'm a disgusting, snivelling, stinking joke."

"No, no, Bella, please don't say that, please don't think that, please stop crying, Bella." He reached out and tentatively patted my shoulder. "May I hold you?" he asked.

I nodded, "why not, you can smell me from where you are anyway."

"Oh, pretty Bella," he said, pulling me into a tight embrace, "I'm sorry that I laughed. I didn't mean to imply that I thought badly of you. I adore you. Do you mind if we finish this conversation in my room? Um . . . the hallway isn't the best of places."

I let him guide me gently to his room. He walked behind so that he could keep his arms around me and kiss the back of my neck. He sat us both on the bed and curled his body around me, holding me upright.

"I shouldn't have laughed," he said, "but it seemed funny to me. I mean, you were saying that you were disgusting because of all the things you do that show you're alive. All the time, I'm standing here and I'm actually dead. I hunt animals and drink their blood. I've killed people and I still think about it sometimes. Not all that long ago, I seriously contemplated killing you. I walk around full of non-functioning organs, looking seventeen for almost a hundred years. And you think that you're disgusting. It's just so incongruous that I laughed."

"But, you smell nice, and you always look clean and tidy. You can't really think that you're disgusting. I find you beautiful, like an angel."

"You know that I'm not an angel," he said softly. "Bella, you smell glorious to me, you know that. I don't just mean that you smell good enough to eat. Your scent is wonderful, the most pleasant fragrance that I have ever smelt. When you've worn clothes, their infused with your scent and I find them extremely appealing, in a way that isn't at all proper or gentlemanly You're truly celestial, Bella, my beautiful, fragrant, amazing Bella."

"You don't like the smell of human food. Surely you find my eating disgusting?"

He smirked at me, "Bella, do you find my hunting disgusting? You can't bear the smell of blood."

"Oh," I'd never thought about it like that before. Could he really accept my differences from him in the same way in which I accepted his differences from me? "Do you really not mind?"

He stroked my hair and then, looking up to check my expression first, he pushed his face into my hair and inhaled deeply. "You are delectable," he said. Then he pressed his ear against my chest, to show me that he was listening to my heartbeat. "You're alive," he said, "your living, breathing, eating, excreting, growing, real body is the most wonderful and beautiful thing in the world. You are what is natural and right. Everything about me that makes me different from you is just another sign of how unnatural I am. Do you understand, Bella?"

"No," I told him honestly, with another big yawn, "but I like that you love me and I like that you don't find me repulsive."

"Silly Bella," he said, twisting around and sliding me under the covers as he spoke, "you're enchanting and enticing and alluring and oh, so tempting. Sometimes you're frustrating and surprising, but never have you been repulsive." He kissed my forehead as I lay, snuggled in his bed, with his arms around me, keeping me safe and making me feel loved and desired. "Goodnight, my enthralling Bella."

I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own the 'Twilight' series, or any of the characters contained therein. I didn't write the 'Twilight' series, but if I had done, it would have gone a little bit more like this:

I woke a couple of times that night. The first time I woke, I couldn't remember where I was. I reached out for Edward and found that he wasn't there. I didn't recognise the billowing shapes that I could see surrounding me. I sat up abruptly, to try and get my bearings.

Then I saw Edward, he was standing by the side of the bed, with his fists clenched tightly by his sides, looking at me in surprise.

"You see," I heard someone hiss from the foot of the bed, I turned to see Rosalie, sat in one of the suede chairs, smirking at Edward, "now you've woken her up. Go back to sleep, Bella," she crooned, "you have school tomorrow."

"What's happening?" I asked, was there someone else here? Was Victoria here? Why was Edward standing like that? Why wasn't Rosalie worried about whatever it was that was making Edward so cross?

Rosalie laughed, "Edward leapt out of bed," she said, "and that woke you. Everything's fine. There's no danger. Go back to sleep."

Edward growled at his sister, but he sat on the edge of the bed and rearranged pillows and lay me back down. "Everything's fine, my Bella," he said softly, stroking my cheek with his light, cold fingers.

"Why is Rosalie here?" I asked. If everything was fine, I wouldn't need two vampires to guard me.

"I'm keeping Edward company while you sleep,"she said. That made sense. It must be very boring for him to lie there watching me all night long. No wonder he leapt out of bed, poor guy, he must have been out of his mind with boredom.

"I wish you could sleep too," I told him, and fell asleep contented once again.

The next time I awoke, I felt Edward's cool body next to mine. I looked for Rosalie, but she wasn't at the foot of the bed anymore. I glanced around the room and saw Alice instead, calmly leaning against the bedpost nearest my head.

"Good morning, Bella" she said cheerfully.

"No Rosalie this morning?" I asked.

"She's gone to get ready for school. It's my shift now. So I get to help you dress" Alice cheerfully danced over to the wardrobe and began flicking through the array of outfits.

"Don't you already know what I'm going to wear?" I teased her and Alice laughed back at me.

"I'm just admiring your selection," she told me, "you're going to wear what's already laid out for you." I followed her gaze and saw that she'd laid out a skirt and a sweater combination on the chair that Rosalie had sat in during the night.

"Oh, thank you," I said. It felt awkward: lying next to Edward in bed and chatting to his sister. I turned my head to see why Edward hadn't spoken yet this morning.

"He's sulking," Alice told me happily, as if she thought that this was extremely cute of Edward and I ought to be pleased, "last night, well, in the early hours of this morning really, you kept telling him to shut up. He didn't like it and now he isn't going to speak until he's spoken to."

I pulled myself up onto my elbow, so that I could see Edward's face. He didn't look like he was sulking. His eyes were closed and he had a serene expression. He looked as though he were sleeping. I reached out and stroked his cheek gently. "I'm sorry I told you to shut up," I said, "I wasn't really talking to you. I was just talking in my sleep. It doesn't mean anything."

"You said: 'Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, shut up, Edward'," Alice told me, "I think that you'll have to offer him a bit more than 'it doesn't mean anything'. Maybe you should have a shower and some breakfast first, get your strength up before you try to handle a moody Edward."

"I was only thinking about how much I hate it when you won't use his name," I told Edward, who was still doing his sleeping impression. "I wish that you would call him 'Jacob'. I only want you to shut up when you say unpleasant things."

He opened his eyes and looked at me. "You used to say nice things to me while you slept," he said, "I used to think that it was the closest that I got to reading your mind. I don't like it that you were dreaming about telling me to shut up. I don't want to annoy you."

I laughed at him, "Edward, dreams don't mean anything. It doesn't matter what I dream about. Aren't you more interested in what I say when I'm awake? When I'm awake I don't tell you to stop talking to me."

"Shall I get you some breakfast while you have your shower?" he asked. When I nodded, he leapt off the bed and disappeared downstairs. I briefly wondered when he'd got up to dress, because he was wearing slacks and a shirt now, not the pyjamas that he'd been wearing last time I saw him.

"Did I say anything else?" I asked Alice.

She shook her head. Then she reached into her pocket and produced a small ring-bound notebook. She gestured at me to open it, so I turned to the first page and read 'Everyone can hear everything that you say wherever they are in the house. If you want to talk to people without being overheard, you need to write things down.'

So I wrote 'is that all I said last night?'

Alice wrote back 'it's all you said about Edward. You said a lot of stuff about Jacob. You said that you were sorry and that you wanted to see him. You said that a lot and then you went back to telling Edward to shut up. He's pretty upset.'

I sighed. It wasn't at all fair for Edward to be upset because of something that I said while I was asleep. He would just have to get over it. I wasn't going to spend the whole day apologising for talking in my sleep.

Alice took the pad and began writing again. 'If you go with your current plan, he'll sulk all day, you'll have a huge row at lunchtime and he'll get into a fight with Carlisle when he tries to stop him coming round to your house tonight.'

I glared at Alice, which wasn't really fair, so I wrote, 'Sorry, Alice. I know that it's not your fault. I appreciate you helping me.'

'You're cross with Edward, because he's being silly. But he has a hard time working out what you're thinking, and he thinks that your sleep talking gives him a window into your thoughts.'

If Edward was worried about what I was really thinking, then ignoring the problem would just make it worse. I'd have to talk to him and make him understand how I really felt about him and about Jacob.

'Much better," Alice wrote, and she underlined it three times. 'You should keep the book' she wrote, then she ripped out the page that we'd been using, gave me back the remainder of the book and dashed out of the room.

I picked up my stuff and went to get my shower.

Once I was dressed, I went downstairs, and found Edward in the kitchen, laying orange juice, milk and cereal out on the table.

"You need a better way of finding out what I'm thinking," I told him, reaching a bowl down from the cupboard.

"Better than what? I never know what you're thinking. Would you like orange juice?"

"Yes, thanks. Better than listening to what I say in my sleep and trying to guess what I'm dreaming about." I found a spoon in the drawer and walked over to the table.

He put my cereal down on the table and pulled out my chair for me, "I already know what you were dreaming about. You were dreaming about _Jacob_," he very pointedly said the name and not some variation on the theme of a dog, he poured milk over my cereal for me, whilst saying "that doesn't take any guesswork."

I took a bite of my breakfast while I tried to work out how to reply. "Mmm, this is really good," I told him, eating a bit more, just to make my point.

Edward stopped scowling at me and laughed. "I'm glad that you're enjoying it," he said.

"Yeah, people don't usually make my breakfast for me," I told him, "well, I don't really want Charlie to make my breakfast for me. I like being spoiled by you."

He grinned, "I like spoiling you. I would spoil you a lot more, if you would permit me."

"Don't get ahead of yourself. Let's just enjoy this moment. Look, a lot of our problems stem from us not understanding where each other's coming from. So, here's my idea: if you want to know what I think about something, ask me and I will tell you. If I want to know what you're thinking about something, I'll ask and you'll tell me. If we can both agree to tell the truth to one another, I think that we'll be a lot happier. Agreed?"

"You'll always answer me truthfully and not spare my feelings?" he checked carefully.

"Well, yes. But you have to agree to do the same."

"You already know everything about me," he said, "all I ever think about is you. I agree. Can I ask you some questions now?"

I pulled the notebook out of my pocket and slid it across the table to him. "Let's keep a few things between you and me," I said, "I'm not entering into the full-disclosure agreement with your entire family."

'I should have thought of this' Edward wrote in his quick and beautiful handwriting, 'I do understand that you don't want my whole family to know everything about you. I forget that you're accustomed to a greater degree of privacy in your life. Thank you for offering to be open with me. Please will you tell me, without sparing my feelings, what exactly is your relationship with Jacob Black?'

In Edward's handwriting, Jacob's name looked beautiful. I wondered if that annoyed him.

'He's a friend,' I wrote, 'a very good friend. He was there for me when you weren't.' Edward was reading what I wrote, as I wrote it, so I gave him a small smile and patted his hand when I wrote that bit, I didn't want him to start beating himself up over leaving me again. 'Now I feel' I stopped, crossed out 'feel' and wrote 'think that I ought to be there for him. He's having a hard time, what with turning into a werewolf and everything.'

Edward frowned and reached for the pen, but I shook my head and kept writing.

'When you weren't here, Jacob took care of me and he was the only person who made me feel as though I was alive. I can't abandon him now.'

Then I released the pen to Edward's eager hand. 'The fact is that he could kill you. I'm sorry that I left and I probably deserve to lose you again, but don't let it happen like this. Please don't let yourself get hurt in order to punish me.'

'He's not going to hurt me. You don't know him, so you don't know what you're talking about. Read what I just wrote! He kept me safe while you were gone. He protected me from Laurent, and he's been protecting me from Victoria. I'm not seeing Jacob because I'm punishing you (that's a stupid idea). I want to see him because he's my FRIEND.'

Edward was shaking his head again. 'He wants more than friendship,' he wrote, 'do you believe that he is happy to be just your friend? Seeing another man – even if he is a werewolf – is a way of punishing me, and I wish that you would chose something less dangerous to you. Can't you shout at me or stop talking to me for a while? You have lots of other ways in which you could make me suffer. Would you find it helpful if I made you a list?'

'Idiot!' Edward looked at me in surprise. So I scribbled it out and wrote, 'sorry. You don't seem to be listening to me,' I frowned and tried again, 'you're not reading me properly. My friendship with Jacob has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. It's all about him needing me as a friend. He knows that I don't think of him in any other way and he understands that we're never going to be more than friends.'

'You were already aware that he wanted to be more than just friends, before I told you? Have you been continuing to see him even though you knew that he wanted more than friendship from you?'

I didn't need to write a nod, so I just nodded. Edward frowned and wrote again, 'Jacob Black wants to steal you away from me and you are perfectly happy with this situation and intend to continue seeing him, even though I have begged you not to do so. You won't let me try to persuade you to stop seeing him on grounds of your safety, because you tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about. Now you won't let me try to persuade you not to see him in order to preserve my own happiness, because you say that it is nothing to do with me. I can't persuade you to change your mind. I give up.'

He pushed this last paragraph over for me to read and then he got up from his seat. "Do you want anything else to eat or drink?" he asked me in a falsely cheerful voice.

I shook my head, "I'm going to wash up and then I'll go and brush my teeth," I said.

"Let me handle the dishes," he offered, sweeping them away from me.

I shrugged. I picked up the little book and wondered about ripping out the page that we had been using. Then I decided that I might want to look at it again later, when I was feeling a bit calmer. I closed the book and ran back upstairs.

I brushed my teeth quickly, found my book bag in Edward's room and got back downstairs without seeing any of the Cullens. They must have known that I was arguing with Edward and decided to avoid me. They could probably hear the sound of angry writing! Stupid super vampire hearing.

When I got back to the hallway, I saw that Edward, Alice and Jasper were all ready to go and waiting for me. Alice put her arm round my shoulder and dragged me out of the house, prattling on about how exciting it was to be nearly at the end of school and how great it would be when we'd all graduated, and how fun it was that Jasper had a job at school.

Outside the house was an amazing blue Mustang. Jasper opened the back door for me and Alice to climb in and then walked around to the driver's seat. Edward shrugged and sat in the front passenger seat, not looking at me at all. He was probably still angry.

"Jasper," I asked, "is this your car? I've never seen it before."

Jasper grinned, "I needed something to take us all to school, while the Volvo is having a rest. Do you like it?"

I laughed, "it's very you," I told him.

Alice laughed with me and Jasper nodded appreciatively. He obviously thought that was a compliment to both him and the car. I suppose that I did mean it as a compliment. The car had a kind of rugged grace that I associated with Jasper. It wasn't a brand new car, it obviously had a lot of mileage on the clock, but it was clean and fresh inside; tidy and unfussy. It was a very Jasper-car. I only wondered how he'd persuaded Alice to let him buy something second-hand.

"She's a good girl," he said stroking his hand lovingly over the dash, "my Sally."

"You named her Sally?" I asked him.

"Sure," Jasper said, "a good car needs a lady's name. This one is a sweet Sally-Ann."

We got to school pretty fast, Sally was obviously a quick mover.

Jasper opened my door and Edward opened Alice's so that we got out on opposite sides. "I'll see you kids later," Jasper said with a wink at Alice. "Have a good day, and behave yourselves."

"Yes, Mr Hale," Alice said in a little-girl voice that I hadn't heard before.

Edward rolled his eyes and offered me his arm. He tucked my books and Alice's books under his free arm and carried them for us until we got to our lockers, where Alice left us with a promise that we would see her at lunch.

"Does the full-disclosure agreement still stand?" Edward asked me, once we were alone.

"I guess so," I said, "but I don't think that we ought to talk about it anymore. We weren't really getting anywhere."

He sighed, "actually, I wanted to ask you about something else. If you don't think that our first attempt at honesty was such a failure that you want to stop talking to me about anything."

"I like talking to you. But, I think that you owe me an answer now. I'll answer your question first, but then I expect you to answer two questions for me. What do you want to know?"

"Does my age bother you?" I was surprised that he had asked me a question like that – one that was so intimately tied up with his vampiric nature – while we were at school. But, on second thoughts, where else could he ask it? If he asked me at home, his entire family would be listening to every word we spoke and every change in my heart rate or my breathing.

He looked genuinely nervous about my answer, as if he thought that I might push him away from me and call him a dirty old man. Of course, in a sense I would be absolutely right: he was an old man. But, he was an old man in the same sense in which I was a necrophiliac He just didn't seem like an old man to me. "No," I said simply, "your age doesn't bother me. Do you think that you're too old for me or too young?"

"I suppose that I was wondering if it bothered you that that was a sensible question. Does it bother you that I am both too old and too young for you?"

"I don't think of you as either. Why, does my age bother you?"

He shook his head, "I don't think about it very much," he admitted, "sometimes I forget that you're not exactly the same age as me, and I expect you to reminisce about things that happened in the sixties."

I laughed. While we'd been talking, we'd reached our first class, so I didn't get to ask my question until the bell rang again.

"My turn," I reminded him.

Edward held out his hands in supplication, "go easy on me," he said.

"I think that this is easy," I said, "when your family, um talk to you and I can't hear them," I looked at him pointedly, hoping that he would get it.

He grinned and nodded at me, "you mean when I hear their voices on the phone," he said, offering something that wouldn't sound absurd if we were overheard.

"That's right; do they ever shout at you?"

He was surprised, this obviously wasn't the kind of question that he'd expected me to ask. I wondered if it was too private, if he was going to object to discussing his relationship with his family with me. "Yes," he said, "it's like when I hear them face to face. Sometimes they talk to me in normal voices and sometimes they yell at me. Why are you asking me about that?"

"I get one more question," I told him, "you'll have to be patient. I'll ask you after Biology."

The lesson went reasonably fast. I was mulling over what I had learned from Edward and trying to work out the perfect phrasing of my next question, so that I didn't waste it. It was hard to do, so I eventually decided that I would just ask Edward not to be all legalistic. There was specific information that I wanted, and he was going to have to let me ask as many questions as it took for me to get there.

"You have one more question for me," he said, as soon as class was dismissed.

I shook my head, "I'm having trouble working out how to phrase it, you have to bear with me and let me ask a few questions until I get what I want to know."

"If we do that, then how will we know when it's my turn to ask a question again?" He frowned, "you might decide that it will take months to find out what you want to know."

"You promised to be open with me, so it shouldn't be hard. I want to know about your, um . . . 'phone calls' with your family. I can imagine that Carlisle would get annoyed sometimes, that sounds fair and I think it would make sense for Esme to shout at you over the phone, from time to time. But, sometimes I see your face when you're on the phone with your siblings and I think that you look really upset. I think that your whole family make loud phone calls to you and I think that they do it quite a lot. Of course, I never talk to your family on the phone and I don't ring you up either, because I just can't, so it's hard for me to be sure how it sounds to you. That's what I want to know. How different are your family on the phone to how they are face-to-face?"

"That was a very long question," he said, "I suppose that you won't accept a short answer. It does sound very similar to how it sounds when they talk to me face-to-face and my family all know how to shout at me over the phone. I'm surprised that you say you've noticed my expression changing when I'm getting shouted at over the phone. I didn't realise that I was so easy to read."

He frowned a bit, and I guessed that he was thinking through the implications of being 'easy to read'. If he hadn't thought that I would notice his expression, then he probably hadn't expected his family to notice either. "You're sort of right in saying that Carlisle and Esme shout at me, they do, but not as much as Jasper or Rosalie. I'm not sure how different they are on the phone. I don't hear them as much face-to-face. It's easier for them just to phone me when they want to say something and sometimes they'll phone me even though we're in the same room and they're already talking to me face-to-face. I guess nobody feels the same need to censure themselves on the phone as they do when talking, because there's no risk of being overheard."

"We'll have to finish this conversation later," he said, "class is about to start."

This time, when the bell rang, Edward didn't seem eager to resume talking to me. He got into a conversation with Ben Cheney about some film that I didn't think Edward had even seen. I don't think that he wanted to keep talking about his family yelling at him in their minds. I understood that it was a personal thing, but we had agreed to be more open with one another, and I wanted to understand this important aspect of Edward's life.

He hadn't been expecting me to want to talk about this, though, so I thought that I'd give him a bit of a break. Sometimes I wished that Edward could read my mind. Then I could tell him that he didn't need to hide behind a human shield. If he needed a break from serious conversation, he could talk to me about something else.

Ben was looking a bit uncomfortable now, so I figured that they'd both be pleased if I interrupted. So I grabbed Edward's arm, ignoring the resigned sigh that he gave, thinking I was going to force him back into a discussion that he wasn't ready to have, and said "how do you suppose Jasper is enjoying his first day in his new job?"

Edward regarded me quizzically for a second, and I saw Ben use the moment to wave goodbye and escape, then Edward realised that I was letting him off the hook and he smiled at me gratefully, "I expect that he's having a great time," he said, "Alice has somehow managed to persuade all her teachers that she needs to spend a few hours a day 'researching' and she's got Jasper 'helping' her to find books. I don't know if she's really going to make it down to eat lunch with us."

"You were scaring Ben," I told him.

He grimaced, "Ben has a very natural reaction to me," he said, "unlike some people. I was being as nice as I know how to be."

"You were hiding from me," I accused, "whatever happened to full disclosure? You should have said that you weren't in the mood to talk about your family right now."

"Can I get away with that? I thought that would be dodging the question."

"I am going to make you answer eventually," I admitted, I wasn't nice enough to let him off altogether, "but it doesn't have to be right now. You can try and convince me to hate Wuthering Heights, if you need a bit of light relief."

"I'm not sure that would count as light relief. I might end up in serious trouble. Can I suggest alternative reading matter instead? Maybe if I can persuade you to take an interest in a different book, you'll let me give it to you. You said that you were going to let me buy you some small gifts sometimes."

"That doesn't sound very clear of me. Who defines small and how often is sometimes?"

"Small is less expensive than a car," he said, "and sometimes is less often than Emmett buys a gift for Rose."

"Definitely not. I know the sorts of cars that you would use as the upper bounds. You may as well say that you're allowed to buy me anything less than a house."

"May I?" he grinned, "that's fine. Anything less than a house is permitted. It's a bit of a shame though, I did see a very nice house in Dartmouth, when I was looking at possible college locations. Perhaps it would be acceptable if I restricted myself to just one house? After all, you have to live somewhere when you go to college. A flat is smaller than a house," he mused, "and you could say that buying land is less expensive than buying a house. So, building a new house ought to be allowable. I'd love to build you a house."

"No house," I told him firmly, "people live in dorms when they go away to college."

He sighed, "Emmett and Rose never live in dorms," he said, "they have a very nice house in Seattle. I could promise that your house would be more modest than theirs, if that would make you any happier."

"If you get to define what's small, then I'll define 'sometimes'. You can buy me gifts whenever I give you express permission. That will happen sometimes."

"No deal," he shook his head seriously, "you defined 'small', you suggested 'less than a house' and I accepted. That means that I get to define 'sometimes' and I think that it means less frequently than hourly. So I can buy you anything smaller than a house, provided I buy less than one gift an hour." He was quite proud of himself. "My first gift will be the collected works of Thomas Hardy. I think that you'll like him. I'm very fond of 'Far from the Madding Crowd'. Then I'm going to buy you some jewellery I'd like to see you draped in diamonds, I know how you like the way that they sparkle in the sun. And I think that you need a new car, or even two new cars: one for everyday and one for special occasions. It's going to be fun sticking to the new rules. As long as I can restrict myself to one gift an hour. Does a necklace and bracelet set count as one gift, do you think? Can I get away with calling a full jewellery box just one gift?"

I frowned at him, he mustn't be allowed to think that he had genuinely convinced me to agree to such a ridiculous joke of limits. "That won't work, Edward," I said, "you can buy me one book. That's an acceptable gift. But you won't be buying me anything else for the rest of the month, or else."

He smirked wickedly, "or else what, Miss Swan? What would be the consequences of my buying gifts for my beautiful girlfriend?"

I wondered what on earth I could do to Edward that he wouldn't like. I could tell him that I wouldn't see him if he showered me with gifts. But then I would have a lot of stuff that I didn't want and I wouldn't be able to see my Edward. I suspected that I would suffer more than he did through an enforced absence.

It wasn't fair, money meant nothing to him. How on earth was I going to make him see how much money meant to me? If only he knew what it was like to have a real budget, then he wouldn't tease me about 'modest' gifts of houses and cars. Suddenly I knew exactly what to say.

"Every penny that you spend on me, without my express permission," I said coolly, "will result in me spending exactly the same amount on you. You'll have to watch me throw my college savings away on flowers that you don't appreciate and dinners that you never eat. If you try and give me money, then I will give it right back. If you buy me a car, I will put myself into debt buying an equally expensive one for you."

His grin disappeared as he realised quite how little I could afford to give him back the expensive gifts that he imagined lavishing on me. I could see him trying to work out a way around this new idea of mine. Of course, once I'd run out of money and I couldn't borrow any more, then I would have to stop. But it would be too late by then, I would be in serious debt. Obviously he couldn't force me into debt. Nor could he deny me my right to buy him gifts. If he claimed that gifts were a way of expressing love, then he couldn't argue that he was allowed to buy me gifts but I wasn't allowed to buy them in return.

Finally, he gave up, "so, I can buy you a gift if you give me prior approval," he clarified, "and you won't feel obliged to retaliate. But if I buy you a surprise gift, or buy you something that you have refused to approve, you will buy me the same thing. Is that the deal?"

I nodded, "it's all about our being equals," I said, "anything you can do, I can do too." It was a silly thing to say really, since the whole point of my threat was that I couldn't afford to do what he could do.

"I think that I understand," he said, "you want me to work within your budget, because you can't work to mine. You don't like me spending more than you can afford. That does make sense. I should have been more perceptive and more sensitive to your feelings. But, you did give me permission to buy you one book, and I can request permission to buy you something else tomorrow."

"You can certainly ask, Edward."

He nodded slowly, then turned to face the front, as the next class began. This whole 'being equals' thing was interesting. It seemed to work best when I was just up-front about my feelings and didn't try to trick Edward or second-guess him. Wow, I really was becoming a proper girlfriend, dealing with real relationship-issues. Maybe I could start up an advice column for people dating insanely rich, absurdly moral, mythical beings. I wonder how many people there were who would write in. Perhaps we could form a club.

Peter Parker (aka Spiderman) had a girlfriend, she could join. Did Batman have a girlfriend? I couldn't remember, comics had never really excited me. There was always Emily, of course, she was dating a mythical being. Maybe if the wolves and the vampires could get along just a little bit better, Emily and I could swap notes. It would be nice not to be the only human who knew what was going on.

I didn't follow much of the lesson, I was rather busy wondering what tips the Incredible Hulk's girlfriend might be able to give me on how to kiss someone who could easily snap you in two. I would have to ask Edward to lend me his notes later. I should probably consider just using all his notes when I was revising for finals, they were bound to be better than mine.

At lunch time, Edward had obviously decided that he was ready to talk mind-reading again, because he said, "when do you think my family were yelling at me?"

I thought back and tried to remember the last time I'd seen that tell-tale wince cross his face. "Last night, that's why you leapt out of bed," I said, "who was that?"

"Um . . . Rosalie and Jasper and Esme" he looked at his feet, "you were saying Jacob's name and I growled. They were, understandably worried and angry. I just get worked up sometimes when lots of people shout at me all at once."

"Does that happen a lot? Lots of people yelling at once?"

"Only when I'm do something really bad, or I look like I'm about to do something really bad," he said, "so, yes, lately, quite a bit. I know that it's dangerous for me to be so close to you. I don't blame my family for worrying when I get angry around you. Of course, they don't know that they're all talking at once. I'm the only one who can hear everyone at the same time. They all think that I'm only hearing their voice. So, I don't think that anyone means to overwhelm me. Plus, it wouldn't happen at all if I could just behave the way that my family expects of me all the time."

No wonder he was finding things hard at the moment. Nobody can be perfect all the time. Yet Edward was attempting, not only to keep himself in check, but to keep all of his family happy with his every action all the time.

"Last night," I said, "when everyone was arranging who would be where, what were they saying to you that I couldn't hear?"

"Do you want to read everyone's minds now?"

"No, not exactly. The way that I see it there are two kinds of um . . . talking. There's the standard talking, which you sort of overhear, even when you're not the intended hearer. Then there's the stuff that your family actually say 'at' you. I want to know what they were saying towards you last night, not what they were just 'saying' to themselves."

He nodded, "alright. Well, Jasper started by saying that I may think of myself as a mature man, but he still thought of me as a little boy and he told me that I'd better behave myself and do as I was told for once. That was when he said that he didn't need me with him last night."

"I remember, you went all stiff against me, I wondered what was wrong." Edward half-shrugged, as if it was no big deal for Jasper to call him a child. "Is that all he said?" I asked.

"Well, no, he warned me that he would make me mind him if I wouldn't do so. He is a lot older than I am," Edward explained, "and he has every right to demand my respect. He has real experience in fighting other vampires, unlike me. I know that, so I ought not to have questioned him in the way in which I did. I've never argued with him like that before and I will obey Jasper in future" he assured me, as if I might be worried that he would run around thinking for himself instead.

Edward had told me that Alice thought I would be able to defend him from his family. I wondered why she thought I was going to be able to protect him from Jasper. If Edward thought that he was too young to question Jasper, then what chance did that leave me? If Edward was a child in Jasper's eyes, then I wasn't even a baby. If Jasper's authority was based on age and experience, then I ought to respect him even more than Edward did.

Perhaps it would be easier to start somewhere else. "Was there anything else going on last night? What was everyone saying when you," I paused to work out how to phrase this, "when you were staring at Rosalie?"

He nodded, to show that he remembered the incident. "Well, Esme told me to be careful and suggested that I left the room if I couldn't be properly polite. Jasper, um, offered to help me out of the room, if I wasn't in the mood to use the door."

"That's not what he said," I said, "here." I pushed the notebook towards him and Edward looked at it nervously. "Full disclosure," I reminded him, before he decided to refuse.

"Alice will be here in ten minutes," he said, but he wrote a single line in the book and pushed it towards me anyway.

'Edward, get off her now, unless you want me to come up there and throw you out of the window.'

"Well, that explains why you were stood there," I said mildly, "what was Rosalie saying?"

This time he took the book and wrote without hesitation, 'Edward, if you lay one finger on her, I will tear you to pieces, starting with your hands.'

I was surprised to see that Rosalie was so protective of me, but not very surprised that she expressed herself through the medium of threats. "Then, what happened?" I prompted. We'd completely given up on limiting the number of questions now, I just wanted to understand what Edward's family were doing to him.

He grimaced, but he wrote, 'Of course, I stood up, when Jasper asked me to. I waited by the side of the bed. Rosalie informed me that it was your prerogative to chose Jacob Black over me, and that he was, at least partially human. She also suggested that he was, perhaps, physically attractive in several specific ways that I would rather not write. Jasper and Esme had a short conversation with Alice about whether she could see me harming you at all. She assured them that she couldn't see anything happening to you tonight (they spoke aloud to one another). Jasper informed me in his mind that he would be in the next room and showed me a very detailed picture of what he planned on doing to me if Alice's vision changed. Rosalie suggested that I leave the room and she thought that she might call Jacob, since you seemed to want him by your side instead of me. I'm sorry, but I groaned loudly enough to wake you up. Rosalie reminded me that I was an idiot. Then you woke up.

'Jasper warned me not to move, so I stayed where I was. You were concerned about what was happening, so Rosalie and I assured you that there wasn't any danger. Esme called up that you should be put back into bed, and she asked Rose to watch me carefully and see if I was in control. Rose told her that I seemed to be behaving calmly. When I settled you back into bed, you held on to me and tried to pull me into bed with you. Alice reminded everyone that she couldn't see me hurting you and Esme suggested that your heart slowed down – indicating that you were more relaxed – when you had my hands on you. So, they all agreed that it would be safe, so long as I didn't make any more threats. Rose reminded me, several times, that she was watching every movement that I made.'

"Rosalie joined your family after you did," I told him, carefully avoiding anything that would sound too strange to anyone who overheard us, though I was pretty sure that Edward would tell me if anyone was paying attention to our conversation, that was one of the perks of having a mind-reader for a boyfriend. "What right does she have to yell at you?"

"Alice will be here in one minute," he said, then he said quickly, "she doesn't like me invading her mind and it's only fair that there are some perks to having her thoughts so open to me. She expresses her anger at me privately, which is kinder than yelling at me for everyone else to hear." He led me over to the counter, to choose our lunch, indicating that the more private part of our chat would have to end. "Will you come over and visit this evening?"

"We have to finish our conversation," I told him, "I'll come over after dinner, but I can't stay late."

"Won't you consider having dinner with me?" He continued piling food onto a tray, as he spoke. The wastefulness of it all irked me. Every day he piled food onto his tray, sat staring at it for a while and then threw it away. Didn't his parents ever tell him about the starving children in Africa?

I took a couple of pudding cups from his tray and returned them to the shelf, "you're not going to eat all that," I told him.

He smirked at me, "I'm picking out something for Alice too," he said.

"Anyway, I don't want to come for dinner with you tonight because I don't think that it's fair to make Esme cook for me again, and I want to spend a bit of time with Charlie."

"Esme doesn't mind cooking for you. She has a houseful of teenagers, one more person for dinner won't bother her."

I laughed at him, not sure whether his comment was intended as a joke for me, or as a 'normal' remark intended for other humans to over-hear. "I'm not a vegetarian, like you lot," I said, "Esme goes to a lot of trouble cooking special meals just for me, and I know that she won't be content just to leave me eating the same as the rest of you."


	6. Chapter 6

Edward paid quickly for the meal, and we walked over to our usual table. Alice had been waiting for us, and she immediately began investigating what we'd bought and making a show of choosing her own meal.

"How's Jasper enjoying his new job?" I asked her.

Alice smiled, "Edward wouldn't have bothered asking," she told me, "that's why I'm so glad to have you around. Jazz is settling in very well. Luck would have it, I had a bit of research to do in the library this morning, so I had a chance to catch up with him and see how he was doing. He was shocked to find that they were using the Library of Congress Cataloguing System rather than the Dewey Decimal, but, obviously, he doesn't have time to recatalogue the entire library. Instead, he's amusing himself with making a few acquisitions. Apparently the school recently won a grant to help with a major restocking. That ought to keep even Jazz busy for a little while."

"He should start with an up-to-date set of encyclopaedias," Edward said, "did you notice that the current set are eight years old?" He smirked, "I believe that there's a good deal on the Americana at the moment."

Alice snorted, "I expect that there are a lot of good deals on that particular publication; it's not as though anyone would chose to buy it for any other reason."

Edward laughed, "Alice has a grudge against the Americana," he told me, "they corrected an article that she wrote for them a few years ago. Will Jasper buy the Britannica in order to please you?"

She shrugged, "he hasn't noticed the need yet. To buy the new encyclopaedias, that is, he is very aware of the need to please me."

"Of course, in an All-American High School, it might be considered injudicious to purchase the old world version, when the new is available." Edward continued, "and, you have to admit that the writing style of the Americana is superior."

"Though the Britannica has fewer errors."

They lapsed into silence for a minute or so, glaring at each other. Suddenly, Alice turned back to me and said, "I'm sorry, Bella, that was very rude of us. Sometimes we get a little bit too involved," that was when I realised that they must have been continuing the argument out of my range of hearing.

"Do you have anything to recommend for Jasper's wish list?" Edward asked me.

I thought for a bit. I hadn't spent a lot of time in the school library. There was, after all, not a huge selection. "I don't exactly have the current catalogue memorised" I joked, "but I think that they have a pretty poor dramatic section. Perhaps he could get Barrie and O'Casey."

"They have the novel of Peter Pan," Alice told me, "but not the play, which, as you were going to say, is a superior work. Any library is incomplete without O'Casey, so I certainly agree there." Of course, both of them would have the entire catalogue memorised.

"Have you seen the Hitchcock version of Juno and the Paycock?" Edward asked me. I shook my head and he smiled delightedly, "you should see it. Come and let me show it to you. I'd like to know what you think of it."

"It's nearly time we had a little less respect for the dead, an' a little more regard for the living." Alice quoted, with a wicked grin from me to Edward, oddly enough in a perfect Dublin accent.

"Th' whole worl's in a terrible state o' chassis" I replied, in my very best Irish accent. When I'd studied O'Casey in Phoenix we'd put on a production of Juno and the Paycock and we'd all spent many weeks practising our accents by speaking the blarney at lunchtimes.

"Have you seen Shadow of a Doubt?" Edward asked.

I wondered why he was changing the subject from Irish playwrights to Hitchcock movies. It couldn't be because he didn't know the plays. Edward had read everything. I was going to ask, but Alice slipped over a square of paper, which read 'Edward can't do Irish accents'. So instead I said, "we can have a Hitchcock celebration at the weekend if you like. I'll let you show me all your favourites. I've only seen the Birds."

"Not even Psycho?" Alice asked, then she laughed at my reply, just before I gave it.

"I don't like scary movies," I said, though I don't know why. Edward and Alice had already heard me. "I don't see what's funny about that," I complained, "I happen to get scared easily." Now they were both laughing. Ah, well, at least they were happy; crazy vampires.

"Do you have any other surprising fears?" Edward asked, struggling to compose himself.

I frowned at him, "I'm not scared of snakes or the dark or anything, if that's what you're asking me. I do have the usual standard fear of homicidal maniacs trying to kill me, though."

That stopped them laughing pretty fast. I realised too late, that they would think I was talking about Victoria. "Most of all," I said, desperately trying to think of a way of lightening the mood again, "I'm scared of ever having to listen to the full encyclopaedia argument between the two of you."

They didn't laugh as freely as before, but they did laugh again.

"I promise never to subject you to the full argument," Edward said solemnly, "I would only need two sentences to convince you of the greatness of the Americana."

"Not today you won't," Alice said, "three, two, one." The bell rang and we all got up to return to our classes.

Edward walked me to the gym and left me while I had my games lesson. I met him again in Biology. Walking into the room and seeing his head lift and his eyes light up, I felt on top of the world. I don't know what it is that Edward sees in me, but I'm glad that it's there, and I hope it never goes away. There's no greater feeling than walking into a room and finding someone who's pleased to see you.

"What are you smiling about?" He asked, "you look really pleased about something."

"You," I told him, blushing to my ears.

"That's very pleasing to hear. What have I done right? Tell me, so that I can be sure to do it again, often."

"You looked pleased to see me," I told him, "a girl likes to feel wanted, you know."

He grinned, "I am always very pleased to see you," he said, "and especially pleased to see you getting out of a PE lesson completely unscathed."

"Well, keep showing that you're pleased to see me, and I'll keep smiling. You could leave out the sarcastic remarks about my clumsiness, though."

"I wasn't being sarcastic," he said, "I was being serious. It is lovely to see you survive physical activity without hurting yourself. I was expressing my delight in your increasing gracefulness. I would like to suggest that it's the result of the dancing. Perhaps a bit more dancing would lead to even more gracefulness."

"I don't mind dancing with you when nobody can see us," I said, "that's quite nice." I thought about having his arms tightly wrapped around me, his eyes gazing into mine. When we were dancing, it wouldn't matter how close I got, Edward would be too polite to pull away before the end of the dance. Perhaps I should encourage him in this new desire. He couldn't force me to dance in public while he was still grounded and forbidden from leaving the house, unless he was going to school.

He was so thrilled by my concession, that I felt guilty. He obviously thought that I was considering dancing with him in order to make me happy. He had no idea of my selfish ulterior motives. Maybe it was best to keep it that way. This whole 'full disclosure' thing could easily be taken too far.

We didn't get another chance to talk until the end of the day. As we headed back towards the car, Edward said, "will you come over tonight?"

"After dinner," I assured him.

"I don't think that you should spend so much time away from me," he said, "you're much safer at my house. Perhaps we could convince Charlie that it would be better for you to stay with us for a while."

"Why would he think that it would be better for me to stay with you?"

"He could be obliged to go away for work, or your house could burn down," Edward offered, as though these were sensible options, "or you could tell him that you love me and can't stand to be away from me every night."

I smiled, "I'm perfectly safe at home," I told him, "and, if my house is damaged in anyway I will hold you personally responsible."

I was surprised to hear Alice singing, before we reached her. In her delightful, soft Irish accent she sang: "Dear harp o' me counthry, in darkness I found thee, the dar chain of silence had hung o'er thee long. When proudly, me own island harp, I unbound thee, an' gave all thy chords to light, freedom an' song!"

"Please," Edward groaned, "I thought that you'd stopped messing about with accents."

Alice grinned and replied, "There's no necessity to be raisin' your voice; shoutin's no manifestin' forth of a growin' mind."

Edward glared and stuck his tongue out at his sister, which is probably the first time that this line from The Plough and the Stars has ever met with such a reception.

Jasper, who had been waiting patiently for Alice to finish her song, looked very sternly at Edward and said, "that is not polite, gentelmanly behaviour, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. If you can't keep your tongue in your mouth where it belongs, I'll be happy to keep it somewhere else for you." As he spoke, he pulled a small wooden box out of his pocket and tossed it lightly between his hands.

I would have laughed at such an absurd threat, but Edward took it very seriously indeed. He took a couple of steps back and looked warily at Jasper's box. He put his hands out in front of himself and said quickly, "my apologies, Alice, I will endeavour to behave appropriately."

Jasper smirked and tossed the box over to me. In my surprise, I actually caught it. Then I looked at it suspiciously. Was I going to open it up and find it full of vampire tongues? I remembered Edward telling me that vampires could be ripped apart and put back together and only died if they were burned after being dismembered. I wondered what had happened to all the vampires whose tongues Jasper had stolen. Then I realised, with a giggle, that he must be joking. There was no way that Jasper stole tongues and put them in a box.

I looked down to examine the box in more detail. It was a little rosewood box, about two inches cubed. There was a pretty knot design carved on the top and a tiny little golden catch on one side. I flicked the catch up with my thumb.

Edward leapt forward and put his hand over the top. He kept his eyes on Jasper the whole time, wondering if Jasper was going to strike. "You should let me open it," he said.

"Definitely not," Jasper replied, "hands off, Edward."

Edward lifted his hand off the box, but left it hovering only millimetres over the top. He was tense. I looked over at Jasper and saw that he was standing very still. Alice didn't seem perturbed, she was idly tracing patterns in the dust of the driveway with her foot. I watched Edward's eyes narrow at something that Jasper had 'said' to him. Then he backed away slowly, standing just in front of me and still watching Jasper closely. I wondered at Edward's reaction. If he was in on the joke, he was building it up a bit too much. If he wasn't in on the joke, then his actions made no sense at all. What could he possibly think was in the pretty little wooden box?

I opened the box.

Inside was a neat little note saying 'Edward can't tell when Jasper's joking.'

I looked at Edward, waiting on tenterhooks for me to scream, and I span the box around to show him. Edward frowned "maybe that's because you're not verry funny," he told his brother.

Alice and Jasper obviously disagreed. They were laughing so hard that other students stopped to stare at us.

I didn't want to offend Edward, but I couldn't stop myself from laughing just as hard. "It was pretty funny," I said, "did you really think that Jasper would hurt you? How scared of him are you, if you take such crazy threats seriously?"

"Considering Jasper's past," Edward replied stiffly, "I think that I exhibit a reasonable level of caution in my relationship with him. You couldn't see what he was thinking about just now."

I shook my head, "your family are obviously better at controlling their thoughts than you realise," I said.

"Ssh," Jasper said to me in a whisper that I could barely hear, but I was sure was very clear to Edward, "don't tell him. We like to let him think that he's omniscient." Alice and I giggled, but Edward pretended not to listen.

I looked back down at the little box and noticed that, underneath Edward's inability to recognise Jasper's sense of humour, there were several other notes already inside: 'Edward can't juggle', 'Edward can't dance en pointe', 'Edward can't roll his tongue', 'Edward can't ride a horse', 'Edward can't peel a lemon and get the rind off as one whole piece', 'Edward can't tell what colours match', 'Edward can't calm people down when they're angry', 'Edward can't jump as far as Alice can', 'Edward can't jump as high as Jasper can', 'Edward is not very good at tracking', 'Edward can't live without Bella'. I added the note that Alice had given me at lunchtime.

"This is a lovely gift," I said to Edward's siblings, "thank you."

"We're going to help you keep adding to it," Alice promised, "it'll be a nice thing for you to look at whenever you get confused and think that Edward's good at everything. There are loads of things that he can't do and we will, gradually, help you to make out a whole list."

"Come on," Jasper said, "we should get going. We'll drop you off first, Bella, then we'll go for a quick hunt before we take my very serious brother home. Unless you're afraid to ride with me, Ed?"

Edward growled at him and held open the door for Alice and me to climb into the car.

During the drive back to my house, Edward was sulking and Jasper and Alice were talking too fast for me to hear them, so I let my thoughts wander for a bit. It would be good to have dinner with Charlie and spend a bit of time with him this evening. I hadn't spent much time with him since we'd all got back from our ordeal in Italy. I thought about how much had changed in such a short time. Only a week ago I was still miserable and alone, I thought that I would never be happy again. I caught sight of Jasper's raised eyebrow in his rear-view mirror, and quickly changed my train of thoughts. I tried to think happy thoughts, of smiling and laughing, riding my motorbike with Jacob. I ought to get back in touch with Jacob. We hadn't spoken since that stupid fight. I couldn't even remember what the fight had been about. Maybe after dinner, I could call him. I was pretty sure that I hadn't promised Edward that I wouldn't phone Jacob. I was pretty sure that he'd 'given up', before he got me to agree to that. It hardly mattered how late I got to the Cullens' house. They weren't going to go to bed. That would be a good use of my evening, I could catch up with everyone.

Suddenly, Alice began singing Danny Boy. I felt a slight flash of confusion, but then I felt myself flooded with joy and delight at the sound of her voice. It was beautiful. I gazed at Alice in wonder, she was the most amazing thing that I'd ever seen and she sang with the voice of an angel. I watched her lips as she sang and found myself wanting nothing more than to spend a few minutes alone with her, just to feel her hand in mine, perhaps, if she would allow it, to press my lips against hers . . .

"Jasper!" Edward said, "you're overflowing."

"My apologies," Jasper looked sheepishly at me and the love I felt for Alice receeded. Alice had stopped singing, I could see that she was my best friend again, and I no longer wanted to kiss her. "I can't help it, when Alice sings," Jasper explains, "it's just so beautiful."

Edward snorted, "it's a little bit uncomfortable for those of us who aren't in love with her, however."

"That's amazing," I said, "is that how you feel about Alice?"

Jasper shrugged a bit, "well, you weren't feeling the full force of it," he said, "Edward said that I was 'overflowing' and that's a pretty apt description. I lost control of my own emotions for a moment and allowed a fraction of them to flow into you and Edward. I try not to do that because it is rather uncomfortable to have to fight your own family in order to get some time alone with your wife."

"It was beautiful, though," I turned to Alice, "it must be really amazing to know exactly how he feels about you."

She grinned, "it is," she said, "but I think that I'd know anyway. Jazz has many ways of showing his feelings for me, I don't always need his gift." We were just pulling up to the house and Edward swang around to open my door. Alice leapt up, "hey, let me walk you in, I want to pick a better top for you to wear this evening. I don't really like that neckline on you."

"Alice, you dressed me this morning, why would you make me wear a top you didn't like all day long?"

"I did like it this morning. But a whole day has gone by and fashion has changed. There was a big show in Paris, and now necks have to be sharp, not curved, so you need to change." Edward looked puzzled, but he walked round to open the other door for Alice, obviously manners take precedence over rationality.

"Come on," Alice said, dragging me by the hand, "I'll be back before you convince him, Edward" she called over her shoulder as we ran to my house.

As soon as we were in the house, Alice had my little notebook in her hand and began writing furiously, "humans walk so slowly," she said, talking whilst she wrote, "there's a couple of possibles in your drawer upstairs, let's go and have a look."

Bemused, I followed her up the stairs. When we got to my room, Alice handed me the note that she'd just written, whilst continuing to talk non-stop about my tops: critiquing each one in turn.

'Firstly, please try not to make decisions suddenly like that. It was very hard for me to cover my vision in time and I think that Edward is still suspicious. Secondly, I know when you're planning on seeing the wolves because your future disappears. Thirdly, do you understand that: your future _disappears_! That means that I can't tell if you're even going to survive the day. Fourthly, there is a genuine risk that you might not survive. The wolves are really dangerous and they could easily kill you without meaning to do so. Fifthly, please say 'yes Alice' right now or Edward will come in.'

"Yes, Alice," I said, wondering exactly what I had just agreed to. Alice might be able to write notes, whilst imagining future conversations, whilst talking and walking up the stairs, but I couldn't even read one thing whilst listening to another.

'Sixthly, I know that you don't want anyone telling you what to do and that you spent plenty of time with the wolves whilst we were away, but I am begging you: please try and keep yourself safe. Please reconsider your plans.'

That was the end of the note, I looked up to see a plaintive expression on Alice's face. I sighed and nodded.

"That's decided, then," she said cheerily, "this top. We'll see you after you've had dinner. Thank you, Bella," she said, smiling at me to show that she meant to thank me for agreeing to skip my planned phone call to Jacob, "I love it when you let me help you pick out clothes."

I nodded again and Alice disappeared down the stairs. By the time I'd got to the front window to wave, Jasper had driven away.

I made steak for dinner and even put together a crumble for dessert. Charlie and I had a bit of a conversation over dinner, he was worried about my college applications because he hadn't noticed me sending any in. Of course, he had good reason to be worried, I hadn't yet applied to a single college and I knew that lots of deadlines had already passed. I also knew, however, that I would be dead and a vampire before I went to college, so any applications that I made would be for the sake of an alibi only. I reassured Charlie that I had sent off a few applications already and that I had it all in hand, I simply didn't want to get excited about anywhere in particular until I'd got an offer. I don't think that he believed me, but he was happy enough just to hear that I was still planning on college and didn't intend to get married and start having kids straight out of high school. I think that he was worried, after the 'trouble' that Edward had gotten into, that Edward might be leading me astray. He hinted a few times that I should be strong enough to 'say no' and advised that I chose the college that was best for me without worrying too much about what my 'other friends, even the closest of them' might be doing. I could easily keep up friendships, even without attending the same college. His advice wasn't very helpful, but I appreciated him caring enough to give it, so the conversation went off amicably enough.

I washed and Charlie dried and then I excused myself to go and see Alice and Edward.

"You should have Alice over here for dinner, sometime," Charlie said.

"Then I wouldn't see Edward, and I like to see him too."

"Do the Cullens not mind you hanging around there all the time? I thought that Edward was meant to be grounded, that's usually intended to put a bit of a dent in a boy's social life."

"They think that I'm a good influence on him," I said, "Esme and Carlisle like having me over."

"I guess, but wouldn't your other friends like to see you too? It doesn't seem right that you should wind up stuck at home alongside Edward all the time, when you didn't do anything wrong. When was the last time you saw Jacob?"

"Only a couple of days ago, and I see plenty of people at school. Look, if it makes you feel better, I was planning on calling Jacob tonight."

"I know that it's not up to me who you're friends with. I just don't think that you ought to ditch Jake just because the Cullens are back."

"Sure, thanks Dad."

I left the house and got into the car. I hadn't decided to see Jake tonight, so Alice shouldn't be cross, I was only thinking about calling him, and I was going to see the Cullens first, that ought to count for something.

This time it didn't feel so strange to drive myself to the Cullens' house. I parked the truck, strode up to the door and knocked without hesitating.

Edward opened it instantly, he looked relieved and delighted to see me. He gave me that huge grin that made me feel special and wanted, and pulled me into his arms for a tight hug.

"I missed you," he said, "what took you so long?"

"I had to cook and then I had to eat," I told him, "being a human takes up a lot of my free time."

He chuckled. "I like that top on you," he said.

I groaned, "how come Alice didn't make you change your clothes after school?"

"There haven't been any major fashion changes in menswear yet today," he said, "besides, we have an agreement: Alice only gets to choose one of my outfits a week. She tends to plan which one that will be quite carefully."

"How on earth did you manage to make an agreement like that?"

He shrugged, "I'm afraid that I can't let you in on my secret way of handling Alice," he said, "if more than one person tried to use it, it would become exponentially less effective."

I glared at him, wondering if he'd already forgotten our 'full disclosure' agreement. Of course, it was impossible for him to forget exactly, but he might have decided to pretend that it hadn't happened or that it, for some reason no longer applied.

"I haven't forgotten our agreement," he said, "but I was hoping that you would only subject me to one difficult conversation at a time. I'm aware that you intended to complete your questioning about my mind-reading this evening. It occurred to me that you might let me off discussing anything else difficult, at least for tonight."

"Don't look so put-upon, you know that I can't force you to do anything that you don't want to do. Will you talk about mind-reading here? You're not worried about your family overhearing?"

"Almost everyone's gone out hunting, Alice is upstairs, but she's probably seen the whole conversation already anyway." I was shocked at that, I'd thought that Edward was still under house-arrest. If he wasn't grounded anymore, why hadn't he come to visit me instead? "What are you thinking?" he asked, "are you worried about being alone with me? I can call Esme and Carlisle and ask them to come back."

"Of course I'm not worried about being alone with you. I'm just surprised. I didn't think that you were allowed to be alone at the moment. I thought you were still on probabtion."

Edward grimaced, "it's difficult for them to keep watching me all the time. I've been behaving myself and I promised not to leave the house, so they thought it would be ok to leave me alone for a few hours. Alice would be able to see if I planned on leaving and Esme and Carlisle could be back within ten minutes. Jasper can tell that I'm sincere about my repentance and that I am going to obey him and Esme and Carlisle from now onwards."

"I'm glad that your family trust you again," I said.

Edward shook his head, "I'm still in disgrace," he replied, "they just don't think that I can get into much trouble in ten minutes, and it's hard to spare someone to guard me all the time. They know that I wouldn't want to risk making them any angrier right now. I'm on thin ice as it is."

I knew that he didn't like talking about this. He was upset that his family didn't trust him and ashamed that he was being treated like a teenager. But I wanted to know exactly what was going on. If I was going to be any help at all, then I had to understand.

"Edward," I said, "come and sit with me, I think that we need to have a bit of a talk."

I went and sat on one of the leather couches. Edward followed me, like a little puppy, "are you leaving me?" he asked, "if there's anything that I've done wrong, I'm sorry. If there's any part of me that you don't like, I can change it. Are you determined to leave?"

"Hush, I'm not leaving, sit down." He sat on a chair opposite me, "come and sit closer," I prompted, so he walked over and sat awkwardly next to me on the couch. I tugged at him and pulled him over, so that he was lying down with his head on my lap. He smiled and let me do it.

"This isn't a 'breaking-up' kind of talk then," he said.

"No, Edward, I love you lots and lots and you're not getting rid of me that easily."

He smiled his crooked smile, "alright, what do you want to talk about."

"Um . . . first I want to clear up the me leaving thing. Do you know that I love you?"

He nodded slowly.

"Then why do you think I'd leave? Ever since we got back from Italy, you've been scared that I'm going to leave you. Why don't you trust me?"

He frowned, "it's not that I don't trust you. It's that I don't trust me. I ruined our happiness once, I'm just waiting for the moment when I do it again. I'm just waiting for the moment when I do something so wrong that you have to leave me, like I left you."

"That's silly."

He sighed, "thank you very much, Bella."

"Well, it is silly. Obviously, I don't want you to try and mess up our relationship, but I'm not expecting you to be perfect. When our next problem arrives, we just have to make sure that we work through it together and nobody tries to run away. Agreed?"

"Emmett was right," he said, "you have grown up. I can't grow up."

"Nonsense, everyone's always telling me how much you've changed. I'm sure that you can change again whenever you want to. But, I don't want you to grow up, anyway, I like you just the way you are."

"Really? You like me being a sulky teenager who over-dramatises everything?"

I leaned in to kiss his forehead, "yup, I think it's cute," I said. "Now, are you ready for the serious conversation?"

He shook his head, but he didn't move.

I began to stroke his hair, soothing him in preparation.

"You trust me, right?" I said.

He nodded, though I could see a wary tightening around his eyes.

"Good. Now, earlier you said that you were 'on thin ice' with your family. Will you tell me what you meant?"

He shivered and shut his eyes tightly, but I kept stroking his hair, and eventually he spoke, "I meant that if I make any more wrong moves they will get rid of me."

"You think that your family are considering throwing you out, disowning you?"

"I endangered all of them. Most importantly, I endangered Jasper's mate and Jasper's the oldest member of the family. Besides, when we got back from Italy, I disobeyed Carlisle and Jasper and Esme. It's not as though I'm a newborn, I have control over myself and I refused to do as I was told. Instead I attacked my own family, in an attempt to run to you, even though they had expressly forbade it. If this had been any other coven, I would have been thrown out long ago. I'm dangerous and out of control and I brought us to the attention of the Voturi. A normal coven would have destroyed me. My family are kind and they wouldn't do that. But they must be thinking about expelling me."

"Have you ever heard any of them thinking that?"

He shook his head, "they're too kind to let me know what they're thinking. They'll hide it from me until the moment they decide to get rid of me. Then they'll ask me to leave and I'll have to go." He opened his eyes and looked at me, with utter hopelessness and sorrow "I don't know where I'll go," he said quietly.

"Edward, honey, I don't think that you have to go anywhere. Has it occurred to you that perhaps you haven't heard them thinking about getting rid of you, because they haven't been thinking about it? Even on that horrible night, when you were fighting with Jasper and Emmett, did you hear them thinking about getting rid of you, then?"

"No. But, they may have been distracted by the stress of the moment. Soon they'll realise that my usefulness doesn't outweigh the risk of keeping me."

He talked as though he was a pet and not a brother and son. I was sure that none of his family had any idea that he thought this way about them. I wondered if it was possible to make him see how ridiculous he was being. They were a family. Family don't just throw people out because they won't do as they're told.

"Do you think that your family are considering getting rid of anyone else; Alice perhaps?"

"Of course not. Alice is with Jasper. Nothing could ever split them apart. There wouldn't be the family without Alice and Jasper and Carlisle and Esme and Emmett and Rosalie. You could never split up a couple, vampires mate for life. And if you took out any one of the couples, it would destroy the family, slicing off a full third at a stroke."

"Edward, two people aren't a third, your family has seven people in, doesn't it? You're as much a part of your family as Alice is, or as Esme is, or Rosalie. Edward, you know how much you love your family? I think that they love you just as much."

Again he shook his head and he closed his eyes, "they all have each other."

"And you and I have each other, too. You're safe. You're loved. And nobody is ever going to send you away. Now, you just stay there, where you feel safe, I'm going to call Alice."

He looked confused, "why are you calling Alice?" he asked.

"Ssh," I said, stroking his hair with my free hand. He sighed and settled back onto my lap, letting me soothe him.

Alice picked up on the first ring, "are you ready for the family meeting?" she asked me.

"Yes," I said, a little puzzled as to how she knew that was what I wanted, "this is about what I think it's about, isn't it?"

"Yes, Bella," Alice said slowly, "I have visions of the future. I arranged the family meeting that you were calling me to ask me to arrange. Sometimes it saves time to plan ahead. We'll all be with you in ten minutes. But, you should stay where you are. He's going to be calmer on your lap than he would be sat at the table. It'll all go just fine."

Edward had heard both sides of the conversation, of course, and he seemed to mull it over in his head. After a minute or so, lying there, letting me stroke him, he said, "you shouldn't leave with me, I can't keep you as safe as the rest can. The loss of my gift will be a disadvantage, but Alice's gift and Jasper's will make up for it. If they don't make me go a long way away, then I'll still try to help defend you. But, vampires are usually careful to stay out of each others' territory."

"Edward, if you left, I would come with you. I'm part of you and you're part of me. We're mated, alright, just like Jasper and Alice or Carlisle and Esme or Emmett and Rosalie. But, you're not actually leaving."

"You're right," he said, "they might keep me around, as long as I remain useful, so perhaps I won't actually have to leave until the current threats are disarmed. On the other hand, though my mind-reading can come in handy, it's also pretty annoying, so they may figure that they'd rather be rid of me sooner than later."

I sighed, "I think that – strange as it sounds to say – I might know your family a little bit better than you do, Edward. Do you think that they've 'kept you around' as you put it, because it's handy to have an in-house mind-reader?"

"Most of them are quite fond of me too," he said "I think that helps. And I can do other things. I make myself useful around the house and take an interest in everyone's hobbies. I think that they've found me pleasant company."

Poor Edward, convinced that he had to provide his family with reasons to want him. I wondered if I was really going to be able to make a difference. After all, Edward had lived with Carlisle and Esme for almost a century, if they hadn't convinced him that they loved him in the course of a century, how was I going to do so in an hour?

I suppose it made sense that he would have issues. He'd been the only single one of the family for a long time. I remembered him telling me about Alice moving in and taking his room. I remembered him telling me that he didn't deserve the welcome that Esme and Carlisle had given him after his rebellious period. I remembered him telling me that Carlisle had changed him because he was lonely and sought a companion, then telling me that Carlisle had finally found his soul mate in Esme. I wondered how long Edward had felt this way. Had he always wondered if his family really wanted him? Had he believed himself to be on 'thin ice' ever since he'd returned? Had he felt that Jasper and Alice had made him redundant? Poor Edward.

He lay on his side with his head in my lap, and I stroked his hair idly. Suddenly, he span round and looked up at me.

"What is it?"

"I can hear them," he said, "they're nearly here." There was a pause, Edward looked at me, building up the courage to speak again, "Bella, I'm scared" he said finally.

"Hush, it's all going to be ok," I promised him, knowing that it was going to be fine. They weren't going to tell him to go away. They were going to tell him that they loved him and wanted him to stay with them. But I didn't know if he would believe them.

"You'll stay with me?" he asked, then he sighed, "I shouldn't have asked."

"You shouldn't need to ask," I said "of course, I'll stay with you. I'll stay with you, always."

He opened his mouth to protest, to tell me that I ought to stay with his family, to keep myself safe. Then he smiled slightly, "we'll talk about it later," he said, "for now, let me believe that I'll always have you."

Then the cars were close enough for even me to hear them. Edward sat up and leaned against me, putting his arm around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder. I shuffled a bit, making this new position comfortable and he pulled back "sorry, I should have asked, do you mind if I sit like this?"

"Of course not, I like having you close. Just let me get comfy," he smiled at me as I rearranged my legs and arms to my satisfaction. He put his head back on my shoulder and breathed in deeply.

"I love being this close to you," he said, "your scent makes me feel safe."

I heard car doors slamming, and Edward stopped speaking, just snuggled close to me. My right arm was wrapped around Edward, but my left arm was resting on my lap; Edward took my left hand in his right hand and held it gently. I heard voices, I couldn't make out what they were saying and Edward didn't seem bothered, so I didn't ask him to tell me. I finally heard Emmett as he came in the front door, "I'm just saying," Emmett's voice continued some argument that he had been having as he approached the house, "that, if the 'Edward's an Idiot' meetings are going to become a regular event, they ought to have an official name."

"It's a family meeting, Emmett," Carlisle replied, "that's a perfectly good name. I don't recall Edward talking about 'Emmett's an Idiot' meetings."

There was a bit of laughter at this, and I could discern Esme and Rosalie's laughter mixed with Emmett's.

"Of course Emmett was never this much of an idiot," Rosalie mused, "I think it's pushing it even for Edward. Maybe Alice is wrong."

"Never," I heard Alice's voice too now, "I'm never wrong."

"That's not quite true," said Esme, "and I can't help hoping that you're wrong about this. It's not that I like you making mistakes, Alice, I just can't bear to think of Edward being so upset."

"He is," Jasper sounded glum. His quiet words brought the conversation to a halt, and by the time the family joined us in the lounge, they were all silent.

"Don't get up," Alice said to us. The rest of the family nodded greetings at me and Edward and fanned out into the room, sitting cosily in couples. For a second I wondered how this had looked to Edward when he'd been to these meetings without me, when he'd been the only one with a couch to himself. Edward might have been thinking the same thing, because he nestled his cheek against me and ran his hand up and down my side, as if he was checking that I was really here.

"Right," said Carlisle, "I believe that this meeting was called by Bella, so perhaps you'll be willing to start us off, Bella."

"Er . . . sure." This had seemed like such a good idea before it started, now I was petrified. How could I have ever thought that summoning a coven of vampires and telling them to be nicer to my boyfriend was going to work? "I didn't actually know that I was going to call this meeting up until ten minutes ago, so it's a bit surprising to see it already starting. But I guess that's how things work in this family."

Alice grinned and Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper chuckled, even Esme and Carlisle smiled and I felt Edward relax a little against me, as he smiled too. That was good, start off with a joke and make sure that everyone's on your side.

"The thing is, that I came over today because I was worried about some things that Edward said and I think that, now I understand what he's been thinking, all of you need to know what he's been worried about." They all looked at me expectantly, Esme leaned forward, "Edward thinks that he's going to be thrown out of the family" I said quickly. It wasn't as neatly phrased as it could have been, but I thought that it was best just to say something.

Esme ran forward and grabbed hold of our hands. She clung to Edward's and to mine, pushing them tightly together and said, "oh, honey, why would you think that? What have we done to you?"

Emmett snorted with laughter, and Rosalie glared at him, "it's not funny, Emmett," she said.

"It is kind of funny," Emmett protested, "back me up Jasper."

Jasper shrugged, he still looked pretty glum, he probably couldn't shake off Edward's feelings.

"Oh, you're tied up with Eddie," Emmett said, "Bella, you think it's funny, don't you?"

"Not really, Emmett," he sat back with a pout and Rosalie smirked at him, "could you all start by telling Edward whether or not you've been thinking about asking him to leave, please?"

Emmett laughed again, and this time Alice giggled too.

"Of course I haven't considered asking you to leave," Esme said, still crouched in front of us and holding Edward's hand, "you're like a son to me these days. And you've been a wonderful son. You were a wonderful 'brother' too, do you remember? Oh, Edward, ever since I first became a vampire, you've been one of my closest friends and companions. I don't understand why you would think that I would ever want to live without you near me. I'm sorry that I've been angry with you recently, but I was angry because you tried to leave us forever, not because I want you to!"

Carlisle came forward to take Esme and lead her back to his side, then he looked carefully at Edward and spoke, "Edward, you were my first companion. You saved me from terrible loneliness. You comforted me while I waited for Esme to wake. You were the best man at my wedding. You've played many roles in the 'family' that we've presented to others, but you have always been a true friend and a staunch ally. Twice now, you have left me and each time I wondered what I could have done differently that might have prevented you from needing to get away. But, I have never wanted you to go. I have always sought to keep you with me. Even when you've wanted to be alone, I have preferred to have you near me. I don't understand why you would think otherwise."

"You're scared," Jasper said, "and you feel tremendous guilt and shame. That's why I'm going to say this. Do you remember the 'Jasper's an Idiot' meeting we had about two months after Alice and I had joined the family? I'd slipped three times in those short months. There were four humans dead at my hand and my eyes were bright red. I wondered if you were all going to ask me to leave, and you heard my thoughts. I recognise the feelings that you are having right now, and they are the same as those that I felt that day. You told me that I shouldn't be a fool and I shouldn't blow things out of proportion." I fought a gasp, it wouldn't do for me to be shocked at this moment, but it was pretty shocking to hear how calmly they had once discussed the death of humans. Jasper didn't look at me, he kept his eyes on Edward and he continued, "you told me that you hadn't welcomed me into this family lightly. You had all considered carefully before you decided to welcome me, and you would not recind that welcome now. I could choose to leave, but I could trust that I would not be thrown out. You told me that if I could learn to trust you and to trust Carlisle and Esme and Emmett and Rosalie as you had seen I trusted Alice, then I would find your ways easier and I would struggle less with my own nature. You were right. So, I am going to ask you to do the same now, try to trust me as I once trusted you. Try to trust your family and to believe us when we say that we want you to remain with us. You know the benefits that can come from trusting this family, it is time you took your own advice."

Alice spoke next, smiling more broadly than any of the others had, Edward loosened his grip on my hand and began tracing circles on my palm with his thumb. He was beginning to relax. "You're not going anywhere," Alice said first, "I don't only know that because I can see it, I also know that because I know that nobody will let you leave. We want you here, and you're staying. I can't believe you think that we only want you because your ability is useful. Is that really the only thing that we ever think about when we're with you? Honestly, Edward, for someone who can read minds, you seem to know remarkably little about what your family are thinking. Have you ever heard anyone think that they wish you weren't in our family?" Nobody spoke, but everyone looked at Edward curiously, "my speech is the interactive one," Alice teased him, "you're expected to reply."

"No," he said quietly, "nobody has ever let me see that thought."

"Or nobody has ever had that thought" Alice said sternly, "Edward, you know that we're not _that _good at concealing our thoughts. Apart from Bella, is there anyone here who hasn't let you overhear a secret?"

Edward shook his head.

"Again, apart from Bella, is there anyone here who has ever managed to sneek up on you or surprise you?"

Edward smiled very slightly "actually, Bella hasn't ever snuck up on me either," he said, "but I get your point, Alice."

"Really? Well, have you ever heard anyone thankful that you were part of our family? Think back, Edward."

"Yes, I have, thank you."

"When we're glad to have you around, is it because we find your ability useful?"

He sighed, "not usually, no, but sometimes that's what people think. You're all glad when I can warn you if people suspect us. Everyone has at some point asked me what someone else was thinking. You can't say that my gift isn't useful to you."

"Have we ever asked your opinion? Have we ever asked you to spend time with us? Does Emmett like to wrestle you? Does Jasper like to race you? Does Carlisle enjoy your conversations? Is Esme pleased to see you when you come home? Does Rosalie enjoy working on the cars with you? Do we all like you, Edward? You can read our minds, you can tell me the answer."

He nodded, defeated, "but, however much you all like me, I've still caused a lot of trouble lately. You would probably miss my company as well as my ability. But, you wouldn't miss the danger that I've brought upon you."

"You understand that it isn't your ability we want to keep, it's you?"

He nodded again, "thank you, Alice. I'm sorry for being so stupid."

Emmett laughed, "ah, that's ok, Eddie, that's why this is the 'Edward's an Idiot' meeting not the 'Edward's got a perfectly sensible point to make' meeting. I think it's my turn." Alice sat back with a genial wave. Rosalie smiled, I hoped that she was going to be a good choice to go last. I didn't want her to undo all the good work so far. "Right," said Emmett, "this is a bit odd, Eddie. You don't often need advice, and I don't think that I recall ever having to tell you something this obvious. You're family and nothing you do – however stupid – could ever change that. We all know that leaving Bella was stupid and telling her that you didn't love her was asinine. But, Bella seems to have forgiven you, so I guess you got away with it. We also all know that going to Italy and – unintenionally, but fairly predicatably – telling that Aro guy all about our whole family was ultra-stupid. When you got back here, you did seem a little bit crazy. A run of really stupid moves, followed by attacking your family, of course we were worried about you. So we wrapped you up and kept you safe, and we're going to continue to keep you safe until you get back in control. Nobody thinks that you're going to be crazy forever, don't worry about it so much. Obviously it sucks that you can't drive and you're stuck in the house or being watched over by Jasper all the time, but it's only because we want to keep you safe. I do wish that you hadn't done some of the stuff that you've done this year, but then I wish you wouldn't fight with Rose, and that's never stopped you. Just remember, this is pretty stupid, and it makes sense that you're a bit cut up about it, but this isn't the only stupid thing that you've ever done and it may not turn out to be the most stupid thing that you'll ever do. Try and get a bit of perspective."

"That must make it my turn," Rosalie said, smiling at me, then turning to look much more seriously at Edward. "I know that we all tease each other a lot about favourites, and I know that you don't think that you're my favourite brother, but you are my first brother and that means a lot to me. When I first met you, I didn't understand what it meant to have a brother. I only knew that you didn't want to be a husband to me, and I was hurt, because that felt like rejection. But gradually, I got to know you and I realised that you weren't rejecting me at all, you were offering me a different kind of relationship. Having a brother is great. It does mean arguing; I know that you and I argue a lot, but I think that's because we're more sibling-like than anyone else in this family. But having a brother also means having an equal, someone that you can be comfortable with and someone that you can share things with without fear of rejection. You helped me, when I was scared and I thought that nobody wanted me. Now, I guess it's come full circle. Now you're afraid that I'm going to reject you, and I'll have to try and show you what a sister is meant to be like. I might not have done a very good job in the past, and I know that I've been unkind to you since you got back from Italy. But I will try harder to be the kind of sibling that you were to me when I needed it. Maybe you'll see that having a sister can be pretty great too."

I know it's soppy, but I was choking back tears by the end of all those speeches. Edward's family really did love him, and they knew how to express their love in words. It was beautiful to hear. Alice slipped out of the room and came back with a glass of water, for which I was very grateful when I tried to talk.

"Oh," I said, "I wanted – oh" I found myself choking and spluttering, it wasn't a very impressive ending to all the beautiful speeches. I sipped my water, while the room of perfect vampires waited calmly, as if this was normal behaviour.

"She's not unhappy," Jasper said to nobody in particular, perhaps responding to a general feeling of concern and confusion, "she's moved; um, she liked what we said."

"Yes, oh, I did," I stopped to drink again, Edward rubbed his hand on my back. "I wanted to suggest something that might stop this occuring again."

"Stop what occuring again?" Emmett asked, "are you going to stop Edward being an idiot?"

"Stop calling Edward an idiot," Esme said.

"Er, no," I said, "that is, he isn't an idiot and if he was," Edward stared at me, "I wouldn't know how to stop him. No, I wanted to suggest a way to stop Edward thinking that you didn't really like him."

That got their attention, even Alice was looking at me, though she must have known what I was going to say, since I'd been planning on saying it all day, "you should all stop thinking at him." I said.

"Now, let me explain, before you comment. I know that Edward hears thoughts and that can't be controlled, but I also know that you all use his ability to speak to him. Of course, I can't 'think' at Edward, so I can only guess how it works, but I do know that you choose to think at him and that he can hear the difference between aimed thoughts and just general thoughts. I also know that it is possible to 'shout' at him with your thoughts, and I know that some of you do that." Edward grimaced a bit now, which was understandable. Rosalie and Jasper in particular were glaring at him, wondering what he'd been telling me. "What I want to suggest is that you stop thinking at Edward. If you want to tell him something, say it aloud. And never, ever yell at him in your thoughts. I don't think that anyone apart from Edward can tell if he's being yelled at by lots of thoughts at once, but I can only imagine how distressing that must be. Of course, none of you want Edward assailed with a roomful of angry thoughts, you can see how this would lead to him thinking that you all hated him. "But, let me try something. When we got back from Italy and I came over here to my very first Cullen Family Meeting, Edward told me that he didn't want me there. You all have perfect memories, so you must remember that." They all nodded. "Right, well, just as an illustration, raise your hand if you thought a message to Edward at that moment." Slowly everyone's hand went up (apart, of course from mine and Edward's). "Thanks, now, keep your hand up if you were using um . . . 'loud' thoughts." The hands all stayed up, "wow," I said, "no wonder you looked a bit miserable." Edward gave me a weary smile, I don't think that he was enjoying this part of the meeting at all. "Well, that's my point really, if you yell at Edward in your heads, then you can all end up yelling at him at the same time and he gets depressed. I also think, though again it's impossible for me to know, that you're all a little bit meaner in your heads than you are out loud. I think that it's tempting to censor your thoughts less than your speech. So I think that you probably think more harshly at Edward than you would speak to anyone else. That's the point of my suggestion. For just a few weeks, perhaps until he's not grounded anymore, and he can actually get away, I would like everyone to talk to Edward out loud and not in their heads. What do you think?"

I sat back nervously, wondering what the Cullens were going to say to me after my slightly cheeky suggestion. After all, nobody could know less about the issue than I did. I could neither read thoughts, nor send messages in my thoughts to Edward. I didn't even know if what I was asking made any sense. They might just laugh at me and say 'it doesn't work that way' or they might be angry that I would imagine they were ever sending unpleasant or critical thoughts in Edward's direction. For all I knew, all anyone ever thought were polite statements.

"I'm not sure," said Edward, "it can be convenient to think at me rather than speaking. I can hear thoughts over slightly larger distances."

"You all have cell phones," I said.

Edward sagged, "I don't know if I want to be yelled at out loud all the time," he said, "it doesn't sound better to me at all."

"Do people yell at you all the time?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Nobody yells at me all the time, but I live with six people. I can get yelled at for a large portion of the day."

"It's a good point, Bella," Esme said, "I never really thought about it before. But, if I tell Edward off in my head, I don't know if Carlisle is doing the same thing. It isn't right that Edward should always be scolded in stereo, we would never shout at the other kids simultaneously. Do we do that, Edward?"

He nodded "I expect that it's because you think along similar lines," he said, "Alice and Jasper often think the same things and so do Rose and Emmett. If you've spent a full day together, you can get completely in sync. It's romantic."

"I think we should try Bella's idea," Carlisle said, "I'm interested to find out if I do speak differently to you in my head to the way that I speak to you aloud."

"I don't see the harm," said Emmett, "though I'm not sure that there is much difference between my thoughts and my words."

"It'll be harder not being able to show him pictures," Alice said, "but we're only talking about limiting deliberate thoughts, so I guess that he'll still share my visions. I'll just have to tell him exactly what to wear, rather than showing him."

"I don't mind," Rosalie said, "though he'll still be able to hear our thoughts anyway. So he'll hear all the things that we think about saying, but don't say."

"What don't you like about it, Edward?" Jasper asked, "you've been getting steadily more uncomfortable."

"It'll sound rather hypocritical," Edward replied, "but I'm a little worried about losing my privacy. I realise that I invade all of your private moments all the time, so I have no right to complain. But I know the sorts of things that you all tell me, and the thought of hearing them all out loud, and being publically insulted does make me uncomfortable, and Jasper wanted to know what I was feeling. Sorry."

His family laughed a bit.

"The whole point is that people will stop insulting you," I told him. "Alright," I said, "that's agreed. That's all I wanted to discuss."

"Then, unless anyone else had something that they wanted to bring up," Carlisle checked around the room quickly, but nobody indicated a desperate desire to prolong the meeting, "the meeting is closed. Thank you, everyone."

"We'll see you all later," Rosalie said, getting up and pulling Emmett up with you, "goodbye, Bella, we probably won't be back down till after you've left."

"Bye, Rosalie. Bye, Emmett."

"Bye, Bella, drive safe. Sorry you're still locked up, Ed," Rosalie elbowed him in the ribs, so Emmett groaned "what's wrong. That's what I was going to 'think' so I said it instead. We all agreed that we were going to do that!"

"Edward doesn't need you teasing him."

"I wasn't teasing, I was sympathising. That was honest sympathy."

Still arguing, they disappeared upstairs.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Didn't right and don't own 'Twilight' saga or related scripts. Fanfiction doesn't make any money. It's just messing about.

"I saw you lying to Charlie" Alice told me, I thought back, trying to remember the last lie that I'd told Charlie, just before I asked her which lie she was thinking about, Alice laughed, "you told him that you'd sent off some college applications. Luckily, he'll believe you when you start to receive acceptance letters."

"Why would I start to receive acceptance letters?" I asked.

Alice grinned, "Edward, I can't warn you in my head," she said, with obvious glee, "I think that Bella might have rumbled you. I did warn you that this would happen. I can assure you that you'll be forgiven if you can wipe that smug grin off your face before she sees it."

I span round quickly to face Edward, he wasn't wearing a smug grin at all, he was glaring at Alice. He looked apologetically at me, "she's trying to get me into trouble," he said, "I was not looking smug."

"Yeah, I don't think that you were going to be in trouble because of looking smug," I told him, "I think the issue might have been your sending in college applications on my behalf. Isn't that fraud? It's definitely interfering."

"It might be fraudulent, but it would only be interfering if I actually accepted a place on your behalf. You're as free to not attend the courses as you would be if I hadn't applied for you. All I'm doing is keeping your options open, by ensuring that you could chose to attend college if you wanted to. That's the opposite of interfering. That's an open, liberating, encouraging-you-to-make-your-own-decisions approach."

"Now you look smug, this is the moment that I was warning you about" Alice said.

Edward hurriedly changed his expression for a pleading look, "am I forgiven?" he asked.

"You can't have it both ways: either you did nothing wrong, or you want to be forgiven. Which will it be?"

He looked at Alice, but she shook her head, "I'm not helping" she said, "I thought it was a bad idea." Edward tried Jasper, but he just laughed, "Bella isn't going to hurt you, so you're on your own."

"Fine," Edward looked back at me, tipped his head on one side in an exaggerated pose of thoughtfulness, "I did my best to do something helpful, but I may have made a mistake and been a little interfering, in which case I am very sorry and I beg forgiveness."

"You're interfering, but you're forgiven. So, where have I applied?"

Before Edward could answer, my cell phone rang. I literally jumped into the air. All the Cullens were sat right by me, who on earth could be calling my cell?

I picked it up and said, "hello?" slightly hesitantly.

I heard a deep throaty laughter on the other end, "scared of technology, Bells? I don't think your cell is going to bite you."

"Hey, Jake. I was going to call you tonight."

"Then I saved you a job. I wanted to apologise for the last time I saw you. I wasn't my usual friendly self. It's just hard to see you taking him back after everything. But, I am going to be nicer, I promise! I was wondering if the studying together offer was still open?"

I looked up to check Edward, who could of course hear every word Jacob said just as clearly as I could, was glaring at me. He looked furious that I would have offered to study with Jake. And, though I'm not proud of it, that just made me angry.

It wasn't fair. I'd told Jacob that I'd help him with school stuff. Then Edward had made me promise that I'd never see him again. How could I explain that to Jake?

"Um . . . I can't see you tonight, Jake. How about I call you later? It's kind of hard to talk here."

"Why where are you?" Then I heard him swallow, "oh, you're with the Cullens. Alright, Bells. Don't worry about the studying thing. I'll manage. I will not be defeated by Pythagoras' theorem!" he tried to sound cheerful, but it was twisting my stomach to hear him sound so disappointed.

"I really will call, Jake, alright?"

"Sure, sure, bye, Bells."

I missed Jacob. The Cullens were fun and I loved spending time with them. But I really wished that I could see Jacob as well. What if he really did need help with his maths? What kind of a friend was I being, just leaving him to struggle? He was already behind.

Maybe I could just go over quickly, just this once, help Jake out and then go back home. Alice couldn't see the wolves. Edward was grounded. Would they ever know? I glanced at Alice quickly to see if my vague thought had triggered a vision of blackness, but she was talking to Jasper about something. If I just kept it as a possible thought and didn't make any plans until I'd got home, surely Alice wouldn't see. Edward would never know. Then it didn't really count as breaking a promise at all. It was just helping out a friend.

Edward had recovered from his instinctive Jacob's-on-the-phone anger, and was reaching out to take my hand. I let him pull me over to sit with him. "Let's not talk colleges now. I'll make you a list of places. Why don't we actually enjoy ourselves for a bit? It's starting to seem like the only thing we do together is sit through deep and meaningful conversations with my family."

"We should play Poker," Alice said, "Edward can't read Bella's hand."

"He can read yours and mine," Jasper reminded her.

"It's worth it to see Bella play Edward," Alice answered.

Jasper shrugged, "alright, what will we play for?"

"Secrets," said Alice. While Jasper performed some impressive shuffling displays with a crisp new pack of cards, Alice dealt out ten coloured chips to each of us. "Bella's yellow, I'm pink, Edward's blue and Jasper's green. We'll keep what we win and use them to buy secrets off each other until they're all gone."

"So, if I can keep all the yellow chips I won't have to tell anyone my secrets and if I can get hold of green chips, I can use them to force Jasper to tell me his?" I clarified.

"Exactly," Alice grinned, "it'll be fun. Of course I remember, Edward," she said, too annoyed to wait for him to ask her the question that she was answering, "but this time it'll be fine. Rosalie and Esme aren't playing."

"Last time we played for secrets, it led to unpleasant results," Jasper told me, "are you sure that it's safe, darlin'?"

"Yep."

Jasper shrugged and went back to his shuffling. I loved the way he trusted Alice. As long as she was sure, he was happy, he never argued with her or questioned her visions. I wondered how long we would have to be together before Edward and I trusted each other like that.

Edward excused himself to make me a snack. He wouldn't let me get up to help him, which was probably silly. I think that I was more at home in his kitchen than he was. It took him ages just to find some juice and a bag of chips. He seemed a bit irritable when he got back to the table, but he calmed down when Jasper dealt the cards and started the game.

Because there were only forty chips on the table, they moved around pretty fast. Theoretically they were all of equal value, but it soon became apparent that the yellow chips were more eagerly fought for. I didn't want to lose my secret-chips to anyone, and all the vampires were quite eager to have them. I suppose that I was slightly more mysterious, being the only one who didn't live with the others. I noticed that Jasper was also rather fond of the pink chips and Edward seemed to want green ones. But most of all, we all fought for control of the yellow chips. By the end of the game, I had five yellow chips, three pink, six green and eight blue. I grinned broadly at Edward as I swept them all into my purse.

"We could add that to the list," I told him, "you're not really very good at poker."

He scowled, "I'm not usually allowed to play," he said, "and I didn't realise that you were so good at reading me."

"People who can't read minds tend to practice reading faces," I told him. "Now, I'm going to have to go home. I'm rather looking forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"Aren't you worried about the other five yellow chips?" Edward asked me.

Then I noticed that the vampires had all spirited away their winnings.

"Who has them?" I asked.

They all grinned broadly at me.

"You'll find out," Alice said, "I'm looking forward to tomorrow too."

When I got home, Charlie opened the door and said, "You're home early."

I looked at my watch, it wasn't nine, there would be time for a brief visit to La Push. "Actually, I was thinking about going out again, stopping by Jake's and helping him decipher some equations. You don't mind?"

"You're a big girl, Bella. You probably shouldn't stay late, but it'll be good for you to see Jake."

I clambered back into the truck and started up the engine. The truck spluttered but wouldn't start. It was out of gas. I sat there for a minute, wondering what was going on. Then I stomped back into the house.

"What's wrong?" Charlie asked.

"Truck's out of gas," I said, "the fuel gauge must be faulty. I'll call Jake instead."

Charlie nodded.

He didn't seem surprised that there was a little problem with the truck, it was an old car after all. But, I knew there was nothing wrong with the fuel gauge and I knew that I'd filled up only two days ago. Someone had messed with my car, and I had a pretty good idea who it was. Well, that explained what I was going to do with at least one of my secret-chips.

I picked up the phone and dialled Jacob's number, "Black residence."

"Hey, Jake, it's Bella. I was going to come over and see you tonight, but the truck's out of gas."

"Why do you sound angry, did someone tamper with your truck?"

"Yeah, that's what I think" I kept my voice vague and light, so that Charlie wouldn't get concerned.

"Do you want me to deal with that for you?"

"No, I've got it in hand. I'll probably take it in for a service tomorrow." Jake laughed, "in the meantime, can you come over here instead?"

"Sure, sure, I'll get a lift with Sam."

"A lift?"

"Yeah, it's quicker than driving."

I hung up, rather confused. How was it quicker to get a lift than it was to drive? And why was Sam coming this way at this time of night anyway? It didn't make any sense.

It didn't make any sense until there was a knock at the door and I saw Jacob standing there without a shirt on. Of course, it was quicker for him to run than it was for him to drive and he claimed he was getting a 'lift' so that he wouldn't have to explain the absence of his car to Charlie. We sat in the kitchen, and I made us both some tea.

"There are um . . . bats in your garden," Jacob said, "they're local bats, so I don't want you to panic, but I wondered if you knew."

Bats, huh, very funny, I thought.

"I didn't know," I told him, "but I'm not surprised. I know that we get them sometimes."

"Every night," Jacob said.

I looked pointedly at him, wondering how he knew that the Cullens were in my garden every night. "What?" he asked, "at least one of my friends goes out every night."

"Walking their dogs?" I asked. Two could play at this game. Creating a code so that we could talk in front of Charlie made sense. But calling the Cullens 'bats' wasn't very nice, and if Jake was going to do that, then I was going to call his Pack 'dogs'.

Jake scowled at me, "the female's tiny," he said, "and the male's blond."

"Silly Jacob, you don't get blond bats," I said, wondering what Charlie would think if he was listening. Probably that we were having a very strange conversation, but at least he wouldn't hear us talking about mythical creatures. "You only get blond people, like Rosalie and Jasper, they're blond."

Jacob nodded, "Jasper's the one who you said was really empathic, isn't he?" So that's who was out there.

"Empathic, that's a long word for this late into the evening. Yeah, he is."

"Talking of long words," Jacob tossed his maths book down on the table, "I didn't only come here to chat, you know."

I laughed at him. We got to work. Jacob had missed a lot of class, and it was surprising how much use I really was to him. I remembered most of the stuff that he was doing, and the rest of it we were able to figure out between us. It was amazing to be doing something so normal. I really ought to spend more time on typical teenage tasks. Perhaps that's why I miss Jacob so much. Nothing is normal with the Cullens. Whereas, with Jake, almost everything is normal, right up until he turns into a giant dog.

Jacob must have been thinking along similar line, because he suddenly said "I don't think of you as a spy, you know, I think of you as a friend first." He was obviously remembering Edward's comment from the other day. I grimaced. It wasn't great to think about Edward being like that. "What's wrong?"Jacob asked.

"I made Edward tell me what he'd said when Sam was on the phone with him."

"Oh, and I reminded you about it just now. I didn't do that intentionally. Um . . . are you still upset?"

"No, I don't think so. He was very apologetic."

"He must be practising that a lot lately," Jacob said, "what with leaving you, nearly getting you killed and all that jazz."

I laughed slightly, "if you knew him, you'd be more sympathetic," I said.

Jacob shrugged, "Charlie knows him, and Charlie doesn't seem all that sympathetic," he said, "I think that Charlie would be pretty happy to kill him, or at least, drive him to the airport."

"Dad'll get over it. I really do love Edward and Dad will see that in the end."

Jacob shivered, making me feel guilty for talking about loving Edward.

"I'm sorry," I told him, "I'm just so glad that you're still talking to me. It feels natural to just talk to you about everything. It's weird thinking that I shouldn't really talk to my closest friend about my boyfriend."

Jacob nodded, "I'll try to listen," he said, "it's just that your boyfriend is a jerk and it's hard to resist telling you that." He saw that I wanted to say something and he pre-empted me "please don't tell me that he's misunderstood, I couldn't bear to hear you say something that silly."

"I wouldn't say that," I responded, "he isn't misunderstood, except by you. I understand him perfectly well. And he isn't a jerk. Hang on."

I went over and opened the back door. "Alice and Jasper," I whispered, "don't you dare tell Edward that I sat here in the kitchen discussing whether or not he was a jerk. If you're here to guard me, that doesn't mean that you should also spy on me and report everything that I say to Edward. Alright?"

Jacob chuckled, "I think they're replying" he said, indicating the text message that had just reached my phone 'Alright, Bella, sheesh, relax.'

He read the message over my shoulder and laughed again, "I like Jasper," he said.

"Why do you think that was from Jasper? It came from Alice's phone."

"Because I heard her say, 'hey, Jazz, give that back' just before the message arrived" he said.

"Well, Jasper ought to know by now that he can't manipulate emotions by text message," I said angrily, "obviously, I haven't relaxed."

"Obviously," said Jacob. "Look, if they've agreed not to carry tales back to your jerk boyfriend . . ."

"Jake! You're not allowed to call him that."

"Fine, if they've agreed not to carry tales back to Alice's little brother . . ."

"It doesn't exactly work like that. He can read their minds, so he'll know what they're thinking about when they return home."

"Whatever, none the less, can we talk about Friday?"

"Friday?" I couldn't remember anything that had happened on Friday.

"Have you forgotten about our date already?"

"Oh, you mean this Friday! Oh, Jacob! Don't say that we're going on a date. Do you want to give Edward a heart attack?"

Another text message arrived, 'we're getting out of hearing range, Bella, just before you agree to go on a date with him!'

"It's not a date!" I shouted. I heard Charlie chuckle from the front room, mixing with Jacob's laughter in the kitchen.

Sighing, I hit one of my speedial numbers, "Alice, it isn't funny and it's not a date," I said the instant the ringing ceased.

"What isn't a date, Bella?"

Jacob was rolling on the floor with laughter, "who is that with you?" Edward asked "and what is he laughing at? Bella, I don't think that I like this. Perhaps I should come over there and see for myself."

"You can't come over, Edward," I said as calmly as I could. "You have to trust me when I say that everything is fine. I intended to call Alice."

"I know that," he said, "but you wanted to tell Alice that 'is isn't funny and it's not a date' and then I heard a man with you rolling around laughing. Of course I trust you, so I know that there's an innocent explanation. I'm just waiting for you to give it to me."

I froze. I pushed the phone away from me and stared at it. I was just wondering whether breaking it would help.

Jacob stopped laughing and looked concerned, "are you afraid of him, Bells?" he asked me, "here, give me the phone" he easily took it out of my hand and began talking rapidly, "hey, Cullen, this is Jacob Black, listen to me, man. You've frightened her. I don't know why she's scared. You didn't threaten her as far as I could hear, but she's frozen up and she looks terrified, so you're going to have to back off." There was a pause, Edward replied just as quickly, and I couldn't hear what he was saying, "don't be stupid. I'm in complete control. From the sound of it, you're the one who's struggling to control yourself. I was laughing, man, not phasing, laughing." Again a pause while Edward spoke, "yeah, well, I'd be worried about you being anywhere near her right now. You've got her frozen with fear by asking a couple of questions over the phone. Even your family don't think that you should be here. Now, calm down, because I'm going to hang up. I'm going to calm Bella down and put her to bed. If your mummy and daddy will let you, you'll see her at school tomorrow. And, you know what, if I find out that you've given her another reason to be afraid of you, then I will save you a trip to Italy, got it?" Edward answered loudly and frantically, but Jacob just said, "hah" and hung up the phone.

"Alright, Bells?" he said, the concern in his voice brought Charlie running in.

"What happened?" Charlie asked.

Jacob sighed, "she accidentally dialled him on her phone," he said, "he was a bit confused when he heard my voice, and then Bella just froze up. She held the phone out and wouldn't talk to him. I had to persuade him not to come straight over here."

Charlie sighed and shook his head, "did you hear what he said before she froze?"

Jake nodded and said, "it wasn't threatening at all. I wouldn't have just sat here if he'd been threatening her. He said that he trusted her and he was sure that there was 'an innocent explanation' but that he wanted to hear what it was. That's all."

"Bells," Charlie said gently, "are you alright?" I nodded. "Can you talk to me?"

"I'm fine, Dad. I was just surprised and I didn't know what to say, that's all. I'm tired."

"Are you scared of Edward?" Charlie asked me, "we can protect you from him. If he frightens you, I can make sure that he never sees you again. You don't have to worry about meeting him at school or in town, I can keep him away from you. All you have to do is nod, honey, are you scared of Edward?"

"No, Dad, no, of course I'm not. I was just surprised, that's all. It was an embarrassing moment and I was tired and I didn't know what to say. I love Edward, he doesn't scare me at all."

Jacob and Charlie looked at each other.

"I'm going to bed," I said, "I'll see you on Friday, Jake?"

"Sure, sure, I'll pick you up at seven," he said.

I nodded and continued out of the room, wishing them both goodnight. I knew that they would talk about me after I went to bed, but I couldn't bear to hang around listening to what they said. I curled up hugging myself in bed, wishing that Edward could be there with me. I didn't sleep well.

In the morning, Charlie came in to check on me one last time before he went to work. He made me promise that I would tell him if I was ever afraid of Edward, even if it was only for a little while. I couldn't tell him that I was already afraid of how I was going to explain last night, it wasn't the kind of fear that Charlie meant.

"I'm going to stay until you head off today, Bells," Charlie told me, "I don't need to get into work until a bit later this morning. I thought it might be nice if I was here when they arrived. I could help out with the um . . . awkwardness after last night. And, I'd like to catch up with um . . . Jasper too."

I smiled, "you don't need to be here, Dad, but I'm sure Jasper will be glad to have a chance to chat."

I showered and dressed and, sure enough, Jasper's car pulled up about ten minutes earlier than usual. All three of them got out and came to the front door. Jasper rang the bell, Edward and Alice hung back a little.

Charlie answered the door with a fake smile that quickly became real (thank Jasper for that!), "hi," he said, "you're a bit early today, do you have time for a chat?"

"Certainly," Jasper smiled warmly, "it's very good to see you Chief Swan."

"Call me Charlie, please," he said, "are you kids coming in?" he asked Alice and Edward.

They smiled and walked into the hallway.

"Hi, Jasper. Hi, Alice. Hi, Edward" I stood there like an idiot, waiting for one of them to make the next move.

Edward stepped forward, reached out as if he wanted to take my hand, but then thought better of it and dropped his hands to his side. "Are you ok, Bella?" he asked, "um . . . that phone call last night was a bit odd. I think that you dialled your phone accidentally. Did you have a good time with Jacob?"

"Yeah," I said, "it was nice to see him."

"Good. Um . . ." he looked around, as if he was a bit embarrassed to be saying this in front of everyone, but couldn't really ask them to leave, "are you mad at me for some reason?"

"No," I was genuinely surprised. How could he have thought that was a sensible question, he didn't have forbidden people over to his house and then ring me up to laugh about it.

"Oh, I thought that you didn't seem happy with me last night or this morning. You're looking at me a bit strangely."

"No I'm not."

Edward struggled not to laugh at that. Everyone else just let themselves laugh.

"I was wondering if I could have a quick word," Charlie asked Jasper. At least Edward had managed to convince him that I would be safe if Charlie stepped out of the room for a few seconds.

He smiled winningly, "sure," he said, "stay here Alice, Edward, I won't be long." He followed Charlie into the kitchen.

"So," I said, when I guessed that Charlie was out of earshot, "why would I be mad at you? What have you done?"

He grinned, "nothing that you've found out about yet," he said, "so I'm free and clear."

"Um . . . can we go outside?" I asked.

Edward shook his head, "Jasper told us to wait here," he said, "I don't think that he wants us out of earshot."

Alice nodded, "he won't be long, then we can get going. We won't be late, Bella."

"So, when are you seeing Jacob next?" Edward asked with forced brightness. I didn't think that Charlie would buy any of this. It was obvious that Edward would hate Jacob.

"Friday evening," at least I never had to worry about surprising Edward. If he asked a question like that, I could be pretty sure that he knew the answer, "we're going to the cinema."

"That'll be good. What are you going to see?"

"I don't know. It's Jake's choice. Last time we went, I chose the movie and it was awful, so this time Jake's choosing"

"Hopefully, he'll chose something good," Edward said. I wondered exactly how long he could keep this bland conversation going, but then Alice decided to help.

"There's a good action movie opening this weekend. I caught a preview. I think that you'd like it Bella, there's plenty of action, but a few funny lines as well. Of course, there's also a horror movie out at the moment, but I don't think that Jacob would take you to see that."

I smirked, it was good to know something that Alice and Edward didn't know. The two of them were usually almost omniscient. Perhaps that was an extra benefit of hanging around with the wolves. It was kind of freeing to spend time somewhere that Alice couldn't see. It was funny that Alice should be so sure that Jake wouldn't consider taking me to see a horror movie. I'd been the one who'd dragged him to a horror movie and he'd laughed all the way through. I was beginning to realise that there was a lot the Cullens didn't know about me, and I relished that thought.

"What's funny about that?" Edward asked me, seeming annoyed that he didn't understand what I was smirking about.

"I know something you don't know," I teased him.

Edward and Alice exchanged glances, then they both frowned simultaneously. They were used to filling in the gaps in one another's knowledge, but with my silent mind and Alice's wolf-blindness, they were both clueless.

Before they had a chance to press me further, Jasper returned to the hallway, closely followed by a cheerful Charlie. Charlie slapped Jasper on the back and said "thanks for talking, Jazz, I feel a lot better about it all now. Now, Edward, Jazz tells me that you have something that you wanted to say to me."

Edward grimaced. He looked over at Jasper, who said sternly, "come on, Edward, we don't have all day."

So Edward took a deep breath, looked Charlie in the eye and said, "I wanted to apologise for my recent behaviour. I acted without due consideration for Bella's welfare and without thinking about how much you would worry about her. I made you concerned and I put Bella in danger because of my own thoughtlessness. I am truly sorry. I know that doesn't help anything, but I wanted you to know how sorry I am. If there is anything that I can do in order to make amends, I hope that you will tell me. I am trying to take responsibility for my actions."

Charlie stared at Edward, for a second I thought that he was going to start shouting, but then his face changed completely and he began to smile. "It took a lot of guts for you to apologise to me, kid," he said to Edward, "I can't say that it's alright, because it isn't. But I am glad that you apologised. I will give some thought to amends and I'll let you know if I can think of anything, alright?"

"Thank you, sir," Edward said. He looked pleadingly at Jasper again, and I saw Charlie's smile widen.

I glared at Jasper, wondering if pushing too many emotions on my father at once could cause lasting damage. Jasper smiled innocently back and said, "come on, kids, we don't want to be late", herding us all out of the door and towards his car. Charlie waved goodbye, before getting into his cruiser.

Edward walked over to the back of the car, Jasper looked at him, then said quietly, "you can sit up front, Edward." Edward held open the door and Alice scooted across the seat, I climbed in after her. Edward was in the passenger seat before I had a chance to do my seatbelt up. Jasper was smiling at him, "you're jealous that Alice gets to sit next to Bella," he said, "that's pretty funny".

"Apparently the whole world is full of humour that I don't appreciate this morning," Edward answered gruffly.

"Don't sulk," Alice told him, "I'm as curious as you are. Bella, what is funny about you going to see a horror movie with Jacob?"

I turned to tell her that I wasn't going to say, but then I saw a little yellow circle held in her outstretched palm. I sighed and took it, ah well, that meant that there were only four of my chips left in play, I wondered who held them. "I told you that I'd already seen a movie with Jacob. Well, that movie was a horror movie, it was a zombie film. It was funny that you would think that Jacob would never consider taking me to a horror movie, when I'd dragged him out to one. It was funny that you didn't know what I was like while you were gone."

"What were you like?" Edward asked.

I shook my head, "nope," I said, "one chip buys you one secret, you can hear about my trip to the cinema, but you can't hear any other secrets unless you pay."

"Who went on that cinema trip?" Alice asked.

"Me, Jacob and Mike," I said, "that sounds weird and it was. But, it wasn't meant to be that exact combination. I'd agreed to go to the cinema with Jacob, because . . . of something else that I don't want to talk about; but Jacob seemed to think that it was a date, so I invited a few other people along. Angela and Ben were meant to come too, but they got sick and cancelled at the last minute and I ended up going with Jacob and Mike. In the event, we didn't see the whole movie because Mike got sick and we had to leave early. But that didn't matter, because it was a terrible movie anyway. There, now, that's pretty funny! And neither of you knew anything about it, which made me laugh because you like to think that you know everything between the two of you."

Jasper laughed with me now, he understood what I meant about the nearly-omniscient Cullens.

"What were you like when we were gone?" Edward asked again, this time he held out another one of those cursed yellow discs. He raised his eyebrows at me and watched me take it.

"Fine," I said, that only left three discs out there, but this wasn't a secret that I had planned on revealing, "I was like a zombie," suddenly I began laughing again.

"What?" Edward was frustrated, "what's funny now?"

"I was like a zombie and I made Jake take me to a zombie movie, that's funny," I said.

"No it isn't," Edward replied.

I looked over to Alice, but she shook her head, I looked at Jasper, "not really very funny, Bella," he said, "more depressing."

"You're only depressed because Edward is," I told him, "Edward carries enough angst to depress three Jaspers."

Alice laughed, "that's kind of funny," she said, "but, you being so miserable that you were like a zombie isn't funny at all."

"It's not that bad," I lied, "I was kind of numb for a lot of the time."

Edward sighed. Then Jasper sighed, overwhelmed with Edward's guilt and pain. I giggled again, "are you always this knocked about by your little brother's mood swings?" I asked Jasper.

He didn't answer, he just looked glumly ahead. I shrugged and rifled through my bag until I found my purse. Then I pulled out one of the green chips and held it out.

Jasper looked at it quizzically, "really?" he said, "I thought that you'd use them to find out about Edward's emotions. But, I guess that you've always been curious about my ability. I'm not always 'knocked about' by Edward's emotions, as you put it. It's only the really strong emotions that I can't resist sharing. Most of the time, I can tell what others are feeling, but I don't have to experience the feelings for myself. It's also harder for me to block out my family's emotions than it is for my to block out the emotions of others. Before I joined the Cullen family, I was rarely hit with the full force of another's emotions. I knew what they felt, but it was as though I could observe the feelings without being swept up into them. When I met Alice, that changed, I found it harder to resist her emotions – she's still the hardest for me to block, when Alice feels something, I can't help but feel it too – and then, as I got to know the Cullens I found that their emotions could infect me just as hers do. Just now, for example, Alice and Edward both felt a surge of guilt and pain and sorrow, it was too strong for me to resist, and I already felt something of it for myself, so it was impossible for me to shake it."

"Why do you feel guilty?" I asked him, "you didn't decide to leave me."

"I tried to kill you," he told me, looking at me as though I was crazy.

"You didn't mean anything by it," I said, "it's just what happens when you smell blood. And it's hardly your fault that I smell so very tempting." I giggled.

"Again, Bella," Edward said with a sigh, "not funny at all."

"Alright," Jasper said, "we're here." Edward held the door for me and Jasper held the door for Alice.

"You should work on your sense of humour," I told Edward, as he walked me to class, "you miss a lot of jokes."

He rolled his eyes, "there's nothing funny about you being miserable or about my brother trying to kill you," he said.

"Of course there is. The best jokes are those that are written about difficult or tense situations. The whole point of a sense of humour is that it helps to keep you going when things are at their bleakest."

Edward grinned suddenly. "If I have permission to buy you a gift," he began slowly, "that means that you can't be annoyed when I give it to you and you have to enjoy receiving it."

I glared at him. When had I given him permission to buy me a gift? All I could remember was a joking conversation about building me a house. If Edward had built me a house, I was definitely going to be furious. Edward was holding a pretty green gift box in his hand. It was about the size of a large box of chocolates. Well, at least it wasn't a house. It couldn't be flowers either, Edward wouldn't put flowers in a box. He held it out, smiling at me, hoping that I was going to be pleased.

I tried not to scowl as I took the box. It was tied with a green organza ribbon. I laughed at that: Edward had decided not to risk wrapping paper with me anymore. He was watching expectantly, so I untied the ribbon and opened the box. Inside was a book: a hard-back copy of Thomas Hardy's 'Far from the Madding Crowd'.

"I thought it was suitable," Edward said, "it's the only one of his books with a really happy ending."

It was a lovely, thoughtful, modest gift. I was touched. "Thank you, Edward," I said, "this is a really nice gift."

He beamed at me. He took the empty gift box and tossed it into a nearby bin. Then he slipped his hand around my waist and steered me to class.

"Thank you," he said quietly, "for letting me give you something." He sounded so happy that I had liked the book, I wished that I could let him shower me in diamonds. It would make him happy, but it would make me feel awkward and weird. Maybe I ought to try and be a bit more flexible about things.

When I sat down at my desk, I saw an envelope laid in the middle of my desk. I looked at it in confusion, had Edward been unable to stop himself at one book? Edward smiled his crooked smile at me. He didn't seem worried about it, so I opened it. Inside was a little square of paper 'Edward can't tell jokes'.

I laughed, "hey, whose handwriting is that, Edward? They agree with me about your terrible sense of humour."

"Alice," he said, "and it's not true. I tell jokes."

"Really? I don't think that I've ever heard you. Maybe that explains why you never laugh at my jokes" I said, thinking about the car ride, when he'd repeatedly told me that I wasn't being funny. "You just don't have a sense of humour."

"I have a perfectly functional sense of humour," he said, looking a bit irritated now, "and I can be funny when the occasion warrants it."

"Prove it," I said, grinning evilly, "tell me one of your many jokes."

He glared, "it's very hard to be funny on command," he said, "and I'm not in the mood to tell jokes now."

"Well, I'll just keep this in my box with all the others," I said, carefully folding the square of paper and tucking it into my purse, "then, if you can tell me a joke that makes me laugh, I'll destroy it."

I think that Edward might have liked to spend a bit more time attempting to persuade me that he could be funny if he needed to be, but the teacher arrived and started the lesson. Edward at least pretended to be an attentive student in all our classes. I could see why Jasper accused him of being too serious. Even though he didn't really need to listen to the lecture, he followed every word and took extensive notes. I wondered if he had behaved like this every time he'd attended high school. Had he ever misbehaved in class, just to see what it was like?

Trying to imagine a badly behaved Edward made me laugh. I pictured him failing to hand in a term paper, but he would apologise so charmingly, that wouldn't cause any trouble at all. I pictured him throwing paper planes around the classroom, it was a ridiculous image, completely un-Edwardian and it made me giggle. I imagined him talking in class, passing notes, kicking the chair of the person in front of him. It was funny to imagine Edward misbehaving, but I couldn't imagine Edward in trouble. If a teacher tried to tell him off, he would respond so calmly and smoothly that they would end up apologising to him 'I'm sorry to have distracted you, Mr Cullen, I can see that I ought to have let you get on with throwing your desk through the window, please don't let me get in your way'.

"Are you amused by the Theory of Relativity, Miss Swan?" my real teacher asked, pulling me up sharply from my day dream.

I noticed Edward looking at me just as curiously, and I couldn't resist it: "Edward made me laugh," I said, "sorry."

"What did you say, Mr Cullen? I assume that it was related to the class."

"Of course, sir," Edward looked at me accusingly, "I was repeating a quotation. Einstein is supposed to have said: 'Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.' Apparently, Bella thought that was funny. I apologise for disturbing the class, I will keep my comments to myself in future."

I giggled again, slightly impressed that Edward had a relativity joke. He was far too good at thinking on his feet, no wonder I could never win an argument with him.

"Well, actually, Mr Cullen, your quotation is an interesting way of describing the theory . . ." he drifted back into his lecture and Edward returned to his pretence at paying attention. He very deliberately didn't even look at me for the rest of the class. I wasn't sure if that was because he didn't want to get into trouble or if it was because he was annoyed with me.

Edward waited until the end of lesson before saying "what was that for?"

"I was telling the truth," I said, "you did make me laugh. I was thinking about you and it made me laugh."

"I thought that I wasn't funny," he said, "what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about how impossible it was for you to get into trouble. You're always so perfectly well behaved, I wondered if you would be able to get in trouble if you tried."

"Then you thought that it would be funny to experiment," Edward sighed, "please say that you're not planning on trying to get me into trouble in every class today. Carlisle doesn't think it's funny when he gets called into school for us."

"Have you ever been in trouble at school?"

Edward shrugged. "You're the one who said that I was always 'perfectly well behaved', how could that lead to me getting into trouble?"

Wow, he was dodging the question. He didn't want to tell me if he had ever been in trouble at school. I fished around in my bag until I found my blue chips. "Here," I said, "now you have to tell me all about you getting into trouble at school."

He groaned, "I knew Alice was too keen to play poker last night," he said, "I'll have to write it down, I can't risk getting overheard telling a story that happened so long ago."

"Alright, but you'd better put in details."

He spent most of our Biology lesson writing. I never saw him write anything other than Biology notes, but he must have managed to finish his story at some point because he slid a paper over the desk to me at the end of the lesson, just in time for me to read it over lunch.

When we got to the cafeteria, Edward left me at the table with his story, while he fetched some lunch. He didn't complain again about my forcing him to tell me, but he looked a bit worried. I hoped that it wasn't going to be anything too awful, surely he wasn't going to have written a story about killing people. I knew that he'd talked about 'slipping up', but I didn't think that he would consider that to be a good story to tell me. Still, if that was the only thing that he'd ever done wrong at school . . .

'I was at school in 1952, and the teachers were somewhat stricter than they are today. We were expected to rise when a teacher entered the room and never to speak unless we were called upon. As you can imagine, the lessons were very quiet and well ordered affairs.

'I was in one class and Emmett and Rosalie were in the class across the hall from me. One afternoon, on a day when we were planning to hunt after school, I was sat in my classroom (paying attention and behaving like the 'perfect' student you teased me for being today) and I heard Emmett think about feeding on the girl in front of him.

'As it later turned out, it was only a passing thought and I need not have worried, but the image was so clear in his mind, that I panicked. I got up from my desk and ran to the front of the classroom, barely remembering to keep to a human pace. The teacher, Mr Davison, saw me get up and ordered me back to my seat. When I ignored him, he attempted to block the doorway. I pushed past him and ran out of the room.

'I slammed into Rosalie and Emmett's classroom, not checking to see if there was anyone behind the door. Their teacher, unfortunately a rather slight woman called Miss Black, got caught by the door as I came in; she fell to the ground and cut her arm.

'At this point I realised that Emmett was in control of himself – or at least, had been in complete control of himself until I caused Miss Black's blood to flow – he was not even considering attacking his classmate any longer. The scent of the blood hit him and he stood up to approach.

'I crouched over Miss Black's prone body in a defensive position. Emmett approached me, Rose called him back, promising him goodness knows what if he would relax and leave Miss Black alone. Mr Davison had followed me into the classroom, he saw me on top of Miss Black and drew some perfectly sensible conclusions considering the evidence that was available to him.

'Emmett's behaviour, of course, appeared far more sane than my own. Seeing his younger brother rush in and attack his teacher, he rose to defend her, but soon saw that it was unnecessary for him to offer his assistance, since Mr Davison was easily able to restrain me.

'It was, however, impossible for me to excuse myself adequately I was taken to the headmaster's office and Carlisle was called in to come and collect me. He wasn't at all amused. The school had to be allowed to believe that I had been consuming illegal substances and that Carlisle and Esme responded in the only acceptable manner for the time. They told everyone that they were sending me away to military school. We moved shortly after that incident.'

Edward had returned whilst I'd been reading and he pushed a plate towards me "you do need to eat," he said.

"You pushed over two teachers and everyone thought that you were on drugs," I started laughing uncontrollably.

That was when Alice and Jasper arrived, "what's so funny?" Alice asked.

"You already saw," Edward told her, in his clipped, irritated voice.

"I know, but I want to hear Bella say it, and it'll make her laugh again" Alice said, "besides, I haven't told Jazz yet."

I held out the paper to Jasper, "I can't – tell – can't stop laughing" I spluttered, "Edward – pushed people over – drugs – military school."

Jasper was already smiling, but when he read the paper – much more quickly than I had done, of course – he began laughing just as hard as I was.

Even Edward was laughing, once Jasper started.

"I don't understand why you picked that story," Alice told him, "why didn't you tell her about that competition that you and Emmett had in Canada? Isn't that slightly less humiliating for you?"

I laughed again, "that's great," I told Alice, "I still have seven of his secret-chips. I can get the Canada story out of him this afternoon."

"It's not that hard to get Edward into trouble at school," Jasper told me, "the trick is to annoy him. He finds it really hard to restrain himself when he's angry. Your mistake this morning was to try and make him slip up by embarrassing him. He can easily keep his head whilst he's embarrassed It's anger that makes him do stupid things."

"Thank you, Jasper" Edward said, "I don't think that Bella's planning on trying to get me into trouble again."

"Shame," Jasper said, "in our last school, Bella, we used to play a game called 'Setting Up Edward'. Our games don't have very imaginative names," he said apologetically, "the aim was to get Edward into trouble without getting caught by Esme or Carlisle."

"We had to stop because they were going to start assuming that every time Edward got into trouble it was our fault," Alice said, "which would have been true, of course, but would have ruined the game. We'll have to wait a few years before we start playing again, though you won't get into trouble with Esme and Carlisle for years."

"Of course, you might not want to play any games that involve humiliating me in public," Edward said wryly, "but perhaps that's a little bit too much to hope for."

"I don't want to humiliate you in public," I said, "I just like to hear stories about your past. So, um . . . do you only play games that bully Edward, or do you bully other siblings as well?"

They all laughed at me.

"We don't bully Edward," Alice said, "we just try to shake him up a bit from time to time. Before he met you, he hardly ever laughed or even smiled, he was always so serious."

"We don't only bully Edward," Jasper contradicted, "but it can be dangerous to wind up those of us with less self-control in public. Emmett and Rose are fair game, but nobody plays tricks on me when we're too near to other people."

"They do bully me," Edward said, with a sad shake of the head, "please say that you'll be on my side, Bella."

"I wouldn't be much of an asset unless I was a bit less clumsy," I told him, hinting at my change "maybe you should reconsider your thoughts about the future."

He smiled, I think that was the first time that Edward had ever smiled at the thought of me becoming a vampire, "that's true," he said, "and it'll definitely be worth a bit of a compromise if it gets me someone who'll be firmly on my side."

"On your side, most of the time," Alice winked at me. I wondered if she was picturing possible futures in which I was on her side instead. Obviously, I would always be on Edward's side in the big things, Edward was my partner and my one true love. But, it did sound like it would be fun to be a part of the Cullen clan. I'd like to share in some of their crazy bets and games in the future. I'd always wondered what it would be like to have a gang of siblings. It sounded like it was going to be a lot of fun.

"So, you'll tell me about the Canada story?" I asked Edward.

"Why don't you want to know stories of my great heroism and intellectual prowess," he asked me, "why are you pressing for stories in which I act like an idiot?"

"I've already seen you being a hero and an intellectual giant," I told him, truthfully, though it may have sounded a little sarcastic, he kissed me on the cheek, but he didn't look mollified, "I've never seen you get into trouble in school."

"We can arrange for that to change," Jasper offered, "how about tomorrow?"

Edward glared at him, but Alice giggled and said, "I don't think that it will be a problem. Carlisle won't get suspicious if we only do it once, we've never been that restrained before. Not tomorrow, though, sometime next week."

The bell rang for the end of lunch and we, reluctantly on my part at least, trooped off to our various classes. I had PE straight after lunch, but Edward cheered me up by greeting me at the end of the class and handing me another letter. "I finished my assignment," he said wryly.

I smiled at him, "right on time," I said.

"Well, I am the perfect student," Edward responded, I don't think that he was planning on letting that comment go away, "that means that I always hand my work in on time."

I had a brief vision of Edward as a pupil and me as a teacher and I there seemed to be a lot of mileage in the idea. Then I remembered Alice and Jasper's messing about from the day before and I blushed bright red. We were definitely not at the stage of our relationship at which it would be suitable for me to think about role play.

Edward looked curious, then he grinned at me, "let's go to English," he said.

I unfolded his letter and tried to read it, but after I tripped over my feet for the third time, Edward snatched it out of my hand. "Hey," I protested, "I was reading that."

"I'll read to you," he said, "then you can keep your eyes on where you're going."

"Sure, sure. Edward can read and walk, it's only Bella who can't do two things at once."

"Do you want to hear the story or not? I'm perfectly happy to leave this buried in the past."

I took his hand in mine and rubbed my thumb in circles on the back, just as I remembered him doing to me. He smiled at me. "Read to me," I said as softly as I could.

I'd been hoping to have some effect on him, but I was surprised by quite how dramatic the effect was. Edward shivered and closed his eyes, "of course," he said, "anything you want, Bella," I was clearly going to have to remember that tone of voice, that and the hand thing. "The events that Alice suggested I tell you about happened a few years ago in Canada. Emmett and I were in the same class. We haven't been allowed to do that again since Canada." He sounded a little wistful about that, I wondered if he was hoping that he would be able to persuade his family to let him and Emmett sit together again soon. "One day Emmett came up with a new game for us to play at school. We had a History teacher who spent a lot of time writing on a white board with dry markers. She wrote indiscriminately in whatever colour was closest to hand, so the aim of the game was to control the colour in which she wrote. I was aiming to get her to write in blue and Emmett was aiming to get her to write in green. There were no rules, apart from the obvious 'don't get caught'. So, we began by just switching the pens as we walked into the room. We quickly progressed to making excuses to walk around the room during class in order to switch the pens in the middle of the lesson. It was, I suppose, only a matter of time before one of us got caught. It ought to have been Emmett. He was the one who stole her blue pen as he walked into the room. She turned around and almost caught him, so he didn't get a chance to put a green pen in its place. Then he panicked, he was worried that he would get caught standing at the front of the class with a board pen in his hand, so he threw the pen towards his desk. Of course, that's where I was sitting. The pen moved too fast for anyone human to see it in the air, so the first time that the teacher noticed the pen was when it hit the desk next to me and rolled onto the floor with a clatter. Since Emmett was standing at the other side of the room, it looked as though I'd stolen the pen and then dropped it. The teacher didn't think it was very funny. She accused me of pulling a childish prank and gave me detention." He sighed, "Carlisle said that Emmett and I weren't allowed to be in the same class until we learned to behave ourselves appropriately."

While Edward had told me the story, he steered me to class, whispering in my ear as we walked. It was funny to hear about Edward doing something stupid; he'd always seemed so sensible and studious. I liked seeing this new side of him. I wondered if he would play stupid games with me, once I was a vampire and he didn't have to worry about me so much. I had a feeling he wouldn't be willing to let me mess around during my first time at high school, but once I'd been through as many times as he had now, then he would have to accept that it was safe for me to relax a bit.

"I can't imagine you getting detention, couldn't you talk your way out of it?" I asked, wondering why he couldn't dazzle the teacher into submission. I'd seen him do that plenty of times before.

He frowned, "I can't always talk my way out of trouble," he said, "I don't have Jasper's advantages." I wondered what he was thinking about. What stories were behind his frustrated tone? He'd just told me about being in class with Emmett, perhaps he'd had classes with Jasper before. Perhaps, before he'd nearly got Alice killed and landed himself firmly on the wrong side of Jasper, Edward used to be as playful with Jasper as he was with Emmett. I tried to remember what Edward and Jasper's relationship had been like before my disastrous birthday, but I couldn't really pin anything down. I hadn't seen much of Jasper, what with him being tempted to kill me and drink from me, so I didn't really know how well he got on with Edward.

Suddenly, I realised something strange. I had seen a lot of Jasper since we'd got back from Italy. I was often in a car with him, where my scent must have been incredibly strong. How was he coping? Why hadn't he tried to kill me again? Why had Jasper stopped trying to avoid me, and why had his family stopped worrying about him killing me? It had only been eight months since the last time he'd lost control. Jasper couldn't have improved his control by such a great extent in only eight months, surely? Maybe I smelt different now. I was about to ask Edward, but the lesson began and I didn't get a chance.

The English lesson was ok, we were starting a new book: Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, so the teacher did most of the talking. None of us had very detailed opinions at this point in the course. Edward looked bored, he didn't really like 19th Century novels, I remembered how rude he'd been about my Austen and my Brontës. I suspected that he only took the class so that he could be near me; he preferred the sciences. Of course he knew the whole book by heart, and he'd probably heard all the standard opinions on it already. When he saw me looking at him, he smiled, but he quickly returned his face to its neutral expression, probably worried that someone had noticed him grinning inappropriately. I wondered if he had any Dickens jokes that he could quote on demand. But, if I repeated my trick from before then I would probably end up in more trouble than Edward would. The teachers weren't stupid, and they did talk to each other.

It wasn't until the end of the day, that Edward finally brought up yesterday evening. He'd been unusually eager to please all day, telling me embarrassing stories about himself and not pushing me to explain every thought that ran through my head. He was trying to butter me up. Well, that was silly and unnecessary, but I wasn't going to tell him that. I was hoping that Edward would never find out how impossible it was for me to refuse him. He might use his advantage.

When we were walking towards Jasper's car, Edward finally said, "please don't be mad at me for asking, but what happened with Jacob yesterday? It was quite strange when you rang me up and all I could hear was Jacob laughing."

"Ah," I looked over to the car, I couldn't see Alice and Jasper, perhaps they were already inside. As soon as we reached the car, we would have to stop talking about this, I just had to talk to him until we reached the car, "I can imagine that might have made you angry."

"I'm not angry, Bella," he said.

"Alright, that's good. That's very good."

"What happened?" he asked again.

I could have sworn he was slowing us down. This was absurd, normally he was trying to rush me and I felt as though I was slowing him down, but today he didn't seem to be in any hurry to get me to the car. "I wanted to see Jake," I said, "I know that you didn't want me to see him, but I really wanted to see him. I tried to drive over to La Push, but my truck was out of gas. Actually, I was meaning to ask you about that. Why did my truck run out of gas?"

"I think that happens when you forget to fill up, Bella. Don't change the subject." He'd been so flexible and sweet all day, but he was different now. Now he was firm and strong, he wasn't going to let me dodge the question.

"Fine, when the truck wouldn't start, I called Jake and asked him to come over, so he did."

Looking down at our entwined hands, Edward kept his voice steady, "how was it?" he asked.

"It was good. It was nice to see Jake. I know you don't like him, but I do like him and I have fun with him. I'm not sorry about it. Well, I am sorry that you're hurt. I can't bear it when you're upset. Oh, I wish that you weren't upset. But, um, I'm not sorry that I have fun with Jake, because it's just a good-friend thing and I should be allowed to have friends." I sped up and Edward let me drag him faster towards the car, I was desperate for this to be over, so desperate that I could believe I would have been able to drag Edward even if he hadn't let me.

"Then what happened?" he asked, still not looking at me. I wondered if he was hiding eyes full of anger or hurt.

"Well, last time I saw him, I'd agreed to go to the movies with him on Saturday. He reminded me about the movies and he called it a 'date'. I said that we weren't going on a date – because we're not, ever – then I remembered that Alice and Jasper were nearby and they must have heard Jake mention our 'date'. So I went to call Alice and tell her that it wasn't a date, because I didn't want her to think it was and you to hear her thinking it was and get all upset over nothing. But, I didn't call Alice, I called you and you heard Jake laughing and laughing and you sounded cross and I didn't know what to say."

We'd reached the car at last, but Edward didn't open the door for me, he just stood there. I reached for the door myself, and Edward stared at my hand. "It's locked," he said, "Jasper has the keys, we'll have to wait for him."

I leaned against the car, and Edward stood in front of me, still holding my hand. "Were you afraid of me?" he asked quietly.

I laughed, "no, you're not scary!"

Edward's head snapped back and he stared at me, as though I'd just told him that I was a fish. "Bella," he said, "you know what I am, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's old news, Edward," I said, "I was afraid that you would jump to the wrong conclusions and be upset and angry with me. But I wasn't afraid that you would hurt me. I'm never afraid that you'll hurt me. I mean, obviously, you could leave me again and that would hurt more than anything, and I guess I'm afraid of that, but I'm not afraid that you'd hit me or anything."

"I'll never leave you again," he said, his eyes glowing and his face so eager "never."

I shrugged. Of course he meant that now, but maybe he would change his mind again. I only hoped that I could become a vampire before he left me, and then I would be able to go after him.

"You don't believe that I'm sincere?" he asked, and his shoulders slumped, he looked miserable again. Ever since he'd come back to me, he'd been miserable nearly every time that we were alone together. Would we ever get back to the hopeful relationship that we once shared? Young love was supposed to be optimistic

"I don't think that you're lying," I said slowly, "but, even if you mean it now, you might change your mind again. If you thought that it would hurt me if you stayed, then you'd leave me, wouldn't you?"

He grimaced, "I don't know," he said, "I can't bear to put you in danger. If I could only save you by leaving, what else would you have me do? What would be the right answer?"

"You could try talking to me, and listening to my opinion. Maybe if you could start listening to me, then I would believe that things were going to be different this time, and that you weren't just staying until you got scared again."

He thought about that, "I promise to talk to you," he said, "and I promise to listen to you. Will you talk to me and listen to me too?"

"Of course. I don't want to dictate the relationship, I just want to be an equal partner."

He smiled, "so, partner," he said, "what are we going to do about Jacob?"

"I'm going to the movies with him on Friday," I said, "and you can't come because you're still grounded." I reminded him that he was confined to his house, even though it was cruel, because I wanted him to remember that, right now, he was a teenager, just like me.

He didn't respond to my jibe, he just said "don't I get to express my opinion, before you decide?"

Where were Alice and Jasper? Couldn't Alice see this awkward conversation? Why didn't she come and stop it? "I already know your opinion," I said, "you think that Jacob is dangerous and wants more than just friendship. You don't think that I should ever see him again. Your opinion is stupid."

He frowned, "I have more experience in this matter," he said, "my opinion is based on that experience. Jacob _is _dangerous and he _does _want to be more than just friends. I know his kind and I know boys his age."

"You're a boy his age, and you've managed not to jump me whenever we go out together."

Edward grimaced, presumably at the thought of anyone 'jumping' me. I probably shouldn't have said that. "I'm different," he said, "and I'm not good enough for you either. But, perhaps you could stick with just one monster and not court two at the same time. Perhaps you would consider making that small concession to keep yourself safe." He dropped my hand, as though he couldn't stand to touch me anymore.

"I'm not _courting_ Jacob Black!" I shouted, well aware that I sounded about a hundred years old, obviously he was rubbing off on me, "and I resent your accusation that I would court two men at the same time. What kind of girl do you think I am?"

"The kind of girl who commits to a steady relationship with one boy and then allows another boy to take her to the pictures, alone!" he shouted back. Now we both sounded as though we belonged in the fifties. This was absurd.

I was so angry that he would accuse me of two-timing him and furious that he would yell his accusation like that so that anyone could have heard. I wished that I'd brought my own car, so that I wouldn't have to stand here and wait for Jasper and Alice.

Just as I thought that, they arrived. Sometimes it was like Jasper could read minds too, but I guess that my emotions must have been running pretty high. Jasper opened the front passenger car door and let me in. He didn't close the door after me. Instead he turned to Edward and sighed, "guilt," he said, "you seem to be addicted to it."

"Am I running home?" Edward asked, presumably because I was sat in his usual seat.

"Esme's on her way," Alice said, "she's going to take you hunting."

"Apparently you want to talk to me," Jasper said, looking at me, "is that right?" Alice rolled her eyes, she didn't like it when people checked that she was right. I smiled and nodded, I don't know how Alice knew it, but I really did want to talk to Jasper.

"You need to hunt," Alice said to Edward, "you don't want to risk getting into an argument when you're thirsty."

"I wouldn't ever . . ." Edward began, but Jasper cut him off.

"All it takes is for you to grip her wrist, or to rest your hand on her shoulder. Your control has to be perfect" Jasper said.

Edward nodded, "I'm in control," he said.

"Not good enough," Jasper replied, "you think that you're in control, but you have doubts. I can feel them."

"Not about my control," Edward protested, "I doubt something else."

"Come on," Alice interrupted again, "you don't want us to do anything that we think is risky. You want us to look out for you."

Edward nodded again, "I'm grateful," he said, "really. Even when I fail to act gratefully, I feel grateful."

"I know," Jasper said.

"I'll miss you, Bella," Edward said to me, meekly standing back, not wanting to worry his siblings by coming too close to me.

"I'll come over and see you later," I said, "when you're done hunting."

Alice shook her head, "you'll see each other on Saturday," she said, "tomorrow is going to be sunny."

"Why can't I come over tonight?" I asked.

"Tonight, you're going to have a chat with me and Rose," Alice said, "and Edward is going to be busy with Jasper."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: The 'Twilight' series belong to someone else. But, while they're not looking, I'm going to play around with the characters.

Esme pulled up next to us. Alice and Edward climbed into Esme's car and they all drove off leaving me alone with Jasper. I was sorry that he'd left without kissing me goodbye.

Jasper shut the car door now and walked slowly around to the driver's side. I wound my window down as far as it would go and scooted over to sit near the open air, hoping that I could make my scent a little bit less intense.

"You're not scared of me," Jasper said, as he slid into his seat, "so why are you getting as far away as you can?"

"I'm trying to protect you from my scent," I said, "I don't want to make this any harder for you than it has to be."

Jasper laughed. "That's very considerate," he said, with a neat tip of his head, "thank you kindly."

He started the car and pulled out of the car park in silence. I knew that I didn't need to worry about distracting him whilst he was driving, but I didn't know how to start talking, so I stayed silent until we were driving on the road.

Finally Jasper began the conversation, "what are you worried about?"

"Edward didn't look very happy when we left. I'm not sure that he's looking forward to whatever it is that he's going to be doing with you tonight."

Jasper frowned, I hope I didn't offend him. "He probably isn't," he admitted, "we'll have to have a word with him about the way in which he spoke to you earlier."

"Why?"

"He knows better than to treat a lady that way."

I giggled, "I'm not a lady," I said, "I'm his girlfriend, and we were having a fight."

"Even in this day and age there are levels of acceptable behaviour," Jasper said, "and Edward's behaviour fell far below the acceptable level of politeness. Our family expect good manners and nobody will be pleased with the manner in which Edward addressed you."

"It seems a bit odd for Edward to get in trouble at home for being rude to me," I said.

Jasper shrugged, "it doesn't seem odd to me," I said, "it seems logical. You're not really equipped to punish him."

I didn't like the sound of that. How did vampire parents punish their kids? Thinking back to the family meeting, they had referred to grounding and confiscating cars as 'human' punishments. What would they do to Edward when they decided that he deserved a vampire punishment?

Since I was the injured party, perhaps I had a chance to plead for clemency

"I don't mind what he said," I told Jasper.

He laughed softly, "yes you do," he told me. Of course, he was right. I had minded very much.

"Fine," I tried again, "I didn't like it and I'm a bit hurt and cross. But I don't want you to hurt Edward. I don't think that he ought to be punished at all."

Jasper didn't reply. I guess my opinion wasn't of any real interest to him. That made sense, I was just a human girl, I couldn't expect Jasper to be interested in what I thought.

"What is going to happen?"

He shook his head, "I'm not Alice, I don't know what's going to happen."

"What do you think will happen?"

"I think that I will talk to Esme and Carlisle and we will agree a suitable consequence for Edward's impolite behaviour, which ought to discourage him from repeating it."

Jasper's tone was final. The conversation was over. We sat in silence for a bit, before I tried another subject.

"Do you know what we're meant to talk about?" I asked.

Jasper shook his head.

So, this wasn't about Jasper wanting to say something to me. This must be about something that I'd decided to ask Jasper. I thought back and tried to remember. "Do I smell different?" I asked suddenly.

He was surprised, "different from what?" he asked.

"Different from how I smelt on my birthday last year."

"No. You're not bleeding, but you smell the same. I can still smell your blood, it just isn't as strong when there's no cut."

"So, if I cut myself right now, you'd kill me?"

Jasper looked at me as though I'd lost my mind, "would I be sat here if I thought that I was likely to kill you?" he asked, "you're safe with me."

"Why? What's changed?"

He frowned and looked back at the road, though he probably didn't need to, "I'm not sure that I ought to tell you that," he said.

I rummaged around in my bag and found my purse. Surely Jasper remembered how many of his chips I'd won. I put one on the dash. "Is it a secret?" I asked him.

He grinned, and scooped up the green chip. "Alright," he said, "I'll talk. Last year, at your birthday I was strongly affected by the entire family's combined thirst. I couldn't overcome the combined effect. I especially couldn't resist Edward's thirst combined with my own. His desire for your blood was so strong. Um . . . I don't really know how he managed to resist, but I couldn't. He has amazing self-control to resist a thirst so strong. My control wasn't as strong as his. Even though I'm older than he is, I've not been sticking to this diet for so long, it's still harder for me."

"I don't think that proves you're not as strong as Edward," I said, "you had to resist his thirst, plus your own, plus the rest of your family's; so you couldn't resist all that. That only proves that you're not stronger than your entire family combined."

Jasper smiled at me, "you do accept us easily," he said, "I see why Edward feels so comfortable being himself around you. Anyway, you wanted to know what changed. Edward changed. The call of a singer's blood is amazingly strong. I don't know of another vampire who has ever resisted it. He used to feel that call whenever he was with you. Now, he doesn't feel it the same way. Now, when I'm with you I don't have to deal with his desperate desire to drink you. I only have to fight my own desire, and I can handle that. Edward doesn't want to feed from you anymore."

"Wow," I said, "you would think that would improve our relationship no end. I wonder why things are going so badly. I used to think that the biggest problem between us was that he was constantly fighting with himself to stop himself killing me. I thought that, if that ever went away, we'd just be happy together. I wonder why we're not." Jasper didn't answer. I guess he didn't want to let me in on any secrets of Edward's emotions. It would be kind of like spying on Edward, if I asked him to tell me. Still, it was normal to ask your boyfriend's family for stories about them. I could ask Jasper that.

That reminded me of what I'd thought about earlier, what I'd decided to ask Jasper when I got the chance. "Were you and Edward close, before I arrived and everything changed?"

He didn't answer, so I put down another chip.

"Actually, I was only thinking about my answer," he said, "I wasn't going to refuse to tell you. But, I'll have that, I'll be happy when they're all out of circulation." The chip disappeared into his pocket. "Yes, we were quite close. He was wary of me when we first met. Other vampires always are wary of me, I have battle scars, you see, which warn other vampires that I'm dangerous. But, over time, Edward began to trust me. I tried – I still do try – to stick to the same diet as him, and he respected me for that. Because of his gift, he's always known exactly how hard it is for me (actually, because of _my_ gift, a lot of my family members get glimpses of how hard it is for me to resist), and he respects me for trying. He knows why I do it, too. He knows that I live like this – even though it's hard – because it makes Alice happy. I would do anything for her. Edward knows me, and that brings us together. And I know him. Being able to feel what someone else is feeling, it helps you to know them pretty well. I got to know Edward well, and so we became close."

"Did you tease each other, like he and Emmett do?"

"I guess so. I'm older than Emmett, so I'm not quite as playful as he is. But, yes, even I can be silly at times." He smiled, remembering how things had been. "We talk a lot, though, with Emmett there's more rough-housing and stupid bets. Edward and I, we always talked about things. We can both be a little bit academic sometimes, a little bit too interested in the theory of things, I suppose. It's nice to have someone with whom you can share that part of your life and your mind."

"So, has the Italy thing made a big difference?" I asked, "do you like him less than you did?"

Jasper grimaced, "I get a chip for this," he told me, so I handed one over, "this isn't an easy thing to tell you. Um . . . he already knows, I guess, though I don't know if he realises the extent of it. I'm very angry with Edward about what he did. The Volturi are dangerous and he brought our family to their attention. He brought my Alice to their attention. Even if his plan had gone the way he'd intended, even if they'd agreed to destroy him when he asked it of them," I don't know if Jasper noticed me wince when he talked of Edward being destroyed, "still we would have all been in danger. Their job is to punish anyone who breaks the rules and we all broke the rules. For Edward's sake, we allowed you to find out about us and, because he asked us not to, none of us killed you or changed you. The Volturi would have punished all of us for letting you live, and Edward knew that. That changed the way I see him. When he did something so childish and immature, I couldn't help beginning to see him as more of a child. He nearly got his entire family killed because he was sulking. "

I was shocked. I'd known that the Volturi wanted me changed or dead. I'd known that one of the vampire rules was that they must keep the secret. I had never realised that my continued life had put them all in such danger.

"I – I didn't know," I stuttered, "why are we waiting at all? Why don't you change me now? What if they come looking for us? You might all be killed." Though I knew perfectly well that I wouldn't be able to see them coming, I looked out of the windows. The images rushed through my brain: Jane torturing Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Carlisle, Esme. All of the Cullens suffering because of me! It was horrible. I wished that Jasper _had_ killed me! They shouldn't be breaking their own laws because of me.

I felt a wave of calm and lethargy break over me.

"Sorry," Jasper said softly, "I didn't mean to frighten you, only to explain why I was so angry with Edward. There's no real risk. They won't check for a few years. A couple of months won't matter at all, and it's important that we don't raise suspicions amongst the humans. Now that it's agreed that you will be changed, I don't think that we're in any real danger. I'm sorry that I frightened you."

"I can see why you called Edward an idiot," I said, "he put everyone in danger. I'm sorry about that. It wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been for me."

"Huh," Jasper snorted, "guilt, just like Edward. It's odd how you both do that. You both get these huge surges of guilt from time to time. You should try not to worry so much. Anyway, the point that I wanted to make is that I think of Edward as more of a child now. Carlisle changed him, of course, and has always been a father-figure to him. I never used to interfere in their relationship. But Carlisle doesn't have him under control anymore, and so I feel obliged to step in and help out. You're always very observant of our family dynamics, so I suppose that you've noticed that, since Italy, I've assumed more authority over Edward. He needs someone to discipline him, and I'm good at that. You have another question."

"How do you know?"

"Alice told me that there would be four questions."

"Oh, ok. Well, this is a bit different, I only decided to ask you after what you said earlier, so I don't know how Alice saw it. But, why did you say that other vampires were wary of you? Why do you have lots of battle scars?"

Jasper held out his hand wordlessly, waiting for me to place a chip in it. "You really know how to pick difficult questions," he said, "no wonder Alice thought it best for us to have this conversation without Edward around. I don't think that he will be happy to hear that I told you my story. Are you sure that you want to know?"

I nodded, but Jasper waited, he wanted me to reply aloud. "Yes," I said, my voice sounding very small and a little bit scared. I wondered if I sounded too scared for him to continue, but he shrugged and began.

"Most vampires are territorial, and most vampires hunt people. Most covens are small, maybe two or three permanent members, and most covens fight with other covens that they come across. You have to understand that the family that I belong to now, is extremely unusual amongst vampires.

"Vampires are typically more violent than humans. We have very strong emotions and we are accustomed to acting on instinct, so we fight and we fight physically. Can you imagine what would happen if two covens both wanted to hunt in the same area? They wouldn't be able to come to an agreement or a treaty. Their instincts would drive them to fight and to kill. Can you imagine that?"

I nodded. I had seen how Edward had growled when James had come too close. I had seen his instinctive reaction was to fight for what he wanted. I had heard, rather than seen, how Emmett and Jasper had killed James. I knew that vampires didn't sit down and talk things out. They fought and they fought to the death. "There would be a battle," I said, "they would fight until one coven was destroyed."

Jasper nodded, "yes, that's how it works. Well, once some vampires came up with a plan to make their coven stronger. Newborn vampires are very strong indeed, stronger than older vampires."

"Stronger than you and Emmett?"

He smiled, "yes, a newborn would be stronger than me and Emmett combined. So this coven began to make lots of newborns and they used them like an army to defeat all the surrounding covens. Can you imagine what the other covens did?"

"They made their own newborn armies?"

"Exactly," Jasper smiled, pleased at my quick learning. He would make a good teacher, I thought, though there probably wasn't a lot of call for teachers of vampire history. "Well, that's how I was made. I was made to be part of a newborn army."

"So you've killed other vampires?"

"Lots of them. I was very good at it. I was in the army when I was a human, before I was changed, and I was good at that too. I have always been good at fighting. Most newborns are destroyed once they're a year or so old, that's when their newborn strength starts to fade and they aren't as useful in an army. But my maker, her name was Maria, didn't destroy me because I was good at tactics as well, I was a useful fighter even when my strength faded. So Maria kept me and she gave me the job of controlling her newborn army."

I couldn't imagine what that must have been like. What must it have done to Jasper to see so much death, to know that he was only allowed to continue existing because he was so good at destroying others? On top of that, with his gift, he would have felt everyone else's fear and anger as his own. If Edward's thirst had made him loose control at my party, what must it have been like when he was surrounded by newborn, living-by-instinct vampires? It was impossible to picture the calm, collected Jasper that sat beside me fighting with hordes of vampires. "How do you control newborn vampires?"

Jasper sighed, "with force and threats and rewards of food," he said.

I wished that I hadn't made him talk about it. He must hate to relive those times. When he said 'food', I knew he meant humans. He bribed newborn vampires with human lives. How much horror he must have seen and felt! How much horror was still out there in the vampire world? Were the Volturi really not the worst thing out there?

"We're nearly at your home, Bella, and Alice will be there waiting for you. I know that you must be getting frightened of me right now, so I'll stop talking about this, if that helps."

"I'm not frightened of you," I said, "I'm frightened of what's out there. I feel sad for you. It must have been a horrible life."

He smiled again, "it was hard," he said, "and vicious. I killed a lot of people and I destroyed a lot of vampires. I have been the worst kind of monster."

"How did you get away?" I asked, not wanting to ask him if he had chosen to stop.

"One day I realised that Maria didn't trust me anymore," he said, "so I left. I wandered alone for a while, until I met Alice. She changed me. She showed me that there was something else to this life, that it wasn't all about blood and fear. She showed me that vampires could love. Speaking of Alice . . ." I looked up and realised that the car was parked, we were just outside my house. Jasper leapt out of the car and came around to hold my door open.

Alice was suddenly there, at my side. "Hey, Bella!" she said brightly, "did you and Jazz have a nice chat?"

Jasper rolled his eyes at her, "I don't think that was a 'nice' chat," he said, "I think Bella might have nightmares."

"About you?" Alice asked, "never! You're a big softy."

Jasper shook his head, but he was smiling. "Will you be alright, Bella?" he asked.

"I don't know. Are you keeping me calm right now?"

Jasper shook his head.

"In that case, I guess I'm fine. It is horrible," I said, "but I saw horrible in Volterra. I already know how dangerous your kind can be."

Jasper nodded, "well, I'd better get back to the others," he said, "have a good evening, girls."

Alice nodded.

"Don't you mind being away from Jasper?" I asked, wondering why she was staying here with me and not leaving with him.

"Nope, Rose and I want to talk to you without our nosy little brother listening in. Rose will be here in a few minutes. She wanted you to have dinner before she arrived."

I laughed. Charlie was working late tonight, so I didn't bother cooking for just me. I made a cheese salad sandwich.

Taking advantage of having a good excuse not to look at Alice, I said, "why aren't you yelling at me for seeing Jacob? Aren't you all furious?"

"Don't you think that I have any manners, Bella? It would be very rude of me to complain about who you chose to invite into your own house. Don't misunderstand me, I think that seeing Jacob Black is a bad choice and a dangerous choice. But, I know that it's your choice to make. I've already told you my opinion of werewolves, it's up to you how much stock you choose to place in my opinion. I know that we all lost the chance to protect you when we chose to leave."

I chopped the salad viciously, "I broke the promise that I made to Edward."

"Ah, yes, when you promised not to see Jacob again, and then decided to drive over to his house. That's not really my business either."

"What do you think I should do about it?"

"Apologise to Edward and in future don't make stupid promises that you can't keep. Oh, and eat your sandwiches before Rose gets here."

I washed the dishes and, I hope, erased most of the smell of human food, before Rosalie arrived.

It was extremely strange to see Rosalie and Alice perched on the sofa in Charlie's lounge. It was like seeing angels sitting on a bus. They were far too beautiful to be in such an ordinary room. I was glad that Jasper wasn't around to sense my feelings. He'd think it was ridiculous that I was more scared of Rose and Alice than I was of him. I didn't know why they were here together or what they wanted.

"Thank you for having me over, Bella" Rosalie said, "I'm glad that you're willing to let me into your house."

"Of course I am, Rosalie, you let me come to your house all the time."

Alice giggled, "I suppose that you're wondering what this is about," she said, "Rose and I wanted to have a bit of girl-talk with you."

I blushed.

Rosalie laughed, "I don't think that you're on quite the right lines yet, Bella," she said, "we weren't going to talk about sex."

I blushed again.

"Wow," Rosalie said, "you and Edward really are naïve, aren't you?"

"Rose, no teasing. We have serious business to discuss."

"Right," Rosalie nodded, "we're going to help you out with Edward," she said.

"What?" I asked. Why did I need help with Edward? Was he already planning on leaving me again? He'd only just got back. How could he be bored with me so soon?

"Alice," Rosalie hissed, "you said that this was Bella's idea. She has no idea why we're here."

"She hasn't had this idea yet," Alice said, "but she's about to. Trust me."

Rosalie sat back on the sofa, crossed her arms and glowered. She had been dragged here under false pretences and wasn't at all happy. It must get kind of annoying to live with Alice sometimes, half of her is in another time zone. I wondered if I would ever get used to it.

"Think about it, Bella," she said, "what use would Rosalie and I be to you right now?"

Alice was perched right on the edge of the sofa, about to leap into the air with excitement, but Alice was nearly always excited about something. Rosalie was buried in the back of the sofa, frowning. It was impressive how at ease she seemed in my house. I might have expected her to approach everything with a supercilious air, barely touching my human, and rather worn, things. But, Rosalie wasn't like that, she was surprisingly at ease on my dad's ancient sofa.

"I don't understand. Edward and I were fighting about me seeing Jacob. Aren't you both on his side? Don't you hate the wolves too?"

Rosalie looked a bit shocked, but Alice laughed "Of course we're on his side. That's why we're here trying to help you sort out a couple of relationship issues sooner rather than later. If we help now, then everything will work out much better in the long run. We're on both of your side's, Bella, if only you could see it: you and Edward are on the same side!"

"I don't know why you would assume that I'd side with Edward," Rosalie said "he's certainly not always on the right side of any issue!" That was true, of course, Rose didn't always side with Edward. I guess what I'd really been assuming was that she would side against me. Didn't she still hate me?

But that was a bit silly, really. She certainly seemed to hate me before they left. I had my reservations about why she had made that fateful phone call to Edward informing him of my supposed death. But, since then, well, things had begun to change, hadn't they? She'd played her part in creating the cover story, and now here she was in my lounge, telling me that she'd come to help out with my problem with Edward.

Maybe Rosalie didn't hate me anymore. I should try and make the effort to see her in a new light. I should start trusting her. I gave her a shy smile and she winked at me. Then she resumed scowling at Alice. It was bizarre how beautiful Rosalie Cullen could look while scowling. I don't think that anyone else could make sulking so attractive. Well, anyone except Edward, that is; he looks so cute when he pouts!

"Are you going to help me make it up with Edward for breaking my promise?"

Alice rolled her eyes, Rosalie continued to scowl. I guessed that I wasn't right.

"Are you going to try and persuade me not to see Jacob again?"

This time Rosalie uncrossed her arms and began to look around for her purse. I think that she was getting ready to leave. Alice grabbed her arm and pulled her back onto the sofa, "Bella's very nearly got it," she said, "just be a tiny bit patient."

"Oh!" the idea came to me in a flash, I guess that's why Alice had already seen it, all the pieces had been in my mind already, I just needed to put them together. Edward was sulking and I wanted to cheer him up. Rosalie and Alice were married to vampires and had plenty of experience helping them recover from 'slips'. Plus, they were Edward's eternal sisters. If anyone knew how to fix him, it would be them.

"Edward still feels guilty and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to stop him feeling that way. But you're both married to vampires and you've helped them when they've done things that made them feel guilty, so you can tell me how to help Edward."

Alice grinned, "there," she said to her sister, "happy now?"

"Sometimes you should try and do things in the right order," Rosalie grouched, "you should have waited until after Bella actually had the idea and then called me over."

"This way is quicker," Alice said, "I hate waiting for things to happen."

The sisters glared at each other for a second and then they both started laughing. "Sorry, Bella," Rosalie said, "it's just that we've had this exact argument so many times, it's funny. Anyway, back to your little problem. What's wrong with him feeling guilty? I think that a bit of guilt can be a good thing in a relationship. If he feels guilty, you can get him to do stuff for you."

"Except I can't," I said, "he feels guilty because he upset me. He doesn't think that making decisions for me and trying to control my life was wrong. So he's still trying to control me. I have to get rid of the guilt."

"Getting rid of the guilt won't stop him being a control-freak," Rosalie said, unfolding her arms and pushing herself up into a let's-get-down-to-business pose, "don't you want to try and deal with that too?"

I tried, and failed, to imagine a less controlling Edward. He would always be infinitely stronger than me, and older, and wiser. He would always be protective and that would always make him a bit bossy. "This is Edward we're talking about," I said, "I don't think that I can stop him controlling me before I become a vampire."

"No," Rosalie cut in abruptly, "that's not going to work. If he's going to accept you as his equal after the change, he has to accept you as his equal before the change."

"But, I'm not his equal."

The sisters exchanged looks. They were probably thinking how obvious that last statement was. Edward was a beautiful, talented, intelligent, caring vampire and I was a plain, dull human with nothing special about me. Obviously we weren't equals in any sense at all. I should stop pushing my luck and get on with being grateful for the affection that he had to spare for me.

"Bella, he left you and you still risked your life to bring him home," Rosalie said, "if you want to, you can be his equal. You have to be his equal if you're going to have a good relationship."

Alice nodded.

"He needs to lose a bit of control. You need to give him some limits."

"In case you hadn't noticed, Rose, Edward is grounded and he's lost both of his cars. That doesn't seem to have helped at all."

"Hey, you called me 'Rose'," she grinned at me, "that means that we're really sisters now! Anyway, you're wrong. It was the rest of us who did that to him, and he's much better with us now. He didn't kneel before you and kiss your feet when you first saw him this morning, did he, Alice?"

Alice giggled, "no, did he do that to you?"

"No! He's better."

"Did he do that to anyone, ever?" I asked.

Alice giggled again, "when we got home from Italy, Jasper had um . . . a word with Edward, then Edward came and apologised to me. It was a bit overblown, well, you know what Edward's like. He was all hang-dog expressions and earnest apologies the day after the family meeting, now he's alright. He's resigned to his punishment and a bit sulky, but it's not that annoying."

I sighed, I did know what Edward was like. Kneeling down kissing Alice's feet suited him. He'd probably kneel down and kiss my feet if I asked him to. What he couldn't do was let me have my own opinion on anything.

"That is a great plan," Alice said suddenly, looking at Rose, "and, it has a chance of working, if Bella can pull it off."

Rose grinned at me, "well, Bella," she said, "do you trust me?"

"I guess so, what's the plan?"

"Think final scene of 'Grease'" Rose said, with a truly wicked smile.

"I don't think I've seen it."

Rose sighed, "being around you makes me feel old, Bella. Alright, what I'm talking about is presenting Edward with a more confident Bella, who is ready to take charge. Show him that you're a force to be reckoned with. Think about it this way, do you think that Emmett would have spoken to me the way that Edward spoke to you this afternoon? Of course not! Emmett knows that I'm a strong woman. Let Edward know that you are too. Once he sees your inner strength, he won't feel the same desperate need to protect you all the time."

It was flattering to be compared to Rosalie. Flattering, but hardly accurate. I knew that Emmett adored her, and that he might be a little bit scared of her. But I couldn't imagine Edward being scared of me.

"What inner strength?"

I hadn't meant to offend Rosalie, but that was what I did. She leapt to her feet and towered over me. "Are you calling me a bad judge of character?" she yelled. And I mean yelled, she put her face about two inches away from mine and bellowed at me. When her face was that close to mine, I noticed quite how dark her eyes were: not a good sign.

She leant forward into a hunting crouch. Her legs were bent and tense, preparing to spring. Her hands were held tightly in claws. Then she opened her mouth and grinned at me. It wasn't a happy grin this time; it was a hungry grin. Well, I suppose, being a vampire and not a lioness, it was a thirsty grin. Her teeth were a brilliant white and they glinted even in the dim light of my living room. Softly, Rosalie hissed.

"Er, Alice, a little help?"

I daren't take my eyes off Rosalie. Perhaps if I held eye contact she would remember that I was a human and she didn't really want to kill me.

Alice didn't reply.

"Rose?" I said, "I didn't mean to offend you. I only meant to ask what made you think that I had any inner strength. Do you need to hunt?"

Rosalie relaxed, sliding gracefully back into her seat. "See?" she said, "you didn't even flinch. Bella, most of the children at school are terrified when I merely frown at them. I yelled and hissed at you and you asked me if I needed to hunt. I used to think that you were more stupid than most humans that I've met. Now I realise that you're simply brave. You just need to tap into that inner strength more when you're with Edward. Show him your strong and capable side."

I frowned, was I brave or stupid? Now that I knew the Cullens, I had good reason to believe that they wouldn't want to kill me. But, on the other hand, I also knew how easy it would be for them to make a mistake and kill me without meaning to. Even now, relaxed on the couch, Rosalie was a coil of raw power just waiting to spring. Her beauty and grace were lures. Those perfectly manicured hands that idly fiddled with her golden rings could instantly and easily tear me into pieces. She was a beautiful predator, sat comfortably on the sofa. It was like having a panther sleeping in your backyard: stunning, but you wouldn't want to wake it up.

"I still don't see what you're suggesting I do exactly."

Rose smiled, keeping her lips together so as not to remind me too forcefully of her vampire grin from before. "I'm suggesting you teach him to cook."

Alice and Rose described the plan in great detail. Of course, it involved a new outfit. Equally of course, it was the sort of outfit that I would never have chosen for myself in a million years.

They both thought that the plan was great and was going to be brilliant fun, even if it didn't work. I thought that the plan was scary and was going to be utterly humiliating, even if it did work. But, I love Edward and I want him to be happy. Alice and Rose know him so well, they ought to know what's likely to cheer him up, even if it does seem counter-intuitive.

So, nervously and without really being sure why I was doing it, I agreed to go along with the plan. Now all I had to do was wait until Saturday. Alice promised that Edward and I would have the house to ourselves. They would wait, out of ear shot, but ready to rush back if I phoned for them. Alice also promised to watch and make sure that I was going to leave the house happy and safe, though she wouldn't watch what Edward and I were doing.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to the 'Twilight' series. I am only writing this for fun.

I had strange dreams on Thursday night and kept waking up. I really missed Edward. At three in the morning, I sent him a text message asking if he was home and if he was ok.

'I'm fine. Shouldn't you be asleep? Are you alright?' he texted back instantly, I wondered if he had been sat holding his phone, but I expect it was just the vampire speed thing.

'Can't sleep. Miss you.'

'I miss you too, my beautiful Bella. Lie down and close your eyes. Think of sunlight in our meadow and you'll drift away into peaceful sleep. Sweet dreams, sweetest Bella.'

I took his advice and did settle back into sleep for a while. But at five I was awake again. There didn't seem any point in going back to sleep, so I crept downstairs and phoned Edward instead.

"Good morning, Bella," he said, "isn't it too early for you to be awake? Are you feeling alright?"

"I didn't sleep well, I missed you."

He sighed, "I missed you too."

"I can't wait until tomorrow to see you," I said, petulantly.

"You can see me tonight," he offered.

"Don't be silly, I'm going out with Jake and you can't come. Please don't start arguing with me again."

"Alright. I won't argue. What do you want me to say?"

"Say that you'll come to school today."

"I can't. It's going to be sunny."

"Come tonight, hold me while I sleep."

I heard him mutter something under his breath, then he spoke to me again "I can't, please don't ask me again."

"Why not?"

"If you ask me again, I'll have to do what you want. Then I'll get in trouble and my family will pull me out of school."

I thought about that, "we could run away together," I said.

"Really? Would you like that?" he sounded excited, then there was more muttering, "that might draw attention to us, love," he said with a sigh. "Once we've graduated, we can run away, if you still want to."

"Alright, tell me where you want to take me."

He chuckled softly, "you sound tired, pretty Bella. Lie down and I'll tell you all the places that I'm going to take you." I lay on the couch, snuggling the phone against my ear and listened to his soothing voice. "First we'll go to Paris. I want to see you in Paris by moonlight. You are always beautiful, but I'd like to see your beauty in different lights and different settings. I'll take you to the top of the Eiffel tower and look at you in front of Paris. I'd like to see you outshining Paris. If you'll let me, I'll buy you beautiful scarves to wear, in pure silk. You'll like the way they feel wrapped around your delicate neck. Then I'll take you to Rome. I want to show you the Colloseum I'll walk you around and tell you all about the interesting bits of history and you'll listen to me until you get bored and then you'll tell me to shut up, like you did last time I heard you sleep. You even sound beautiful when you're telling me to shut up. I don't know if you'll ever be able to tell me off properly, because I'm always so happy just to hear your voice. We'll throw coins in the Trevi fountain and vow to return one day. I will take you to the Spanish steps in the evening and we'll listen to music until you fall asleep. I'll take you to the Alps so that you can ski. It's like running: you go so fast sometimes it feels as though you're flying. I will keep you safe, whatever happens. If you fall I will catch you; if you try to hit something, I will move it out of your way. You can try any dangerous sports that you want and I will keep you safe. I'll take you to Germany and we'll run together through the Black Forest. We'll go to Greece and I'll swim between the islands with you on my back. Ah, my pretty Bella," he said, lowering his voice as I felt myself drifting away, not only hearing his words, but seeing us doing these things, "I will take you everywhere, I will show you the whole world, but I will never look at anything but you." That's the last thing that I heard. I hadn't thought that I was tired at all, but whilst Edward whispered to me I fell gently asleep.

When I woke up it was seven and my phone was still clutched in my hand.

"Good morning, again, beautiful Bella," was the first thing that I heard.

"You stayed on the line," I said, "I fell asleep. Why didn't you hang up on me?"

"I would never do that," Edward said, "that would be rude. Besides, I like listening to you sleep. It's the next best thing to watching you sleep. You should probably get dressed and have breakfast now."

"This phone call has been so long. How come I didn't run out of credit?"

"It's on a contract, I wouldn't want your phone calls to be interrupted." He was crazy.

"I'm sorry I didn't hang up," I said, "I don't want to waste your money."

"Silly Bella, it costs nothing at all, well next to nothing, and I've missed hearing you sleep. I liked it."

"I'll call you tonight, Edward, have a good day."

"You too, Bella. I love you."

I hung up the phone, wondering what had gotten into me. A two hour-long phone call, while I slept. It was a sinful waste of money. The Cullen attitude must be rubbing off on me. I had a long hot shower, wondering how I would get through an Edward-free day at school. At least there would be no Alice to criticise my outfit.

I had cereal for breakfast and my phone rang, just as I was picking up my bag to leave the house. Nice timing, I thought, then I saw the caller ID, Alice, of course.

"Why don't you put the blue top on instead?" she said.

"Alice, you're not actually going to see me today," I told her, "why do you care what I'm wearing?"

"The blue top looks nicer," she insisted, "and I can see you, right up until this evening. That's why I'm calling. Promise me that you will call Edward tonight. He's going to spend the entire evening pacing up and down in his room."

"I promise, Alice. I will call."

"Alright, Bella, have a good day and um . . . when you're playing volleyball, try to use your hands and not your face. Please stay safe, Bella."

"Fine. Goodbye, Alice. Have a good day."

She laughed and we hung up.

Honestly, I wish they wouldn't make such a big deal out of my clumsiness. It's not as though I'm not already embarrassed to be this klutz surrounded by graceful vampires. I was still muttering to myself as I drove off to school.

School was boring. I sort of saw what Alice meant about volleyball. Thanks to her warning, I did duck out of the way of a couple of balls just in time. I didn't really help my team out very much, but I escaped the game completely unscathed, and that's a sort of victory.

I gave Edward a quick call before Jake came over, just to reassure him that I was alright and I would speak to him later. I told him that I would call him at eleven, only to hear him panic about exactly what I was planning on doing after the movie. Of course Edward knew what time every movie finished and exactly how long it ought to take me to get home. I wanted to give myself a bit of lee-way, I didn't want him running over to see me because I was five minutes late in calling. Eventually we settled that I would phone him as soon as I got home, but he wasn't allowed to panic before 10.45pm. Really, he was a lot worse than Charlie!

Charlie just asked if I needed any money and told me to have a good time. Of course, part of that was because he adored Jake and was thrilled that I was going out with him and not Edward tonight. I couldn't really complain, though, because he was so thrilled that I was seeing Jake tonight, he hadn't made any complaint about my plan on being with Edward all day Saturday, he hadn't even checked that we were going to be chaperoned.

Jake arrived right on time, wearing a huge grin and driving his Rabbit. "Bells!" he called, scooping me up into a big wolf-hug, which is just like a bear-hug, only warmer. "I'm so glad that you agreed to come out with me. I've missed you."

"Wow, Jake, let me down. You saw me only a couple of days ago."

"I know, but I like seeing you, and I wasn't sure that I would see you again."

"What do you mean?"

Jake looked strangely at me, "I thought they might be a bit worried about you this weekend," he said, "and I wasn't sure that they were going to trust me to take care of you this evening."

"Why not?"

"No reason. I mean, I can keep you safe, you don't need to worry, and I've got Quil and Embry to hang around town just in case. I only thought that, since the red-head was meant to be back tomorrow they wouldn't want to take any chances today."

"What do you mean? Do you mean Victoria?" I could hear my heart in my ears and I could feel the blood draining from my face, "Victoria is going to be here tomorrow?"

Jake put his arm around me and pulled me into the car, "sit down, Bells," he said, "you've had a bit of a shock. I can't believe this. Didn't he tell you? Didn't any of them tell you? Alright, calm down, you need um . . . you need a drink, tea or something, then I'll explain everything. Come on, let's get you back inside."

"Charlie," I said, weakly shaking my head.

"Oh, yeah, you're right. He won't be expecting us to go back in. Alright, Bells, I'll take you to my place."

"Don't you want to see a movie?"

Jacob laughed, "with you in this state? No, Bells, I think that we need to talk. It sounds like there's a lot of stuff you don't know about." We drove in silence for a bit, then Jake said, "um . . . did you ask them to keep secrets from you? I mean, would you rather not know what's going on?"

"Course not! I want to know. I'm sorry that I got a bit worked up earlier. But I'm feeling better now, and I'm ready to hear about it without getting upset again."

"Hmm. I think we'll wait for me to get you that cup of tea. You should have a hot sweet drink if I'm going to give you a shock. You can see a movie with me some other night."

We drove a bit further in silence. I wondered what it was that the Cullens hadn't told me. It was obviously about Victoria. Maybe Alice had a vision of her returning. It seemed odd that the Cullens hadn't told me that. There was no reason to keep that a secret. I was half-expecting Victoria to come back. There must be more to it. Perhaps I was going to die. Perhaps Alice saw a vision of me dying and they decided that it would be better if I didn't know. That would explain why Rosalie was being so nice to me.

Did I want to know that I was going to die? It's not an option that many people get. Most of us live in ignorance right up until the actual moment of death. If I had the choice, would I really want to know? It was a difficult question to answer, and I had better come up with an answer soon.

"Look, Jake," I said, "if you know when I'm going to die, I don't know if I want you to tell me."

Jake laughed. I was asking him not to warn me of my impending death and he actually laughed, "way to over dramatise a situation," he said, "I don't think that you're going to die. Wow. Try to calm down a bit, will you? We'll be home in a couple of minutes."

I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. I reminded myself that I was with Jacob and everything was fine. Edward was back and he still loved me. Alice was back and we were still best friends. Rosalie was back and she actually seemed to like me. Emmett was back and he was the same as ever. Jasper was back and we talked to each other now. Esme was back and she was like the perfect mother. Carlisle was back and he had said that I was part of the family now. All the Cullens were back and I was still friends with Jake. Everything was just about perfect.

Of course, Victoria was still out there, but nobody had tried to hunt her down. Perhaps she would leave us all alone. After all, she was heavily outnumbered and she must know it. She would certainly lose if it came to a fight. But, if that were the case, why hadn't they killed her yet? The wolves made short work of Laurent, why were they having so much trouble with Victoria? Maybe Laurent was just good luck. Maybe the wolves weren't really strong enough to fight vampires. I should stop them. I should tell them to run away if Victoria came back. Perhaps they would listen to me.

Victoria was coming back, Jake had told me that much at least. But, how did he know? Did the wolves have powers too? Was there a wolf who could see the future? It sounded crazy, but then so did everything else that had happened. I thought back to exactly what Jake had said 'didn't any of them tell you?' he'd said.

He'd been asking me if the Cullens had told me about Victoria. That meant that he knew they knew Victoria was coming back. How would he know that, unless . . . the wolves and the Cullens had been talking to each other? They'd had a meeting, I'd known about that. Were they friends now? Was there a sort of truce? I'd been so busy getting back with Edward, fighting with his family about mind reading and mind-abuse, I'd completely ignored the life-threatening situation that was developing all around me. Everyone I knew and loved was preparing to fight a weirdly un-killable vampire, and I'd barely even noticed.

Driving with Jacob was easier than driving with Edward. Jacob understood that speed limits were just that: limits. Edward seemed to think that they were challenges. I wondered why that was. I'd seen the super-fast healing of werewolves, so Jacob probably wasn't afraid of crashing. Perhaps he was just more inherently law-abiding. Perhaps it was because he was mortal, like me, and he'd been brought up by a human, like me, and he'd been taught to obey the law, like me. Edward didn't seem too worried about obeying the law. He was always speeding, he laughed about Alice stealing a car, he walked around with false ID without really thinking about it. In fact, Edward hadn't even obeyed the vampire laws. Perhaps the image that Charlie had of him wasn't all that far out.

"You seem calmer," Jacob commented, "what are you thinking about?"

"Oh," I blushed a bit, getting caught thinking something so stupid, then I realised Jacob would probably get a kick out of it, "I was wondering why it is that Edward has to break the law all the time. I was wondering if it was a vampire-thing. You're a werewolf and you don't have to speed every time you get behind the wheel."

Jake laughed, just like I'd hoped he would. "I guess that Alice's little brother is just a bad boy," he said it in a teasing voice, as if he thought that Edward was trying too hard, "I'm already cool. I don't need to prove it," Jake gave me a big goofy grin.

It was great to hear Jacob laughing and joking about Edward. Even though he still called him 'Alice's little brother' that was good-natured teasing. It wasn't as cold and hard as the way that Edward called him a 'dog' or a 'mutt'. Jacob was right, he was cooler than Edward. But, then, Edward was born before 'cool' existed.

We pulled up at Jacob's house and I let myself out of the car. That was kind of nice too. I know that Edward liked to open doors for me and stuff, but sometimes that just reminded me of how different we were. Edward had some pretty old-fashioned ideas, which would be ok, except that he got them when they were contemporary. It was nice to be with a guy from this century, who realised that all my limbs were functional and I could easily get myself out of a car.

We walked to the door. Jake didn't need to drag me nor to pick me up and run with me, and I didn't trip once. I wondered if I sometimes tripped with Edward because he was expecting it. He loved to catch me when I fell, just like he loved to protect me, to carry things for me, to hover around me as if I couldn't take care of myself. I didn't worry so much about slowing Jacob down, he was a mortal being, just like me.

Inside Jacob's house, he rooted around for biscuits, while I made us both some tea. It's good to be so at home in someone's house that you know where they keep the tea. Making tea for me and Jake, I felt like I belonged here. I realised that I'd never even got myself a glass of water in the Cullens' kitchen.

We sat down at the kitchen table. Jacob had warmed a few pizzas in the microwave, and he put them down on the table in their cardboard boxes. He picked up one mini-pizza, folded it in half and tossed it into his mouth. I laughed at his disgusting table manners.

"Wot?" he said, spraying crumbs everywhere, "wot's funnee?"

"Nothing," I said, calmly taking a pizza for myself, "I was just thinking how nice it is not to be the only one eating."

He shrugged, "you don't ever watch them eat, then?"

"No, Edward thinks it's too dangerous for me."

"Course he does. Ok, well, are you ready for me to fill you in?" he paused and waited for me to nod. "Right, then, well Alice saw a vision of the red-head coming back this weekend and she told the Pack. Well, she only told me, but telling one of us is like telling all of us, the whole pack-mind thing, remember?"

I nodded again, and nibbled my pizza.

"We uh, rearranged a couple of boundary lines, I guess the detail won't mean anything to you. Basically, they wanted to hunt her themselves, and we wanted to hunt her ourselves. It's our job, you see, our entire purpose in being wolves is to destroy vamps. Um, no offence. We asked Alice if she'd seen a vision of her family destroying the red-head, and she hadn't. So, I figure that means that we're going to do it. She can't see what happens to us." While he was talking, Jake heated more pizzas and found a couple of packets of crisps too, he put them on the table.

Alice not being able to see Victoria dying, might mean that the wolves were going to kill her, but, it might just as easily mean that Victoria was going to kill them. She might get to one of the pack, or even more than one. My mind went blank for a second.

Then I felt Jacob holding me up, "drink your tea, Bells," he said, "you're panicking again."

I obeyed, and the tea did make me feel more alive. I stared at Jake, wondering if there was any way that I could persuade him to take care of himself.

"Please don't try to fight her," I whispered.

Jake groaned, "you're kidding me," he said, "you've made friends with this one too? I thought that might happen, since you always call her by her name. But, Bells, she wants to kill you, I mean, come on, when did you even see her last?"

It was so absurd that I laughed, "Jake," I said, "I'm not friends with Victoria. But, she could hurt you! I can't stand the thought of her hurting anyone in the pack, or even worse." I stopped myself and drank some more tea, before Jacob suggested it. He waited patiently for me to continue, eating a packet of crisps so fast, that he might as well have been inhaling it, "maybe, if you just ignore her she'll go away."

"Finish your tea," Jacob said, "then I'm going to show you something. You don't need to worry about me, Bells. I'm the big bad wolf now."

I did as he said, and he drank his own tea and ate a handful of biscuits. I finished my pizza, and ate two biscuits, whilst Jake ate half a packet of biscuits, another two slices of pizza and a second packet of crisps. I wondered how on earth Billy could afford to feed him. Then he stood up and I followed him outside. He took me down to the beach and then he said "wait here, Bells, I'll be back in just a second." He walked off into a small grove of trees. About thirty seconds later, he emerged in his wolf form.

As I watched, Jacob the wolf bounded up and down the beach, speeding up with each pass, until he was running so fast that he was just a blur to my human eyes.

"Alright," I called over to him, "I see that you're fast."

He stopped and looked at me and, in a very Jacob-fashion, he rolled his huge wolf eyes, making me laugh. He ran back to the trees and I thought that the demonstration must be over. Well, that was good, maybe he would be able to outrun Victoria.

But, all of a sudden, I heard a huge crash. One of the trees fell over. Something was over there, in the trees, something very big and very strong. Something huge and scary was there, and so was Jacob!

I screamed and Jacob the wolf came bounding back to my side. He was huge. More the size of a horse than a dog. I stared up at him. He didn't look injured at all, perhaps he'd managed to get out of the way of the mystery thing.

"What was that?" I asked, "what knocked over that tree?"

Jacob snickered at me, it sounded like he was laughing. He ran off, back to the wood. I stood up, wondering if he was going to bring the thing back here. Did he think that I wanted to see it? Would he bring Victoria to me?

I backed up behind a boulder, though I knew it would be no defence against a vampire. Quickly, Jacob came back, dragging the tree behind him. As I watched, he bit chunks out of the tree and tossed them around. Watching his display reminded me of the first time that Edward had taken me to our meadow. Edward had wanted to show me his strength and his speed and now Jacob wanted to do the same. What was it about these mythical creatures that made them so eager to show off? What was it about me, that made me stand here watching?

"You did that? You pulled over that huge tree?" I asked him. He nodded slowly. Strange how he managed to be sarcastic, even when he was a wolf.

"Well, alright, I'm impressed. But, vampire skin is really strong, it's more like stone than wood." He rolled his eyes at me again. They were the same colour as his eyes were normally, just an awful lot bigger. I could still see Jacob inside the giant wolf body.

He came up to me and nudged at my side with his head. He was very gentle, and didn't knock me over, he just pushed me to indicate that he wanted me to move. I stepped back and he pushed me again. After a few steps, he was satisfied. He returned to the boulder that I had hidden behind earlier, he looked back to check that I hadn't moved. Then, he bit a huge chunk out of the boulder and spat it out. Right in front of me.

"Wow!" I gasped. I would never have believed that Jacob could do that if I hadn't actually seen it with my own eyes.

I sat down on the ground. Jacob trotted up and lay down beside me, resting his head on his paws.

"That's pretty amazing," I said, "you would probably stand a chance against a vampire. But, I would still rather you didn't fight any."

Jacob sighed, his warm breath creating a breeze that blew leaves and sand all over the place. The he stood up, looked at me and looked back at the remaining trees, then looked at me again.

"I'll stay here and wait for you," I said. It wasn't hard to understand him, even like this. I could almost hear his voice in my head asking me not to run off or do anything stupid while he was gone.

He came running back, dressed and human again.

"Well?" he said, "are you still scared for me? Or are you more scared for your vampires?"

I laughed, "I don't know," I said honestly. "I'm pretty terrified for all of you. You could all get yourselves killed."

Jake laughed again, "who do you think would win in a fight," he asked me, "me or Alice's little brother?"

"Jake," I protested, "you're not going to fight Edward. Promise me."

He shook his head, "I won't fight him unless I have to," he said, "but that's the best I can do. Tell me who you think would win?"

"No, I don't even want to think about it." I couldn't bear the thought of Jacob and Edward facing off. One of them would probably die. I couldn't imagine either of them stopping until that happened. They were both so stubborn and they both had that scary bit of them that was on the lookout for an opportunity to fight.

"Alright," Jake said, "how about a hypothetical case: between a werewolf who happens to be very cool and very fast and a vampire who can't tame his own hair."

"Jake!" I protested again, "I like Edward's hair. I don't want to think about you two fighting and I won't think about it. Whoever won, I would lose because I would lose someone I love."

He looked at me in surprise, had I really just said that I loved him? How could I help it? When I'd seen what Edward was, I'd fallen for him, was the same thing happening now that I saw the full extent of Jacob's strength? Did I just have a thing for powerful fairy tale creatures?

"I love you too," Jacob said, and, before I understood what was happening, he was there, right next to me. His arms were around my waist, pulling me against him and his lips, his hot lips, were pressed against mine in a demanding kiss.

I tried to pull back, pointlessly, I couldn't move against him. Edward always let me push him away when I wanted to, but Jacob wasn't used to it, he probably didn't even notice my desperate movements. I kept my mouth and my eyes tightly closed, I tried to move, I tried to wiggle out of his grasp. But Jake was so strong and he held me so easily. I couldn't do anything except wait until he was done. Finally he pulled back to look at me.

I glared at him, his arms were still around my waist, I pushed back against them, and he could see me struggling. He tipped his head to one side and watched me, "what are you trying to do?" he asked.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm trying to get away. Let me go!"

He shrugged and released his hold. I fell in a heap on the floor. Jacob looked down on me, curiously. "Better?" he asked.

I struggled to my feet, refusing to take his outstretched hand. I wanted to get up by myself, to prove that I didn't need his help.

"I think I'd better go," I said, "before you do something else that I'll regret."

"Do you mean before you do something else?" Jacob asked, "you kissed me back."

I growled at him, wishing that I could be a powerful creature too, "I did not" I said. It was pathetic. He could knock down trees and eat boulders, and all I could do was stamp my foot and say 'did not'. Why weren't any of my friends normal, weak humans like me?

"I think that I know what it feels like when a girl kisses me back," Jake teased, unsurprisingly not at all worried by my fury.

"Really? And how many girls have kissed you back?" I hoped that I could embarrass him.

Foolish idea, Jake laughed delightedly, "aw, did I make you jealous? Poor Bella. Don't worry, there's nobody else out there for me. You don't have any competition."

"Idiot." I turned around and stomped back towards my van.

"Are you really leaving?" Jake ran round to stand in front of me. He knew that I couldn't get past him. He could make me stand here all day if he wanted. He could kiss me again as many times as he pleased and there was nothing that I could do about it. Why did I have to be so weak and feeble?

On this side I had Jake, forcing himself on me, on the other side I had Edward, who pulled back whenever I tried to kiss him. It was as though I had no say at all in what happened to my body and who touched it. I had a vision of Jake and Edward tossing me between them, easily throwing me and catching me, and there I was, just flying through the air, completely powerless. I may as well be a rag doll for them to fight over.

I felt my eyes sting and then the tears creep their salty way down my cheeks. I was so angry, and all I could do was cry.

"Hey," Jake said, putting out one hand and just lightly touching my arm, "I didn't mean to make you cry, Bells. You can go home if you want."

It didn't help. I could only go home because he was letting me. The tears just kept coming.

"Do you want me to drive you?" he said.

I nodded dumbly.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: this isn't how the 'Twilight' series really goes. I'm just messing about.

Jacob led me back to the truck and helped me into the passenger seat. He even leant over and did my seat belt up for me.

"I want – I want to – to go to the Cullens' house," I stuttered out.

"No. I won't take you there. They're vampires, Bella. I can't deliver my friend to a coven of vampires."

"You're a werewolf. You know that I spend time with the Cullens. You know that if you don't drive me there, then I'll drive myself."

He scowled and thought about it. Then he frowned at me, "is this because I kissed you?" he said, "are you going to ask them all to defend your honour? Coz, they might beat me if they all gang up on me, but I promise you I would take a couple down first."

I sighed, of course Jacob assumed that there was going to be a fight, "no," I said "this isn't about you kissing me." I wiped my eyes and blew my nose and looked at him as seriously as I could, "you kissing me was kind of predictable, Jake. It's the sort of thing that you would do. I'm not upset about that."

"Does that mean you liked it? Can I kiss you again?"

He leaned forward eagerly and I had to shuffle over to prevent him planting another sloppy kiss on my face.

"No, Jake, I don't like you that way. I like you as a friend and, really, you like me as a friend. You just don't know that yet, because you haven't fallen in love yet. One day you'll fall in love, or you'll imprint, and then you'll realise that all you felt for me was a crush and you'll be glad that we didn't take it further."

"Maybe I'll imprint on you," he said hopefully, staring at me as if he could will himself into imprinting.

I shivered. I don't like to think what would happen if Jake _did _imprint on me. I wanted to choose who to love; I didn't want the choice made for me by some spooky animal magic. "Wouldn't that have happened already?" Please say that there's no way Jacob could imprint on me. "Anyway, the reason that I'm upset, is that when you kissed me like that I realised what's wrong with my relationship with Edward."

He grinned, "he's a terrible kisser?" he asked, "are you taking me to the vamps' house so that I'll give Alice's little brother some tips, coz I'm not sure that I'm ok with that?"

I sighed. "No, Jacob, that's not it. Edward is a great kisser, and that wasn't a real kiss, so I don't know what it's like to kiss you."

"I could - "

"Jacob!" I interrupted him, "please listen to me." He sighed, then he pursed his lips together really tight, to show that he wasn't going to talk again. "When you kissed me, you just forced yourself on me and I realised that's what Edward does." I saw Jake's hands tighten around the steering wheel and I felt the truck groan as he tried to speed up suddenly. Oops, that's not quite what I meant to say.

Now Jacob was the one rushing to defend my honour! His eyes were stern and his mouth was set in a grim line. That expression made him look older; he looked like my dad on his way to work. He was certainly not planning on reading anyone their rights. It didn't take a lot to set Jake off; I was beginning to see Edward's point about the volatility of werewolves. One stray comment and he was into full who's-the-daddy protector mode.

"I don't mean it like that," I said hastily, "Edward doesn't force himself on me, ever. In fact, he's always pulling away from me when I want to go on kissing. What I meant was that Edward always thinks that he knows best and wants to be in control of every situation. Alice and Rose tried to explain that to me last night and they came up with a plan to get Edward to stop trying to control me. I've decided to put the plan into action tonight."

Jacob stopped trying to kill my truck and loosened his grip a bit. "So, what's the great plan?" he asked, struggling to calm himself down with deep breathing.

"It's pretty long-winded," I said. So Jake pulled over at the side of the road and I explained the whole plan to him, taking my time and giving him enough opportunity to get back into a reasonable frame of mind. He needed to get rid of whatever images I'd accidentally put into his head. It wasn't going to go well if I turned up at the Cullen's house while Jacob was still fixated on protecting me from Edward's groping hands! Jacob wasn't fond of Edward; he was hardly going to feel fonder after thinking of Edward assaulting me.

I told Jacob all about Rosalie's theory that Edward would make a better boyfriend if he saw me as more of a force to be reckoned with. I told him that Rosalie thought I really did have all this inner strength and that all I needed to do was to show Edward. I told him that she and Alice were convinced that me teaching Edward to cook would help him to see me in a new light: as someone who could take charge; as someone who knew more than he did about something.

Then I told Jacob about their insistence on turning this cooking lesson into a big demonstration of power, complete with scary outfit and a script. Alice and Rose thought that a dramatic scene was the best way to make an impression, the more dramatic the better.

Finally I said, "so, I figured that it would be even better if he couldn't see me coming, and, if you drive me, Alice won't see you coming and Edward won't know that I'm on my way until I get there."

Jake chuckled, "wow, Bells," he said, "perhaps you're right. Perhaps I don't want to go out with you. You're pretty harsh when you want to be."

I wasn't offended, the way he said it, he made it sound as though he was almost impressed that I could be strong too. Of course, I couldn't be strong like him or like Edward, but I had my own kinds of strength, and that's what this plan was all about.

We pulled up outside the Cullens' house and Jake came up to the door with me. He wrinkled his nose and then he knocked. I knew that Alice wouldn't be able to see us and I wondered if they would even be able to smell me, with Jacob stood right next to me.

Jake laughed. I stared at him and willed him to explain.

"I can hear them trying to work out what I'm doing here," he whispered right against my ear, "Alice is cross because she can't see. The pretty blonde says that I stink. Alice's lover and the big guy want to kill me and Alice's little brother just keeps asking everyone where you are. I don't think that the parents are home. Look out, they're all going to open the door together."

He stepped back, so that I could stand on my own, with my arms crossed.

The door swung open and the first face that I saw was Edward's. He looked instantly relieved to see me, then he looked puzzled by my expression.

Emmett and Jasper were standing alert on either side, and they were watching Jacob. Alice peeked around Edward's shoulder and grinned at me. I could just see Rose giving me a thumbs up. They must have guessed from my stance that I was going to start the plan early.

I remembered how angry I'd been earlier that evening. I remembered that Edward hadn't told me about Victoria coming back. I remembered my fury and drew on it. "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," I said, as sternly as I could. It must have sounded good because his mouth dropped open. "You've been messing with my truck and you've been keeping secrets from me."

"There's a good explanation for both of those things, Bella, love," he said carefully, holding out his hands towards me.

"Perhaps I'll give you a chance to explain" I said, "perhaps the time for explanations is over. Go upstairs to your room and wait there for me. I'll deal with you in my own good time."

Edward stared at me in shock. I'd never spoken to him like that before. In fact, I don't know if anyone had. Remembering Rose's words, I turned away from Edward instantly, as if I was sure that he would do as he was told.

"I know that you weren't expecting me till tomorrow," I said to Alice, "I hope that it isn't inconvenient for me to be early."

"Not at all," Alice said sweetly, "it's always great to see you, Bella."

"Won't you come in?" Rose added, pushing past Emmett and pulling the door open widely.

Edward was still standing there in shock. Luckily, Rose had given me a tip to use if this happened. I leant very close and whispered, "are you going to make me repeat myself?"

He span around on his heel and walked up the stairs.

"Wow," Jasper said, "that was pretty cool."

"Edward's in trouble, Edward's in trouble," Emmett chanted, until Rose glowered at him. Then he shut up, but continued to grin broadly.

"Don't chant that in your head, either," I said to Emmett, "it's not nice to tease people."

The others chuckled, but Emmett frowned and began singing 'She Loves You' under his breath instead.

"I think that's my cue to leave," Jake said.

"Oh, yeah, thanks for the lift, um . . . do you want to borrow my truck to get home?"

Jake rolled his eyes, "I think it'll be faster if I run."

"You'd be faster than that thing even if you were walking," Rose said.

There was a long pause. Jake stared at Rosalie, as if he was trying to figure out her angle. He had trouble thinking of the Cullens as people and he certainly hadn't expected one of them to joke with him. There was silence as the werewolf stared at the vampires and the vampires stared back. Then Jake worked out that a pretty girl had made a wisecrack about my truck. Then he laughed.

Rosalie smirked back. It was so good to see a pleasant gesture between Jake and a Cullen that I didn't even want to defend my poor truck.

Having laughed at a vampire's joke, Jake seemed to realise that he would look ridiculous refusing to leave me alone with them. He squared his shoulders, deciding that he was going to risk trusting them. "See you, Bells" he said and he jogged off into the trees.

The rest of us walked on into the lounge.

"Um . . . I don't mean to sound rude, Bella," Rosalie said, "but you might want to shower before you get on with the plan."

"Yeah," Emmett agreed, "you stink, Bella, what did you do, roll around in the mutt's bed?"

There was a crash upstairs. Everyone pretended not to hear it, but I blushed bright red, "of course I didn't," I said.

Emmett switched to singing 'Who Let the Dogs Out'.

"Your outfit is in my room," Alice said, "come up with me and you can shower and change."

I followed her up the stairs and into her room.

I'd never been in Alice's room before. I was quite surprised when I saw it. There were huge wardrobes, just as I would have expected, and there was a big round bed, which wasn't a shock. But the colours were all really muted and pale. I would have expected Alice's room to be as bright and loud as Alice was. Instead the walls were cream, the floorboards were just waxed, the bed covers were off-white, and the gigantic wardrobes were painted to match the walls in an attempt to make them less intimidating. It was really nice, but really, really plain.

"Jazz says that a plain room is like a blank canvas," Alice explained, "he says that every time I move in here, I'm like a new work of art."

"Wow, Jasper's really romantic."

Alice giggled. "Don't embarrass him," she said, "or we'll all feel mortified."

She handed me a little pile of towels, shampoo, shower gel, toothbrush and toothpaste. "Go and get cleaned up," she said, "I'll lay your outfit out on the bed."

Alice dove into one of her wardrobes and I went into her bathroom. I stripped and tossed my clothes into the laundry basket. Once I was stood under the warm water, I realised what I was about to do. The plan began to seem really stupid. I was not going to be able to do this. Edward would take one look at the outfit that Alice had picked out and burst out laughing. There was no way that he would take me seriously. He would know instantly that this was Alice and Rose's idea and he knew that I wasn't as confident as them.

What was the point of coming up with a plan to prove how confident I am to Edward, if I wasn't really confident at all? I couldn't possibly fool him. This was just going to be embarrassing. And, since Alice and Rose knew, that meant that Emmett and Jasper knew. And, even Jake knew what I was supposed to be doing. Somehow I had turned a slight relationship problem into a huge public humiliation for myself.

Maybe there was still time to get out of it. I could put my dirty clothes back on, creep downstairs and drive away. But, Alice and Rose were down there and they wouldn't let me back out now. Besides, Edward was in his room, waiting for me. I couldn't leave him there and not go to him. He'd be distraught.

Maybe, I could go to Edward and tell him everything. I could tell him all about the plan and then . . . Then what? I could ask him to pretend that I'd done exactly what I was meant to do. But, where would that leave us? I'd be the little girl who couldn't handle herself again. No, if I ever wanted Edward to think that I was an adult, I had to go through with this now. I wasn't going to get any more years to grow up in. I had to grow up now, or I would never manage it.

Determined to press ahead with the plan, I rinsed my hair and got out of the shower.

Wrapped up in my towel, I stepped gingerly into Alice's bedroom. There on the bed was The Outfit. It was pretty scary now that I looked at it, and on top was a neat note from Alice. 'Since you're early, you might want to think about whether or not you're going home tonight. If you're staying here, you should call Charlie and let him know. The crop is just for show. The noise will make Edward jump out of his skin, but, if you try to actually use it you'll break your wrist (he doesn't need to know that, though!). We'll leave as soon as you open his bedroom door, so if you need us before then, just shout. Otherwise, you'll have to phone, we are going to get well out of ear-shot! Good luck, and try to have fun! Alice x x x'

A riding crop, wow, we definitely didn't discuss that. I carefully pulled on the outfit, it was a skin-tight, black catsuit with a deep v-neck, there were sharp-heeled, black leather boots to match. I put it on and pulled my hair up into a messy half-ponytail. I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked . . . scary.

I picked up the crop, just to see how it looked, and I liked it. I looked very scary now. I gave it a quick sweep through the air and heard the 'crack'. It made me jump. I was glad that I'd tested it before getting anywhere near Edward.

Then I thought about the first half of Alice's note. Would I go home tonight? I decided that I would. It was almost nine now, so I had a few hours before Charlie was expecting me back. At least if I had to be home tonight, I had a good excuse to leave. Then I could run away honourably if things went wrong and I needed to escape. I picked up my cell phone and rang Charlie.

He was pretty surprised to hear from me, but he wasn't surprised when I told him what had happened. Well, obviously, I left out quite a few details. I told him that Jake had kissed me and I'd come over to Edward's house because I wanted to sort a few things out with him. I said that I'd be home in a few hours. Charlie didn't ask if anyone was with me and Edward, which was lucky. I didn't really want to tell him that his family had all gone out because I didn't want them to see me in my new dominatrix outfit. Charlie said that he hoped I'd get things sorted out with Edward and he wouldn't wait up for me. That was fine, I had my key. So I hung up.

I ran through the lines that Rose and Alice had written for me in my head. Then I walked carefully into the hallway, it wasn't too hard to walk in the boots, and they did make me feel taller and slimmer, which was a bit of a confidence-boost.

"See you later, guys," I said, knowing that Edward's siblings would all hear me. Then I took one last deep breath, said a prayer that he wouldn't roll around on the floor laughing, and I opened the door.

Edward was sat on his bed, watching the door. He looked shocked when I walked in, but he didn't laugh. His hands were on his lap and I saw that he was fiddling with his fingers, as though he were a nervous human. I was a bit surprised, he usually didn't bother with human-like fidgeting when he was at home. Perhaps it was a difficult habit to break. Remembering what Alice had said, I paused in the doorway, giving him a chance to look at me. His eyes swept up and down my body and he bit his upper lip.

There was silence. I could hear my heart beating, but it wasn't too fast. I remembered what we'd agreed and I was feeling pretty calm about my part right now. Edward wasn't laughing, which was a relief. In fact, he wasn't doing anything that I might have expected. He didn't protest at my outfit or ask me to put on something more decent. He didn't say anything at all. He sat there, twisting his fingers and biting his lip, as if he was the one who was nervous.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I didn't write the 'Twilight' series. I wrote this, though. I hope that it's ok.

It was time to say my first line, I spoke slowly, hoping that I could keep my words clear. I knew that I couldn't imitate the voice that Rose had used when she'd demonstrated the whole performance to me, but I could make sure that he heard what I was saying. So I carefully enunciated each word, and said: "On. Your. Knees."

Edward dropped so fast and so hard that the whole room shook. The vibrations of the floorboards reached me and I had to grab onto the door frame to steady myself.

He noticed what had happened and smirked at me. But that was ok, I knew what to do if he smirked at me, "eyes down," I said curtly.

Again he obeyed me, but this time he protested, "Bella, love, I like looking at you."

"First rule," I said, "you don't speak unless you're spoken to." He didn't answer, and he didn't laugh. He stayed on his knees with his head lowered so that he was looking at the ground.

Oh, he was beautiful. They hadn't warned me how gorgeous he was going to look, kneeling on the floor like that, with his head dipped so that his hair hung down over his face. He was so beautiful. If I hadn't had a script to follow, I think that I would have run over and hugged him right then.

But, I did have a script and I was going to follow it. This was the only suggestion I had for fixing things between Edward and me, and I was going to follow this advice to the letter. I was going to give this plan every possible chance of working.

"This," I said calmly "is your default position. If you don't know what I want you to do, I want you like this. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am," he said, with a sweet edge to his voice.

"Bella," I corrected him, "you call me Bella. Try again."

He was surprised this time, his head moved to one side, as though he was trying to see the floor from another angle, as though he thought that would help the situation to make more sense. "Yes, Bella," he said, more slowly.

I walked forward and stroked the riding crop down the side of his neck, making it clear that I had noticed his cocking of his head. "Second rule," I told him, "you don't move without permission."

"Now," I went on, turning away from him and beginning to walk up and down in front of where he was knelt, "we're going to have a chat. So, first of all, what happened to the petrol in my truck?"

Silence.

"Third rule," I said firmly, "when I ask you a question, you answer me straight away. Try again."

"I did take out some of the petrol in your truck," he said, "but I left enough for you to get home and I replaced what I'd taken the next day."

"Hmm." I said, trying hard to keep the emotion out of my voice. Rose and Alice had both told me that I could lose the whole thing if I go worked up. "Did you know that Victoria was coming back this weekend?"

He was confused again, he held still, but I could hear the frustration in his voice, "yes, Bella," he said.

"Did you deliberately keep that information from me?"

"Yes," I could hear that he was desperate to say more, but he was trying to stick to the rules. He was probably hoping that I was about to give him a chance to explain.

"Whose idea was it to keep me in the dark?"

"Mine, but, I had a good reason -"

I cut him off abruptly with a crack of my riding crop. Alice was right, he jumped. I wondered why that was. Perhaps with vampire hearing, the sound was even more shocking.

"Did I ask for your explanation?"

"No, Bella, but you said that this was a chat."

I stopped walking and stood in front of him, "look at me," I said, he looked up. His eyes were confused, but there was a slight smile on his lips. He thought that he was holding his own in this conversation. It was time to ramp things up a bit. "This is a chat with rules," I said calmly, "what are the rules, Edward?"

He frowned, obviously reciting things didn't make him happy. "First rule: I don't speak unless I'm spoken to. Second rule: I don't move without permission. Third rule: when you ask me a question I answer straight away."

"Good boy," I said, and I was surprised to see that he smiled in genuine pleasure, "offering explanations that haven't been asked for is speaking out of turn. If you break any of the rules again, I will be forced to punish you, understood?"

He raised his eyebrows, as if questioning what punishment I could possibly inflict, but he said, "yes, Bella," very sweetly.

"Alright," I said, "eyes down." I returned to my pacing.

"I don't like you sneaking around behind my back," I said, "I don't like you messing around with my car. I don't like you keeping things from me, and I don't like you asking other people to keep things from me. Do you understand all of those statements?"

"Yes, Bella."

"Are any of them a surprise to you?"

"No" he sounded a touch sulky now.

"Hang on," I said in faux confusion, "that doesn't make sense. If you already knew that I didn't like you sneaking around, messing with my car and keeping things from me, why did you do all those things?"

"I want to protect you," he said, "I don't mind getting into trouble as long as you're safe. As long as you don't get hurt, I've done my job. And I'm quite happy to take my punishment, it's a fair exchange for you being safe."

I grinned. "You're not being punished, Edward," I said, "this isn't punishment, this is training. I'm going to teach you how to behave in the way that I want."

He was so surprised by what I said that he looked up at me, then he remembered the second rule and realised that he'd broken it. He grimaced and hung his head back down, awaiting the consequence.

"Good timing," I said cheerfully, "just when you were wondering what the difference was between punishment and training. Now I have a good excuse to show you. You see, what we've done so far, that is training. What I am going to do to you right now, that is punishment. Ready?"

"Yes, Bella."

"I'm going to go downstairs and make myself a nice cup of tea," I told him, "you're going to write some lines for me. You're going to write out the three rules fifty times, which will help you to remember what they are, won't it?"

"Yes, Bella."

"Now you thank me for being so kind as to think of a punishment for you." I prompted.

He groaned very slightly, but he said "thank you very much, Bella."

"Good. You can move as soon as I shut the door, and when you've finished your lines, you may come downstairs and bring them to me."

I walked ever so slowly to the door, knowing that he would be waiting, aching for me to let him get on with his punishment, so that he could run back to me. I hesitated just outside the doorway, checking that he was going to obey me to the letter and not move until the door was actually closed. He was very good at this game. Maybe Alice was right, maybe we would end up playing again.

I wondered how long it would take him to write the rules out fifty times. He'd probably write them more quickly than I could read them. I put the kettle on to boil and began hunting around the kitchen for tea-bags. Since I needed to waste a bit of time, I decided to do the whole thing properly. I found a tea pot and warmed it, before added the tea and boiling water. I let the tea brew for three minutes, taking my time choosing a mug. The Cullens had a beautifully equipped kitchen. I noticed that, as well as tea pots, they had coffee pots and bean grinders and a rather swish filter coffee machine. I wondered if any of it had ever been used. I wondered if they even knew how to use half their kitchen equipment. In the mug cupboard I found that I had a choice, I could use a simple white coffee mug, or I could use a gold-edged cup and saucer. The cup and saucer would be a nicer setting for my tea, but I was pretty sure that I would break the bone china, so I took a mug instead. I poured my tea in carefully, I added milk and stirred my tea. I turned around, with my tea in my hand, and there he was. Already. I hadn't heard him come in.

He had knelt down more slowly this time, so the floor didn't shake. He was on his knees, with his head bowed, and one hand outstretched, holding out a couple of sheets of paper for me to take. I took them and tossed them into the trash without bothering to look. Rosalie had prepared me for this moment.

He knew (he'd just written it out fifty times) that he wasn't allowed to move, but Edward shivered involuntarily. He knew that he wasn't allowed to speak, but I heard him sigh.

"Is there a problem?" I asked sweetly.

"You didn't even look," he said softly.

"Of course not, why would I want to read the same thing written out fifty times? The punishment was for your benefit, not mine."

He didn't respond to my barbed comment. He didn't even grimace. He was taking the rules very seriously indeed now. That was good. That meant that we could move on to the next stage. I walked over and sat down at the kitchen table.

"Come over here and sit with me," I told Edward.

He sprang up off the floor and ran over to take the seat by my side. His face was full of delight, as though I had given him a wonderful gift, rather than just suggest that he sat down next to me.

I picked up my mug of tea and took another sip. As usual, Edward watched my movements intently. It was as though he'd never seen anyone drink a cup of tea before and expected to sit an exam on my technique later.

"Edward," I told him gently, "it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when you stare at me when I'm eating and drinking."

His smile faded slightly and he lowered his eyes to the table again.

I laughed at him, "you don't have to avert your eyes when I'm drinking tea," I said, "that's almost as weird. All I want you to do is relax, and pretend to be human. Let your eyes move a bit. Don't stare at me and don't ignore me. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, Bella," he said meekly. He tried to do as I had asked him, looking up and making eye contact. I smiled encouragingly, and he grinned at me again. Rose had been right, he loved knowing exactly what I wanted from him. He really was desperate to please me, how had I failed to see that before? It was so obvious tonight that just a hint of approval from me made his face light up like Christmas morning. He moved his gaze around a bit, and he did look perfectly natural. I shouldn't have been surprised, he could pass for a human all the time, so he ought to be able to sit next to me whilst I drank tea without freaking me out. It was very nice indeed to have him doing so, however.

"That's exactly right," I praised him, "I'm much more comfortable now. Please will you act like that when I'm eating and drinking with you in future?"

He was like a cat being stroked; being told that he had done something right, made Edward stretch in pleasure. "Yes, Bella," he said again, locking his eyes on me, so that I could see his earnestness. It was very sweet. I hadn't realised that he would take something so little so very seriously.

"Since you're doing so well," I told him, and I enjoyed seeing the boyish satisfaction on his face, "we're going to try something a bit harder. I'm going to give you a kiss, and I don't want you to pull away. I'm going to pull away when I think that it's time for the kiss to end, and I want you to follow my lead. Do you understand?"

He nodded, but he also frowned slightly. I guessed that he wanted to say something more in response than just 'yes'.

I took pity on him, it wouldn't be a good thing if this first Bella-led kiss went wrong. "Do you trust me to stop?" I asked.

He nodded again, then remembered that he was obliged to answer my questions and he said "yes, Bella."

"Are you ready?" I asked him.

He smiled now, I had convinced him that he was safe with me and I wasn't going to use the game as an excuse to push him too far. "Yes, please, Bella" he said.

I leant forward and kissed him. I kept the kiss short and sweet. It wasn't just a peck on the lips, but it wasn't the kind of kiss that would scare Edward. Whilst I kissed him, he kissed me back, moving his lips softly against mine. I tried to imagine when he would have stopped the kiss. I pulled back a moment before I thought that he would have done.

When I pulled away, he looked surprised, and there was a flash of dark in his eyes. I don't know what that was, the expression was gone too quickly for me to be able to put a name to it. Perhaps he was disappointed that I had stopped so soon. Perhaps he was considering following me so that the kiss continued and was angry that the rules didn't allow him to initiate a second kiss.

I drank more tea and watched Edward's face. He seemed to be thinking quite hard about something.

"Would you like me to kiss you again?" I asked.

Once more, his face lit up with delight, "yes, please, Bella," he said again. He was watching my lips now, as if he was trying to will them closer to his own. There has never been a more attractive sight than that of Edward, eager for my kiss.

Slowly, teasing him, I edged forward. He held himself still, but I saw him tense. It was an effort to keep himself from leaning in towards me. I stopped, holding my lips just an inch from his, enjoying the feeling of his breath on my skin. When I stopped so close to kissing him, I heard him whimper softly, he pressed his lips tightly together to stop himself speaking.

I closed the gap and kissed him. I let my lips move from his and trailed kisses down his jaw and down his neck. I felt him tremble with pleasure. Ever so slightly, so slightly that I would never have noticed it if I hadn't been watching for it, his body arched up, his neck moved closer, seeking out the touch of my lips, trying to make me press harder against him.

Abruptly, I pulled back and returned to my tea. Edward stared at me again, with something that was almost like pain in his eyes. His mouth twitched with something that he stopped himself from saying. I fought to keep calm and sipped my tea. I was beginning to see why he so often laughed when he pulled back from kissing me. It was flattering to see how much he desired me. Being the one to pull back, to witness my lover longing for my touch, it was kind of fun. I didn't like the hint of suffering in his eyes, but I loved the way his body reacted to mine. I loved that I could make him want me. I loved that he wanted more of me, that he was eager for my kisses. It was wonderful to feel so wanted. I could understand how Edward laughed in triumph when I made him feel the way that I felt now. I wondered if he was learning what it felt like to be in my position, to be the one who was left hanging.

"You're doing very well," I said, this time he didn't look thrilled by my compliment, he looked eager, hoping that I would agree to push him further next time, "I'm proud of how well you let me lead those kisses. That was very nice for me. Now, you'd better wash up my tea things before I go home."

His face fell. I didn't think that he was upset because I had told him to do the washing-up. I looked pointedly at my empty mug and he quickly swept it off the table. I saw him glance once at the dishwasher, but he obviously decided that it would be better to do exactly what I'd asked, and he washed everything by hand. He dried the things carefully, and returned them to their places in the kitchen. I was amused to see that he opened almost as many cupboards as I'd done, looking for where everything belonged. He obviously wasn't overly familiar with the layout of the kitchen.

When he'd finished what I'd asked him to do, he knelt back down in the centre of the kitchen, waiting to see what I was going to do next. I had actually expected him to sit back down at the table, but I suppose that he was right: this was what the rules dictated.

"Look at me," I said, "you may come over here and say goodbye nicely, then I'm going to go home. I'll be back tomorrow morning and we'll continue with your training, alright?"

He acknowledged my words with a submissive 'yes, Bella', then he dashed over to give me a hug. "How long may I take saying goodbye nicely?" he asked, smiling his crooked smile at me.

I laughed at him, "you may walk me to my truck," I said, "but you mustn't hold on to me and stop me leaving."

He sighed, "it's still early, you could stay longer," he said, "please stay longer, Bella."

"I'm a bit surprised that you were enjoying the game so much," I said, taking his hand and leading him out of the kitchen and through the hallway, "I thought that you would be glad when I left and you could get up off the floor."

He chuckled, "I think that the game had its moments," he said, "and I'd rather be kneeling on the floor with you, than doing anything else without you. Being with you is my favourite thing." We got to my truck and he politely held the door open for me.

"Remember that tomorrow, when I keep torturing you," I said, climbing into the truck.

He nodded, so I pulled the door closed and started the engine. Edward watched me pull away and drive down the drive before he returned to the house. Once I was out of sight, I pulled over and waited for my phone to ring.

I didn't have long to wait, "how did it go?" Alice asked.

"I'm in my truck on my way home, still dressed in a catsuit and scary boots," I told her.

Alice laughed her chiming laugh, "just do your coat up," she said, "Charlie won't notice. Did you make Edward cry?"

"Of course not. And I wasn't aiming to make him cry," I told her. "But, I was pretty horrible. I don't know if he'll really want to see me again tomorrow."

"Did he say that he didn't want to see you again?" Alice asked, she sounded genuinely puzzled, so I think that she managed to keep her promise and not watch us until I left.

"No," I said slowly, drawing the word out as if I wasn't sure it was quite the right answer, "he didn't _say _that at all. But I did most of the stuff that we talked about, so it would make sense if he didn't want to see me again. I wouldn't want to see someone who bossed me about like that."

"Um . . . Bella, you're dating Edward, the King of Control-Freaks. I'll bet he loved every minute of it. Did he object to any of the rules or ask you to stop at any point?"

"No" I said, wondering for the first time why Edward hadn't objected to the rules.

"Well then," Alice concluded with delight, "he was having a good time. Our Edward is never backward in coming forward, as Emmett would say. If he didn't like the game, he wouldn't have played. You should prepare yourself for tomorrow, he'll probably try and push you to see what you'll let him get away with. You should be a lot stricter tomorrow."

"I thought that you weren't looking," I said.

"Relax," Alice scoffed, "this isn't me predicting, this is me giving you the benefit of my experience as Edward's sister. He'll have all night to think about his game plan for tomorrow, and you'll have to be strict if you want to remain in charge. Now, you should drive off, because, though you're far enough away that he can't hear you, you are close enough for him to hear the truck. If you don't drive on soon, he'll think that there's something wrong with it and he'll come down to try and help out."

"Alright, bye, Alice, and thank you for tonight."

"No problem, bye, Bella."

I hung up the phone and drove the rest of the way home.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I didn't write and don't own the 'Twilight' series. I didn't write and don't own the 'West Wing' series, for that matter, but I try not to boast about these things.

Alice was right, of course, Charlie was in bed, so he didn't notice my strange outfit. I left my riding crop on the passenger seat, hoping that anyone who passed by and happened to look through the window would assume that I rode horses. Of course I was eighteen, I was of legal age and it wasn't shocking if I chose to play games with my boyfriend. But that didn't stop me from feeling embarrassed

I climbed out of my ridiculous outfit and put it safely away in my wardrobe. I snuggled into comfy sweatpants and a T-shirt and got into bed. Just before I settled down to sleep, I received a text message on my phone: 'I'm hoping that text messages don't count as speaking out of turn. I wanted to wish you good night and sweet dreams. I love you, Bella. Thank you for coming to see me tonight. x x x'

I wondered if he was kidding about the 'speaking out of turn' bit. I picked up my phone and called him. He answered instantly, of course, but he didn't speak.

"Good night, Edward" I said, "I love you too."

He remained silent, it was a bit scary.

"You can speak," I said.

"Sleep well, beautiful Bella."

I hung up and settled down to sleep.

The next day, Billy and Charlie were going out fishing, so Charlie left the house before I got up. That was something. I had a shower, washed my hair and shaved my legs.

I didn't eat breakfast, I was planning on being with Edward early enough to eat breakfast there. So I put on my cat suit, to save time when I reached the Cullens' house, got into my truck and drove over.

There was no need to warn them that I was coming, Alice would have seen that I was on my way. I pulled up outside the silent house. The front door was already open, so I walked in. Edward was knelt in the hallway, waiting for me.

I laughed, "I take it that your family have gone out," I said "unless this is for Jasper's benefit."

Edward didn't answer me. I grinned. "Alright, get up and come here," he trotted over and stood in front of me, with his head still slightly bowed, I hadn't actually told him to look at me. "I haven't had my breakfast yet," I said, "so you can make it for me. Won't that be nice?"

"Possibly not," Edward said, and I could hear from his voice that he was smirking again, "I don't actually know how to cook."

"Silly Edward," I scolded him, "I know that. I'm going to teach you. This is a very important part of your training. Today you're going to learn how to cook, starting with a decent breakfast." I wondered what he thought of my plan, "look at me," I said, so that I could see his eyes.

He was smiling his crooked smile, that I loved.

"Come on, then," I said, "follow me. We're going to start with you learning how to make coffee." He followed me, still smiling, I think that he thought it was amusing that I would try and teach him anything at all. Alice had said that he would try to show off, but she was convinced that he would be forced to acknowledge that this was an area in which I had him well and truly beat.

"You seem pretty confident," I commented, noting his relaxed stance and slightly teasing smile.

He shrugged and leant casually against the counter, "I don't imagine that making a cup of coffee is all that taxing. I'm sure that I'll manage."

"Alright then, get everything we need together."

He stood there and stared at me. He had probably thought that I was going to make coffee and he was going to watch and be unimpressed. He hadn't expected me to test him straight away.

He hesitated for so long, that I said, "Fourth rule, Edward, when I tell you to do something, you do it."

Edward frowned, he wasn't absolutely sure what I needed to make coffee, but he was going to make a pretty good guess. He darted about the kitchen at vampire speed, so that I couldn't see what he was doing.

When he stopped, there was an interesting array of items laid out on the kitchen table.

He'd found milk and sugar and mugs. He had put out a jar of coffee beans. But he didn't seem entirely sure which of the many kitchen appliances I was going to need. He provided a kettle, various saucepans and an espresso maker, as well as the coffee peculator, and, strangely an electronic mixer. All the equipment was high-spec, new and looked as though it had never been used.

I looked at his suggested items and then back at him. "Alright," I said, "most of this makes some kind of sense. I do need the coffee beans and I do take milk in my coffee. But I don't take sugar, so we won't need that at all. We're only going to heat the water once, so it's over-kill to offer me a kettle and an espresso machine, various saucepans and a coffee peculator, but, we'll get back to that. I have to ask, what do you want to do with an electronic mixer?"

He glared at the machine in question, as though it had deliberately climbed onto the table in order to make him look foolish. "I thought it might be useful," he said, "the box said that it could be used to produce coffee cake."

I giggled, "um . . . coffee cake isn't a stage in the production of coffee," I told him, "it's a cake that is flavoured with coffee. You know what a cake is, don't you?"

He narrowed his eyes at me, "yes, Bella," he said, "I know what cake is. But, why would anyone want to eat coffee in cake form? That sounds doubly disgusting."

I laughed at him, "Edward, as long as I'm human I will be eating. Perhaps you should try and get over your hatred of human food. I don't hate mountain lions. Now, we're going to use the coffee peculator, so put away all the things that we're not going to need."

He did so. "Good job," I said, and he smiled at me again. "Now I can teach you how to make coffee. Basically, the idea is to boil water and slowly let it seep through the coffee grounds, then you wind up with water that's flavoured with coffee. Ok?"

"We had coffee when I was alive," Edward said sulkily, "I do know how to make coffee."

I grinned, "in that case you can make the coffee," I said, "but, just in case, you're not quite right, I think that you should tell me your plans before you try anything. I don't want you to break the machine. So, what do you do first?"

"We um . . . heat up the water," he said, "you told me that you didn't need the kettle or the saucepans, so I guess there's a heating element in this thing. We could put the water in this jug at the bottom and turn it on."

"We could," I agreed, "but we wouldn't be making coffee, we'd be making a jug of cold water. Guess again."

He scowled at me, "well, there aren't many places to put the water," he said, "do we heat it up, before putting it in the jug?"

"Nope." I smiled at him, I wasn't going to help until he admitted that he had no idea what he was doing. "Try again."

He picked up the peculator and turned it over in his hands a couple of times. Then he grinned, "we'll put water in here," he said, indicating the water chamber, "then it will heat up."

I nodded, "you got there in the end," I told him, "now, what do we do next?"

"Turn it on, surely."

"We'd end up with hot water, Edward, and I was hoping to have coffee. Try again."

He frowned at the peculator again, as if he was hoping that it was going to tell him. "There should be instructions on these things," he said, "I could use it, if you'd let me read the manual."

"I'm here," I reminded him, "and I already know how to use it. If you're ready to admit that you can't do this, then I'll help you."

Edward was frustrated, he couldn't understand how I was so clear on something that confused him. How come I knew something that he didn't know?

"Well," I pushed him, "choose: do you want my help, or can you do this yourself?"

He scowled at the coffee peculator, he looked angrily at the milk and the jar of beans. He glared at the mug, as if he thought that it ought to be full of coffee by now. He stared at everything and finally, he sighed and gave in.

"I can't do it," he said, "please will you help me?"

"Sure," I came over and gave him a quick hug, "your peculator needs filter papers, you've probably got some." I reached into the cupboard where the teabags had been, and located an unopened box of coffee filter papers. "You're also going to need something to grind the beans, I wonder . . ." I leaned down and found an electronic grinder under the counter. "Ok, now, first you need to put cold water in the water tank."

He did so, looking at me for approval. I smiled at him and watched his scowl disappear. He might not like being confused, but Edward was very happy being told what to do.

"Now we need to grind the beans into powder, put a couple of tablespoons of beans in here," I showed him how to use the electronic grinder. He looked at it suspiciously. "What's wrong?" I asked him.

"I don't like your hands being so near spinning blades," he said, "your hands could get cut."

"How do you suggest I grind coffee beans?" I asked him.

He grinned at me and took a handful of coffee beans and closed his hand on them. When he opened his hand, it was full of finely ground coffee.

I laughed, "that's very neat," I said, "we could get you a job at Starbucks. Now you've got a handful of coffee, I'll have to put the filter paper in for you. There, you need to put the coffee in there. I hope that your hands are clean."

He shook the coffee into the machine and frowned at his coffee-stained hands. "Turn the machine on," I said, then I let him wash the coffee from his hands. The machine began to gurgle and hiss as the water heated. Edward glared at it again. "Now what?" I asked him.

"It sounds dangerous and I think that it's going to get very hot. You could get burned or scalded."

"It's perfectly safe, Edward. Honestly, just wait until I show you how to make a meal. There's knives and ovens and all sorts of dangerous things."

He narrowed his eyes, I don't think that he thought the idea of me being anywhere near knives was funny.

"Come on," I said, "while the coffee's brewing, we can make me something to eat. I've already waited quite a while for my breakfast this morning."

He scowled one last time at the peculator, convinced that it had been at fault all along. I giggled at him and said, "right, are you still trying to prove something, or are you going to pay attention and let me teach you?"

He looked a little bit sheepish now, "I'm going to pay attention, Bella," he said.

"Good, you can make me scrambled eggs on toast, that's nice and easy. Find some bread and put two slices in the toaster. Now find a saucepan and put a little bit of butter in the bottom. Now get some eggs, because you'll need them very soon. Alright, put the saucepan on the hob and turn the heat up to melt the butter." He moved very fast, it was strange seeing him do things almost the instant that I said them. He hesitated slightly over the gas hob, so I came over and showed him how to light it.

That turned out to be a lot more dramatic than I'd expected. When the gas flared up, Edward leapt back and pulled me away from the oven, manoeuvring us so that his body was between me and the fire.

Not being terrified of oven hobs, I tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but he was holding me too tightly. He was capitalising on his superior strength. I hated it when he did that. I was imprisoned in his arms. This was exactly what was wrong with our relationship. I was trying to make scrambled eggs, of all things, and now Edward was panicking and holding me so tightly that I couldn't move. Here I was trying to cook breakfast and he was leaping about like a parody of a body-guard.

"Edward," I said, in my stern voice again, "what were the rules?"

Edward realised that he'd annoyed me, he loosened his grip on me, hung his head and recited: "First rule: I don't speak unless I'm spoken to. Second rule: I don't move without permission. Third rule: when you ask me a question I answer straight away. Fourth rule: when you tell me to do something, I do it."

"That's right. So, how come you're pushing me around?"

He sighed, "I was afraid that the oven would hurt you because fire is dangerous to humans. But, I broke the second rule, I'm sorry. Do I have to write more lines?"

"You have to learn not to push me around," I said, "remind me to punish you later, first you're going to make my scrambled eggs. Put the saucepan over the heat and let the butter melt. Once it's melted, you need to crack the eggs into the saucepan. I don't want shell in my scrambled eggs, are you going to be able to crack the eggs without dropping shell into the pan?"

"Yes, Bella," he sounded a bit sorry for himself, he was probably wondering what I was going to do to him. That was a coincidence, because I was wondering just the same thing. Rose and Alice had given me a long list of potential punishments, and Alice had said that I would have to be strict today. But I felt a bit bad about scolding him when he had only wanted to protect me. On the other hand, half the point of this exercise was to teach Edward that I didn't need to be protected from things like ovens.

"Isn't fire equally dangerous for vampires?" I asked, leading him by the hand back to the perfectly-controlled gas hob.

"Yes, Bella" he said meekly.

I put the pan on the hob, and this time Edward stood next to me like a good student. The butter melted and Edward glanced my way to check that it was alright to add the eggs, I nodded at him and watched (secretly impressed) as he neatly cracked the eggs between his fingers and let them fall into the pan.

"You have to stir the eggs with a fork constantly while they're cooking," I told him, "that's what makes them scrambled eggs. And you need to season them now too. You need to add a pinch of salt and a pinch of pepper, just enough to bring out the flavour of the eggs."

He raised one eyebrow, wondering how I was going to suggest he checked the seasoning level. I smiled and said, "move over, I'll do the seasoning myself, but you can pay attention so that you can make me eggs all by yourself next time." Edward nodded seriously and watched me taste the eggs and add a touch more pepper. "Alright?" I asked.

"Do I have to taste it?" he said, grimacing.

"Silly," I said, "I thought that you had a super vampire sense of smell. This is what I like my scrambled eggs to smell like."

He looked as though he thought I had very strange taste, but he nodded again.

While we'd been having fun with scrambled eggs, the toast had finished and the coffee had brewed. I supervised the pouring of coffee and the addition of a small amount of milk (Edward seemed to think that an equal ratio of coffee to milk would make more sense). I got Edward to put the toast on a plate and spread a thin layer of butter on top, then I poured the eggs over the toast. He looked at the eggs regretfully.

"You told me to remind you to punish me, once you'd finished making the eggs," he said, "so, I guess that I have to ask for my punishment now. I disobeyed you and moved without permission," he said, "what are you going to do to me?"

He hung his head and looked up at me thorough his eyelashes, probably looking deliberately cute in hope of being let off.

"It's very inconvenient having to punish you," I said, "I wish that you would just behave yourself. Alright, since you were being over-protective and invading my personal space, you'll have to stay here, while I go and eat my breakfast in the lounge. You can wash-up while I'm gone, and then you can wait for me, right here. I suppose we'll have to have another rule, no touching me without express permission. Understood?"

"Yes, Bella. Thank you for taking the trouble to think of a punishment for me." I was surprised that he said that, and I thought back and tried to remember exactly what I'd said to him yesterday. I must have made him thank me for setting him lines, and, being a perfect vampire with a flawless memory, he'd remembered and thanked me again.

I walked into the lounge with my coffee and my eggs on toast. I turned on the TV so that I wouldn't feel strange, sitting in the Cullens' living room by myself. It's an impressive TV: huge and HD, of course. The first show that came on had me spell-bound; I could see every leaf on every tree, so clearly I could imagine reaching out and touching them. I caught a detective show that was only about a third of the way in and, while I was eating, the show captured my attention. By the time I'd finished my eggs, I was curious enough to stay just to find out who'd done it. I have to admit, I had actually forgotten that Edward was waiting for me in the kitchen, convinced that I was leaving him alone because he'd displeased me. The TV show was trashy, but it was that kind of trashy that you can't tear your eyes away from. It turned out that the ex-girlfriend had committed the murder and tried to make it look like a suicide. I was quite pleased because I'd hated that character from the moment I saw her over-painted face with it's bright red lips. It's nice when a television character you dislike turns out to be a murderer. I was pretty cheerful as I returned my dirty dishes to the Cullen's kitchen.

I'd forgotten about Edward, so I was surprised that, when the show ended and I returned to the kitchen, he was knelt on the floor, with his head hung down and his shoulders shaking. It was a heart-breaking sight. He looked so unhappy. The game was only supposed to make a simple point: that I wasn't a weak and useless human. I had never intended to make Edward cry.

I put my dirty plate and mug in the sink and knelt down opposite him.

"Are you alright?" I asked, feeling horrendously guilty for leaving him for twenty minutes. I ought to have been more careful with him. I knew that he was rather sensitive at the moment. How could I have been so thoughtless?

"I'm sorry that I made you cross," he said, like a little boy, his voice catching as he struggled to steady his breathing, "please, don't leave me here alone again. Being left by you, it just hurts too much."

"Edward, I only went into the living room, you know that. What on earth went through your mind?"

"I was thinking about what it felt like to be left by you. You walked away from me, as if you didn't care. You walking away physically hurt me." He was trying hard to convert his breathing pattern from staggered sobbing to normal speech. It made him sound very young. "Then I realised what I'd done to you that day in the woods. I just walked away. You hadn't even done anything wrong. I'm so sorry, Bella." He swallowed at the end, a strangely human action, there being no tears for him to choke back.

"Sssh, it's ok, Edward. I forgive you for leaving me. I know why you did it, and I forgive you. It's alright now, you're not going to do it again. Nobody is leaving anybody. Is the training game upsetting you? Are the rules too hard?"

He shook his head, and when he spoke again his voice was level, "I know that the rules ought to be easy to follow and I didn't mean to break them. I didn't like being left on my own. I have learnt my lesson and I will try harder now."

"Come here," I said, wrapping my arms around him, "everything is ok. You're having a hard day. It's not easy changing the way that you act. But, I really appreciate you making an effort to please me. Tomorrow, the game will be all over and you won't have to worry about the rules anymore. I'll wash up these last couple of things and then we'll go play something new before I teach you how to make lunch."

I made Edward sit at the kitchen table whilst I did the washing-up. I didn't want him back on his knees again. He was being extra-careful not to break any rules now.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: The 'Twlight' series is worth a lot of money. Unfortunately, I don't own any of the rights to the books, films or merchandise. However, I have written a story based on the 'Twilight' series, and that was a lot of fun to do.

Author's Note: Be warned this chapter contains tiny references to the things that mummies and daddies do when they love each other very, very much. I don't think that it's anything teenagers shouldn't know about, but I told my kids about the birds and the bees when they were four, so perhaps I can't be trusted.

I left the dishes to drain and took Edward upstairs to his room. I told him to sit on the bed, and laughed at the hopeful look in his eyes. "I wasn't going to do what you're thinking about," I told him, "not first off, anyway. I'm going to play dress up with you."

Edward watched me quizzically as I ransacked his wardrobe.

Of course, this had been Alice's idea, but I thought that it was a good one. I knew that her insistence on dressing me had an effect on me, so I could imagine that it would affect Edward if I chose his outfit.

Edward's wardrobe was neatly arranged. There was a rack of tops, arranged by sleeve-length and then by colour, and a rack of pants. Sweaters were neatly folded and piled on an upper shelf. I stretched up on tip-toes, but I couldn't reach his sweaters.

"Come here," I said, tapping my riding crop against my thigh, "fetch down your sweaters for me and put them on the floor." I stepped back and watched him. I couldn't reach the top shelf on my tip-toes, and Edward had to stretch. I enjoyed the sight of him reaching up, it made his top ride up, revealing a line of perfect white skin across his back. I wondered if I could think of any more high things that I could ask him to reach down for me. When he fetched the sweaters, he carefully laid them on the floor in a row. He looked even better bending down than he did stretching up. When he bent over to put things on the floor, his pants tightened over his backside and I saw the perfect sculptured shape of him. Hmmm . . . maybe I would have to bend him over more often. Sadly, he completed his task rapidly. Maybe I should tell him that faster wasn't always better. "Good. Now, you can go back to where you were."

He sat on the edge of the bed watching me as I fingered all his clothes, holding them up against each other and trying to decide what I liked best. I selected two pairs of pants and four shirts. Then I turned to Edward.

"Strip," I said, "down to your boxers."

He had never, and I mean never, taken his clothes off in front of me before. He hesitated and seemed to be trying to decide if it was worth speaking out of turn in order to protest.

I cracked my crop down hard; as before, the sound made him jump. He stood up quickly and, with a rapid grace, he obeyed me, he stripped. I had been certain that he would argue with me. But, he didn't. He didn't say a single word. He just did as I told him.

Suddenly Edward was standing in front of me wearing nothing but his boxers. It was a very, very pretty sight. I stared at his chest, which was wash-board flat and perfectly white, like marble; and at his legs, which were toned and strong and gorgeous. I glanced up at his face and saw that he was smirking at me.

It was like the day before, when he'd enjoyed seeing how the force of him dropping to his knees nearly knocked me over. Now he was enjoying seeing how his beauty made me gasp and stare at him. I grinned back, because I'd learned something during the course of this game: this gorgeous guy belonged to me. His body was my property and I had just as dramatic an effect on him as he did on me. I could make him whimper by kissing him slowly and it made him cry when I left him alone for twenty minutes. He could smirk if he wanted to, I knew now that, had I been standing in front of him in only my underwear, he would be gasping too. It was absurd, but I knew it was true: I sent Edward Cullen wild.

"Take one step forward," I said, "then turn around on the spot very slowly, I want to see you." He did so. His back was as gorgeous as his front, he held himself perfectly straight and tall. His profile view was utterly incredible. I loved his strong arms and the dip of his spine. I loved the way his hair fell on his neck and the square set of his shoulders. I wondered if I could get him to spin around again, or perhaps something else. He would look deliciously sexy doing press-ups. But then a horrible thought came to me. What if he one day asked me to reciprocate. I could hardly refuse to spin for him, if I had made him prance around in front of me. No, I would have to be sparing in my demands.

"Very good," I said, and I enjoyed seeing him smirk at me again, "come here, and put these pants on. I want to see how they look on you."

I held them out carefully, ensuring that our hands didn't touch when he took his pants from me. I had a feeling that, if we did touch, it would be very hard indeed for us to stop, and I didn't want to push either of us beyond the temptation that we could bear.

He pulled the pants on quickly, almost as though he was relieved to be half-dressed again. I wondered if he was at all embarrassed to be standing in front of me in his underwear. I would have been bright red, but then, I don't look the way that Edward does. He had _nothing_ to be ashamed of.

"Turn around," I said again, "I want to see what they look like at the back." Once he'd got his back to me, I screwed up my courage and said, "bend over, I want to check that they fit right." There was a slight hesitation, but, he did as I said. Man, that guy has a fine ass! It's the kind of ass that explains why people have spanking fetishes. I would love to do just about anything that allowed me to get my hands on that taut backside of his.

"Alright," I said, "stand up and face me again, pants off."

He was getting the hang of this, he didn't pause, he just did as he was told. And, it turned out that I wasn't the only one who was enjoying myself. I could see, now that he was facing me again, that Rose had been very right, Edward liked to be told what to do. I had him spinning around, stripping and bending over on command and he was very definitely excited He also looked pretty big, but that was not something that I was going to dwell on today. Much as the idea of a full strip appealed, I was going to let him keep his boxers on.

"Try these," I said, tossing the second pair of pants over to him. Obediently he tried them on. This time, when I told him to turn around and to bend over, there wasn't even the slightest pause. "Stand up, face me, put this on," I threw over the first shirt in my pile.

It was great watching Edward take his clothes off and put them back on again. I didn't risk touching him at all. I just got him to dress and undress on command. I mean, obviously, I was thinking about a day (hopefully soon) when telling him to strip would just be the precursor to an awful lot more fun, but today I was content just to watch.

I had him try on two shirts with the second pair of pants. Then I had him switch back to the first pair of pants and try on another two shirts. Then I made him put the second pair of pants back on and try a fifth shirt that I took out of the wardrobe. Finally I settled on the second pair of pants and the first shirt. Edward didn't say a word. He obeyed me perfectly, he didn't put a toe out of line. He watched my eyes whenever he was facing me and he smirked a bit, but he didn't look annoyed or frustrated. It was almost as though he was enjoying watching me as I took pleasure in his sexy body.

When I was happy with his outfit, I sat down in one of the little armchairs and told him that he could tidy up. He grinned at me and raised his eyebrows as if he was thinking about making a clever remark, but he obviously decided that it wasn't worth the risk. He put all of his clothes away, then knelt back down in his 'default' position, waiting for my next command.

"Look at me. Did you enjoy that?" I asked him.

"I liked seeing you happy," he said, "and I liked that you enjoyed looking at me." He smiled a natural smile.

"You didn't mind being ogled, then?"

He grinned "I like it when you ogle me," he said, "I want you to enjoy looking at me. It makes me feel attractive."

"You're extremely attractive," I told him, "do you like the outfit I picked for you?"

This time he shrugged, "it's very nice," he said, "I like very much that you chose it."

"Do you want to come down to the kitchen and learn some more cooking skills?"

He smirked wickedly "there are a few things that I would like to do more," he said, "but, I am at your disposal, and I will enjoy anything that allows me to be with you." I could hardly believe that this was Edward. He was flirting with me. Obviously letting go of a bit of control made him feel freer. I suppose it was like the kiss yesterday: if I was in charge, then I would make sure we didn't go too far and Edward could afford to enjoy himself a little. I ought to have taken some responsibility for setting boundaries earlier. If I'd known that the result would be a flirtatious Edward, then I'd have taken control ages ago!

"Come on then" I said and led him downstairs again. When we got to the kitchen I told him that I was going to teach him to bake a lemon drizzle cake and then how to make a simple pasta dish for my lunch. He was extremely attentive and quiet this time. He didn't glare at the kitchen utensils, he concentrated on what I asked him to do and beamed when I commended him.

"We're going to make a cake first then, while it's in the oven, we'll make my lunch. Here's the recipe – you can start by getting all the ingredients out. Let me know, if you need any help."

Edward nodded obediently and darted off to get all the bits and pieces together. He stopped to ask me sweetly what kind of sugar we needed because the recipe didn't state it. I was rather impressed. Had I asked him to perform this task this morning, he would have lined up every kind of sugar he could find and given them death-glares. So, that was progress: he was considering asking for my advice from time to time.

Once the ingredients were out, I told him that he could try and follow the recipe, and I'd help if he needed it. Measuring out the butter and the sugar was simple enough.

"I'm guessing that 'creaming' is intended to convey violence of some sort," Edward mused, "since I haven't got any actual cream."

"Violence?"

"Er . . . it's a term that I've heard Emmett employ. Too old-fashioned?"

"Exactly right, as a matter of fact, you need to beat the butter and sugar with a wooden spoon until they resemble cream. But, you'll want to start off gently, or there'll be sugar everywhere."

"Yes, Bella."

He took the wooden spoon that I offered him and twirled it about between his fingers, assessing the sight of butter and sugar in a bowl.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm a little out of my depth. How exactly does one 'beat' butter?"

I took the spoon from him and demonstrated. This was a brand new experience for both of us: Edward watching me and learning how to do something. He was a flawless imitator. Taking the spoon back and perfectly recreating my actions. I was slightly surprised to find that vampire speed and strength wasn't very useful when making a cake. It turns out that butter and sugar can only be beaten so fast. Edward was no quicker than I was.

He had been so obedient and sweet, and we'd been having so much fun, that I was shocked when he smirked at me and started being cheeky.

"Are you sure that you need eggs in this recipe?" he asked, when he read the next step, "isn't there a limit to how many eggs one human should eat in a day? We could use fewer eggs, that would make the cake healthier." As he spoke, Edward laid his hand on top of the box of eggs, staking his claim to it. Clearly he was under the impression that if he was baking the cake, then he was in control of the eggs. I wondered if he planned on physically preventing me from putting eggs in the mixture. That wasn't the point of today at all.

"Edward," I folded my arms, "are you speaking out of turn?"

Instead of being cowed by my reminder of the rules, he answered me smoothly, with a touch of arrogance. "No, Bella; you said that I could talk."

"I told you to let me know if you needed any help. Now, please continue following the recipe."

Since he'd been so good, I was hoping that we could both just pretend that his previous remark hadn't happened. Alice would be ashamed of me, of course, but I was intending to let this one rule violation go. Unfortunately, Edward wasn't in the mood to let it go. He was sure that he was right, and determined to keep on until I agreed with him. "Bella, I'm trying to help you stay healthy. It's important that you take care of your body. Too much fat is bad for you."

I sighed. I'd thought that, after this morning's scene, the arguing was over and my point had been made. I was wrong. I would have to make the point again.

"On your knees." I deliberately echoed the words that had begun the game.

Edward recognised them and he had the sense to shut his mouth and the foresight to wince. He dropped to the floor and hung his head.

"What are the rules, Edward?"

"First rule: I don't speak unless I'm spoken to. Second rule: I don't move without permission. Third rule: when you ask me a question I answer straight away. Fourth rule: when you tell me to do something, I do it. Fifth rule: I don't touch you without permission."

"So, just now, when you decided to argue with me, were you sticking to the rules?"

"No, Bella. I broke the first rule. I spoke out of turn three times. Then I broke the fourth rule; instead of doing as I was told, I continued to speak without permission. Plus, I was disrespectful."

"Is it your job to take care of my health?"

"No, Bella."

"Do you know better than I do about my body and how to care for it?"

"No, Bella."

All trace of arrogance and argument was gone now. Now the meek and mild Edward was back, submissively kneeling, answering my questions and looking down at the floor.

He was so beautiful and so strong. Having control of this powerful being sent a tingling thrill through my stomach. It felt like flying down a log flume.

I found myself remembering 'The Tempest' and how hard Prospero had worked to control Ariel. These powerful, mythical beings are not meant to be harnessed by humans. Mere mortals have no right to control the supernatural. I had always felt sorry for Ariel, bound by the evil wizard, imprisoned in a tree. Now, here at my feet was my own Ariel: bound by his love for me. I was imprisoning him: making up rules, forcing him to submit. It wasn't right. He was bound to strain against every rule that I made for him.

He belonged somewhere wilder than a human kitchen. He belonged out in the air, surrounded by his own kind. How could I complain that he thought himself superior to me? By every possible measure he was superior to me!

And yet.

And yet, if we were to have any kind of relationship, there would have to be mutual respect. And yet, he loved me and he was bound to me; I couldn't set him free even if I wanted to. And yet, I couldn't be harnessed either. I couldn't live as his little-woman. I couldn't always submit to him. I couldn't allow him to walk all over me. Where would it end? Would he lock me away and not allow me to make my own decisions ever again? I had to stand up for myself.

There he knelt: my angel with clipped wings.

"Oh, Edward, what am I going to do with you?"

I'd meant it rhetorically, but he replied anyway, "you're going to punish me for breaking the rules and being cheeky, Bella."

He brought me out of my fancy and back into the kitchen and into the game that we were playing. He knew his role and I should get on with playing mine. Alice and Rose had suggested a whole raft of potential punishments: stripping him of his clothes, setting him chores, press-ups, confiscating his things, withholding affection. But, when I looked at my Edward, none of those seemed fair. They were all aimed at humbling him and reminding him that I was in charge of the game. That was unnecessary He was already chastened. He already knew that he'd displeased me. He knew what he'd done wrong and he didn't plan on repeating it. All I really wanted to do was to fix this moment and this mood into his mind so that he didn't forget. I just wanted this lesson to sink in: my body belongs to me. I wanted to impress into his mind the image of me as someone who should be respected. Perhaps then he would continue to show me some respect once the game was over.

"Go and stand in the corner, facing the wall. I want you to spend some time thinking about what just happened."

He rose to his feet and walked slowly over to his place. "Thank you for punishing me, Bella" he said.

I wasn't going to leave him alone again. Instead, I sat down at the kitchen table, pulled a book out of my bag, and began to read.

After a chapter, I put my book away and looked over to check on my Edward.

He hadn't moved a muscle. He was stood in his corner, back straight and hands clasped behind it. His head bowed. His feet perfectly lined up; toes pointing into the corner. He wasn't even breathing.

"Alright," I said, fighting the urge to throw myself at him. A hug from me was probably the last thing that he wanted right now. "Your time's up. You can come back here now."

Edward turned around slowly and walked carefully back, keeping his face down. Once he was in front of me, he returned to his knees. He never looked up. He kept his eyes, and his lips, and his perfect cheekbones hidden.

I couldn't bear it. Even if there was hatred in his eyes, I had to see them.

"Look at me."

He looked up. And there was no hatred. There was love and acceptance and there was desire. I don't know exactly what Edward had been thinking about whilst he'd stood in the corner, but when he came out his eyes were almost scandalous. He looked at me as though he was seeing me naked.

All my thoughts of conversation and understanding went out of the window. I knelt in front of him and pressed my lips against his. I kissed him hungrily. I put my hand behind his neck and tugged him by the hair until his face was tilted into my kiss. I pulled his love for me out of his mouth, because I needed to feel it inside me. I needed him inside of me. I had to feel that he loved me.

He responded eagerly, moving with me, pouring his kisses into me. It was wet and hot and I forgot everything except for that blissful feeling of his lips against mine, his breath mixing with mine, his face pressed so hard against mine that we were one thing. Our bodies were fused together by that desperate, needy kiss. I was sure that he needed it as much as I did.

It was a perfect moment: hot and wet and hard.

But, perfect moments, just like all other moments, must end. I had to breathe and, eventually, I would have to eat. The kiss couldn't last forever, though I hoped and prayed that the sudden connection that we'd found would.

"Are you ok?" I asked, remembering my guilt from before the kiss.

"Yes, Bella. I will be good now, I promise."

"You have more cooking to do," I reminded him, "come on. Let's finish making my lunch before I get so hungry I try to eat you!"

Edward kept his promise. He spoke only when spoken to. He made no cheeky remarks. He did exactly as he was told. And, weirdly, we both had a good time. I would have imagined that an obedient, scrupulously well-behaved Edward would be boring. But, he wasn't boring. Cooking together was fun.

He was obviously delighted when his cake (he'd done everything, all I did was stand by and instruct) rose perfectly, and only a tiny bit disappointed when I told him that I wouldn't taste it until it had cooled down a bit. He enjoyed making the pasta, and seemed thrilled to be providing my lunch. Now that he had relaxed about learning from me, he really seemed to enjoy himself. I realised that Edward loved to acquire new skills and he was excited to be doing something that could make me happy.

He sat with me, while I ate my lunch, careful not to stare, and he lit up when I complimented his cooking. I ate a slice of the cake for dessert and was pleased to find that it was genuinely good. I was seeing all sorts of new things about Edward today. I saw him uncertain and curious and I saw him turned on, and now I saw him pleased with his new skill as a cook.

Since he'd been so good, I let him off washing-up duty and did it myself. I was surprised to see that his smile faltered a bit. When I asked him what was wrong he frowned and fiddled with his hands.

"I thought that I was doing alright," he said, "but you've taken over the washing-up. I was watching you and trying to work out what I'd been doing wrong."

I laughed at him, "you didn't do anything wrong. I'm doing the washing-up because it isn't fair to make you do it all day. You're not even eating."

"I like doing things for you" he said, "it feels good to be helpful in a normal, human way, will you let me?"

"Are you kidding? Edward, you can do the washing-up whenever you want." I sat down at the table and watched him get on with it. His delight in winning this chore away from me reminded me of when I'd been very young and I'd wanted to do the ironing. Renee wouldn't let me, of course, because it was dangerous, but she had allowed me to iron one skirt under her close supervision, and I had been ecstatic. The ironing was just a boring chore to me now, but I could remember how I had felt when it had been new and exciting. Edward seemed just as thrilled with the washing-up. I wondered how long it would be before he lost interest in washing-up and cooking for me. If I was very lucky, he wouldn't lose interest before I was changed. Not only did I have a boyfriend who doubled up as a bean grinder; for the moment I had a boyfriend who thought that being asked to do the washing-up was a reward for good behaviour.

He finished and put everything away, then he returned to his knees. It was starting to feel normal to see Edward kneeling on the floor, waiting for me. I hoped that we would both remember to end the game before his family came home.

"Come on," I said, standing up again, "we're going to the lounge."

He was smiling when he stood up; he looked proud of himself. I realised that he felt that he'd improved on his earlier behaviour. At breakfast, he'd been left alone while I went into the lounge, after lunch I was allowing him to come with me. I sat down on a couch and Edward, not sure where I wanted him, knelt down in front of me.

"I'm going to teach you a new skill, now" I said, "if you're going to be the perfect boyfriend, you're going to need to learn how to rub my feet. Girls like that."

I reached down and slipped off my shoes, then I held my feet out for Edward to take. He was very careful at first, so I had to tell him that it was important that he didn't tickle my feet. The idea was to rub them in a soothing motion, not to tickle them. He took foot-rubbing as seriously as he'd taken cake-baking. He listened to my instructions and obeyed me. He remembered everything that I said and, of course, he could repeat movements flawlessly. Actually, teaching Edward how to do something was incredibly easy. Whenever he did something that felt good, I told him that I was pleased and he added it to his repertoire I wondered why I'd never thought of taking advantage of his vampire nature before. His ability to remember exactly what I liked and to never get tired, made him a brilliant masseuse Of course, one day I would be able to ask Edward to rub more than just my feet, but I was taking things one step at a time.

Edward seemed just as happy as I was. He loved being told that he was doing something right and he seemed to enjoy watching me get happier and more relaxed as he rubbed my feet. He was even comfortable on his knees. It's very soothing to be with someone who never fidgets or gets uncomfortable. If I'd been kneeling down for half an hour, my feet would have gone to sleep and I'd have been aching all over. But Edward was still poised and calm.

"You've got very good at this, very fast," I told him, "that feels amazing."

Edward grinned at me, and carried on rubbing his fingers in light circles down the sides of my feet. It was so lovely being with him and seeing him smile. I didn't want to have to be 'mean Bella' anymore. I wanted to love him and hug up with him instead. Alice and Rose would be disappointed in me. They would say that I hadn't finished the job, but I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to enjoy being with Edward. I didn't need him to change. If he liked bossing me around and not listening to me, then I should just let him get on with it.

"I'm sorry that I've been a bit mean to you today," I continued, "we don't actually get days to ourselves very often and I don't want to waste a whole day ordering you around. Do you want to stop playing the game now?"

"No thank you, Bella," Edward said, continuing to contentedly caress my feet.

"Why not?" I'd never imagined that he would want to keep playing. Hadn't I made him cry this morning?

"I think that I'm learning a lot," he said, "I don't just mean that about cooking and rubbing your feet, though I've liked learning those things too. I mean that I've learnt a lot about you, Bella. You're much more complicated than I realised. And you're very good at being in charge. Even though I'm not allowed to speak without permission, you still make sure that you listen to me and know what I'm thinking. I like you being in charge; haven't you noticed that we haven't fought at all today? I think that maybe you should be in charge always. I'm not sure about the kneeling on the floor, it might be a bit embarrassing when everyone gets home, but I think that I can handle that if it means that we stop fighting. I trust you, Bella."

Of course I wanted us to stop fighting too. But I didn't think that the best solution was for Edward to submit to my every whim. The game was kind of fun, but I wanted a partner, not a servant.

"Edward," I said, "I want to be equals. I don't want to be in charge. I think that there are probably plenty of people telling you what to do at the moment, you don't need another one."

He smiled my favourite crooked smile, then he knelt up, leaned over me and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips, "alright," he said, "but can't we at least keep playing until they come home?"

"Well," I said slowly, then I gave him an evil smile, "are you sure that you want to do that? After all, if we're still playing, then you're in big trouble for speaking out of turn, moving without permission and kissing me without permission."

Edward winced "when you put it like that, I'm not sure that I do want to play anymore, thank you, Bella."

That was lucky, I didn't have anything to do to him if he broke all the rules at once. "Why don't you cuddle up and kiss me instead," I suggested, "wouldn't you like that?"

He grinned and pounced on me.

We cuddled on the couch together and talked about all the places that we would go once I was changed. There was so much that Edward wanted to show me, so many places that he wanted to see with me. It was wonderful to snuggle up together, just talking, just enjoying one another's company.

When I kissed him, he kissed me back and he didn't pull away. I had to break the kiss because I needed to breathe. I stared at Edward in wonder. What had happened to the boundaries?

"What was that?" I asked him.

"I think that it was a kiss," he said cheekily.

"But, you didn't stop us. Why didn't you pull away?"

Edward shrugged, "you showed me yesterday what it was like to be in the middle of a kiss and then have someone pull away from you. It doesn't feel nice. I don't want to do that to you anymore. We both know what the dangers are, so we can both think about when we need to stop. I shouldn't try to control everything all by myself."

Maybe Alice and Rose wouldn't be cross. Maybe I'd actually succeeded.

It was gone five, and I was beginning to think about dinner, when Edward's phone rang. He answered it with one hand, keeping his other arm loosely around my waist. He pulled me closer when he heard the person on the other end of the line speak.

"How?" he said, and he sounded agonised.

"I know" he said next.

Then, after a long pause, when I couldn't hear anything from the phone at all, Edward said, "yes, alright. Thank you, Alice" and he hung up the phone.

"They lost her," he said to me, "I'm sorry, it isn't over yet." He held me tight and pulled me onto his lap so that he could nestle me against his chest. With his arms wound tightly around me and his chin tucked over my chest, I felt so safe. Nothing would be able to get to me, while I was wrapped up in Edward like this. I wondered if he would agree to hold me forever and never let me go. But I knew that he wouldn't. Soon we would have to be apart again, and Victoria was still out there, just waiting for her chance. I shivered and Edward, misunderstanding me, peeled himself away so that I wasn't so tightly held.

"They're on their way back," he said, "and they'll explain everything when they get here."

"Is everyone safe?" I asked.

He chuckled grimly, "nobody's hurt," he said, "and we _are _going to keep you safe. I swear it, Bella, I will not let her touch you."

That wasn't what I meant. I wasn't really afraid that Victoria would get to me. That was to be expected. After all this time, my luck had to run out eventually. I just wished that my friends and family wouldn't put themselves in danger trying to protect me. Why couldn't they see that they were fighting an impossible battle?

It would be better if Victoria did get to me soon, then all the danger would be over. She would have what she wanted and she would leave everyone else alone. Of course I knew that they would be sad. But the vampires must be used to seeing humans die. It would be sad, but they would mourn me and they would get over it. I wouldn't be the first person to die young. I didn't want to think about them mourning, they would all feel guilty. The vampires and the wolves all thought that it was their duty to protect me. When Victoria finally did get me, they would all blame themselves. That was foolish, but unavoidable.

And Edward . . . he would be utterly convinced that it was his fault. He would go back into his spiral of guilt and he would . . . he would go back to Italy! That was the worst thought that I had ever had. But, I knew it was true. Edward had always said that he couldn't live without me. When he thought that I had died before, he had gone to Italy. If I really died this time, then he would do it again. He would kill himself! And I knew now what that would do to the rest of his family. It would destroy them. I had to stop him.

"Edward," I said, he was clinging to me, he must have heard my heart speed up, but he didn't know why, "I want you to promise me something."

"Anything, Bella," he said. He must still be thinking that I was afraid of Victoria. He probably thought I was going to ask him to come home with me tonight, to watch over me.

"If anything happens to me, and I die," I said, trying not to stumble over the last word, "you must promise that you won't try and kill yourself."

Edward didn't answer, he cuddled me close and he whimpered a bit. He couldn't bear the thought of me dying. I understood that. I hated the thought of him ever being killed. But, I had reason on my side. Edward could live forever. He was being silly.

"Promise me," I said again.

"I don't want to," Edward whispered, "I don't want to make a promise to you that I would have to break."

"Well, then, promise me and keep it," I pressed, "think about the rest of your family. Think about me. Do you want my last thought to be hopeless? If I die, I don't want to die knowing that my death will destroy you. Promise me that you won't hurt yourself and you won't put yourself in danger. Promise me."

"I won't let you die," he said, "I promise you that. I don't need to make any promises about what would happen if you died."

"Edward, that's not what I asked. Edward, remember what you said you learned today about trusting me? Trust me now and believe that I know what I'm saying. If you're determined to keep me safe, then you shouldn't worry about a promise that will never bind you. Promise me."

Edward groaned, "alright, Bella," he said slowly, "I promise you that I won't try to kill myself if you die. I won't put myself in any unnecessary danger. Now, um . . . much as I love the outfit, are you sure that you want the rest of my family to see you in it? They'll be home in two minutes."

Ah! I was still dressed up in my torturing-Edward outfit. "I can't get upstairs and changed in two minutes!" I shouted at him, "why didn't you warn me earlier? And, what am I going to wear?"

He smirked at me, "I did tell you as soon as I knew that they were on their way back. But you wanted to keep talking. I can get you upstairs in ten seconds, and I expect that Alice has left you some clothes in my room. May I carry you?"

I was pleased that he asked, but didn't he realise that we were in hurry? "Hurry up!" I said.

He scooped me into his arms and ran up the stairs with me. In ten seconds time I was in his room and he was passing me a bag with a note from Alice attached. 'Did you remember to hide the riding crop?'

"Ah!" I screamed, "we left my . . . um . . . accessory downstairs. You'll have to go and get it and hide it, quick."

Edward narrowed his eyes, "I don't want to touch it," he said.

"Don't be stupid, it's not a bomb, it's not going to go off in your hands. Do you want Carlisle and Esme to find it? Do you want Emmett and Jasper to know what we've been doing all day?"

I thought that Emmett would be the greater threat, he would never let Edward forget it if he found a riding crop. But, Edward winced when I said Jasper's name. Perhaps he had noted that I hadn't asked him if he was worried about Alice and Rose finding out. Perhaps he had just realised that Alice and Rose must already know what we'd been doing today.

"Alright," he said reluctantly, and he walked, at human speed, to the door.

"Hurry up!" I screamed, this was no time for dawdling.

As soon as Edward left the room, I peeled off my boots and struggled out of my stupid cat-suit. Goodness knows why anyone thinks it's sexy to wear an outfit that's so awkward to take off. Inside the bag from Alice, I found a pretty little summer dress with a blue gingham print and a pair of white patent leather sandals. There was no way that I would ever choose to wear something like this, unless I had absolutely no other options. Trust Alice to take advantage of the situation. I growled under my breath, but I put it on, because it was that or walk downstairs naked. I crammed the other outfit into the bag and threw it under Edward's bed. Then I heard a discrete knock on the door.

I panicked, who was it? Would they find the shameful bag? Why wasn't Edward here to protect me from his nosy family? Was he downstairs trying to explain away the riding crop? "Who is it?" I called out in a voice so nervous it cracked twice in three words.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I'm not Stephanie Meyer (though I look just like her ;-)); I didn't write and don't own the 'Twilight' series. However, I did write the story below, so the basic ideas and characters are no credit to me and the nonsense is all my fault.

"Bella, it's Edward, who else would it be?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Well, come in then. Why would you knock on your own bedroom door?"

"I didn't want to walk in on you changing," he said, walking in, "here," he held the crop out to me, as if he thought it might bite him, "please take it."

I laughed, "what is with you and that thing?" I asked, "it couldn't hurt you; all it did was make a loud noise." I took it from him anyway, and turned it over in my hands a few times. I was fiddling with it, until I noticed that Edward was eyeing me nervously again. "Does the noise hurt your head?" I asked, since that was the only explanation that I'd come up with for his obvious fear of something that he could easily snap between his fingers.

He shrugged, "something like that," he said.

Well, I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. So I tucked the riding crop away in the bag and pushed the bag back under the bed.

"Are you going to leave it there?" Edward asked, he was crazy about that thing. Maybe he should see someone. A fear of riding crops is kind of weird. Is there even a name for that? I know that there are names for loads of fears, I have Aichmophobia (fear of needles) and I think that I'm developing Ereuthrophobia (fear of blushing) but what about riding crops? There's a word for the fear of horses (Equinophobia), but surely not for the fear of short sticks that are used to control horses. My mind wandered for so long, as I tried to think of the word for Edward's little problem, that he asked me "what are you thinking?"

I giggled, "I was wondering if there was a word for this phobia of yours," I told him.

"Rhabdophobia" he said so quickly that I wasn't quite sure I heard correctly. "They're back."

"Maybe you should see someone," I said, "I guess that therapy isn't really an option for vampires. Unless there's a vampire therapist. Actually, you know who would be a really great therapist? Jasper. You should talk to Jasper."

He stared at me, as though I'd suddenly started talking a new language that he didn't understand, "my family are back," he repeated, "do you want to hear what happened?"

"Sure, what happened?" I wondered why I was sounding so flippant. I guess it was because this wasn't exactly the first time that I'd been hunted by a homicidal vampire. After a while, it starts to get a bit samey. Either that, or I had been through so much over the last few months that I was starting to lose my mind. I really hoped that it was the 'samey' thing.

"I can't tell you," he said, "I wasn't there."

"I know that," I sighed an exasperated sigh at him, "but you can read their minds, so surely you can tell me what they're thinking."

"Right now, Alice is pleased that you put on the dress and everyone else is wondering why you want me to go into therapy," he said angrily, "please can we go downstairs and change the topic of conversation?"

I let him take my hand and we walked downstairs together. Since we were walking and he wasn't carrying me at break-neck (mine, not his) speed, I had time to ask him "I'm not as scared as I should be right now; do you think that I'm going crazy? Maybe we should both go into therapy with Jasper."

"You're not crazy," he said, pulling me against his side, "and Jasper isn't the ideal therapist for either of us."

"Why not?" Jasper said, suddenly appearing at the bottom of the stairs, "I'm a qualified psychiatrist."

"A psychiatrist is just someone who pretends to be a doctor," Rosalie called from inside the lounge.

"Not again," Esme said, "we are not having this fight today. Everyone has a very nice collection of degrees . . ."

"Some of us have more than others," Edward whispered to me.

Esme continued, "and I am very proud of all of you."

"But most proud of those with the most degrees," Edward whispered again.

Esme finished "We are not going to discuss this. Understood?"

There was a chorus of 'yes, Esme's from the hall and the lounge.

"Rosalie, don't pick fights with your brother. Jasper, that last remark was uncalled for. And, I heard you whispering, Edward Cullen," Esme said again.

Edward scowled, "sorry, Esme." He said, before muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'stupid weak human hearing, can't whisper to my own girlfriend'.

We walked into the lounge and Esme glared at Edward, Jasper and Rosalie "I know that you're all worried, but, the way that you deal with stress is childish. Stop winding each other up" she said. They all sighed.

"Right," Carlisle said, "we need to fill you in on exactly what happened. Jasper finally caught her scent about two hours ago, we tracked her – with difficulty – and we eventually caught up with her thirty meters south of that cave where Emmett found the bear family last year."

All the family nodded, of course they all knew precisely where that was. It didn't make much difference to me. Even if Carlisle had drawn a map I probably wouldn't have known where he meant. My memory just wasn't good enough for me to know every little bit of the local terrain.

"We tried to surround her, of course," Carlisle continued, "but she somehow got past us, and we ended up chasing after her instead. She ran north-east. We almost caught her, but she crossed the Quileute border. Emmett was so involved in the chase that he stepped over the border."

I gasped, but nobody else seemed at all concerned, and Edward looked a bit bored. I guess he must have heard it all in his family's minds by now. If they weren't worried did that mean that they'd beaten the wolves, or did it mean that the wolves hadn't noticed their slip?

"The Pack was also trying to track Victoria," Carlisle continued, dashing my hope of a safe story in which nobody I loved got hurt, "when Emmett crossed the line, one of the wolves went for him." Oh, no, this was the worst thing possible. All the Cullens were here, safe, but what about the wolves? "Rosalie stepped in to defend Emmett. The wolves crowded around to defend their pack mate. Jasper managed to calm them down enough for me to apologise. Without Edward we couldn't hear what they were saying, but they stopped attacking us and we remained on our side of the line. Victoria had disappeared in the fuss and we couldn't pick up her scent again. Alice doesn't see her coming back for a while, so it's possible that we scared her away for now. We'll just have to go back to guarding Bella and looking for Victoria."

"I'd be able to see better if it wasn't for the wolves' involvement" Alice complained.

"But, with the wolves around, your gift is useless," Edward said.

Jasper glared at him "remember your manners," he said stiffly.

Edward frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose, "please accept my apologies, Alice, I only meant to share your frustration."

Alice nodded.

"Everyone's annoyed about this," Jasper said, "and everyone's worried about Bella. We'll all have to try and stay calm."

"Of course," Edward said, "I am sorry. Do you think it will be necessary to approach the wolves formally to discuss the breach of the treaty?"

"They want to catch Victoria too," Emmett moaned, "surely they understand that in the thrill of the chase . . ."

"Nobody blames you, babe," Rose said, giving Emmett a kiss on the cheek.

Carlisle shrugged, "they seemed to calm down," he said, "but, Jasper was helping with that. Perhaps we should wait and let them make the first move."

Jasper shook his head, "if they consider the treaty to be void, then we should attack first."

I clutched on to Edward's arm, too afraid to speak out. Edward looked at me and took in my terror. Frowning as though he didn't really believe in what he was saying, he said, "do we want to attack the wolves now? Don't we want everyone available to protect Bella and hunt Victoria? It's better not to open another front."

"They may not consider the treaty to be void," Carlisle agreed, "we don't want to fight unless we have to."

"But, if we have to," Jasper continued "we want to win decisively."

There was silence, as everyone weighed up the options.

Then Emmett offered his opinion, "I would really like a crack at that big grey one," he said, "it looked like it was itching for a fight."

"Maybe," Carlisle said, "but the leader held him back. I don't think that he wants this to develop into a fight with us, not right now."

Jasper nodded, "that's true," he said, "I didn't sense the leader wanting to fight us. He was definitely committed to focusing on Victoria for now. If their discipline is good, then we have nothing to fear."

"There won't be a renegade wolf," I said, "they have to obey the Alpha's commands, Jake told me. When he first became a werewolf, he wanted to tell me, but Sam told him not to and, since it was an Alpha command, Jake couldn't tell me. When he tried he just couldn't speak. If Sam tells them not to attack you, then none of them will be able to."

A strange smile appeared on Jasper's face, he looked wistful for a moment, "literally unable to disobey," he mused, "that's very interesting."

"You can't command a wolf army," Emmett told him, "they want to kill you, not follow you."

Jasper sighed, "true," he said, "for now. Very well, I think that we should go with Carlisle's intuition and wait and see. But, we should all be alert for any moves at all on the part of the Pack."

They all nodded. It was funny to think that Jasper envied Sam the ease of commanding his troops. It didn't seem to me as though the Cullens bickered all that much. But, I suppose in the middle of a battle it must be handy to have everyone thinking with one mind.

Once they'd agreed that they weren't going to launch an attack on the local werewolves, all the Cullens seemed to relax a bit more. Esme and Carlisle excused themselves without really explaining where they were going. Their leaving marked a shift in the Cullen's mood. Once again, the siblings became playful, beginning with the puck-like Alice.

"So," Alice said winking at me, "how was your day, Edward and Bella?"

Rose's head snapped over to look at us, and she looked, for once, just as excited as Alice. Like a real teenager, she leaned forward to help the gossip travel faster from my mouth to her ears. Edward groaned quietly and bent his head down to my shoulder so that his sisters couldn't see his face.

"It was fun," I said, "I like having a bit of private time with Edward," I put a lot of emphasis on the word 'private' and the girls seemed to get the hint.

Rose sighed, realising that I had no intention of sharing the details of what Edward and I had been doing. But Alice, suddenly began to laugh.

Edward glared at Alice and said, "no, come on, that isn't even fair. Bella, let's go," he grabbed me and pulled me off the ground in his hurry to get me out of the lounge. He was nowhere near quick enough. I slow him down so much.

Emmett stood in the doorway and blocked our exit. I saw Edward eyeing up the window, but I think he decided that it was too risky to attempt to scale his house with me in tow.

"What's the rush?" Emmett said, "stay and talk with us for a bit."

Edward growled under his breath, but he took me over to a couch and we sat back down.

"What shall we talk about?" Emmett mused. I noticed that Edward tensed up, Alice started giggling uncontrollably, Rose and Jasper looked as confused as I did.

"What's so funny?" Rose asked, elbowing Emmett in the ribs.

"This," Emmett said, pulling a little yellow disc out of his pocket.

Rose laughed then, and so did Jasper. They looked at me. Edward groaned again.

I thought quickly. He hadn't actually asked me the secret yet. If I could just get Emmett to ask about something else, then I could keep what we'd done today just between us (well, us and Rose and Alice, but that's pretty discrete for the Cullens). "Where did you get that from?" I asked.

"We played a second game after you'd left," Emmett explained.

Typical, stupid, gambling, insomniac vampires.

Suddenly, I had a thought, "Oh, no," I whispered to Edward, knowing perfectly well that everyone could hear, but hoping that they wouldn't realise that I knew, "what if he asks me what your nickname is for me, or what mine is for you? I don't want your family to know that."

"Ssh," Edward said, glaring at me, pretending to be cross. 'Vam-pire hear-ring' he mouthed.

"What?" I said, "what about ear-rings?"

Edward was really struggling not to laugh now, "I said 'vampire hearing'" he told me at a normal volume, with a huge sigh, "I was attempting to discretely warn you that Emmett could hear when you whisper to me. Obviously, I failed on the discrete part."

I blushed bright red.

Everyone laughed.

"No," Emmett said, "it wouldn't be fair to take advantage of you, Bella. Though, I must admit, I am now rather curious. What is your nickname for Eddie?"

"A secret," I told him, wondering what on earth I was going to say if he did ask me. Edward looked as though he was wondering exactly the same thing.

"Yes, Bella, but I have the secret chip," Emmett said proudly.

"It only buys you one secret," I reminded him. "If you want to know, you'll have to hand it over."

Emmett smirked at Edward, who rolled his eyes. Then Emmett handed me the chip. "Spill," he said.

Everyone turned to look at me, especially Edward, who was now eager to discover his new nickname. "Um . . ." anything's better than telling them what we did today, I reminded myself. "Um . . . my nickname for Edward, um . . . it's very embarrassing . . . it's . . . um . . ."

"Um?" Emmett teased me, "that is an embarrassing nickname. Is he really that boring?"

"Maybe that's not how you say it," Rose broke in, "maybe it's meant to be pronounced more like 'Mmmmm'." Rosalie managed to make it sound incredibly sexy, as though she was licking rich chocolate ice-cream from a long-handled spoon on a sinfully hot day. She leant over to Emmett and licked her lips. Then she gave him a slow, sensuous kiss, "mmmmm" she said again.

"Is that it?" Emmett asked me, when he'd shaken his head and brought himself back into the present.

I looked at Edward, who was wide-eyed and panicked, he shook his head quickly, that was _definitely_ not his new nickname. Shame, it kind of suited him. "No," I told Emmett, "I'm just nervous. Edward's nickname is . . ." think of a name, think of a name, think of a name that isn't Edward, "Jake." It was the first word that came into my head. It was very, very much the wrong choice.

Edward looked livid.

Emmett looked delighted.

Jasper, Alice and Rosalie just collapsed in laughter.

"Don't be mad, Eddie," Emmett said, "Bella had to tell us, it's how the game goes. So, Jake, you've got to tell us your nickname for Bella now. It's the only way to even things up."

I thought that he was going to refuse. Surely he could say that his nickname for me was a secret, just as I'd said my nickname for him was. But, Edward was furious with me. Of all the possible things that I could have called him, why on earth had I chosen 'Jake'? The truth was that I'd panicked and I did think about Edward and Jake a lot, so I guess it made sense that the two names were connected in my mind. But, oh, Edward was never going to forgive me for this.

His siblings were still laughing, Alice just couldn't stop. I hoped that she wasn't seeing more fun and games involving Edward's new nickname. I wished the ground would swallow me up. Emmett was laughing too now. The only people who weren't laughing were me and Edward. I was pretty scared and Edward, oh dear, Edward was smirking at me.

"Lunch," he said, with an evil grin.

"No," Rosalie told him, "it's four in the afternoon. Surely Bella had lunch hours ago."

"You can't distract us that easily," Emmett said, "you have to answer."

"I did answer," Edward replied, "I like to call Bella 'Lunch', because one of these days, that's what she's going to be." He grinned at me wickedly.

His family started laughing again. They thought that was hilarious. I got up off the sofa and backed away. Had Edward really just said that he was going to eat me? He didn't joke about being a vampire.

"You're going to eat me?" I asked him, still walking backwards, putting a chair between me and Edward.

He grinned and shook his head, "of course not, silly Bella, I'm going to _drink _you." He leapt up over the chair and pounced on me.

I screamed.

Edward laughed; he was holding me in his arms and kissing my neck.

The rest of his family were roaring with laughter.

"Since it is four o'clock, Jake," Alice said, "I think that you'd better change her nickname to tea-time. If you drink Bella now, you'll be having her for tea not lunch."

I growled at him, "pouncing on people and pretending to drink their blood isn't funny," I said.

He sighed, "it's no good, Bella, I don't laugh at your jokes and you don't laugh at mine. Perhaps were comedically incompatible."

He carried me back to the couch and we snuggled back together. Then he hissed. I looked around trying to work out what was happening.

Alice held her hands out in surrender, "I didn't do it," she said, "you can't blame me for seeing things."

"Edward," Jasper warned.

He ignored his big brother and continued to glare at Alice.

"Don't shoot the messenger," she said.

"What did you see, anyway," Jasper asked, "Victoria?"

Alice shook her head, "nothing like that" she said, "just this" she nodded at Emmett who was holding yet another yellow disc in his hand.

Jasper glared at Edward "you need to learn better emotional control," he said.

Edward sighed, "probably," he acknowledged.

"I don't get it," I said, "what's Jasper annoyed about?"

Emmett stared at me, "you didn't hear what Jake just said to Alice?" he asked.

I shook my head.

Emmett thought about this for a bit, "so, do you only hear about half of the conversation all the time?" he asked, "Eddie, I think that your human is faulty."

"Her hearing is within the normal human range," Edward said stiffly, "but she can't hear when we talk too fast or too high. She misses everything above 18,000hertz."

"Shouldn't she be able to hear up to 20,000hertz?" Rose asked.

Edward shrugged, "as I said, it's within the normal human range."

"Are you saying that there's something wrong with my hearing?" I asked him, "that, even for a human, I have a rubbish range?"

There was a pause, then Emmett said, "Jake, Bella wouldn't have been able to hear that."

I glared at him, "stop it," I said, "no deliberately talking too high for me to hear, nor too low, nor too quietly, nor too fast. Just talk so that I can hear you, is that too much to ask?"

I must have sounded pretty cross because Edward hung his head and said, "no, Bella. I'm sorry."

"So," I said, "catch me up. What did you say to Alice and what did you just say to Emmett?"

Edward sighed, "I said to Alice 'you've got to be kidding, do you plan new ways to irritate me, or does it come naturally?'"

"That wasn't very nice," I told him.

"Yes, I know, that's why Jasper told me off and made me apologise. Though I would have apologised anyway. I know better than to be rude to a lady."

"And what did you say to Emmett?"

"I just asked everyone to stop going on about your hearing, because I didn't want you to get self-conscious" he said.

"Oh, well, at least that wasn't mean."

Edward narrowed his eyes, but his siblings all laughed.

"Ah," I said, realising what they thought, "I don't think that you're usually mean. It's just that often when you've tried to stop me hearing something it's because it wasn't very nice."

"I will endeavour to improve my manners," Edward said formally.

Emmett sniggered, "shall we get back to the secrets, before Jake gets himself into any more trouble with his dinner?"

"I think that those were meant to be private nicknames," Rose said reprovingly, "I don't think that they wanted you to use them, Emmett."

"Ah," he said, "but if I use their secret nicknames, then Jake and Lunch will have to come up with new secret nicknames for one another and we can have more fun one day finding out what those new nicknames are. I'm thinking ahead, babe."

"Well," Rose said, "think about this: if you keep calling Edward and Bella stupid names, I will tell everyone what you begged me to call you the other night."

Emmett spluttered, "alright, Rose, I was only messing about. On to the secrets. Before we got distracted – and I'm not saying that it wasn't a good distraction, because it really, really was – I was going to ask you a different secret, Bella. Luckily, I still have another chip, so I can ask you a second secret and we won't lose out. Bella, what did you and Edward do today?"

Think fast, Bella! Think of something a lot better than calling your boyfriend by the name of his mortal enemy.

I grabbed the chip out of Emmett's hand and put it safely away in my pocket. "I taught Edward to cook" I said, "it turns out that he's a very good pupil."

Emmett scowled, "that was rubbish," he said, "I thought from Eddie's face that it had been something really raunchy. I can't believe that you just cooked together. Wow, you are the worst couple ever, do you even know what sex is?"

"Emmett!" Alice, Rose, Jasper and Edward all shouted at once.

But I grinned, I was feeling on top of this conversation, "no more chips, Emmett," I told him, "that means no more answers. And, since it is nearly half past four, I'm going to take Edward into the kitchen and show him how to make me dinner."

Edward held my hand as we went into the kitchen. "The new Bella holds her own against Emmett," he said, "I'm impressed. So, what am I cooking?" he asked.

I giggled at his enthusiasm, "we're cooking a stir-fry with cous-cous," I told him, "it's a vampire-style meal. Lots of fine chopping and then very quick cooking. Apart from the boiling-hot oil, which will probably make you demand that I put on a haz-mat suit, I think that you'll like this recipe."

He was an amazingly fast and accurate chopper. Watching him made me wince because I knew that if I had tried to cut at even half his speed I would have been stir-frying my own finger-tips. He was very happy at my impressed expression. I think that he would have liked to chop a lot more than I wanted him to. He only stopped when I told him that, if he insisted on preparing more food than I could eat, I would insist that he ate it so that it didn't go to waste. I have never seen anyone that averse to eating vegetables. He really is a terrible vegetarian.

He adored cooking the cous-cous He had felt that eggs and pasta cooked unpardonably slowly and was irritated by my insistence that more heat would ruin the food rather than cooking it faster. I think that he would have been happy to throw some meat onto a fire and then ask me to eat the burnt crisps. Cous-cous cooked at a speed that he was much more comfortable with. He approved of me eating this sort of food.

Cooking the stir-fry was, as I had predicted, a little bit more stressful. We had to light the gas hob again and Edward was still very unhappy about seeing me too near a lit hob. I tried to convince him that: a) ovens are perfectly safe, b) I've been using a gas hob since I was 8 and I know what I'm doing and c) he is just as vulnerable to fire as I am. But, he still wanted to stand between me and the hob.

When I told him how to heat the oil and then toss the vegetables, he was appalled. He didn't mind doing it, of course, but he didn't think that it was the sort of thing that I ought to do, ever. He brought the pan over for me to taste and then he announced that he would remember the exact scent and he would make me stir-fry whenever I wanted so I never needed to 'risk my life' cooking it again.

He was still arguing that cookery was too dangerous, when I was finally sat down and eating. Rosalie called out from the lounge, "overprotective much, Edward? How would you like it if Bella announced that it was too dangerous for you to hunt lions and she didn't want you going after anything more dangerous that a small doe?"

Edward looked at me curiously, "does the danger make your food taste better?"

I laughed at him, "it's not dangerous," I said, "but, yes, stir-fry is tasty."

"Oh," he looked down at the table and thought this new angle through, "have you ever been injured by stir-frying?"

Relieved, I shook my head. Thank goodness he hadn't asked me if I'd ever been injured by an oven. If I told him the number of burns I'd acquired, he would probably insist that I switched to a raw food diet. "Has your food ever bitten back; have you ever been attacked by a mountain lion?" I asked.

Edward narrowed his eyes, "does that matter?" he said, "I thought that we were talking about cooking."

"We are," I said, "your way of cooking as well as mine. Have you?"

"When I was younger," he said, "and I wasn't such an experienced fighter, some of the bigger predators occasionally bit me or scratched me. But, my skin is tough. They've destroyed my clothes and I once lost a finger, but clothes don't count and my fingers reattach."

"Which one?" I asked, looking at his perfect hands.

He grinned at me and held out his right hand. He indicated his third finger. I picked up his hand and kissed it. I covered his finger in kisses, examining it minutely. It was cool and smooth and perfect from the wrist to the end of his nails. "Are you sure it was this one?" I asked, "there's no sign of any injury at all."

Edward chuckled lightly, "the only thing that scars is a bite from another vampire," he said, "if I lose a finger or even a limb, it will reattach and look as good as new relatively quickly."

"The wolves heal fast too," I said, "um . . . does it still hurt?"

Edward nodded, "yeah, it definitely hurts," he said, "why, were you hoping for a demonstration?"

Instantly Emmett was in the doorway; sometimes the Cullens moved around so quickly it was like living in a movie with no continuity editor. "Cool," he said, "are we going to make an Edward jigsaw?"

"No!" Esme called, from somewhere in the house, "we are not."

"Yuk!" I said, "you know that I'm squeamish. I can't think of anything more horrible that seeing you pulling off your fingers. Please can we not talk about it while I'm eating?"

Emmett seemed even more amused by that, "do you get more squeamish when you eat, Bella?" he asked, "that is going to be a serious problem when you start your new diet."

"It's a human thing," Edward said, "all humans get nauseous around blood and injuries. If you talk about removing limbs or open-heart surgery while they're eating, it makes them feel ill. Sometimes it makes them actually vomit," he sounded perfectly happy to be educating Emmett on the strange eating habits of humans.

I groaned and reminded him, "there's a human eating right here, Edward, and I can hear you."

He sighed, "sorry, Bella. I'm still getting accustomed to always speaking at a Bella-audible volume. I'll have to think more carefully about when I say things. Why are you still here, Emmett?"

"Well, I was hoping that you would make Bella throw up, but now that you've stopped trying to do that, I'm hoping that she'll finish eating soon, so that I can rip your legs off."

"Alright," I pushed my plate away, "now I'm thinking of something more horrible that Edward tearing his fingers off. I can't eat any more."

"May I wash-up?" Edward asked eagerly.

I sighed, "of course you may. But, you must keep all your appendages attached, alright?"

"Of course, Bella."

He cheerfully got on with his new favourite chore, pausing a couple of times to step out of Emmett's way. Emmett had decided that his new aim for the evening was to give me a demonstration of the vampire-healing trick.

When Edward successfully side-stepped Emmett's third attack, Emmett tried a new tactic. "Jasper!" he shouted, loudly enough to wake the dead, "will you help me attack Edward, or will you let me tear off one of your arms?"

"No," Jasper replied, appearing in the doorway, "I won't. I'll take Bella home, though. Esme and Alice are going to take the first guard shift, so I'll be back in about fifteen minutes. Then I'll rip off one of your arms, if you're still eager to play."

Emmett growled playfully at his brother, "you know that would defeat the object, Jazz. The whole point is to show Bella what we can do. I'll show you tomorrow, Bella" he promised, lumbering off to the garage to find Rose.

"Say goodbye, Edward," Jasper said cheerfully.

"Goodbye, Edward," I said.

"Goodbye, Bella," he answered, "when will I see you tomorrow?"

"I'm seeing Jake in the morning," I said.

I instantly regretted it, from all over the house, I heard Edward's siblings chorus, "which one?"

"Oh, yeah," I muttered, "sorry, Jake-Edward." He glared at me, "um . . . I'm seeing Jake-Jake tomorrow, so I'll call you later, if that's ok."

"Sure, sure," Edward said, and I wondered if he was copying Jake's phrasing deliberately, because of the whole nickname fiasco, or if he had just picked it up from me, in the same way that I'd picked it up from Jake-Jake. Either way, it was sweet when Edward said it. I stood up on my tip-toes to give him a kiss and he lifted me up to make it easier.

"Come on, Bella," Jasper said, "let's get Sally-Ann moving."

I giggled at him, waved one last goodbye to Edward and followed Jasper out the door.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I didn't write the 'Twilight' series, or 'Silence of the Lambs' (which is a great movie, and not a bad book. But is only recommended for over twenty-ones). I did write this little story, but just for fun.

Charlie noticed that Jasper had driven me home again, and, after we watched Mustang Sally pull away he queried my spending so much time with an older boy.

If he only knew how much older Jasper was, he would never imagine that I would even consider it. But, then he would know how much older Edward was, and that would bring up a whole new shed-load of problems.

"Dad," I said, "I'm not spending all that much time with Jasper. I was spending time with Edward, who is my boyfriend. It's just that Edward is without a car at the moment, so Jasper dropped me home."

Charlie sighed. He really wished that Edward wasn't my boyfriend.

I felt a bit sorry for him, "have you had dinner?" I asked, "I could whip a snack up for you, if you'd like?"

He grinned at me, "trying to change the subject, Bells? Maybe I should tell Jacob about his new competition."

"Huh," I snorted at him, "Jacob is a _friend_" I reminded my father, yet again, "Edward is my boyfriend. Jasper is Edward's brother. You should try and remember all those roles, because they're going to be occupying them for a while. Now, do you want me to make you mushrooms on toast or not?"

Charlie laughed at my anger. He still thought that Jacob was in with a shot. He seemed to think that I was just another school-girl with a boyfriend, not one of those favoured few who had been lucky enough to meet the love of her life at the age of seventeen. "I do, thanks Bells."

He sat down at the kitchen table and watched me while I cooked. He must have been feeling a bit guilty about my running around waiting on him, because he offered to take a look at my truck for me. I accepted his offer, though I didn't think that he'd be able to find anything. The intermittent problems with my truck were far too convenient for Edward for me to believe that they were mechanical. Still, it was nice of Charlie to offer and I didn't want to rebuff him, so I said yes. He ate his snack, and we agreed that he'd take a look at my truck in the morning. That sounded pretty perfect. I was planning on seeing Jake, so I was expecting the trouble to start again.

I was right. When I tried to start my truck in the morning, I had no luck. After I'd scolded Edward for stealing my gas, he had decided that he'd better not repeat the same trick. So, at least this time it didn't look as though I was an idiot who'd forgotten to get gas. I tried to start the engine and nothing happened. Charlie popped the hood and began merrily fiddling around.

What I know about trucks could easily be written on the back of a postage stamp, so I restricted my 'help' to fetching lemonade and thanking my Dad every ten minutes or so. He was more successful at making a mess of his shirt than he was at fixing the truck, so it was still in pieces on the drive, when Jacob showed up.

He pulled up his Rabbit and hopped over to Charlie's side enthusiastically. "What are you trying to do, Charlie?" he teased, "you're not the man to be under the hood of anyone's truck."

Charlie glared at him, after an hour or so of unsuccessful fiddling, he wasn't at all happy to have his mechanical skills slighted. "I thought you'd tuned the thing up before you gave it to me," he said angrily, "if you'd done a decent job, there wouldn't be a mysterious fault for me to fail to find."

Jacob chuckled; he was such an easy going guy. I had forgotten that recently. The Cullens seemed to transform Jacob completely. Rather than being offended or arguing, he put up his hands in relaxed surrender, "sorry, Charlie. Since it is my fault, d'you mind if I have a look?" he asked.

"Fine, there's a game on in a few minutes, anyway," Charlie said, "I'll just wash up and then I'll settle down and watch it. You two are welcome to join me, if you want."

"Nah, I came to hang out with Bells, and she'd be bored stiff," Jake said, with a wink at me. "I'll see what I can do with the truck. Now that you've softened it up for me." Charlie snorted at Jacob's last remark, but he seemed happy enough to go back into the house.

"Why did you let him take your truck apart, Bells?" Jake asked me, "there can't have been anything really wrong with it."

I had to tell him about Edward's earlier tampering, and my suspicions when the truck had failed to start this morning. I worried that Jacob would be furious with Edward, but he seemed to think that it was quite funny.

"He really wants to keep you away from me," Jake said triumphantly, "he must be jealous."

"He has no reason to be jealous" I groused.

Jacob chuckled again, turning pieces of metal over in his hands and replacing them carefully in the truck's bonnet. "Did you tell him that we kissed?" Jacob called out, from under the bonnet.

I didn't answer and he laughed so hard that he hit his head. Served him right.

Jacob emerged with a big smile, rubbing the back of his head, "why not?"

"Does your head hurt?"

He nodded.

"Poetic justice," I told him, "you laughed at me and you got hit on the head."

Jacob laughed again, "next time, I'll be careful to laugh at you when I'm out of your truck's reach. You obviously inspire a great deal of protectiveness in non-living things. But, you didn't answer my question. Are you scared of him, Bells, is that why you didn't tell him? Because you don't need to be scared. I can protect you."

"I'm not scared of Edward Cullen," I said, well, I may have shouted, I was getting a bit exasperated, "for the last time, I am not scared of Edward Cullen. Why won't anyone believe me?"

Jake returned to fiddling with the truck. "Who else thinks that your scared of him?"

"Apart from you? Charlie, and Edward himself, I'm not sure that Jasper doesn't think something similar."

Jacob growled a bit, "perhaps we're all right," he said, "perhaps you're the one who doesn't see it. You certainly ought to be scared of him."

"That's what he says. But I'm not. I know that he loves me, and I trust him not to hurt me."

"He hurt you before" Jacob reminded me.

"That was different, he was trying to keep me safe."

Jacob snorted and slammed the bonnet shut angrily, "I don't buy that," he said, "and I don't think that you should either. I hate to see you being taken in by him like this." He strode around to the driver's compartment and opened the door. He leant in and turned the engine over. Then he grinned proudly at me, "good as, well I won't say 'new', but good as it was when you got it anyway."

"Thanks, Jake," I said, "not only for fixing the truck, but also for caring about me. I think that you're wrong about Edward, but it's nice that you care."

He tried to explain what Edward had done to the truck this time. To be perfectly honest, I didn't understand a word of it. Jake, however, was mildly impressed. Edward had made sure that the truck wouldn't start when I tried to start it but, apart from that, he hadn't hurt anything at all. I wouldn't have been able to 'jump' the car (even if Charlie and I had been capable of trying that in the first place, which I somewhat doubted), but I'm not sure how Edward had prevented that working. Jacob thought it was quite a neat trick, anyway, so it must have been. I don't think that Jake would have offered praise to Edward if he didn't deserve it.

Once the truck was working again, Jacob and I went back into the house for lunch. He stopped talking about cars now, having noticed my glazed expression.

"So, when are we going to finally get to see that movie?" he asked me, following me back into the house.

"I dunno," I said, "I mean, there's quite a lot going on at the moment," I looked to see if Jake was disappointed, but that isn't what I saw in his face. He looked furious. "What?" I asked, "I didn't say 'no' I only said that I didn't know, calm down, Jake."

He hushed me by holding up his hand, before I complained at this, Jake whispered, "is anyone you know upstairs in your room right now?"

I shook my head, what was he talking about? Had Edward snuck out? Had he maimed my truck and then hidden to watch the drama unfold?

"Wait here," Jake said, and he dashed upstairs.

I stood in the hall, like an idiot. What on earth was going on? Was Charlie upstairs? No, I could hear him moving around in the lounge. Who had Jake heard? Was Edward up there? If he was, then I probably shouldn't have let Jake go upstairs alone. I wondered if I was about to hear an almighty fight. Should I go upstairs after Jake?

Before I had absolutely decided to follow him up the stairs, Jake came back down. "I really hate to have to say this," he said, "but I need to talk to one of your . . . um . . . to Alice or one of her family."

"Why?"

He grimaced, "it's possibly nothing," he said, "but I think that I smelt a new vampire in your room."

Wordlessly, I held out my phone. I didn't trust myself to speak. I was pretty sure that, the instant I opened my mouth, I would start screaming and I wouldn't be able to stop.

Jake was holding the phone to his ear, "Alice?" I heard him say, "it's Jacob Black . . . She's fine. She's right here . . . Not right now. Listen, I've got something to ask you – sort of a favour . . . I smelt something in Bella's room – another vamp . . . I haven't tried to follow it yet; I'm not leaving Bells alone right now . . . I'm pretty sure . . . Well, it's not like I've spent a lot of time with you lot. I want you to come round and see if you recognised it . . ."

I hadn't heard a word that Alice had said so far, but there was a sudden growl, so loud that even I heard it. Jake winced and held the phone away from his ear. He listened to the yelling voices until they calmed down. Then he spoke again, still keeping the phone outstretched.

"Don't you dare bring him!" Jake snarled, "I'm not leaving her side, and I _will _kill him . . . Next time he sees her, he'd better be wearing a muzzle . . . It wasn't a 'dog joke'. I was thinking about 'Silence of the Lambs' . . . Alright, yes, he can come. Alright."

I was fairly certain that 'him' was Edward, but I wasn't sure who the second 'he' was. It didn't sound as though Jake was backing down on his earlier statement, more as though he had accepted a second proposition from Alice. I guess I would see who was coming soon enough.

Jake hung up the phone.

"Are you alright?" he asked me.

I tried to nod, but I couldn't seem to move my head. Who had been in my room? If it wasn't one of the Cullens . . . what did that mean?

Jake sighed. He put his arm around my shoulders and whispered in my ear, "I'm sorry, Bells, but Charlie will probably get suspicious if we just stand in the hall like this. We really ought to go into the kitchen and start lunch."

Gently, he steered me into the kitchen. He sat me down on a chair and got on with putting together a huge pile of chicken salad sandwiches. For a second I was impressed that he knew his way around a kitchen, then I remembered that he'd been taking care of Billy for years. Of course Jake knew his way around a kitchen.

"Hey, Charlie," he called out cheerfully, "Alice and her brother want to come round and join us for lunch. Is that cool with you?"

"Which brother?" Charlie replied.

Jake chuckled, "one of the older ones," he said, "I didn't think that the youngest one was allowed under your roof."

Charlie grunted, "alright then," he said, "that's fine. But, I thought that you and Bells wanted to spend a bit of time just hanging out together" Charlie wasn't keen on any Cullens getting between me and Jake.

"They won't stay long," Jake said, "they've got places to be. They'll just stop by, eat with us, and get on their way."

Charlie grunted his assent. I gave Jake a funny look. If the Cullens weren't going to stop for long, why did he tell Charlie at all? Didn't he know that they could easily sneak in and out of the house without Charlie seeing them?

I got my answer when Jasper and Alice arrived. They slipped into the kitchen, silently, making the same assumption as I had: that they were going to avoid Charlie's notice. But Jake confounded them by greeting them warmly and – very – loudly. "Alice!" he said, "Alice's brother." Jasper glared at him. I don't think that he appreciated being referred to as his wife's brother, but he might just have been confused at Jake's voluble greeting.

Charlie came in and greeted them both much more formally.

"I can't believe you walked all the way here," Jake said cheerfully, "no wonder you needed to stop and take a break. This is some fitness freak you're on."

"You walked from your place?" Charlie asked, staring at the two-inch heels on Alice's dainty feet.

"Yeah," Alice said, "I foolishly agreed to accompany Jasper on a 'stroll'. I didn't realise that he meant to drag me so far. I'm really regretting putting these shoes on now. Hey, can I borrow a pair of trainers for the walk back, Bella?"

"Of course," I said, grinning at the thought of Alice in a pair of my old trainers.

I set off to go upstairs and Alice followed me slowly. Just before we left the kitchen, she slipped and let Charlie catch her.

"My feet," she explained, after thanking him, "they really hurt. Since this is entirely your fault, Jasper, you can come and help me up the stairs."

Jasper rolled his eyes, "it's not entirely my fault," he countered, "I told you not to wear those shoes and I told you how far we were walking. It's not my fault that you have no concept of distance or direction."

Charlie chuckled and Alice stuck his tongue out at her 'brother'.

Jasper had obviously had enough of playing about, because he smiled warmly at Alice and gave her his arm. "Do you need me to carry you, darlin'?" he asked, I hoped that Charlie didn't catch the hopefulness in his voice.

Alice gave him a feeble shove and said, "don't tease." Then she leant on his arm as we all trooped up the stairs.

"What's Jacob playing at?" Alice asked me softly, once we were on the landing.

I shrugged.

When we got to my room, Alice and Jasper began talking to each other in voices that I couldn't hear. When Jasper jumped out of the window, Alice reminded me that she needed to borrow my trainers. She looked a bit like a martyr as she put them on, muttering that this was what happened when she wasn't allowed full control of my wardrobe. It had never before occurred to me that Alice might want me to have a better selection of clothes so that she could have the fun of borrowing them, and it did give me pause for thought. Alice was always interested in opportunities to be like a 'normal' teenager. She probably would have enjoyed swapping clothes with me. Maybe refusing gifts from the Cullens was a bit selfish on my part. I had no right to make their lives any more complicated or difficult than they already were.

Jasper climbed quickly back in the window and nodded once at Alice. She sighed and said, "Bella, I'm sorry, it wasn't a vampire that we know and there doesn't seem to be a clear trail. We'll have to get the rest of the family to come and help, but I don't know what's going on. We'd better walk downstairs and say 'goodbye' to Charlie."

That might have worked, if Jacob hadn't started talking about diets and how unhealthy it was not to eat. I think that he had been preparing Charlie while we were upstairs because Charlie seemed prepared for Alice and Jasper to refuse his lunch invitation, and he seemed determined to make them stay.

"Look at all this food," Charlie said, "there's no way that the three of us can eat it. You'll have to stay and help. It would be rude not to."

That was like a magic spell. None of the Cullens could stand to be thought of as rude, so Jasper and Alice obediently sat down and joined us for lunch. In a cafeteria full of people, they could easily get away with pretending to eat, but when there were only five people at the table, it would be obvious if two of them didn't consume anything. So Alice and Jasper had to eat.

I caught Jacob's eye once and had to look away, he obviously thought that making vampires sit down and eat with us was absolutely hilarious.

Jasper glowered at Jacob all the way through the meal, I would have to explain that to Charlie later. It was a slightly awkward meal. Jasper glowering, Jacob stifling his laughter, Alice still sulking about her trainers and everyone (with the exception of Charlie) desperate to get on with the more important business of tracking the rogue vampire. Nobody talked very much and everyone was thrilled when Charlie stood up and said "I'm going to have to leave you kids to clear up, I ought to check into work this afternoon."

As soon as the front door shut behind Charlie, I said "Jacob, that wasn't very funny."

He grinned, "why didn't you bring a car?" he asked Jasper.

"It's quicker to run, and we weren't planning on stopping to chat."

Jacob shrugged, "if you insist on hanging around with humans, you ought to sit down to a meal once in a while. Maybe I'll come hunting with you one of these days." He laughed at his own stupid remark. Probably trying to imagine himself hunting alongside a family of vampires.

"Who's on the tracking contingent and who's going to watch over Bella?" Jasper asked his wife.

"Bella's here," Jake said in a reproving voice, before Alice could answer. "She doesn't need any of your lot to guard her, because we already made plans to go to La Push today, didn't we, Bells?"

I nodded.

Jasper thought this over, "there's no denying that an entire pack of wolves ought to be enough to protect even Bella for a few hours. I'll meet you at the border and take her back, when she's ready."

"I can bring Bella home," Jake said.

Jasper looked at me, "I thought that you intended to come and visit with us this afternoon" he said hesitantly.

I nodded again.

"So, Alice and I will meet you at the border," he said.

Alice shook her head, "no," she told us, "I'll meet Bella, and I'll take Emmett with me, but you'll be busy, Jazz."

We all looked nervous, but Alice shook her head again, "not Victoria," she answered our questions before we asked them, "just family stuff."

Jake and I exchanged a puzzled look, when Jasper sighed heavily and said "if you say so, Alice."

"Do you really want us to help clear up?" Alice asked.

I giggled at her disgusted expression. I think that she wanted to get away from the scent of human food as soon as possible. "We'll be fine," I told her, grabbing Jake's hand.

"Hey," he said, "I made lunch. That means that you get to clear up, Bells. Um . . . I wanted to step outside anyway. I want to let the Pack know what's going on."

So, Alice and Jasper ran off home, Alice probably still moaning about my trainers. Jake slipped into the garden to phase, and I did the washing-up all by myself. Huh, the sooner Edward was allowed out the better. He liked to help me with chores. In fact, he had _begged _to be 'allowed' to wash-up.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to any of the 'Twilight' series.

After a morning with Jake, Alice and Emmett collected me at the border and took me back to the Cullen's house.

When we arrived, Edward ran out to open my truck door and carried me into the house. I think that he couldn't wait long enough for me to walk myself inside. Sometimes my human speed must drive him crazy.

His arms were tight around me. I could feel his muscles tensed up and ready for a fight. I probably should have cancelled the trip to La Push and come straight over to see Edward. He was obviously upset about my strange visitor.

"Are you going to just hold on to me forever?" I asked him, snuggling my head into his shoulder to show that I wasn't entirely adverse to the idea.

He relaxed his hold minutely, as if he'd only just noticed how protective he was being, "is that an option?"

I pretended to think it over. "It would draw attention to us at school" I said.

"Not a lot more attention than is focused on us currently. A guarantee of your safety is worth a little bit of attention."

"Until that little bit of attention brings the Volturi to visit and ask why I'm still breathing. Alice said that nobody found a new vampire for miles. I'm safe now. You can relax."

But, I'm not sure that was true. In a way, it was harder for Edward to relax when nothing had actually happened. It would have been easier if he'd had some new enemy to chase and fight. As it was, all his tension and anger was still there, he was like a cheetah in the zoo. They get all the food they need, and they're perfectly healthy, but without being able to hunt in the way they were created to hunt, a part of them dies inside. Edward was worried about me and angry that anyone would threaten me; he needed to hunt someone down and he needed to fight for me. But, Victoria kept giving everyone the slip and this new vampire, who had come so close that they'd actually been in my room, they hadn't even been seen by any of the Cullens. Edward had all the resources to fight for me, and the willpower, and the boiling fury inside, but he had no enemy.

Instead, he continued to hold me, tightening his grip when Emmett grinned at us.

"No," Edward said, answering some question before Emmett asked it.

"Bella," Emmett asked, turning to me and pretending that his brother hadn't spoken, "would you like to see my demonstration now?"

Edward ducked and Emmett's punch missed him and hit the doorframe, leaving a huge hole.

"Boys," Esme called down the stairs, "please go and play outside."

Edward groaned, "I don't want to play," he said, "I want to talk to Bella."

He jumped about a metre into the air (which made me feel a bit sick, to be honest) and let Emmett's side-swiping kick swing under his legs and hit a corner table.

"Edward and Emmett, outside now!" Esme shouted down this time, "I liked that table."

Edward groaned, but, still carrying me in his arms, he ran out the backdoor. Emmett followed us, laughing delightedly.

"That wasn't fair," Edward complained, "you knew that you would miss me and break stuff and you knew that Esme would make us both come outside."

Emmett shrugged, "ready, little brother?" he asked, springing at Edward.

Edward growled, he was still holding me. He darted out of Emmett's way. Reluctantly, Edward put me down on the patio. "I don't think that I have a choice" he said.

He ran off a little further away into the lawn, so that the fighting wouldn't come so close to me any more. Emmett was delighted with the success of his strategy.

The boys began circling one another. Despite his protestations, Edward slid quickly into vampire-mode. Emmett was giving him the fight that he so clearly needed.

"Alright," Emmett said, "let's clarify the rules: there will be no fire involved at all. The aim is to remove a limb so that Bella can see how they reattach."

"Fine," Edward said irritably, "but no fighting too near Bella. She doesn't go back together again."

"I'll keep my hands off Bella, so long as you keep your hands off Rose," Emmett warned, with a low growl.

Edward, being Edward, was immediately overcome by guilt. He stopped circling and said "seriously, Emmett, I'm really sorry about that."

Emmett, however, jumped straight onto Edward's back, crowing with delight, and grabbed hold of Edward's left arm.

I gasped, but Edward threw himself onto his back, smashing Emmett into the ground. The unexpected move forced Emmett to let go of Edward's arm and Edward sprang away again.

"That won't work again," Edward said.

Emmett grinned at him, he ran at Edward, with his head down like a charging bull, but Edward neatly stepped out of the way. While Emmett was straightening up for a second run, Edward kicked him hard in the chest and knocked him over. He pounced on Emmett, getting a good grip of Emmett's right arm. Emmett pulled tucked his right arm towards him, pulling Edward closer, and punched Edward in the face.

Edward shook his head, slightly dazed, but he didn't let go of his brother's arm. He braced his legs against the floor and pulled. I screamed at the image of Emmett's arm being wrenched off, but my premptive scream distracted Edward. He glanced over to check that I was alright and Emmett used the opportunity to headbutt him in the stomach.

Since Edward still clung to his arm, when he toppled over, he pulled Emmett over on top of him. Emmett leaned over and put his teeth to Edward's neck. I screamed again.

Edward growled, a new vicious growl that I hadn't heard before, he let go of Emmett's arm and rolled out from under him. Then, still growling, he sprang at his brother. They began moving much faster now, too fast for me to see what they were doing. I think that the 'demonstration' had stopped, they had moved into a real fight.

I heard growling and occasional hisses, perhaps when one of them had momentarily gained the upper hand. They leapt apart and sprang back on one another repeatedly. I saw them rolling over and over and jumping on top of one another. I couldn't really make out who was who anymore, there was just a constant blur of vampire movement.

Eventually, Rosalie stuck her head out the back door to see what was going on. She scowled at the struggling vampires and asked me "do you want me to end it?"

I nodded eagerly.

"Do you care who wins?" Rose asked.

Emmett was her husband and Edward was my boyfriend. I could hardly ask Rose to let Edward win. I shook my head.

Rose grinned at me. Then she shouted, in a perfect imitation of my voice: "Edward, help!"

A clear picture of Edward appeared in the blur, he'd frozen in place for just a couple of seconds, before looked at Rosalie and realised what had happened. But, those seconds were long enough for Emmett to chuckle delightedly and tear off Edward's right arm, that he had tightly gripped in his hands. One moment, Emmett was a blurry image next to Edward's frozen form, the next moment, Emmett was back in focus grinning and holding Edward's right arm.

Edward yowled in pain, then he grabbed the nearest part of Emmett and wrenched off his left leg at the knee. Emmett hollered.

There was no blood, of course, and that made the scene look slightly unreal, like a badly made horror movie. On the other hand, their yells sounded like very real pain. I wondered if they were going to go into shock. Was this a traumatic incident?

Rosalie didn't seem to think so, she glared at them both, "idiots," she said, "are you happy now?"

"What did you do that for?" Emmett asked his brother irritably, "the game was over when I took off your arm."

"It hurt," Edward said, "and it wasn't fair. Rose distracted me."

Emmett shrugged, "you're just jealous because Bella doesn't love you enough to help you win. Here, Bella," he seemed to realise that he still held Edward's arm. He tossed it towards me. It would have hit my chest, but I leapt back, screaming.

Rose put her arms around me comfortingly, and whispered in my ear "it's alright, Bella, they'll both be fine."

Emmett laughed, "that's funny," he said, "Bella doesn't like your arm."

Edward glared in response "she doesn't like it when it's not attached to the rest of me" he clarified. Then, with a grin, he slung Emmett's leg as far as he could into the wood. Emmett scowled at him, "that's going to ruin the demonstration," he said, "go and get it."

"It's your leg" Edward said, walking over to me.

"Yeah, and I'm the one who's limping," Emmett replied, "fetch, Jake."

Edward growled at him. Then he seemed to remember me and he looked up nervously, "I'm sorry, Bella, was that very awful?"

"Of course it was awful" Rose said scornfully, "Bella's a human. You've probably given her nightmares for months. Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with the pair of you. Go and get Emmett's leg back."

Edward sighed, but he dashed off into the woods.

Emmett limped over and sat down next to me.

"Well, Bella," he said, "since all this is for your benefit, surely you have a few questions to ask."

Maybe Emmett's mind was ripped off at the same time as his leg. He couldn't really think that I'd wanted him to remove Edward's arm. Emmett picked Edward's arm up off the floor and grinned. He pulled a bottle of nailpolish from his pocket and began to paint Edward's nails bright red. Edward's fingers wriggled about, but it was easy for Emmett to catch them.

"Did it hurt?" I asked.

Emmett grinned at me, "of course it hurt," he said, "Edward tore my leg in half."

"Does it still hurt now?"

He nodded with a bright grin.

"Can you feel your missing leg?"

"No," Emmett looked at me as though I was crazy, "exactly how would I be able to do that, Bella?"

I scowled, "you're the mythical creature," I told him "you shouldn't be able to feel your leg when it _is _attached."

Emmett looked at Rosalie questioningly, she shrugged.

Edward laughed, he was running back to us now, with Emmett's leg tucked under his remaining arm. "You should ask Carlisle" he suggested, "I'm sure he has a theory on how our nervous system functions. I brought your leg back, Emmett, do you want to swap?"

Emmett was suspicious, "you're too eager to return it, Eddie," he said, "what have you done to it?"

Edward narrowed his eyes, "what did you do to my arm?" he asked. "I can't believe that I left you with my arm and you damaged it. Rosalie, what did you let him do to my arm?"

Rose sighed, "it's fine, Edward," she said, "give me Emmett's leg, I'm going to wash it before it reattaches. I think that it would be best if there wasn't any dirt in the join."

"That sounds fair," Emmett said, "give Rose my leg and I'll give Bella your arm."

Edward looked at me, "I don't think that Bella wants a disembodied vampire arm," he said.

Emmett rolled his eyes, but Rose nodded and reached out to take both of the unattached limbs.

"It's your arm," I told Edward, not liking the idea of rejecting any part of him. "It's kind of weird, but it doesn't scare me."

"Except when it's thrown at her," Rose said warningly.

Emmett smirked and passed Edward's arm over to me. Gingerly, I took it. Edward watched me carefully. I don't know whether he was worried about what I might do to his arm, or whether he was just worried that I might be upset.

Suddenly he growled at Emmett, "you painted my nails!" he said, "why are you such an idiot?"

"Oh, relax, Edward," Rose said, "it's nailpolish, it'll come off easily."

Edward scowled at Emmett again. "It's pink," he said.

Both Emmett and Rosalie laughed at that. "What colour would you prefer?" Emmett asked.

Edward shook his head in annoyance. But, I noticed that his anger was less intense now. Some part of that fight had helped him to release that pent up aggression. It was like the way that keepers put toys and puzzles into animals cages to replace the thinking and work that they have to do in the wild. Fighting with Emmett wasn't the same as destroying the vampire who had crept into my bedroom (and, I didn't need to hear him say it to know that was the top of Edward's To-Do-List right now); but fighting with Emmett had partially satisfied the side of Edward that really needed to fight.

I looked down at the arm that I was holding in my hands. It was heavy, not like a marble arm, but like a strong, muscular arm. I could easily hold it in both of my hands, but it would have been heavy for one hand. It was cold, as Edward's skin always is. It was moving.

When Emmett had been holding it, Edward's arm had been trying to get away from him. The fingers had wiggled away from Emmett's touch, as though they were nervous. When I gently stroked them, Edward's fingers stilled under my touch.

"Aw," Emmett said, "look at that, Jake. Your arm likes Bella."

Edward tried to look annoyed, but he couldn't quite stop himself from smiling, "of course my arm likes Bella" he said, "every single bit of me adores Bella."

I turned his arm over and stroked my finger along his palm, tracing his endless life-line.

He sighed, "can you do that again when it's attached?"

"Edward, you may be the first person in history to be jealous of their own arm," I teased him, leaning down and planting a soft kiss on each of his finger-tips.

Slowly, I kissed his thumb, then his index finger, his middle finger, his ring-finger, finally his little finger. My lips lingered on his last finger for a second or two, before I looked up to meet his eyes again.

I thought that I was teasing him, but he was smirking at me, as though he was the winner. I looked back down at the hand that I'd been kissing and gasped. The hand that I was holding was attached to Edward. Now I was holding a perfectly healthy hand and his right arm was tucked under his left arm-pit. I hadn't felt the slightest movement.

"You switched hands. When did you do that?"

He shrugged, "when I realised that you planned on kissing my fingers; I wanted to feel it."

It hit me then that I didn't really know how fast Edward could move. He must conceal most of his abilities from me most of the time. How strange that must feel. How slow and plodding he must find me. I wondered why Edward hardly ever used his speed to his advantage. He could literally run rings around me.

I didn't have long to wonder, Rosalie was bored of watching me kissing either of Edward's hands.

"Come on," she said, "Bella seems to be taking all this in her stride. She's not going into shock any time soon. We'll get the limbs cleaned up. You boys can go and get changed and wash up, we'll see you in the lounge and put you back together."

We went into the kitchen and Rosalie ran warm water into the sink. We stripped the last bits of clothing off Edward's arm and Emmett's leg. I let the raw edge of Edward's arm rest on the kitchen table while I carefully took off Edward's watch. His fingers reached out to me. They stroked along my jawline gently.

I was surprised, it felt just like the whole of Edward. I looked over at Rosalie. She was staring at the arm.

"Well, that's weird," she said.

I nodded.

Then we put the limbs into the warm, soapy water. Suddenly, they both began thrashing around, as if they were trying to continue the fight that their complete bodies had abandoned.

Rose scowled and hauled them out of the water. She took one in each hand and slammed them down hard on the table. "Idiots," she said, just as if she was scolding Emmett and Edward.

She passed me Edward's arm again, this time I was more wary. After seeing it attack Emmett's leg, I was less sure that it was a safe thing to hold. The fingers reached for me, and I tried to twist out of the way. But, even disconnected from the rest of him, Edward's arm was vampire-fast. My writhing made no difference, his arm reached for me, and his fingers caressed any part of my skin that they could reach. It was strange, Edward was usually very controlled. He touched me rarely, and always gently. His arm, disconnected from the rest of him, never stopped reaching for me, and, when it was within reach, it never stopped stroking me and tickling me. I liked the intense physicality of his arm, it wanted to touch me, to hold me, and it wasn't held back by morals or by a fear of hurting me. I wished that circumstances allowed Edward to be a bit less controlled with me from time to time. If only he could be reconciled to the idea of my change, then his whole body could reach for mine with this kind of urgency.

Emmett's bare foot was ticklish, wiggling away from Rose's hand. His foot danced about and nuzzled into her wrist, like a very strangely shaped puppy. It made Rose laugh. Rose washed the leg and dried it carefully. I did the same with the arm. We had to keep hold of them because when we laid them on the table, they tumbled themselves onto the floor and tried to make their way towards their owners.

Eventually, with the limbs clean and dry, we walked back into the lounge, where we found Edward and Emmett waiting for us. Esme and Carlisle were there too. They watched curiously, as we came into the room.

Edward frowned, "you didn't wash off the nailpolish?"

I felt guilty for playing with his arm, when he'd assumed that I was cleaning it up.

Rose, on the other hand, shrugged, "nailpolish remover stinks" she said, "and it's not going to do you any harm."

"You threw my leg away," Emmett reminded him, "be glad that _all _I did was paint your nails. Anyway, you might decide that you like it. I'll paint your other arm as well, if you like. Then you'll match."

"Shall we just concentrate on putting you both back together?" Carlisle asked. "Rose, would you mind passing me Emmett's leg?"

Rose handed it over. Carlisle examined it carefully, comparing the tear on the limb to that on what Emmett had left of his leg. Satisfied, he carefully held it in place.

As we watched, Emmett's leg began to knit back together. It was incredible. I could actually see the tears matching together and fusing back in place. Emmett grimaced a bit, "it feels exactly the same as having it torn off," he said, "just a bit slower."

Carlisle nodded. "Can I have Edward's arm now please, Bella?" I handed (tee hee!) it to him. As I turned, to go and sit next to Edward, his arm reached out and his right hand grabbed my butt and pinched.

I screeched, I was pretty sure that I'd have a bruise there tomorrow morning. Carlisle pulled Edward's arm away.

"Edward, that's not like you" Esme said, "your arm appears to have a mind of it's own."

Her comment made Emmett and Rosalie laugh, but I'm not sure that Esme intended to be funny. She sounded bemused that Edward's arm should be behaving so uncharacteristically, as if she was wondering whether it might not really be his. As if we might have somehow mixed it up in the kitchen with some other vampire's unattached arm.

Edward wasn't amused by his wayward limb, he pinched the bridge of his nose with his left hand, "um . . . sorry, Bella," he said, "that wasn't polite."

I giggled, it had only been momentarily painful. "Does that mean that your body wants to do that to me all the time and usually your head holds it back?"

He frowned, "yes, I guess it does. Does that offend you?"

I gave him a kiss on the cheek, "definitely not," I said. It was kind of nice to think that Edward had an animal lust side.

"Perhaps you had better stay on his other side, until his arm is safely attached," Carlisle suggested.

I did so, and Edward put his obedient and attached arm around my shoulders.

Carlisle held his arm against his shoulder and we all watched it reattach. Edward winced a bit with the pain. Once it was finally attached, Edward flexed it and moved it about to check that everything was in order. Then he slapped his own hand, obviously irritated with his body for betraying his principles. I laughed at him and kissed the slapped part of his hand. "Be nice," I said, "this is currently my favourite bit of you. I think it's sweet."

Edward rolled his eyes at me.

"I'd like to check you both over in a few hours," Carlisle said, "just to make sure that everything is as it should be. But I am pretty sure that you're going to be fine. That doesn't mean, however," he said sternly, "that I want to see you playing this sort of game again. Wrestling is one thing, but tearing each other apart is likely to wake up your baser instincts. It's certainly not a safe thing to do with Bella around."

Edward and Emmett sighed in concert and hung their heads.

"I'm not going to give you a lecture," Carlisle said, "just suggest you to be a bit more careful when you play-fight."

Emmett looked up with a grin, "sure," he said.

"We won't do it again," Edward said. Then he looked back at me, "are you scared, Bella?" he asked.

I shook my head, "I think it's about time I got a bit more vampire experience," I told him, "perhaps you'll let me see you hunt one day."

Edward growled, "definitely not," he said, "not while you're still human."

"Why don't we just film it?" Emmett asked, "wouldn't you like to be a film star, Eddie?"

Edward thought about that, probably wondering what the ramifications would be. "Alright," he said, "but, you'd better watch it here. I'm not sure that Charlie would understand."

A film of Edward hunting, that was the next best thing to watching him. I wanted to show how pleased I was with this new concession, so I knelt up next to Edward and kissed him. I felt him slip his hands behind me and rest them on my butt again. They were both there this time, but it was a much more gentle hold. It felt firm, but I didn't think that he was going to leave any more bruises. Obviously, it was Edward's head that knew how tightly he could hold me, not his hands.

Emmett whistled, "get a room, you two," he said.

"Good idea," Edward said, and he carried me up to his room at a run.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to any of the books in the 'Twilight' series. But, I do own copies of the books, and I shall make do with those.

He tossed me down onto his bed and threw himself down next to me. The mattress bounced with the impact of Edward, making me laugh.

"So," Edward said, "I thought that I might see if I could give my other hand a chance to win back its place in your affections."

"Alright," I said, "what did you have in mind?"

Edward smirked, "let me show you," he said. He rolled over onto his side facing me and began to stroke his arm up and down my side.

He started with gentle, feather strokes, moving onto circles and spirals round and round my back. He'd never done anything like this before, so I wasn't sure why it felt so familiar and right. Edward carefully pulled me onto my stomach and knelt up next to me. He let himself use both arms and began to knead my back gently. He rubbed my shoulders. Then he let his hands trail down my sides again. He danced and drummed his fingers down my back, he traced my spine delicately. He caressed my legs, and worked his way all the way down. When he reached my feet, I realised what he was doing. He'd taken everything that he'd learnt from rubbing my feet and scaled it up. He was using what I'd told him about what I liked, to give me a glorious full body massage. It felt amazing. It felt as though he already knew my body. His touch was smooth and confident. Every now and again he would whisper something like 'I love you, Bella,' or 'you're beautiful'. I was beginning to drift off into a light sleep, when Edward slid his arms under me and span me over so that I was lying on my back instead. He continued in his task: massaging my front, gently and delightedly. I heard him croon in appreciation as he swept his hands up and down my figure.

He finished with my face, trailing his fingers gently over it, then leaning in and kissing me over and over again, long, lingering kisses on my lips, whisper-light kisses along my cheekbones, quick pecks on my chin and forehead. I looked up at him, it felt like waking up after a wonderful dream.

"Does your arm hurt?"

He looked at it as if the answer was going to be written there, "not really."

"Take off your shirt, let me look."

He smiled that crooked smile, "is this just an excuse to get me to take off my shirt?"

"If it makes you feel better, I'll take off my shirt too," I offered.

Edward looked conflicted. Then he sighed, "I don't think that I'm ready for that," he said. But, he did take off his own shirt.

His chest was flawless, ridged with muscles, like a snowy mountain range. I skied my fingers over his rib cage, slaloming around his belly-button. Edward watched my fingers carefully, ready to grab them and call time-out if he was enjoying himself too much.

I stroked his injured arm gently, examining it for any sign of damage. "It must have hurt a lot when Emmett did that" I said, squeamishly avoiding saying what Emmett had done.

Edward twisted his arm around, wrapped it around me and pulled me close against him, showing that his arm was as strong as ever, though I knew that he could do far more impressive things with it than picking me up. "My kind heal fast," he said. "You're concerned about me, but seeing us fight must have been terrifying for you. I shouldn't have let Emmett goad me into that fight."

I couldn't deny the fear. But, I wanted him to understand that I didn't mind. Dating a vampire means seeing scary things sometimes. I don't know if I'm always brilliant at it, but I am trying to love Edward as he is: a super-strong, super-fast creature that feeds on blood and has to work to stop himself slaughtering innocents. I don't want him to have to hide himself around me all the time. He once said that it was easy to be himself around me, I wish that he really could.

"You needed to let off a bit of steam. It obviously helped. Look at you now, curled up with me and not worrying about anything. Perhaps you should spend more time fighting with Emmett."

"I think that my current mood is more thanks to you than it is to Emmett. I'm happy because you're letting me do this." He lay me down on the bed, my arms stretched above my head, my full length laid out for him to admire. Then he pressed his face to my skin and popped tiny kisses all the way down my arms, around my face, on my lips, under my chin. He pulled my top up and kissed a thin line skirting over my hips. Then he kissed back down the line, back under my chin, on my lips, around my face and back up my arms.

I let him do as he pleased for a while, but the third time he leaned it to kiss my lips, I grabbed him and pulled myself up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pressed my face to his and kissed him back. I took charge of the kiss, pushing his lips with mine, carefully stroking my tongue against his bottom lip. We explored one another's lips. I hummed happily and I heard Edward purr back at me.

"You're amazing," I said.

He grinned at me, "amazing enough for you?" he asked.

"Easily," I said, "I'm lucky to have you."

Thinking about what had happened earlier, I asked him "You have a perfect memory, don't you?"

Rather than waste his mouth on replying, Edward nodded a 'yes' whilst dusting my clavicles with his tongue.

"Can you remembered what things feel like – physical sensations – as well as things that you saw or heard?"

Again he nodded, using his mouth now to blow gently at my hair, making light strands dance around my ears, tickling them.

"Mmmm." I wished that I had one of those perfect memories. I would like to lie in my bed at home remembering the feeling of his tongue on my skin. "Can you remember what it felt like when I had your arm earlier? I mean, now that it's attached do you have the memories of the things it felt when it wasn't?"

Finally he was forced to look up, "no," he said, "I can't recall the feeling of Emmett painting my nails, nor of you washing my arm in a sink. Does that disappoint you? Am I less marvellous than you thought?"

It was an unexpected question. I had only been curious about how his body worked. It wasn't as though I had an emotional investment in his answers. "I think that I'm getting used to some of the differences between us. I would like to understand them better. You know what it's like to be human - you have some memories and you live around humans all the time. You can read the minds of humans whenever you want. I don't have any of that. I just get curious about your vampireness from time to time."

"My vampireness?" he laughed at me.

It wasn't that long ago that the word 'vampire' had been so new and frightening that I couldn't bear to say it. The human mind really is very good at adjusting to new realities. Already I was used to the idea of vampires and werewolves, I could talk about them all with perfect calm.

"Can you change your mind?"

Edward looked suspicious, "about what?" he asked. I wonder if he thought I was going to beg favours for kisses.

"Not about anything in particular, just as a general point. I know that you can learn things as a vampire, you have done so. So, even though you say that your body doesn't change, your brain must somehow build new synaptic connections. What I wanted to know was whether your could change your mind. For example, you said that your favourite thing to eat was mountain lion. Will that be the same forever, or could it change?"

Edward thought about that for a while. "I don't really know," he said, "I think that I've changed my mind about things, but that's always been because of new evidence. I don't know if my tastes could change. Obviously, I could one day hunt something new and prefer it to lions. But, that wouldn't be the same as changing my mind. I once thought that I was content to be alone, but then I met you and that changed my mind. I have gone off musicians over time. There are pieces that I liked once, and don't particularly like now. So, I suppose that it is possible for me to change my mind. Why are you so curious about me today?"

"I guess Emmett made me think."

He chuckled and kissed the back of my neck, making me shiver. "Don't tell him that," he whispered, "he doesn't aim to make people think."

Wanting to make him feel the same shivery pleasure that he gave me, I twisted around and kissed the back of his neck. He tasted sweet and nutty, like baklava. I heard a very satisfactory groan from Edward, so I did it again.

He responded by stroking the nail-side of his fingers down my spine. I copied that too.

Edward made a humming noise. Then he sat up a bit so that I could see his face. He was grinning at me. He liked this game. He pulled his hand through my hair. I pulled my hand through his hair. I liked this game too.

We played for a while. Edward stroking, kissing, licking, teasing; and me responding in kind. Each of us enjoying the feeling of touching and being touched. Edward was probably carefully cataloguing every detail of my responses to him. He would be able to recreate any one of these wonderful feelings at will. I tried to do the same, but it was harder for me. I kept getting distracted by an unexpected kiss. I did learn that Edward liked my hands in his hair and my lips on the back of his neck very much indeed. He also seemed to like it when my hair brushed over his arm. I liked it best when his face was close enough that I could feel his breath – the only warm-feeling part of him – against my skin.

"This is wonderful," I said, "I would like to lie here, kissing you, and being kissed by you forever."

He smiled at me, "you can," he said, "if you marry me."

I gasped and Edward did too.

"That really isn't how I intended to ask that," he said, "um . . . can I try again?"

I put my hand over his mouth, "Edward," I said, gently, "shall we just say that you were carried away, and leave it at that. I'm not ready to have this conversation. You've not even been back for a full month yet."

I saw pain in his eyes, but he nodded at me.

When I took my hand away he said, "sorry, Bella, did I ruin a lovely moment?"

Well, yes, I thought, of course you did. There we were happily kissing and you asked me to marry you! I'm not even nineteen yet, and you're eternally seventeen. Why are you even thinking about marriage? Yes, you ruined a pleasant moment.

But, he was looking at me with his hurt eyes, the way he did when he was afraid that I would leave him. I couldn't hurt him any more. The only reasonable thing to do was to console him. The only decent thing to do was to tell him that it was all ok. The only loving thing to do was to hold him close and kiss him.

So that's what I did. I wrapped my arms around him, held him really close and said "no, not at all. It's sweet that you want me forever. I want you forever too. I love you. I love kissing you. Let's just carry on with that."

We carried on kissing. Eventually I lay back, tired and satisfied, just wanting to lie side by side and hold hands.

Edward was always willing to do that with me. But this time he waited until we were both lying back with our eyes on the ceiling, and brought up the same awkward conversation from before. "Would it have gone differently, if I'd gone down on one knee and offered you a ring?" he asked.

"No," I said desperately. I really, really didn't want him to do that. It was one thing to have refused a blurted out half-intended proposal. It was another, and a much worse thing, to refuse a real down-on-one-knee, ring-in-a-box proposal. And I knew that I would have to refuse him.

There was silence.

Perhaps Edward had expected a bit more. I turned to look at him. He hadn't moved at all. He was still looking up at the ceiling, he was even still holding my hand. He must have known that I was looking at him, but he didn't respond.

"Sorry," I tried, "it's not that I don't love you."

"It's just that you don't want to marry me" he said in a dead voice.

"I don't want to marry anyone," I offered, but I don't think that it was a great deal of consolation.

"Oh," he said.

There was a knock on the door. Neither of us answered. Whoever it was knocked again and said, "Edward, Bella, are you alright?" it was Alice.

"Come in, Alice," Edward said, in a version of his normal voice.

Alice opened the door, "um . . . it's time for Bella to go home," she said, "do you want me to give you a lift, Bella?"

I sighed, I didn't really want to leave Edward right now. He was obviously hurt and would probably stay in his bedroom and sulk until school the next day.

"Give me five minutes," I said to Alice, "then I'll come downstairs."

She nodded at me, and closed the door.

"Right," I said, sitting up and looking down at Edward's blank face, "what can I do to cheer you up in five minutes?"

He looked at me and sighed, "tell me that you were joking?" he suggested.

"Any other ideas?"

"Tell me that I can ask you again," he said earnestly, "I'll wait. I'll wait until you can trust me; I'll wait until you're older. But, tell me that I can ask you again."

"Not tomorrow," I checked.

Edward rolled his eyes, "no, Bella," he said, "I won't ask you again tomorrow."

"Well, alright then, you can ask me again." I said.

He smiled again, "thank you, Bella."

"That was easy," I said "and I still have a bit of time."

He grinned at me now, "you have four minutes and twenty seven seconds," he said precisely, "was there anything that you wanted to do with that time?"

I did my best imitation of a vampire crouch, then I pounced on him and kissed his neck.

Edward laughed and rolled over so he was pinning me down, "that was nice," he said, "but I like this idea better," he covered me with kisses, deliberately tickling me and making me wriggle.

Too soon, Edward looked up, as if someone had called his name. Of course, they probably had.

"Alright," he said, "it's time for you to go, Bella."

He carried me back down the stairs and kissed me goodbye. I got into Alice's car and breathed a sigh of relief. I had refused to marry Edward, and he hadn't gone completely crazy. I think that counts as a success of sorts.

"So," I asked, turning to Alice as soon as we were on the road, "is he going to be alright?"

She grinned at me, "it's cheating to try and sneak peaks into the future of your relationship" she scolded me, "don't you know that we have Family Rules about that?"

"No, I didn't know, what are they?"

Alice smirked, "when couples fight, I'm not allowed to tell anyone how they eventually make up with their partner. It all gets too confusing if people try to settle arguments before they're meant to."

I scowled at her, "but that wouldn't apply to Edward, of course, since he can see your visions, without you telling him. So, all I'm asking you to do is even the playing field up a bit."

"True," Alice allowed, "but I don't need both of you mad at me."

"Is Edward mad at you already?"

She nodded, "he's going to be furious when I get home. He was sure that you would say 'yes' and he thinks that's all my fault. He ought to know the weaknesses inherent in my gift by now, but he doesn't always think straight when you're involved."

"You've seen me agree to marry him?" I asked, pretty shocked. I had never, ever decided to do such a thing. I'd never even considered marriage until a certain ultra-committed vampire blurted it out today.

Alice was confused, "actually," she said, "that's the one thing that I've never seen. I've seen you marry him, lots of times. I have my favourite wedding dress of yours; which is presumably the one that you wear if you decide to listen to my fashion advice. I've seen you become one of us, too, sometimes before you marry him and sometimes after. But I have never actually seen the moment at which you accept his proposal. Maybe that means something."

"Um . . . Alice, please don't suggest that Edward forces me to marry him."

She laughed delightedly, like a little piccolo, "he hasn't considered that for days," she consoled me, "even when you said 'no' this afternoon, he managed to keep himself from planning to kidnap you." She clearly thought that this was a great show of restraint on Edward's part, but my mind was reeling from the thought that he ever _had_ considered kidnapping me.

"No," Alice continued, as cheerfully as ever, "what I was thinking was that perhaps he hasn't thought of the right way to ask you yet. That's why I can't see you accepting his proposal, even though my visions of your wedding make it pretty clear that you do love him and want to be with him forever. Anyway, Jasper says that I'm not to interfere. The dress that I choose is much nicer, though, Bella, will you promise me that when – sorry, if – you do agree to marry Edward, you'll wear the dress that I pick out for you?"

She seemed so eager, almost as eager as Edward had been, when he'd tried to get me to agree to marry him. Hmm . . . perhaps there was some way in which I could use this eagerness to my advantage. What could I get Alice to promise me in return? To give me an all-access pass to Edward's plans? I could ensure that his proposals (I was pretty certain now, that there were going to be more) never took me by surprise again. Maybe this was my opportunity to escape a few future makeovers. I could let Alice choose my wedding dress in exchange for being allowed to choose my own outfits for school.

"Don't bother," Alice said, before I'd decided which bargain to go for, "I can't strike a bargain with you on this. I'll just wait and ask you again later."

Conversations with Alice could be kind of annoying at times.

Finally, she dropped me off at home, and I went indoors. That night I dreamt about hundreds of Edwards, following me everywhere I went, demanding that I agreed to marry them. I didn't sleep well.

Jasper noticed my weary look in the morning and asked if I was ill. Before he could answer, Edward responded that I couldn't have a virus, because I smelt fine. He added that my temperature was normal and my heartbeat steady.

I think that Edward would have gone on for some time, analysing my body's condition, if I hadn't glared at him and asked him to shut up.

"Oh," he said, looking a bit hurt, "you are a bit grouchy, Bella, perhaps you didn't sleep well."

Part of me wanted to tell him that I was absolutely fine, I didn't like him being able to tell so much about me so easily. I felt vulnerable with him analysing my scent all the time. The other part of me thought that the best revenge would be to tell him that it was his fault I hadn't slept well. I would never be able to make him feel guilty for noticing how I smelt and chatting to his siblings about it, that was normal behaviour for him and it would be impossible for him to understand my objections. He would, however, be utterly miserable if I told him that he'd given me nightmares.

Maybe that was too cruel. I didn't want Edward to be utterly miserable, just a bit chastened. He was far too good at beating himself up for me to risk making him feel guilty deliberately. I should just be quiet and leave him alone.

I heard a slight groan from Alice, "that was funny," she said, "and you made it go away."

Fine, I thought, you asked for it. "Fine," I said, "I did have nightmares last night, happy now?"

"No," Edward and Jasper said at the same time as Alice said "much better."

"Alice," Jasper protested, "it's not funny that Bella is having nightmares. Perhaps you should talk to Carlisle about it," he said to me, "it must be very stressful for you, knowing that Victoria is still out there. Carlisle could give you something to help you sleep."

"Wait for it," Alice muttered.

"I didn't have nightmares about Victoria," I said, scorning the idea that something as paltry as a death threat would disturb my sleep, "I had nightmares about Edward."

Alice started laughing, "see, that is funny!" she crowed.

"No it isn't" Jasper and Edward spoke together again.

"About me?" Edward asked me softly, though I wasn't fooled, I knew that Alice and Jasper could hear him perfectly clearly. "What do I do in these nightmares?"

"You keep asking me to marry you," I said.

Edward sat back as though I'd slapped him. "I won't bother you," he said quietly, "please don't let yourself be upset over my persistence. I won't be a nuisance to you. I won't ask again until you say I may."

He closed his eyes and didn't say anything for the rest of the car journey.

Alice and Jasper stepped into the breach and kept a conversation going between the two of them, while I sat there and hated myself for hurting Edward's feelings, yet again.

He sulked all day at school.

Actually, that isn't fair at all. I wish that he had sulked, it would have been easier to handle. If Edward had sulked, then I would have had reason to be annoyed, we could have had a fight and then made up and perhaps everything would have gotten back to normal. Edward didn't sulk. He was exactly the same as always. He carried my books, he bought my lunch, he talked to me when we walked between classes. He didn't tease me or argue with me, or even pester me with endless questions. He talked about minor inconsequential things for the entire day. He was cheerful and smiling and sweet and affectionate.

He was also very unhappy. It was obvious that he was smiling in order to please me, that he was talking about nothing, because he wasn't allowed to talk about the one thing that he wanted to discuss. He was the perfect boyfriend all day. But, I knew that he was unhappy because he didn't ask me if I would come over and visit him this evening and he didn't once ask me what I was thinking. I don't think that we'd ever spent a day together before without him asking what I was thinking. Usually he was desperate to get inside my head. Today, it was as though he'd decided not to risk it.

Alice and Jasper didn't join us for lunch, which wasn't a big surprise. I could only guess how miserable Edward was feeling under his far-too-believable smile. It must be giving Jasper a headache.

It was a surprise when the day finally ended and we were back in Jasper's car. Nobody bothered to ask me what my plans were, Jasper drove to my house and dropped me off. Alice and Jasper said 'goodbye' in perfectly normal voices. Edward walked me to my front door and kissed me sweetly on the cheek. Then he walked to the Mustang and got in, without once looking back.

Charlie was surprised to find me home alone, but he didn't say anything. I suppose he was worried that, if he interfered, I might change my mind and run off to see Edward. We ate dinner together and talked about the ridiculous college acceptance letters that I'd been receiving lately. Charlie didn't think that they were ridiculous, well, he didn't say that. But, I knew that there was no way Dartmouth had offered me a place without a fairly hefty bribe. I wondered if I would ever get to see the essays that Edward had sent in on my behalf.

Being alone for the evening was actually kind of relaxing. I caught up, and then I got ahead, with my homework. I played a couple of games of checkers with Charlie, and then I had a long, relaxing bath. Finally, I took myself to bed.

That was when the guilt really hit. First I'd refused to marry him. Then I'd told him that his proposal had given me nightmares. Still, I hadn't apologised for the way that I'd hurt him. Edward had said that he wouldn't 'bother me', so he was probably waiting for me to call him. I remembered how upset he'd been when I'd forgotten about him for twenty minutes. What kind of a state was he going to be in now that I'd ignored him for an entire evening?

I ought to call him and at least wish him 'goodnight'. Of course, being a vampire, Edward wasn't going to sleep any time soon. I could call him in a few minutes, or even in an hour. I could take a bit of time to work out what I was going to say to him first. I didn't want to make things worse.

I lay back on my bed and tried to think. What would cheer him up? Short of accepting his proposal, what could I offer that would reassure him that I really did love him and wanted to be with him forever?

Surely the greatest proof I had of my desire to be his forever was that I wanted to become a vampire. I didn't care if I was going to loose my soul (though, I couldn't really believe that I would); I didn't want a soul if I couldn't have a soul-mate. But, that was not the right thing to say to cheer Edward up; that would just be jumping from one argument into another.

Would it help if I told him what I thought marriage was? Would he understand if he could see marriage from my perspective? If his parents had split up, would he want to marry me now?

But, he could easily turn that back around and ask me why I didn't bow to his greater experience of life. So I had one set of parents who'd been divorced. He had one set of human parents who'd had a happy marriage, one set of surrogate parents who were happily married for eternity, and two sets of surrogate siblings who were happily married again and again forever. My experience paled into insignificance.

I could sort of see why Edward liked the idea of marriage. But, that didn't change anything. Marriage is a terrible thing when it goes wrong. But, I couldn't say that to him either. I couldn't say: I don't want to marry you, because I love you and I don't want to end up yelling, throwing plates and then storming out and leaving you. That would make him more upset not less. He would think that my refusing to marry him revealed some deep-rooted uncertainty about our relationship.

I fell asleep, trying to work out what to say.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I didn't write any of the books in the 'Twilight' series.

Author's Note: apologies if you've been following along, this took me a rather long time to write. I'm afraid that's because I've been busy with Christmassy chores, not because it's an especially brilliant chapter.

I slept well (I know, I know, I didn't deserve to sleep well, I deserved to toss and turn all night long, but the bath helped) and I didn't wake up until the next morning, when my alarm went off.

As I dressed for school, I was cursing myself and dreading facing Edward. What would he think of me now? He would never be able to understand that I had intended to call him, but had fallen asleep. He would think that I was heartless.

I was too nervous to eat breakfast. I stood in the hallway, listening for the roar of Jasper's Mustang. Alice must have noticed that I was going to be ready early, because the car pulled up before its usual time. Jasper got out and began to walk (slowly, a casual human stride) up the driveway. I grabbed my bag, opened the front door and came down to meet him.

"No Edward today?" I asked, wondering if he was so miserable that he'd run away again.

Jasper looked confused, "he's in the car" he said, nodding towards the back-seat, "can you really not see that far? I think even a human's eyes ought to be able . . ."

I scowled at this latest accusation of my sight being less acute than even an average human, and Jasper shrugged and cut himself off.

He took my bag, of course, in the Cullens' world Edward's polite gestures were normal behaviour, and he held open the car door for me. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Edward was sat next to me today, not in the front seat like he usually was.

Edward smiled at me when I got in the car. He wished me a good morning and took my hand in his. This day was exactly like the day before. Edward chatted to me, kissed me chastely, smiled a lot and didn't do any of the things that usually annoyed me. Alice and Jasper pretended that everything was fine, but they avoided us at lunch and managed not to bump into us once in the corridors, though that usually happened several times a day.

Edward was perfect, again. He was sweet and attentive. He was interested in everything that I said. He carried my books, held doors open and pulled out chairs for me. He picked up my pens, when I dropped them, and he didn't laugh at my clumsiness. He let me look into his golden eyes for ages without pressuring me to tell him what was going through my mind. He held my hand whenever he could, he kissed me on the cheek whenever he thought that I would let him. He was utterly respectful and anxious for my comfort all day long, but he managed to be available rather than hovering.

In short, Edward did everything that I had ever asked him to do. He was by my side, but he wasn't in my face. He was interested, but he wasn't intrusive. He was affectionate, but he didn't draw attention to us as a couple. He didn't scowl at other boys or pull me away from them. He was flawless. I wasn't the mind-reader, but even I knew that every single girl envied me my perfect boyfriend.

I had everything that I had ever wanted from Edward, but it felt wrong. It felt too good, too nice, too bland. It felt as though he was pretending. This wasn't the Edward that I had got to know. This Edward was calm and collected, not intense and moody. This Edward kept his distance and was content just to be in my life, he didn't also want to be in my head. This Edward was happy and contented. I had never seen my Edward being happy and contented throughout an entire school day. This Edward was too perfect. He didn't seem to be himself.

When we all got into the car at the end of the second day of fake-perfect-boyfriendness, I cracked. I had begun to consider the possibility that this wasn't really Edward, but was a robot constructed to look like Edward. I couldn't understand where all his emotions had gone, the only one that he seemed to have left was a sort of placid cheerfulness.

"Alright," I said, "you're very good at not sulking and I'm impressed. But it's getting a bit scary. We need to talk."

Edward looked confused, "have I been annoying you?" he asked, he seemed to be thinking hard. Knowing his perfect memory, he was probably running through the day in his head, trying to work out what had gone wrong.

"No," I said, "you haven't and that's a problem."

"You would like me to be more annoying?"

Jasper and Alice laughed.

"No!" I said again, getting irritated now, "I'm going to come round to yours this afternoon and we're going to talk."

Edward nodded. I realised that we must have been driving towards his house rather than mine, I guess Alice had seen this coming.

The rest of the drive was silent, luckily Jasper drove fast, so the silence didn't last long.

When we reached the Cullens' house, Alice and Jasper disappeared and Edward took me into the lounge. We had the whole lounge to ourselves. As far as I could hear, we had the house to ourselves, but I couldn't always hear where his family were.

Edward cheerfully brought me juice and cookies, before he sat down next to me and asked me what I wanted to talk about.

"This," I said, pointing at the juice, the cookies, and his bizarrely cheerful expression.

Edward looked confused, "don't you like cookies?" he asked, "I can get something else."

"Don't be obtuse," I said, then I scowled because it was the sort of thing that my mum used to say to me.

He smiled again, I was really beginning to miss his agonised frowns about now, what had happened to my Edward? I would never have expected to miss his pained expressions, but this new, smiley Edward just didn't seem real.

"Alright," he said, "I'm afraid that I still don't understand what it is that you want to discuss. What aspect of this," he pointed at the cookies, the juice and his own, calm smiling face, "is displeasing you?"

I frowned. What was he playing at? "Why are you so happy?" I asked.

"You're here," he said, "I'm always happy when you're with me."

"No, you're not. Usually, when I've disagreed with you about something, you sulk. I refused to marry you and you're not sulking. I need to know why not."

He shrugged. This was getting stranger and stranger, where was the wincing and the narrowing of the eyes?

"I'm being calm and mature about this," he said, "it would be foolish to sulk because you don't want to marry me."

That was, of course, true. "But, aren't you upset?" I pressed.

Suddenly, he smirked and he looked a bit like himself again, "do you want me to sulk?" he asked, "I can; if that would please you."

"Don't tease," I snapped, then I realised that he would probably accept that as an order too. He would stop teasing me or sulking and then he would just smile at me blandly all the time. "Wait," I said, "I don't mean that. You're allowed to tease me. You're also allowed to sulk and to be miserable when you don't get what you want. I don't like the feeling that you're acting around me. I know that you put on an act most of the time, and you're very good at it, but I don't like the idea that you're putting on an act with me. I want our relationship to be real."

"But, I made you unhappy," he said, "I don't want to make you unhappy."

"That's what real relationships are like" I said. Then I giggled. "Well, that's what I think they're like, anyway. Actually, you're my very first relationship, so I'm sort of guessing."

He smiled his crooked smile at me, and I had my first hope that my Edward might be back, "me too," he said. "I am not going to pressure you about marriage, though. That would be rude and unhelpful. I was a bit upset, but really, Jasper helped and I think that I understand. We need to take things one step at a time. I can wait."

He put his arm around me, and I snuggled into his chest, "this is nice," I said, "much better than perfect."

Edward chuckled, "better than perfect?" he repeated.

"Yes. Yesterday you were acting like the perfect boyfriend, and I didn't really like it. Now, you're acting more like you, and I like it better. See, you're better than perfect."

He pulled me closer and laughed again, "wait for it," he whispered.

I wondered what he meant, but then I saw Emmett and Rosalie come into the room. Emmett was roaring with laughter, but Rosalie looked pityingly at me.

"You don't know how to have a decent fight," Rose said, "that was rubbish."

"No it wasn't, Rose," Emmett answered, through his chortling, "Edward is better than perfect, didn't you hear? So, will you play, Jake?" he asked, presumably continuing a conversation that he'd been having with Edward out of my hearing-range or inside his head.

Edward shook his head. He never wanted to let go of me when I was visiting. Once he'd got me snuggled against his side, he liked to hold on until I had to go home. I decided that I ought to be a decent girlfriend and make sure that he had a bit of fun, so I pushed him forward and insisted that he let me watch him beat Emmett at whatever computer game Emmett wanted to play. At my insistence, Edward agreed. He pretended not to care either way, but as soon as the game started, he was just as competitive as Emmett.

They were playing some kind of a racing game. For some reason it wasn't enough fun for them to just control one car each, so they'd set the game up for four players and had taken two controllers each. Emmett tackled this extra difficulty by taking one controller in each hand. Edward kept switching between the two controllers, presumably trusting himself to move fast enough to compensate. The game did seem to occupy both of their attentions pretty well.

I watched for a bit. I saw Emmett win the first two races, and then Edward win the next one. Then Rose looked up from her magazine and said, "aren't you bored, Bella?"

Edward span round, letting Emmett overtake both his cars, "do you want to do something?" he asked me.

I shook my head, "you're losing," I told him and I laughed when he hissed and returned his attention to the game.

"Fancy making things a bit more interesting?" Rose asked me.

I was confused, "what did you have in mind?"

"Well, you're not going to leave Edward. You're going to sit here and watch him play his stupid game, and that means that Emmett will sulk if I don't sit and watch too. So, why don't we make a bet? If we have to watch anyway, we may as well have something riding on the outcome. Then we might be a little more interested."

I thought about this. I couldn't really afford to gamble money with any of the Cullens and I wasn't sure that I wanted to play for secrets again. But, gambling did seem to be a family tradition and I did want to be a part of the family.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked. It couldn't be that bad, or Edward would have stepped in by now.

Rose grinned, "nothing too huge," she said, "how about a makeover? If Emmett wins, I get to give you a makeover next time you go out with Edward and if Edward wins you get to give me a makeover next time I go out with Emmett. It'll be fun."

Of course, I didn't have much to lose. Edward wasn't going to be taking me out any time soon. Had Rose forgotten that he still had more than two months left to serve? I guess two months didn't seem like much to a vampire, but, in two months time I would be a vampire too, and there wasn't much that Rose could do to hurt me.

"The makeovers can't include any permanent changes," I said, "no haircuts or tattoos."

Rose's eyes opened wide, "wow," she said, "you've spent too much time with my brothers. I'm not the devious one in the family. I'd never even have thought about that. Definitely nothing permanent, just make-up, hair-do, outfit and jewellery"

I nodded, that sounded safe enough. "Alright," I said "are we betting on the next race?"

Rose shook her head, "one race won't take them long enough. Let's say, first one to five wins. Starting with the next race."

I agreed. Edward won the race that they'd been having and I wished that I'd suggested that we began before, but it was too late. Then we sat back to watch the boys play.

I was glad of Rose's suggestion. She was right, it really did make watching the game a lot more fun. First one to five, took about as long as it possibly could. They managed to get four wins each, so that it all hung on one final race.

Esme interrupted us at that point and demanded that I ate dinner before the boys continued their game. I think that she was enjoying the excitement and deliberately increasing the anticipation. If Alice and Jasper had been home, I would have assumed that Jasper was messing about with everyone's emotions. I was glad that they weren't back yet, however, because I didn't want Edward to know in advance who would win.

Alice would definitely want Emmett to win, she was always in favour of me getting makeovers, at anyone's hands really. The only person who enjoyed seeing me dolled up more than Alice was Edward. Suddenly a new thought occurred to me, was he going to throw the race in order to make me lose my bet with Rose?

"Edward?" I asked, as he sat next to me, sort-of watching me eat, "do you want Emmett to win so that I'll let Rose dress me up? Are you going to let Emmett win?"

He looked very innocent, which convinced me that I was right.

"That would be deceitful of me," he said.

I scowled, "maybe I ought to give you some extra incentive, if you win . . ." I began, desperately trying to think of something that would make Edward as eager to win as I was to see him win. What did he like more than seeing me in a stupid outfit? "If you win, you can buy me a present."

His eyes lit up, "really? Are there limits?"

"Definitely" I said quickly, before I thought of them, "nothing that costs more than $100." It sounded like a lot of money to me, but Edward grimaced a bit.

Then he grinned again, "that's a deal," he said, "can I buy you a present if I lose?"

"Of course not, you like buying me presents. It's supposed to give you incentive to win."

"Can I buy you a small present if I lose?"

"No."

He pouted, "so, I _have _to win."

I nodded. That was perfect. Now all I had to do was to plan a pretty outfit for Rose. Of course, she would look great in absolutely anything. I giggled, remembering how I'd thought when I first saw her that she would make a Hessian sack look good. This could be my chance to test that theory. Of course, that would really annoy my future sister, so it was definitely best kept as a passing thought. I whispered it to Edward anyway, because I thought it was funny.

He laughed too, but then he said "of course, Rose did hear that, and now she's pretty desperate to win too, so I don't think that Emmett is going to make it easy for me."

"Hey," I protested, "I was only kidding. I wouldn't _really_ do that. I just thought it was a funny thing to say. And, Rose would still look good."

Edward chuckled, "are you finished?" he asked, noticing that I hadn't eaten anything for a bit. I nodded and he eagerly took my dirty dishes away.

We got back to the lounge and the final, deciding race began.

Rose had obviously had the same idea as I had. I don't know what she'd offered to reward Emmett with if he won, but it was definitely something that he wanted. I had thought that the boys were competitive before, but this was much more intense.

It was a close race, but Emmett won. He crowed and gave Rose a huge sloppy kiss. Edward frowned, but he came over to me for a kiss anyway. He didn't seem anywhere near as annoyed as he normally was when he lost a game.

"That's not fair," I said, "how come you're not upset about losing? I don't believe you were trying."

"Aw, Bella, don't tease Eddie," Emmett said, "he was certainly trying, he just can't help losing to his big brother."

Edward scowled at Emmett, and said to me, "It's not my fault that the prize for loosing was almost as good as the prize for winning. Maybe next time your prize won't come with a cash limit. I would work harder for that." I shivered. If I said that he could buy me anything he wanted, he would probably buy me a chain of hotels, or something.

"At least Rose won't be able to collect on her bet for a while," I said, "I'll just have to be very nice for the next two months and convince her that I look best in jeans and sneakers."

Emmett sniggered and Rose said, "why haven't you told her, Edward?"

He shrugged, "we've been busy with other things," he said. "Um . . . I was going to ask you, Bella, if you would like to go out for dinner with me on Saturday night. Please?"

"You can't take me out," I reminded him, "you're grounded until graduation. I was there at the family meeting."

Edward nodded, "that is true," he said, "but, um . . . I got special permission to take you out on Saturday night."

"He's a spoilt youngest child," Rosalie explained, "he looked all sweet and innocent and everyone caved."

"Please, Bella?"

That gave me almost no time to work on Rose. I frowned.

Edward looked panicked, "we can go another night," he offered, "if you already have plans."

"Don't be absurd," I told him, "you know that I never have any plans except with you. I'm just worrying about what Rose is going to make me wear."

"It'll be something suitable," Edward said, "Rose isn't going to do anything that would embarrass you."

I frowned, "where are we going?"

"It's a surprise. You don't need to know how to dress, since Rose will take care of that. So it can be a total surprise until Saturday night." Edward was so delighted with the way in which things had worked out, that I couldn't complain.

I'd lost a bet and I would have to be a good sport about it. Edward was absurdly happy to be taking me out on his surprise date, and it would be heartless to take away any of his pleasure. So I tried to smile and promised that I would do my best to look forward to out date. It would, at least, be nice to go out somewhere together. If we could have a bit of time alone, it would be well worth the terror of an expensive restaurant.

Charlie wasn't at all impressed when he found out about our plans. He moaned on and on about how it wasn't surprising that Edward had gone off the rails if the Cullens didn't stick to their punishments once they'd set them. I assured him that Edward had only been awarded this single free night because of his exceptionally good behaviour, but it didn't really seem to help.

Luckily, the Cullens had seen this coming (even if I hadn't) and Carlisle rang Charlie that evening to discuss it all with him. Carlisle emphasised that he didn't feel I ought to be punished for Edward's behaviour and he had felt bad seeing me visiting Edward every evening. It was as though I'd been grounded by default. Carlisle assured Charlie that Edward knew this was a one-off and he had been behaving impeccably at home and at school. Carlisle mentioned Edward's improvement of his grades, which was, I suppose, sort of true: he hadn't been to school at all while he'd been away and he was now back to his perfect straight A's. Charlie wasn't thrilled, but he, reluctantly, agreed that a small reward was a reasonable thing and one date wouldn't do either me or Edward any harm at all.

As if to prove that he really had earned his night out, Edward made an extra effort to please everyone in the run up to our date night. He wouldn't pass notes to me in class or kiss me in the corridors. He didn't tease Alice or Rose and he wouldn't allow Emmett to drag him into fights. He was scrupulously obedient to his parents and he didn't even protest when he was told that he still wasn't allowed access to his cars. I would have to drive us.

After his 'perfect-boyfriend' performance, I was suspicious of the 'perfect-son' sequel, but everyone else seemed happy, so I didn't complain. The Cullens all had enough to worry about, what with Victoria and the Wolves to consider. It was hardly surprising that they would just leave Edward to play his behaving-perfectly game. I hoped that it wasn't the sign of a storm brewing. We'd been through so much recently, I wasn't sure how well our relationship would weather another attack. Sometimes, it seemed as though it was impossible that Edward and I would ever be simply happy together.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer (actually I am not Kimberley Smith either, but that's irrelevant); I didn't write the 'Twilight' series, but if I had done, it would have looked more like this:

Despite my slight reservations, I was beginning to look forward to having an evening alone with Edward. Though his family left us with a bit of peace, we were nearly always being over-heard. We still had work to do on rebuilding the trust that had been lost when Edward left me, and it was hard to do that when several members of his family were within ear-shot.

Rose was almost as excited as Edward and Alice was almost as excited as Rose. I'd agreed to get to the Cullens' house after lunch and let Rose give me a full makeover before Edward and I went out at seven. When I pulled up at the house at half one, Rose ran over to the door and pulled it open, claiming that I could have been there a full hour ago.

The makeover wasn't as bad as it could have been. It began with a relaxing bath, which I really enjoyed. Then I was wrapped up in a towelling robe, while Rose played beautician. Rose made non-fashion-related conversation while she did my hair and make-up, so I didn't actually have to think about being preened. Unlike Alice, Rose didn't feel the need to try and educate me while she dressed me. She didn't bother to explain the outfit that she had chosen, so there was no tension while I pretended to understand the rational behind the neckline.

Rose laid out underwear and a dress and allowed me to put it on myself, so I wasn't as embarrassed as I might have been about the silky panties and the matching corset. I fiddled about with the stockings and suspenders, wishing that Rose had embraced the design of hold-ups, but there was no sniggering outside the door, so I just took my time and kept my cool. Once all the underwear was fastened on, I found that it wasn't actually at all uncomfortable. Suspenders do give you the confidence that your stockings won't fall down, and they're less claustrophobic than tights, so perhaps Rose had been considering the wear-ability of my outfit after all. The dress was amazing. It was a midnight blue, covered with glittering diamonds. It looked like a clear night sky. Most importantly, it was incredibly soft against my skin. It was the nicest fabric that I have ever felt. Rose had chosen a mid-length skirt, which I quite liked, and the neckline was a modest half-moon. I didn't feel exposed and my incredible underwear disappeared under the dress, giving me a seamless silhouette I had expected the suspenders to be visible under the skirt, but they weren't at all. There was no reason for Edward to even know that I was wearing them.

When I had my dress on I called out to Rose, as we'd agreed, and she came back promptly without complaining about how long I'd taken. She helped me on with my shoes, delicate kitten-heels, which weren't too high, and had secure straps so they probably wouldn't fall off. I was a bit overwhelmed by the jewellery that Rose had selected. There was a full set of ear-rings, bracelet and matching necklace, but it had been part of the bet, and it would be churlish for me to protest now. I let Rose fasten the delicate chain around my wrist, and tried not to be too suspicious. With the number of sparkles and the size of the stones, at least I could be sure that they weren't real diamonds. The necklace was even more extravagant. There were five separate strands of sparkling stones, looped around each other and then around my neck. It was a bit like tinsel around a Christmas tree. The ear-rings were impressive baubles: more sparkly stones, dangling down my cheeks. Then Rose added the final touch: sparkly barrettes in my hair. I couldn't believe how long everything had taken, but, by the time I was dressed, there was barely twenty minutes before Edward and I were due to leave.

Twenty minutes was certainly long enough to spend with Alice squealing and demanding that Rose talked her through every little detail of my outfit. Rose, quite neatly, took advantage of how close to time we were running and handed me her car keys rather than my own. At the very last minute she declared that the car was an accessory and, hence, part of my makeover. She insisted that I took hers. I would have loved to argue about that, but Rose reminded me that Edward had been waiting all day for a glimpse of me, and had been pacing up and down in front of the house for at least an hour, so I ought to put him out of his misery. For Edward's sake, I accepted the car-keys.

When I opened the front door, Edward was standing there looking at me with an expression of utter delight on his face. As I stepped out of the house, the moonlight fell on me and I began to sparkle. The dress, the jewels, even my shoes had sparkles in the heels, all of that looked stunning. But the most surprising thing was my skin: the bathwater that I'd been in, or the body lotion that Rose had covered me in, must have contained tiny pieces of glitter, because as soon as the moon hit me, I sparkled. I looked down at my arm and I was amazed: my skin looked just like Edward's. Edward sucked the air in through his teeth, it must have scared him to see me look so vampire-like. He didn't comment on it, though, he told me that I was 'a vision' and he escorted me to Rose's car, which was waiting right in front of the house. Without even grimacing, Edward held open the driver's door for me, though he must have been frustrated to know how slowly I was bound to drive this powerful car.

He was in the passenger seat before I'd even worked out how to turn on the engine. He watched me struggle for a bit, and then said softly, "I don't want to interfere, Bella, but, won't it be easier to get to where we're going if you start the engine?"

I was going to snap at him for being patronising, but then I realised that his hand was indicating a big red button.

"Really?" I asked.

Edward nodded.

"Why is Rose letting me drive her car? What is she going to do if I hurt it?"

"Have a lot of fun fixing it back up again," he said, "it is intended as a compliment that Rose is letting you use her car. You will really offend her if you refuse. She knows that you're human, so she'll be happy as long as you attempt to bring it back in one piece. She doesn't expect it to get through this experience unscathed."

I scowled at him. Then giggled when Rose shouted, "Edward, shut up!" from inside the house, loudly enough for me to hear.

He shrugged and sat back in his seat, pretending that he wasn't watching carefully and waiting to step in the instant I struggled to control the powerful engine. At the lightest touch on the gas, the car engine roared. I pulled out and drove neatly back down the Cullens' driveway.

"So, where are we going?"

He smiled and directed me smoothly. His voice would have sold a lot of Sat Navs. I was enjoying driving, listening to Edward's smooth, velvet tones warning me of the turns. I was utterly content. Rose's car was easy to drive, once I stopped worrying that it was going to take off. I had expected to be nervous of the car, but I hadn't expected to take pleasure in driving it. It was, however, rather thrilling to have control of such a powerful engine. It reminded me of the game we'd played, when I was ordering my powerful vampire around. Having all that strength under my control was exhilarating

"The red awning on the left," Edward said, at last, "pull up here."

As I pulled up, he sighed happily, "at last," he said, "I didn't know that it was possible to drive this car quite that slowly."

"Very funny, where do you want to park? We can't just abandon the car here."

He smirked, "I thought that I was the one who didn't live in this century. Why are you the one who doesn't know about valet parking?"

Valet parking? Great. I should have known that he'd want to go somewhere ridiculously fancy. Typical Edward.

Still, he hadn't gone anywhere since he'd got back from Italy, and he hadn't exactly been having fun for the eight months prior to that. It would be a terrible girlfriend who objected to being spoilt by Edward this evening. Instead I smiled at him and bit back my sarcastic remark about people who spent obscene amounts of money on over-priced food they weren't going to eat.

Edward jumped out of his seat and ran around to open my door. He managed to beat the valet to it, and was smiling smugly, as I stepped out of the car. The valet looked at me with such shock and surprise, that I dropped my head, blushing. I don't know what he was thinking. Maybe he was surprised that I was driving. Maybe he was surprised that a couple as young as us could afford this car and this restaurant. Maybe he was surprised that someone who looked like me had arrived in the same car as someone who looked like Edward. Whatever it was, I was embarrassed

A cool hand reached into mine and removed the car keys. Then I felt the same cool hand on the small of my back and Edward whispered in my ear, "shall we go inside, Bella?"

He steered me expertly through the reception of the restaurant, and into a comfortable booth. Keeping my gaze down, avoiding looking at any of the people who were really used to being in places like this, I watched the floor. The plush red carpet on the street gave way to a deep burgundy runner in the entrance-way, which soon turned into a deep golden floor when we entered the restaurant itself. Edward walked slowly, for him, but confidently, speaking to the waiter in a low voice. I sat down opposite him, and looked up at last, so that I could see his butterscotch eyes.

Fancy restaurants didn't make Edward uncomfortable, even though he never ate, he was very much at his ease. So, I was surprised to see that he was looking a bit unsure. "Are you really annoyed that I brought you here?" he asked.

"No. I mean, yes, it is absurdly expensive, but I'm reconciled to it, I think that you deserve a bit of a treat."

A smile flashed across his face briefly, probably laughing at the idea of a fancy restaurant being a treat for him, then his concerned look returned, "you're not happy, Bella," he said, "what are you thinking about?"

"Oh," I felt the heat rise on my cheeks again, "I just feel a bit out of place. You must have seen the look that the guy doing the valet parking gave me. He could tell that I didn't belong here and that I don't belong with you."

"Actually," Edward replied, "I know exactly what the valet was thinking."

"Tell me."

He considered this for a few moments, then he gave a to-hell-with-it shrug (which, I guess, from Edward is really a 'to-heck-with-it shrug') and said "he was amazed by how gorgeous you looked and was trying to work out if he recognised you from a movie. He thought that you looked too 'together' to be a singer or a model, but he couldn't remember a single film that he'd seen you in, and he was sure that he wouldn't forget a face, or a figure like yours" Edward grimaced slightly, at the remembrance of another man noticing my body. Then he continued, "of course, there is nobody with a face or a figure like yours. You are uniquely beautiful, so he shouldn't have wasted his time, trying to decide whom you resemble."

"Are you trying to make me feel better?"

"Sort of," Edward picked up his menu, opened it, then put it back down again, "but, that is what the guy was thinking. I wish that you knew how stunning you look tonight. Sometimes I wish that you knew what other men thought of you. Well, not the details, that would be horrifying, but the broad brush strokes"

"What are you going to order?" I was only trying to make him laugh, but Edward took my question seriously and began discussing the courses on offer. Perhaps someone was listening to our conversation, and he was trying to convince them that he was a normal, food-consuming human.

After a lot of discussion, I chose the soup to start, and Edward chose scallops. For our main courses, I went for lamb, which made Edward laugh, and he chose aubergine and halloumi kebabs. I was a bit surprised that Edward wouldn't chose to eat meat, but he pulled a face at all the domestic animals that were on offer. I guess he would never consider hunting chickens, sheep or cows, and so he wasn't happy eating them, either. Of course, he wasn't actually going to eat any of the food he ordered, but that didn't stop Edward being picky.

"Do your family eat fish?" I asked Edward, when his scallops arrived.

"No, Bella," he said, "fish are too small."

"Sharks are pretty big. You can swim, can't you?" I remembered the fiery hair flashing through the sea.

Edward nodded, "we're good swimmers" he said, "but, we don't hunt sharks." He pulled such a disgusted face when he said that, I couldn't help giggling at him.

My soup was lovely, creamy and spicy parsnip soup. Edward enjoyed feeding me his scallops. He'd ordered them partly because I'd never eaten them before, and partly because the restaurant was famous for them. I was impressed with his choice. The scallops were meaty and soft, really good. They were drizzled with a sweet chilli sauce.

After staring at me for long enough to make me wonder whether I'd got sauce dribbling down my chin, Edward said "you look beautiful when you eat." I couldn't really ask him to stop staring at me after that. It would have been cruel.

"Talking of which, has Emmett made me that movie yet?"

Knowing Edward, he had probably hoped that I would forget all about Emmett's promise to film him hunting. Reminding him when we were alone was probably a bad move. I should have waited until we were with his family, so that I'd have back up.

To my surprise, he actually grinned at me, "yes, Emmett's made his movie. We're waiting for you to come and watch it."

"I thought that you wouldn't want me to."

"Do you remember what you said after Emmett's last demonstration?" I nodded, and Edward went on "I agree with you. If you're going to become more involved with my family, you should probably see exactly what that entails."

"Are you still waiting for the running and screaming?"

"I'm still trying to change your mind," he smiled, trying to fool me into thinking that he was joking, but I knew that he was deadly serious.

"You can try," I said.

As soon as we'd finished our starters, our main courses arrived. Edward's vegetarian meal was surprisingly good.

"Why don't you hunt lamb or chicken or cows?" I asked him, reminded of his distaste when I'd suggested that he ordered a meat dish.

"Are you asking me why my family don't hunt domestic animals?" Edward smothered a laugh, "I don't think that the owners of those animals would be particularly impressed."

We both laughed at the idea of Edward's family becoming sheep-rustlers and getting chased around the countryside by irate farmers waving pitchforks.

That wasn't what I'd seen in his expression, however. "You pulled a grossed-out face," I told him, "what's wrong with lamb?"

"I don't believe that I can look 'grossed-out'" Edward said primly, making me giggle again, "I may have seemed somewhat revolted. That would be because herbivores don't taste as good as predators. Besides which, hunting lambs wouldn't exactly be sporting."

"Is that a concern?" I had never considered the Cullens to be animal-lovers. The image of Alice and Rosalie cuddling little baby lambs, made me giggle. Then I thought about Carlisle and Edward seriously discussing ways of making their hunting fairer on the animals. I pictured the whole family sitting down and drawing up a 'sporting-hunting' charter. They might have a handicap system, similar to golf, to even up the playing field a bit.

"Of course," Edward looked very serious, "we do take our duty seriously."

"What duty?"

"We have a duty towards the animals that we hunt. We are careful to respect them, not to hunt the young, not to over-hunt in any area, and not to cause unnecessary suffering." Being a 'vegetarian' vampire was a moral choice. So I shouldn't have been surprised to hear that they had thought about ways to minimise the harm that they caused to their prey. "I think it's similar to the utilisation of humane farming techniques," he offered.

I wasn't entirely sure that free-range eggs were quite the same thing as not leaping on lambs and sucking out their blood. It was probably not a conversation that I was fully equipped to have, however. Right now, I had only very vague ideas about what it was like when Edward and his family hunted. Perhaps, after I'd seen Emmett's movie, I would have more to contribute.

"So who drew up the charter?" I asked.

The only response was an extremely confused expression. "Oh," I said, remembering, "that was something that I thought and not something that I said aloud. When you mentioned being 'sporting' in your hunting, I imagined you and Carlisle drawing up a charter to describe how you would hunt. I was wondering if that really happened."

"Not exactly. One of the benefits of perfect memories is that we need not write down our agreements in order to ensure that we all recall them. You were right to assume that our beliefs have grown out of conversation, though. We have all discussed our way of life many times, both as a family and in smaller groups."

"Do you all agree?"

"Broadly," Edward smirked, "you have seen that my family rarely agree completely about anything. But, you have also seen that we are usually capable of making compromises that allow us to live with one another."

That was true, and really quite surprising. Most teenagers couldn't wait to get out from under their parents' roof. Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were eternal teenagers and yet they rarely bothered to set up homes on their own. They could all easily afford separate houses, but they chose to live together almost all the time. They must be incredibly good at compromising.

"I'm not sure that I'll be quite as easy to live with," I said, a new worry suddenly occurring to me, "what would happen if I couldn't live comfortably with the rest of your family?"

"We'd move out," Edward said, as though it was a matter of no moment to him at all, "we'd set up a home of our own."

"Wouldn't that be sad for you? You haven't lived apart from your family since . . ." I trailed off, realising that the only times Edward had lived alone had been when he was suffering. He had rebelled and lived alone in those years when he was more vampire than man. He had lived alone when he had left me. He had only lived alone in misery and despair. How could I ask him to leave his family again?

He seemed to read my thoughts from my face, he looked down at the table, still ashamed of his past. He still thought that his rebellious period and his time away from me were things that I should condemn. He seemed to think that those moments when he had struggled made him less worthy of my love and admiration.

"I don't have a good track record of living alone," he admitted, "but I wouldn't be alone. I would be with you. We wouldn't have to live alone, anyway. If you were unhappy living with my entire family, I'm sure that we could find a combination that suited. We could share with Jasper and Alice. Then you wouldn't have to worry about my slipping."

I reached out and smacked his arm lightly, "don't be silly," I said "I'm not worried about you 'slipping'. I'm worried that you would miss your family. You've never chosen to live away from them before."

"I've never had anywhere to go before."

Living with Alice and Jasper would be fun. It would be like going away to college. I wondered if we could do that. We could rent a big house: me and Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. That would have a different vibe to the house that they all lived in currently. "Do you think," I asked slowly, "that we will rearrange things sometimes? It sounds like it could be a lot of fun to house-share with Alice and Jasper."

Edward frowned and I thought that he was going to object, but instead he pulled his phone from his pocket. "I said that they shouldn't disturb us with anything that wasn't important," he explained, "I ought to check." He read his text message, then slid the phone across the table to me, rolling his eyes as he did so.

'Don't moan, this is important. We'd love to live with you, but it won't happen for another twenty years, or so. And, Bella is NOT allowed to choose curtains ever.' It was, of course, from Alice.

I laughed, "there's never any privacy in your family, is there?" I said.

He gave me a nervous look, "do you mind that?" he asked, "I know that it's very different to the way in which your family works."

"I like it. I'm looking forward to having a big family."

I'd thought that I was reassuring Edward, but instead I seemed to have confirmed one of his more pessimistic hypotheses. He sighed and looked down at the table. In a quiet, little boy voice, he said, "is it the family that you want, rather than me? I mean, I do understand that things between us have changed since I . . . betrayed you and left you. Do you want me as a brother now, rather than anything else? Is that why you don't want to marry me?"

"Ugh! No, I do not think of you as a brother. Yuck! I um . . . I want to do very non-fraternal things with you."

He looked up, which made no sense. How could it be a surprise to him that I had strong feelings of lust for him as well as love?

"You still have those feelings for me?" he asked, "I thought that they might have faded, now that you can pull away from kisses and don't keep trying to push my boundaries any more"

"They're _our _boundaries," I said, "we both need them in order to stay safe. I wouldn't mind pushing them with you. Maybe we could mutually agree to try and go a bit further . . ." I trailed off when I saw his expression. Edward did not look like a seventeen year-old whose girlfriend had suggested that she might be ready to go further. He ought to be happy and enthusiastic. Instead he looked miserable and threatened. "What's wrong?" I asked, "do you no longer desire me in that way?"

"It's not that. That's not it at all. I desire you ardently. It's just that I have a more, well, old-fashioned view of intimate relationships between men and women. I was brought up to believe that certain things belonged within the confines of marriage. It's hard for me to imagine that anything outside marriage would be possible. I don't want to treat you with even a hint of disrespect."

If he could have blushed, I bet that Edward would have been as red as me by now. Despite everything that we'd been through, we were both still nervous teenagers when it came to sex. I went red every time I thought of the word 'sex' when I was in the same room as Edward, let alone thinking about it in the same sentence. That was irritating. My mum had always said that I should never have sex with someone until I could talk to them about sex. She said that if you didn't know someone well enough to talk to them then you didn't know them well enough to sleep with them.

Well, I knew Edward well. And I trusted him and I was sure that I was ready to take our physical relationship on to the next level. All I needed to do in order to prove it to myself was to talk to him about it. This, however, was definitely not the right place.

"Do you have further plans for this evening?"

Edward grinned, "yes," he said, keeping his answer short so that I couldn't guess anything.

I grinned back, if he was enjoying keeping secrets, let's see how good he was. "Do your plans involve us having a bit of alone-time?" I asked.

His grin widened, "maybe," he said.

"Good, we need to have a talk."

His grin faded, "that doesn't sound good for me. Is this 'talk' going to resemble the 'chat' we had the other day?"

"Maybe," I mimicked him, and giggled at his confused expression.

"In that case," he said, "I'm going to put off our talk for as long as I can. Won't you have some dessert?"

A lot of girls worry about what they eat in front of their boyfriends, but everything that I ate seemed disgusting to Edward, so there was no point in my trying to look dainty by eating nothing but green salads. The advantage of that was that I could eat chocolate brownie sundaes without worrying that he thought I was a greedy pig. Edward thought that I ate barely anything because I didn't eat several deer at a sitting. He easily persuaded me to have dessert at the restaurant, and even to linger over coffee and mints.

Finally, there was nothing left for me to eat and Edward had to give in. I'm pretty sure that he had only been kidding about putting off our talk; he paid quickly and seemed almost eager by the time he was steering me back to the entrance of the restaurant.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I have never claimed to have written the 'Twilight' series, only to have read and enjoyed it.

Author's Note: I think I'm getting my time-line a little confused now. It must be nearly time for the big vampire attack. So, we'll have one more nice chapter, then we'll get ready to fight. I am very excited about that bit!

Rose's car was sat there waiting for us. Edward gave it one short longing look before he held the driver's door open for me, forcing me to ask if he'd driven it before.

He shook his head, "even Emmett isn't allowed to drive Rose's car," he said, "she really is honouring you. Won't you at least drive at the speed limit?"

"I don't want to hurt Rose's car."

"She won't mind at all. She'd be more upset to think that you forced her baby to crawl along at this pace. I wish I could drive."

I giggled, "poor Edward," I said, he frowned.

"I didn't mean that" he said, "I have no right to complain."

Great. Now he was going to start feeling guilty again.

"You can direct," I told him, "where are we going?"

He gave me directions in a monotone voice. He was miserable again. He'd been thinking about his driving ban and how he'd earned it. I wondered if he was going to survive another two months of being grounded.

We drove around for a while before I began to recognise roads. We came to a cross-roads that I thought I remembered, and took a left. The next time we came to the cross-roads we took a right. That was when I realised that we were going around in circles. I turned to Edward and glared at him, "what are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm directing."

"I was expecting you to direct us _to _somewhere, not around and around. What are you trying to do?"

"Confuse you, so that you don't guess where we're going."

I sighed, "fine," I said, "it's worked. I am confused and I have no idea where we're going. Now, will you tell me how to get there, please?"

Whether it was my request or whether he had already decided that he had confused me enough, I don't know. But, Edward did stop taking us in circles and directed me to the middle of nowhere. He asked me to pull over onto a dirt track and park the car. I did so, slightly surprised. "There's nothing here," I said.

"That's alright, this isn't where we're stopping. We're going to walk the rest of the way."

"Edward, have you seen the shoes that I'm wearing?"

He smirked at me, I guess his sulk was completely over now, sometimes his moods changed so fast they made my head spin. "I suppose that my last statement wasn't quite accurate," he said, "_I'm_ going to walk the rest of the way; you're going to be carried."

"Not wanting to ruin your great plan, but I'm not jumping up on your back in this dress."

He smirked again and, instead of replying, swept me up into his arms bridal-style. Then, he took off at a run. I snuggled my cheek against his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. This was a nice way of being carried. I looked up to see if Edward was enjoying it too, and saw that he was staring intently at my face.

"Hey!" I shouted, "look where you're going!"

Edward laughed at me and leaned over to kiss me, without slowing down at all.

The kiss had its usual, disorientating effect. I couldn't think of anything and completely forgot my concerns about Edward running into a tree. Completely forgot, that is, until he stopped running and set me down on my feet.

I turned and gave him a perfect glare. "You could have hurt me," I said, "just because you can run through walls, doesn't mean that you should be reckless when I'm with you. Why didn't you look where you were going?"

He grinned again. I don't think that he'd realised how scared I'd been, "I knew where I was going," he said, "I swear that you were never in any danger. I would never run into anything, especially not while I was carrying you. And, I'm not sure that I can run through walls, I think it would depend on the material and the construction method of the wall in question. I'm sure that Emmett would enjoy experimenting for you."

"Considering how eager you are for me to remain human, I would expect you to give my human nature a bit more consideration."

He hung his head, "yes, Bella," he said meekly, "I'm sorry."

He looked up at me through his eyelashes, probably trying to get himself out of trouble again. I smiled, I wasn't really that annoyed, I just wanted to ensure that he looked where he was going next time. I didn't think my heart could take so much excitement.

"Next time you carry me, you will look where you're going, alright?"

"It isn't necessary . . ." he began, but then he changed his mind and said, "yes, Bella," instead.

"You're forgiven." I stood up on tip-toes and gave him a kiss, to prove that he was back in my good graces. He kissed me back with enthusiasm, until I pulled away for a bit of air.

"Come on," I said, "surely you have something to show me? You can't have dragged me all the way out here for nothing."

He smiled shyly, "actually," he admitted, "I've just got to put the finishing touches to something. It's nothing incredible, certainly it's a lot less than you deserve, but I'm hoping that this will please you. Do you mind waiting for just one minute?"

I shook my head and, after one quick peck on the cheek, Edward was gone.

Instantly my phone rang, I laughed and answered it, "hello, Alice."

"I thought that I would help out by distracting you," she said, "if you try and follow Edward to spy on him, you'll wind up lost in the woods."

"I wasn't going to wander off looking for Edward," I said.

Alice laughed, "really? If you say so, Bella."

"So, are you watching us?"

"No, not really. I'm watching to be sure that he gets you home safe and unharmed. I saw that you were arguing about you having got lost in the woods and ruining Edward's surprise, so I thought that I'd call and prevent you wandering off."

"Alright, can you try not to watch us for the next hour or so? I would really appreciate a bit of privacy."

"You're outside, Bella, what are you planning on doing? Well, just keep your clothes on, so that you don't catch cold. I guess that doesn't go for Edward though, you can make him strip if you like."

"Alice!" I was shocked by her suggestion, I had not thought about anything of the sort. I just wanted to have a serious conversation.

She giggled again, "wow," she said, "that has to be a first. You sound really shocked, so those visions must be from Edward's half-formed plans and not yours. That's a bit of a surprise. When my little brother gets back to you, will you tell him from me that he has developed a very dirty mind?"

I laughed, "maybe," I said "I think that I'd be interested to know what his half-formed plans are."

Alice instantly changed the subject. "Oh, while I've got you," she went on, "if you asked then you could persuade Carlisle and Esme to reduce Edward's sentence. But, I'm not sure that you really want to. Charlie would be very upset and it would take him longer to start trusting Edward again."

I frowned, I had been thinking about talking to Edward's parents. Two months seemed like a long time for him to continue to suffer.

"Two months isn't a long time for us," Alice said, spying into my mind. I wondered whether she did that using her knowledge of the future, or merely her knowledge of me, maybe they were the same thing. Maybe knowing other people well was Alice's real gift and it only looked like knowledge of the future because she used her understanding of those she loved to predict where their natures would take them. "He will be alright, I promise. Nobody would make him do this, if we thought that it would really hurt him."

I knew that was true. Edward's family loved him as much as I did, even if they didn't love him in the same way as I did. Jasper had told me how concerned they were about the changes in Edward's behaviour. Carlisle thought that meeting a mate changed vampires forever, and they didn't want Edward to be moody and out-of-control forever. They wanted him nearby, where they could keep an eye on him. And Jasper was determined to help Edward regain control of his emotions. What they were doing with him at the moment seemed cruel, but they really did believe that this was going to help Edward in the long run.

"I know that," I said to Alice, "I just don't like seeing him unhappy."

Alice laughed, "well, be careful," she said, "remember that it's sometimes best for him to be unhappy for a little while. You can't give him everything he wants every time he pouts at you."

"Alright," I said.

"Really, Bella," Alice pressed, "don't agree just because he pouts. It won't turn out well if you do. Oh, there's no point, nothing that I say is going to help. Still, you can't say that I didn't warn you. Bye, Bella, Edward's on his way back to you."

"Bye Alice," just as I hung up the phone, Edward appeared in front of me.

He looked rather proud of himself.

"You have to close your eyes," he said.

I groaned, "you do remember that I hate surprises, right?"

"I remember that you said I could spoil you tonight," he said.

I sighed, but I closed my eyes. I didn't mind that he scooped me up in his arms again. I really liked being carried like this, nuzzled against his chest, breathing in his wonderful sweet scent. Maybe, while he wasn't driving, I should encourage him to carry me around instead. It's not as though he would get tired out.

Gently, Edward set me back down on my feet, standing himself on my right, holding my hand. "You can open your eyes, now," he said cheerfully.

Nervously, I opened them.

What I saw was amazing. We were in our meadow, but it looked completely different. There was a pagoda in the centre, with fairy lights all over the roof. There were more fairy lights in all the trees all around the edges. It was glittering and beautiful, like our own private star system.

"Oh," I gasped out in shock, "it's beautiful."

Edward was thrilled, "you're happy?" he checked.

"Yes, Edward, I'm happy."

He let go of my hand – which didn't seem like an improvement – then he skipped (yes, it surprised me too, but he really did) over to the pagoda and pressed some buttons, causing music to play softly.

"I didn't think that you would appreciate live music," he explained, "since it would require musicians, and I know that you like privacy."

I smiled and nodded. The music sounded perfect to me, it was a gentle waltz.

Edward took me by the waist and the hand and pulled me into a flawless dance. I had already discovered that it was easy to be graceful when dancing with Edward. In fact, though I wasn't ready to admit it to him yet, dancing with Edward was pretty fantastic. I loved it when he held me so close and I loved the feeling of being graceful, which I only got when I danced with Edward. We span around and around, it was so easy and smooth, it was like being another person, not my usual clumsy self.

"You're beautiful," he whispered as we danced around, "I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered back, "this was a wonderful surprise."

He leant over and kissed my throat, making me sigh with pleasure.

"Thank you so much," he said, "for enjoying this evening and letting me make a little bit of a fuss of you."

I laughed. Poor Edward, I had really been cruel to him in refusing to accept gifts or expensive dates. He was absurdly grateful to me for allowing him to take me out.

"I ought to be thanking you," I said.

"Please don't," Edward whispered softly, "I can't accept thanks for doing something that I enjoy this much. Thank you for letting me dance with you."

I interrupted him with a kiss. All of this thanking each other was getting ridiculous. Edward took my hint and shut up. He danced me around, twirled me and dipped me. We danced all the way through three songs, then I began to get tired. Edward noticed my feet dragging and me leaning on him a little more, and he brought the dancing to a close.

"You're tired," he said, "we should sit."

He carried me into the pagoda, which I realised for the first time was piled with cushions and blankets. They were golden and purple, giving a rich sumptuous feel. They were soft and wonderful, Edward arranged them into a nest and settled us down together, cuddled up under a carefully arranged blanket.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked.

"Of course I am, this is lovely. You've thought of everything."

He stretched out in his cat-like way of showing his delight. "I try to please you," he said.

"Will it ruin the moment if I start our serious talk now?"

He tightened his grip on me slightly, "I am, as always, at your disposal," he said softly.

I giggled, "this isn't a bad talk," I said.

"I'm not getting scolded?"

I twisted around to look him in the eye, "have you done something for which I ought to be scolding you?"

"Not intentionally," he said.

He was so adorable right then: looking sweet and loving and vulnerable. I couldn't really understand what had happened to Edward over the last eight months, how he had become so soft and vulnerable, but I liked it. I liked him being more open with his feelings. I liked knowing that he cared about me. It wasn't that I wanted to hurt him, but knowing that I could hurt him was comforting, it meant that I really mattered. I kissed him on the forehead and enjoyed seeing him smile. That was even better than knowing that I could hurt him: knowing that I could make him superlatively happy.

"You said the other day that I was due another training session, is that what this is about?"

I shook my head, "stop guessing. I'll tell you. I want to talk about our sex life," I said, figuring that it would be best if I just blurted it out. At least then we could be embarrassed together and I wouldn't have to bear it alone.

I blushed bright red right away of course, and Edward looked at me rather quizzically. "Do we have one?" he asked.

"You said that you wanted to marry me. Sex is usually a part of marriage."

"That is true. It is also true that you said you wanted to become a vampire. I would never consider consummating the marriage unless you were a lot less fragile."

"You're reconciled to the idea of my change, then?"

"Not at all. I only said that I wouldn't consider making love to you right now, not that I was looking forward to seeing you lose your soul."

I snorted and he looked a little bit hurt. "Well, stop being so silly," I told him, "we both know that you're not absolutely certain that you don't have a soul. Remember that you thought you were in heaven when I pushed you over in Italy?"

"I may have a tiny sliver of uncertainty about the matter," he admitted slowly, "but that really isn't worth gambling your soul. The most likely situation is that I am eternally damned. You can't really be suggesting that I should risk your salvation on the off-chance."

I frowned, "you think that Carlisle is damned?" I asked him, irritated now, "and Esme and Alice? Is that really what you think?"

He looked desperately sad and, suddenly, very, very old, I thought that I could see every one of his 103 years on his face, "yes," he said extremely quietly, "and I cannot wish that on you. I'm sorry."

This wasn't really what I wanted to talk about, of course. We'd had enough conversations about my soul to last me a lifetime (possibly enough to last me eternity). I wanted to talk about sex and here I was distracted into yet another deep and meaningful discussion of my change. I shook my head to clear it and signal a change of subject.

"That isn't the point," I said, "the point is that we have a relationship and you want to take it further and I want to take it further. You think that we should get married and I'm not comfortable marrying someone whom I've never even seen naked."

There was a pause. Edward seemed lost for words.

Thinking about it, that last sentence hadn't exactly come out the way in which I intended it to. Still, that was partly his fault. He hadn't been helping the conversation along.

Finally, he spoke, "would you marry me if I took my clothes off?" he kept his voice steady, sounding a note of polite enquiry. But his eyes were laughing at me.

That was annoying. I'd intended to have a sensible, mature and loving discussion about this, and he was laughing at me. He could see that I was bright red and struggling to talk and he thought it was funny. I was mad. So, I decided to call his bluff.

"Yes," I said, smirking.

I thought that he would be embarrassed in return. I thought that he would drop his head and look up through his lashes in that adorable way of his.

That isn't what he did.

In a flash he was stood in front of me, completely naked and grinning from ear to ear.

He moved so fast that it was scary. I knew that vampires were fast, but this was bizarre.

The grin was also slightly confusing. I mean, obviously he'd won a bit of a point. But, he was the one standing in the middle of a forest, wearing nothing at all. What was he grinning about?

"I've brought the ring," he said, "will you wear it? No, wait," Edward back-pedalling, this was new, "let me ask you again, properly."

He dropped to one knee and a ring appeared in his hand.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I love you and I would do anything for you. I already belong to you entirely. Will you do me the immeasurable honour of making my tie to you official? Will you consent to have me as your husband?"

Ah, that explained the grin. I had thought that I was winning a point. He thought that I was agreeing to marry him.

He wanted me to marry him so badly that he would do literally anything I asked. He hadn't even thought twice about stripping for me. Usually, he was so shy and so careful to keep propriety and boundaries intact. But, he saw a chance at my accepting his proposal and he took it.

Wow. He must really love me.

I certainly loved him.

It was a very sweet proposal: half traditional and half absurd. Romantic and silly. Ancient and childish. The old-fashioned words, down on one knee, in our meadow, surrounded by sparkling lights, with Edward's naked skin glittering. It was so clean and it was so, well, dirty at the same time.

"Yes", the word was out of my mouth before I had absolutely decided upon saying it.

"Thank you," he looked so gloriously happy. It was a very nice feeling, making someone I loved so much so very, very happy. Maybe that's why girls accept proposals. To be so wanted, it's very flattering. How can anyone resist such desire?

"I don't want to push my luck," he said, in his little boy voice, "do you want to look at the ring? Will you wear it, just to check it fits?"

"I'm not ready to wear an engagement ring, Edward."

"Sorry," he snapped the box shut, "I should have guessed that."

"I'll try it on," I said, feeling a little guilty. This was his big moment and I was ruining it. "If you would like me to, I'll try the ring on. I just don't want to walk around wearing it, yet. Let's get through the whole 'we're all going to die a horrible death at the hands of an army of newborn vampires' thing out of the way before we give ourselves an engagement to worry about."

His face lit up again, "may I?" he asked, and his eyes were filled with longing. Who would have thought that any guy could ever be so desperate to get a ring on his girlfriend's finger?

I nodded, because it was nice to make him happy. I let him slip the ring onto my finger. To be honest, I was glad that he did it, I wasn't quite sure which finger was supposed to hold an engagement ring. Turns out you wear it on the same finger as a wedding ring, which makes sense.

He stared at my hand rapturously, and I risked a quick glance, only to wish that I hadn't. The stone was huge. It was glittery and expensive looking. Seeing it on my hand was terrifying. I slid it off and passed it back to Edward. He gave it a quick glance (perhaps it was a longing look at vampire speed) before he shut it back in its box and put it away.

"How much did that thing cost you?" I gasped, again without really thinking.

He winced, "it was my mother's" he said, "I thought that you would appreciate something of more sentimental than cash value. But, I can get another if you would prefer."

"Your mother's?" I was surprised. I was sure that he couldn't have much that belonged to his mother. After all this time, and after all the moving around he had done, how could he have kept much? "You've kept your mother's ring all this time, and now you want to just give it away?"

"To you," he said softly, "I would like very much to give it to you."


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: this is a re-write of 'Twilight', I don't have any right to do it, but it is fun.

Last Time: "Your mother's?" I was surprised. "You've kept your mother's ring all this time, and now you want to just give it away?"

"To you," he said softly, "I would like very much to give it to you."

"I am very flattered that you would chose to give me your mother's engagement ring. When I am ready to wear an engagement ring, this will be the one I wear. I promise. Can you wait for me to let the whole thing sink in first?"

He nodded, "it's entirely up to you. If you never want to wear a ring, that's fine with me. We won't be able to keep the whole engagement a secret, though, um . . . my family have a way of working things out. When I get back near the house, Jasper will notice the change in my feelings."

I scowled. When I told him that I wasn't ready to wear an engagement ring I meant that I wasn't ready to be publicly engaged. "Could you try and hide it?" I said, "do you _have_ to tell everyone?"

He smirked at me, "you'll understand when you live with them," he said, "it really isn't possible to keep big secrets from Jasper or Alice."

I filed that away to think about later. I didn't want to consider all the things that I wouldn't be able to keep from Alice.

"Will Alice have seen, um . . . everything?"

He frowned, "I hope not," he said, on this occasion he had more reason than I did for wanting to avoid Alice's all-seeing eyes. "She hasn't called to discuss your dress yet, so I would guess that she doesn't know. Alice is very slightly obsessed with your wedding dress. She started hurling visions of it at me before she even met you! Hopefully she wasn't watching us tonight. We can't hide the fact that we're engaged, though. We'll have to tell them that you accepted my proposal."

That was true. I didn't want it to be a secret forever, anyway, I just wanted a little bit of time to accept it myself before I had to share this with other people. "When we tell your family this story, can we pretend that you were still in your suit?"

"I would very much appreciate that," he said, smiling again, "which does rather beg the question: may I dress again? I wasn't sure exactly what you wanted me to do."

I giggled, what could be nicer than a naked Edward smiling at me and asking me exactly what I wanted him to do?

He glared at me, somehow carrying off a lot more dignity that I would manage to achieve whilst naked, "did you accept my proposal of marriage because of your raging teenage hormones?"

"Of course not! I don't think that you understand me yet. Physical intimacy isn't just about lust. I do have those feelings towards you, of course I do. But the reason I keep pushing to go further and have a fuller physical relationship is much more important. It's about trust. Getting naked together, being fully vulnerable with one another, it's an important step in any relationship. I want to take that step of absolute trust. I want to be with you without any clothing or any pretences. I want to really get to know you. And, I want you to get to know me."

"I'm sorry. You're right when you say that I don't understand. That just isn't the attitude that was taught to me when I was a child and it isn't the attitude that my family show today. I can't help thinking of physical intimacy as an imposition on a woman. I don't want to be disrespectful towards you."

"And I don't want you to hold back from me."

He nodded. "I realise that I've been absurd. It can't possibly be more respectful to disregard your wishes. There are other things to be considered, of course. I could kill you. We'll have to be incredibly careful and we'll have to build up slowly."

"You're changing your mind?"

He shook his head, "not exactly. I've always been entirely at your service. You've just asked me to do something new. Before you were asking me to risk your life in order to scratch an itch. It was too big a risk for too small a pay-off Now you're asking me to let our relationship progress to the next level by doing something that's important to you."

"I'm asking you to do the same thing that I asked you to do a year ago."

"But you've explained a new and more satisfying reason for wanting me to comply."

"Are you saying that, had I explained this to you a year ago, you would have given in then?"

Images flashed through my mind, like the final pictures of a drowning woman. I couldn't avoid picturing what might have been, had I been able to phrase the question properly before now. The summer that we could have spent, lying in the sun, his cool body pressed against mine. The swimming we could have done. The cuddling in front of fires. The experimenting with warming gels and electric blankets.

Had I known the right words to say, I could already be familiar with the taste of him. I might know whether his chest was as smooth as it looked. I might have already traced my tongue around those paths that his rib-cage made on his chest, followed them to the end of the line. I might have already felt his thighs clasped around my waist, or his hair against the sensitive skin on the back of my knee.

What sweet moments I had missed. How I wished that I had known the magic words earlier.

Edward, irritating vampire, quirked his eyebrow at my glazed eyes. "You couldn't have told me a year ago that our relationship had now progressed to a point where you felt that by maintaining artificial boundaries I was holding part of myself back from you. It wouldn't have made sense a year ago, but now it does."

He grinned boyishly and added "I'm also rather more chastened than I was a year ago. I am now painfully aware of how often you're right and I'm wrong. That makes me rather more likely to accede to your wishes."

"Wow. This is amazing. I've seen you naked, and you're admitting that I'm often right. I wasn't expecting this to go so well. What do we do next?"

He didn't laugh. Instead he looked slightly nervous, as if he was expecting me to leap at him here and now, and commence exploring his most intimate areas. He took a step back, and actually held up his hands in surrender. I had never before thought of my sexual desire as a kind of weapon.

"Would you mind if I took a bit of time to think? There are quite a few different things that couples do and um . . . I think that it would be best if our first attempts at greater intimacy were . . . um . . . planned. I need to make sure that I don't lose control, so it would probably be better if we knew exactly what we were going to do, and I prepared for it. I'm not confident enough to risk spontaneous intimacy."

"You would like to write a script first?"

He grimaced, "I'm sorry," he said, "it's just that I can't be like a human boyfriend. I have to keep a tighter reign on my instincts."

"Actually, it sounds kind of sexy. Can I have editing rights?"

Didn't he know that anticipation is half of the fun? To read a description, in Edward's beautiful script (come on, he wasn't going to type this), of precisely what he wanted to do to me; then, to run through it with a blue pencil, make a little adjustment here, add a little nibble there; that would make any situation a hundred times more delicious.

"Whatever you wish. Am I allowed to put my clothes back on now?"

"Of course, have you been standing there waiting for permission? I'm sorry, I didn't think about it. Are you cold?"

He shook his head slightly, "I didn't want to risk you withdrawing your acceptance of my hand."

"Get dressed so that I can kiss you. Try not to worry too much. I love you and I want to be with you forever, so I'm not going to change my mind about marrying you."

The big grin was back on his face in an instant and his clothes were replaced almost as fast. He curled up next to me and took his promised kiss. To be truthful, he took more than the one kiss that I had promised him. But he returned just as many, so I think that I broke even.

It was a perfect moment, I was snuggled on soft pillows, with my breathtaking boyfriend in my arms. Then, as I always did during perfect moments, I ruined it by being that little bit too human. Edward pulled away from kissing my lips to let his mouth trail down my arm, and I yawned hugely. I tried to cover it up, but you can't conceal things from your vampire boyfriend. He panicked that he'd kept me out far too long, scooped me up and ran us back to the car.

Being in his arms was less blissful this time, because I knew that we were soon going to be apart again and I couldn't help wishing that he wasn't rushing to take me home. Edward seemed less happy too, he asked me several times if I was alright to drive and seemed quite distressed that he had allowed me to get tired. I tried to explain that my tiredness was no fault of his, it was a natural side-effect of humanity, but I was unsuccessful. At least he didn't complain at the speed of my driving.

There was, to my surprise, nobody waiting on the steps for us when we returned to the Cullens' house. I dropped off Edward and the car, returned to my truck and drove myself home. I really wasn't too tired. It had been a perfect date. I fell asleep still content in the knowledge that I was engaged to the perfect guy.

I woke up to a full blown panic attack.

I had got engaged last night!

It was ridiculous, absurd, stupid. I couldn't believe I'd done it. It was so unlike me. A glimmer of light shone through the panic: maybe I hadn't done it.

After all, if I was really engaged, wouldn't Alice be on the phone already, trying to plan the wedding? If I was really engaged, wouldn't my mum have sensed it from Phoenix and driven over here to demand that I came to my senses? I was in my bed, the phone wasn't ringing, my parents weren't yelling. There was no way that I could be engaged. I must have dreamt it.

As I began to think along these lines, I realised how sensible that really was. The date had been utterly perfect: Edward had been sweet, and flexible, and naked. There was no way that really happened. I could never be that lucky. I dreamt the date and I dreamt the engagement. Secure in my new-found knowledge, I got up and dressed.

It was Sunday today, and I had no plans yet. I was hoping that I would be able to spend a full day with Edward, but I wasn't really sure of the terms of his 'night release'. Maybe he would be expected to pay back the time in some way. As I made, ate and washed up my breakfast, I considered calling Edward, then Alice, then Rose, then Edward, then Rose, then Alice again. Then I wondered if I ought to go to a more official channel and just call Jasper. I didn't want to ask to see Edward and then get him into trouble if he was supposed to be spending the day home alone, making up for the evening he'd spent out. But, I didn't want him to be offended if I called Jasper, as though I saw Edward as a small child who couldn't make his own plans for the day.

Just as I was beginning another round of debate with myself, my mobile rang and Alice said, "stop it, you're giving me a headache. Are you calling, or not?"

I laughed, "well, I don't need to now," I told her, "since you just called me. Are you doing anything today?"

"That's not what you want to know. Yes, you can come and see Edward, and he won't mind that you talked to me rather than him. He's having second thoughts about showing you our home movie, but that's Emmett's fault. Well, Emmett's and yours and, in a round about way, mine, I suppose. You're still going to see the movie, though, and it'll all work out for the best."

"Um . . . ok," I said. It was difficult to know what to say to Alice sometimes. It was a bit like being expected to comment on a weather report. She seemed so sure of what she was forecasting and I had no way of seeing how right she was. She could be pretty cryptic at times, too. I guess she didn't want to give me too many clues in case I changed a future that she wanted to see. Still, there was nothing that I could do about that, and she normally seemed to be on my side. So it was best just to accept her advice and wait to see what was really going to happen.

Alice giggled and said, "alright, Bella, since you slept so badly, I'll come over and get you. I would have come right away, but you seemed kind of freaked out if I came without talking to you first. I'll see you in ten minutes."

"Ok, bye Alice."

"Bye, Bella."

She rang off and instantly my phone beeped to show that I'd received a text message.

'Good morning, Bella.

I haven't told anyone what you said last night.

Alice doesn't know yet.

I thought that you would appreciate knowing this before you came over,

so that you wouldn't panic.

If you've changed your mind,

I will understand,

please don't hide from me.

Edward.'

So it was true, I was engaged to Edward. Somehow it didn't seem quite so scary now that it was definitely real. I knew that I didn't want to back out of it. I knew that, though it was a huge commitment and pretty daunting, it was what I wanted. I wanted Edward forever.

To my slight surprise (I guess I didn't know myself as well as I thought). The text message didn't make me feel panicked at all. It made me feel sad. I was sad to see how insecure Edward still was, even after I'd accepted his proposal.

I sighed, wondering which was sadder: Edward worrying that I would change my mind only a few hours after agreeing to marry him, or Edward thinking that he needed to put his name at the end of text messages that he sent to me. Surely he knew that his number was programmed into my phone. I thought briefly about calling him, but then I remembered that his family would hear every word that I said, even if they were in different rooms. This wasn't a conversation that I wanted to have overheard.

Instead, I sent him a text message back: 'I love you and that will never change. There is nothing that I said last night, which I would like to unsay this morning.' Worrying that I was being a bit soppy, I added on to the end 'BTW I do have your number programmed into my phone, you don't actually have to sign your texts. Bella!'

Actually, now that I'd done it, I rather liked the idea of being engaged. I loved the way that he felt like mine now. I had always loved him passionately and needed him desperately. But lately there had been this amazing shift in our relationship: I had learnt that he loved me and needed me in just the same way. It was amazing. It made me feel much more secure and, though it seems absurd to even think it, almost as though I was Edward's true equal. I know that he's a musical genius and mind-blowingly gorgeous, and charming and suave, and knows almost everything, and is a bona fide glittering, strong, quick-healing, self-controlled vampire. But, none the less, he loved me, and that made me, in a way, his equal.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I didn't write 'Twilight', and the series doesn't have this exact scene in it.

Author's Note: just a bit of messing about. Nearly at the fight, I promise!

The moment had finally arrived: I was going to see Edward hunt. Granted, I was curled up next to him on a sofa watching him hunt on the big screen TV, but it was still a pretty exciting moment. Edward was rather uncomfortable. He hadn't wanted to sit next to me at all. He thought that the movie was going to scare me.

I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to be frightened. I already knew that Edward was a deadly vampire and I trusted him. I had seen truly scary vampires who really were out to get me. Edward was definitely not scary in comparison to James.

None of Edward's family seemed all that worried either. Carlisle was at work, Rosalie and Esme had gone out hunting. Emmett gleefully made popcorn. Alice and Jasper were snuggled up on a sofa in the corner of the room, barely paying any attention to Edward and me.

Edward was sat on the edge of his seat. He was still waiting for the running and screaming, I guess. That gave me an idea. It was a wicked idea, but it would also be pretty funny.

Just as I had the idea, Edward scowled at Alice.

"What?" she asked him, "it's stuck in my head."

I tugged on his arm and he returned his attention to the television.

A professional-looking series of credits began to scroll up the screen, telling us that Emmett had shot, edited, directed and publicised the film himself. Edward rolled his eyes.

The film began with a few scene-setting shots of some woods. I couldn't see any animals yet, I wondered what Edward was going to be hunting.

Finally I saw him. He was dressed perfectly normally, in jeans and a short-sleeved shirt, with polished brown shoes on his feet. Though it shouldn't have, this surprised me slightly. I wondered whether he would ruin his smart clothes; would they end up covered in grass stains, mud, blood? Ew! The image of Edward drenched in animal blood, his hair stuck to the side of his face with the sticky red substance, rose unbidden to my mind. I was glad that I hadn't eaten any popcorn yet, I thought that I was going to be sick.

Jasper looked at me and at the television in surprise. He must have sensed my feeling of disgust, and wondered why I was suddenly disgusted whilst looking at a picture of Edward. I blushed bright red.

"It was just something that I was thinking about," I told Jasper hurriedly.

He grinned, "Edward?" he asked me.

"Not only Edward . . . I mean, 'no'." I said, sighing.

Edward pulled me up against his side, "you don't have to explain anything, Bella," he said, "who cares what Jasper thinks you're thinking about? It's irrelevant."

"I care what you think I'm thinking about," I told him.

He smiled his crooked smile at me. "You could tell me what you're thinking," he said.

"I'd rather not. It was silly."

He frowned slightly, but then he decided that he was going to let it go and he shrugged the whole thing off with a smile.

After a stunning panoramic shot, showing off the lush vegetation, the camera focused back in on Edward. He turned to look directly at the camera, thoughtfully, as if he was listening to something. Since Emmett was behind the camera, I could only assume that he was listening to Emmett's thoughts.

"The movies that I've made for Rose are much more exciting than this," Emmett complained, "I did my best, but I might as well have been shooting a wall."

Edward didn't reply to Emmett, he just pinched the bridge of his nose.

At just the same moment, the Edward in the film looked slightly down and pinched the bridge of his nose.

I giggled at the double-shot of Edward disapproval.

"It gets a bit more interesting," Emmett promised me.

In fact, at that very moment, the Edward on the screen gave a quick grin to the camera and disappeared.

I stared at the screen. There was another pretty panoramic shot.

Emmett was looking at me expectantly. Edward was looking curious. Alice was giggling into Jasper's shoulder.

"Um . . . it's pretty Emmett, really beautiful scenery" I tried, since he seemed to expect some sort of reply. "But, where did Edward go?"

Emmett was momentarily baffled, then he shrugged, "you really can't see much, can you?" he said, "even for a human . . ."

"Emmett!" Edward interrupted his brother, but not in time to stop me blushing fire hydrant red. "Please just slow the footage down."

"Fine," Emmett pressed a few buttons and the film rewound.

The panoramic shot began again, but this time, instead of disappearing, Edward darted at incredible speed through the centre of the frame.

"Wow!" I said, "you really are fast."

Emmett and Jasper snorted, but Edward grinned widely.

"I can run that fast," Emmett told me.

"Which means that I can run faster," said Edward smugly.

I laughed.

The Edward on the screen was still running.

Emmett pressed a few more buttons and slowed the film down even further.

I wondered why he'd done that, then I saw Edward speed up. I gasped. He seemed to be barely a blur on the film and it was running at less than quarter speed.

Suddenly I saw Edward fly through the air. He jumped about a metre up and flew about three metres without loosing an inch of altitude. A deer seemed to materialise under Edward, then to crumble underneath him.

Edward stopped running. I knew that he must be feeding from the deer, but he and the deer were just tiny figures in the centre of the screen and it was hard to see exactly what was happening. The camera had stayed a long way away from Edward and I was leaning forward to see the action.

Emmett must have felt that he was too far away when he was filming, because the camera suddenly began to fly towards Edward. I was looking forward to getting a good view of Edward, though I was also a bit nervous. Would it be utterly disgusting? I had always known that Edward drank blood, but I didn't tend to think about it while I was kissing him. Would I still want to kiss Edward after actually seeing him sucking blood out of an animal?

I was getting quite agitated.

Emmett reached Edward and he was clearly framed in the centre of the screen.

Though we had approached Edward from behind, he span around to face the camera and looked straight at it. His eyes were dark and feral, he bared his teeth and hissed like an angry snake. I leaned back against the couch.

The Edward in the room slid his arm around my waist comfortingly.

The camera backed away at a walking pace.

The Edward on the film shook his head, waking himself up. He scowled at Emmett and muttered something. Then he turned his back and returned to the deer.

Now that the camera was a lot closer I could see that the deer was dead. There were no visible wounds, but the eyes were glassy and there was no movement, not even the heaving of a breathing chest. Edward was holding the deer to his lips, as if he were kissing the neck. After a few moments, he gently laid the deer's carcass back down.

He stood up and looked at the camera again. He shook his head to some question that Emmett asked, twice in succession.

Emmett grinned at me, and Edward looked at me hesitantly. It was time to put my plan into action. I slipped easily out of Edward's hold and got up. Edward didn't try to stop me. He sat very still, watching me with a look of resigned misery on his face. He thought that the moment he had been dreading ever since I first found out what he was had finally arrived.

"Help!" I shouted, "a vampire!" I ran to the living room door, passing Alice and Jasper on my way out. Seeing them, gave me another idea. "Help, Jasper!" I screamed, "Edward's a vampire! What if he tries to kill me?"

Jasper kept his face perfectly straight, "I'll protect you, Bella," he said calmly. "Don't worry."

Alice giggled, Emmett laughed.

Edward scowled at me, "that's not very funny, Bella," he said.

I grinned at him, "I think it's funny," I replied. "Honestly, Edward, after all this time, how can you still be waiting for me to run away from you?"

"I genuinely considered killing you and feeding on you at one point," he said, "I still have to monitor my every movement around you so that I don't accidentally crush you to death when we kiss. It is rather hard for me to understand how you can find this circumstance amusing. You ought to be afraid of me. But, if you were afraid of me I would lose you and that would mean the end of everything good about my life. I would very much like to be able to share in your entertainment, but I'm unable to find the possibility that you might be terrified of me at all funny."

After his long speech, I felt a bit guilty.

I was glad that Alice interrupted, "lighten up, Eddie," she said, "it really is about time that you realised that Bella – however foolishly – loves you and is never going to leave you."

Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me back onto the sofa next to him. He laced his arm around my waist and nuzzled into my hair.

"Mmm," he mumbled softly, happily. Then he muttered "don't call me Eddie."

"Seriously, Bella," he asked me, "are you alright? Are you upset, shocked, disgusted?"

I considered it. I had watched my boyfriend hunt a deer, kill it with his own bare hands and then drain it of blood. How did I feel?

Edward was right, I ought to have been upset, shocked and disgusted. But, I wasn't. I felt fine. It wasn't some scary psychopath on the film, it was Edward. It was my Edward who liked to lie with his head in my lap while I stroked his hair. My Edward, who sulked when I wouldn't give him permission to buy me expensive jewellery My Edward, who actually _requested _permission to buy me expensive jewellery He was a sweetheart. He was definitely not scary.

He was beautiful and sparkly; he was definitely not disgusting.

"How did you manage to stay so clean and neat? I get in more of a mess just walking down the road than you do running through fields and slaughtering wild animals."

"I've had a bit of practice. Are you really alright?"

I nodded, "it's not as though I'm surprised. I did already know that you hunted animals and drank their blood. I think that I made peace with that fact months ago."

"Months don't seem like very long to me," Edward said, "it seems like you've taken everything on board very fast and . . . I'm struggling to keep up with you."

"You think that we're moving too fast?" how could he say that? He was the one who wanted to rush into marriage. Was this another cryptic way of asking me to slow down our physical relationship?

"No!" Edward tugged me closer, as if he had heard the question in my head as well as the one on my lips. "I didn't mean to say that we were moving too fast. I meant to say that you accept me too easily."

"He's right," Alice chipped in, "you ought to demand more changes, Bella. Make him earn your love."

I laughed. Edward would never need to do anything to earn my love. I would always love him just because of who he was. In fact, even if he changed completely overnight, I would love him forever because he had once been the man that he was now. There was nothing in the world that would erase or diminish my love for him, and there didn't seem to be any point in trying to convince him otherwise.

"You're easy to love," I told him.

If I hadn't known better, I would have thought that Edward was embarrassed He held me closer than before and pressed his head into my shoulder. He stayed like that, snuggled against me, while his siblings giggled and I blushed bright red. I sometimes think that it would save time if my face just turned red the instant I entered the Cullens' house and didn't fade back until after I left. I spend almost all the time that I'm here with burning red cheeks.

"I did have one question about the film though: why did you turn around and hiss at the camera like that? Did Emmett say something?"

Emmett gasped in mock horror. "I resent that," he said, "I resent the implication that Edward's annoyance would be a response to something that I said. Edward's _always_ irritated about something."

"That's not quite true," Jasper interjected, in his cool Southern drawl, "whenever _you're _around, Emmett, Edward is always irritated about something."

"No I'm not!"

Jasper shrugged, "I would know," he said.

"Anyway, to answer Bella's question, Emmett didn't say anything, on _this _occasion. Any one of us would react like that if someone got too close when we were feeding. That's what I meant when I told you that, while we're hunting our instincts take over. I'm more vampire than human when I'm hunting."

"Oh, I used to have a cat like that." I said, "she was the sweetest, friendliest, cuddliest cat, until someone came between her and a bird, then she would hiss, spit, bit and claw like a feral creature. It was amazing. It reminded you that underneath it all, a domesticated animal is still an animal, not a civilised person."

Ah, the emotional temperature dropped to freezing. All the vampires stared at me.

I winced. I'd just compared them to cats, and not in a flattering way.

"I'm sorry," I said, "that didn't really come out right. I don't mean to say that I think you're like a cat. I was just . . . you know . . . babbling."

"I like cats," Alice said, sweetly trying to rescue the conversation.

"I don't," Jasper replied, "they taste like guinea pigs . . . Ah," he grinned, "you didn't mean it like that. Um . . . I'm sure that cats are very pleasant pets."

"You don't have a pet now," Edward complained.

I stared at him, "why would I have a pet? You'd eat it."

"I wouldn't. Unless you had a pet lion, or something big and predatory like that."

"Jasper ate pets. He just said that cats tasted like guinea pigs. He must have eaten both of those if he can make that kind of comparison."

"Jasper is different," Edward said, laying a great stress on the word 'different' as if it meant 'deficient'.

"I haven't eaten a lot of cats," Jasper said, "and I've only eaten one guinea pig."

"So, it would be more accurate to say that 'cats taste like a guinea pig'," I suggested, making myself laugh. Unfortunately, it was one of my jokes that nobody else found funny. I was sat in the middle of a pronounced absence of laughter. There is no louder or more embarrassing sound than a roomful of people not laughing. The vampires all stared at me, as though I was crazy. I scowled back at them, "I'm the normal one," I said stubbornly, "I'm the human."

"The human who knowingly hangs out with vampires," Emmett reminded me, "are you sure that you're normal, Bella?"

"You're all posing as humans, right? Well, in that case you should all be trying to imitate me, not to mock me. You should laugh at my jokes. Real humans would laugh at my jokes."

Emmett crumpled to the floor, "oh, no," he said, in an absurdly high-pitched version of my voice, "I seem to have slipped on my shadow."

"They can be slippery things," Jasper consoled him, also talking in an insulting imitation of me "here, let me help you up, Emmett." He performed a rather admirable prat-fall of his own. "Oh, my," he said, "in trying to help you up, I seem to have fallen over myself, how foolish of me."

"Easily done, Jasper, very human of you," Emmett replied.

"But, so embarrassing," Jasper whined.

"Oh, Jasper," Alice called from her place on the sofa, "you're so caring and wonderful and graceful. I don't deserve you."

They obviously felt that their impressions were extremely funny. I looked to my darling secret fiancé, waiting for him to step in. Obligingly, he said, "Bella's nothing like that", though it might have been nice to have heard a little more sincerity in his voice.

"True," said Emmett, with a wicked gleam in his eye, "you shouldn't even be looking at Jasper, Alice, you should be completely dazzled by Edward's awesome beauty."

Edward sighed and grimaced, while his siblings gathered around to sit in a circle around his feet. "Oh, Edward," Alice began, "you're so gorgeous."

"Oh, Edward," Emmett added, "you're so smart."

"Oh, Edward," Jasper said, "you're so wonderful."

They continued to take in turns to gush over Edward, whilst they all stared up at him enraptured.

"You're better than perfect, Edward."

"You're so kind and generous, Edward."

"You're so thoughtful, Edward."

"We should just go upstairs," Edward said to me.

His siblings all cried out in protest, grabbing at his trouser cuffs and begging him not to leave them.

"It's not funny any more," Edward scolded, prising Alice's fingers from his leg and trying to drag his foot away from Jasper.

Though they were all being extra careful not to get carried away because of my presence, Edward couldn't fight off his two brothers and Alice at the same time. Edward was soon dragged on to the floor, where Emmett and Jasper promptly sat on him. I backed away. I didn't like to leave Edward unsupported, but I didn't want to get killed when he and his siblings were messing around.

"Now we can keep our Edward here with us," Jasper crowed.

Alice produced sparkly hair bands from nowhere and began to re-style Edward's hair while he couldn't move.

"How are we doing, Bella?" Jasper asked me, "are we believable humans yet?"

"No," I told him, "you're completely unbelievable, and Edward's right, you're not funny."

"Of course, Edward's right," Jasper responded, "Edward's always right."

"And he's always handsome, and always sexy," Emmett added.

"Such perfect, pretty hair," Alice cooed.

"What do you want?" Edward asked, ceasing for a moment to struggle against his brothers' hold "how can I get you to stop?"

"Stay here and play with us," Emmett said, "promise you and Bella won't run off upstairs to hide in your lair."

Edward fidgeted, trying to get his hair away from Alice; Jasper and Emmett held him more firmly in place. "Fine," he said, "I promise, now let me get up."

They backed off, laughing.

Edward pouted a bit, but he returned to the sofa, and I sat next to him. Edward moaned about his hair, so I laid his head in my lap and proceeded to undo Alice's work. Edward flicked the hair bands over to Alice, as I removed them, and she merrily dressed up Jasper's hair instead. He didn't protest, he relaxed and let Alice amuse herself. Jasper probably didn't have an opinion on his hairstyle, he had Alice instead. Emmett laid out on the floor and began tossing a baseball up and down.

"This is nice," Alice said, continuing to decorate Jasper, who leant serenely into her, "all of us together, relaxing."

Edward growled. "No, Emmett," he said.

"Bella," Emmett said loudly, making it clear that he had intended to speak to me and not to Edward anyway, "would you like to see another one of the films that I've made?"

"Emmett, your films are all of you and Rose. Bella doesn't want to see them" Edward said firmly. Then he changed the subject and reminded me that we ought to see about making me some lunch.

I let him lead me into the kitchen.

"Would you like to teach me to cook something, or will you make do with something Esme's left in the fridge?"

"Actually, I'm already hungry, so I'd prefer something that's ready-made, what's on offer?"

Edward opened the fridge and read out the neat labels. I chose a chicken salad, which Edward plated up for me, almost managing to conceal his disgust. He fetched me a can of coke as well and sat very politely, making small talk, while I ate my lunch.

"I'm sorry about my family," he said.

I laughed, "it's alright. I think that's what having a big family is meant to be like."

He shrugged, "if they make you feel uncomfortable . . ." he began.

"They'll all find it very funny indeed," I finished for him.

"Carlisle would make them stop."

"Edward, I'm planning on becoming a part of this family. I think that I can handle a little bit of teasing."

He nodded, unconvinced.

"Just wait until I'm a vampire too, then we'll take them all on at the same time!"

Then he chuckled, "you're a little firebrand," he said, "we'll have our hands full when you're a newborn."


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: This is a re-write of 'Twilight'. This isn't how it went originally. It's a sort of loving parody.

I'm not sure why I still kept my window open at night. It's not as though Edward was going to come and visit. He was still grounded. If he did come by, I would probably end up in trouble with Carlisle if my window was open. It would look as though I was encouraging Edward to break the rules. Nonetheless, it was almost an article of faith with me now. I slept with my window open because I loved Edward, even though I knew he wasn't coming by.

The breeze was familiar to me, as were various noises that drifting in from outside. I fell asleep listening to the sounds of cars on the street. I woke up listening to the birds. It had been a long time though since I had woken to a cold hand on my shoulder and a vampire whisper in my ear.

When I realised that I wasn't dreaming any more and that Jasper was really in my bedroom, I could feel my face burning. The only thing that could make this any worse would be Emmett leaping in through the window.

As I could have predicted, I heard a voice from outside, "Jasper, get back down here." To my surprise it wasn't Emmett at all, it was Alice, "Bella is awake; now leave her to get dressed."

"I could help you get dressed. That would give you more time to tell me about the dream."

"Jasper!" Alice said again. "You do not want me to come and get you out of another lady's bedroom."

This time Jasper didn't hesitate, he sprang out of the window instantly, apologising to his wife on the way down.

I dressed quickly, not wanting Jasper to have any excuse to re-enter my room. Just as I fastened my shoes, a flash of movement by the window made me turn my head. Alice was sat calmly on the sill. "We're better off leaving this way," she said cheerfully "Originally, it looked like you'd be more confident if Jasper jumped down holding you, but, that seems to have changed. So, just remember I'm a super-strong vampire and close your eyes."

Obeying Alice, I felt a tight hug, a cold wind and then she was saying, "you can open them again now."

We were in my garden. Alice was grinning and Jasper was carefully examining me and probably gauging my mood.

"What are you two doing visiting me in the middle of the night?"

"There's a meeting," Jasper said, "and you ought to be there. We're meeting with the wolves to discuss strategy."

A thousand new questions came to mind, but Alice grabbed my hand, "we'll fill you in on the way," she promised, dragging me through the woods.

We arrived before the wolves. Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie were standing in a clearing, talking quietly. They looked up and smiled at us.

When we reached the little group, Jasper went to talk to Carlisle and Edward held out his hand to me. I took it and gripped it tight. Edward didn't let go of my hand the whole time. While the wolves filled the clearing, he held on tight. When Jasper began his demonstrations, fighting his siblings, his father, even Esme, Edward put his arm around my shoulders. At one point Jasper stopped and looked over at Edward and me.

"Do you mind, if I go?" Edward said.

For a little while, I stared at him. Then it sank in. He wanted my permission to fight Jasper. "Are you joking? I don't want you getting hurt" I whispered.

"I'll be gentle," Jasper said delightedly.

I could have sworn I heard a wolf snigger.

Everyone had heard me worrying about Edward. There had been no point at all in whispering. "Super-hearing, you've gotta hate that."

Edward gave me a pained smile, "so, you don't mind?"

I shook my head. I couldn't stop him now. Not after embarrassing him in front of everyone.

Alice appeared next to me, "first Jazz will swing his left fist, and Edward will dodge out of the way," she whispered, just before they did just that.

Edward and Jasper were dancing around each other, staring into each other's eyes. Jasper jumped over Edward's head, Edward ducked. Jasper kicked out, Edward leapt out of his way. Jasper was on the offence, Edward was playing defence.

Alice whispered again. "Trust me, Bella, they are both going to be fine. This is just practice."

"And, what about when it isn't practice any more?"

She sighed, "I have a good feeling, Bella. With the wolves on our side, I can't see everything, but I really do think that we're going to be fine."

The brothers were moving faster now. It was hard for me to make out their movements. Most of the time I wasn't sure which blur was Edward and which was Jasper. When they slowed, I could still see Jasper striking like a snake and Edward predicting his moves and slipping away just in time.

It looked like it was only a matter of time before Jasper broke through Edward's guard. So, I was rather surprised when Jasper rose up out of his crouch and held out his hand to Edward, "draw?" he offered.

"Probably for the best," Edward agreed.

Jasper turned back to the wolves. "We need to discuss tactics," he said, "will you phase, or do you want Edward to interpret?"

A few seconds later, Sam – wearing a pair of shorts – strolled into the centre of the circle, followed by Jacob.

"Hey, Bells." Jacob seemed far more relaxed with Jasper than I might have expected. They exchanged a short nod.

"We've been trying a few things out," Jasper continued, addressing Sam mainly, "since we last spoke. As far as we can determine, the best way to arrange ourselves would be in two separate areas." He produced a map from his pocket, with scribbles all over it, and passed it over for Sam to examine. "That gives you the advantage of surprise, and it allows Alice to use her gift, which you seem to undermine."

Sam nodded solemnly, "on this occasion, we have no need to defend ourselves from the prophetess. If I commit us to remaining in the area you suggest, will she be able to see more?"

Alice grinned, "perfect," she said, "hold on."

As Alice closed her eyes to concentrate better on what she saw in her mind, we all waited nervously. Edward put his arm back around my waist and pulled me against him.

"Yes", she said, "they split up too. Half to the East, where my vision disappears."

Sam nodded and Jake grinned from ear to ear.

"The other half are here, with us. But, there's a bit of a flicker in the middle . . . Jasper?"

"It was just a thought," he complained, "not another plan. Sorry, Alice."

Edward hissed, "you're considering it," he accused his brother. He looked as though he would like to resume their abandoned match.

Sam shrugged, "we'll leave you to discuss the details of your fighting positions," he said calmly.

"Bella will be far away from here," Edward said.

Jacob frowned, "if these 'details' involve Bella, we should stay until they're finalised."

Sam seemed to agree, asking: "What exactly is the plan for Bella? Surely the safest place for her would be La Push, with her father. Some of the younger members of the pack will be remaining there anyway."

"Her scent is all over La Push" Edward protested, "she should be somewhere with a less obvious trail."

"You want to dump her by herself in the middle of nowhere?" Jacob stared at him as though he was criminally insane.

"I could stay with her."

While we'd been talking, the rest of the Cullens had gathered around us. Now Rosalie butted in, "Yeah, Edward, that's a great idea: you holed up in the middle of nowhere with your human girlfriend and no chaperone!"

"La Push is the safest place," Jacob repeated.

"Or there's Jasper's idea," I said. I'd been wondering what that was.

He shuffled his feet a little. "It wasn't exactly an idea, more of a stray thought."

"And we're not doing it," Edward said firmly "so you don't need to hear it."

Edward's irritation had the opposite effect to the one he intended. Instead of dropping the subject, Jasper explained fully so that everyone knew what he and Edward had been rowing about. "I thought that if you were here, in the clearing, it would bring the newborns right to us, and it would have the added bonus of driving them crazy, making them more distracted and easier to defeat."

"No!" Edward and Jacob spoke in unison. Then, both annoyed at having done so, they glowered at one another.

Alice grimaced, already responding to what I was about to say.

"I think it's a good idea," I said, "I want to help. They're all looking for me. I should be here."

Now it was Edward's turn to grimace.

"There's a chance they'll find Bella, if we try to hide her," Emmett added, "if she's with us, then we can protect her. If she isn't with us and a stray vampire picks up her scent . . ." he trailed off.

"I can protect her from a stray vampire," Edward complained, sounding rather like a sulky child.

Jasper smacked him round the back of the head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"To remind you that you're not the most powerful being on the planet. If I can hit you, then so can another vampire. And they won't leave your head attached."

Emmett laughed, "come on, Eddie, obviously the seven of us are more protection than just the one of you."

Rose agreed, "it looks like the fight is headed in Bella's direction. So, really, we should all be with Bella. Think of it as everyone guarding Bella when the newborn army arrives, rather than as Bella attending a battle."

"No," Edward said, "no. It's not happening like that. Bella is not acting as bait."

Sam shook his head, "I don't like it either, but we can't guarantee Bella's safety anywhere. If they're looking for her, then she probably should be away from humans and with something that can protect her."

"I'm staying on this side, then," said Jacob, "I'm not leaving Bella with a bunch of fighting bloodsuckers. What if one of you forgets what side you're on? What if you get worked up and hungry in the middle of the fight?"

"That makes no strategic sense," Jasper said, ignoring the accusation. "You're no tangible advantage for us, we've never fought besides wolves before, you've never fought besides our kind before. The only effect that you would have would be to blind Alice."

"True," said Sam.

There was a low grumble from Jacob, as if he'd forgotten that he was in human form right now, and was still trying to growl.

"So, it's settled?" Carlisle summarised, laying his hand on Edward's shoulder, "we'll be here, with Bella, and Sam, and Jacob, will be in the Eastern clearing with the pack."

There were a lot of nods.

"Bella?" Esme asked, "is this what you want to do?"

I tried to imagine standing in the middle of a clearing, while a crowd of vampires fought around me. It was a lot better than imagining everyone else fighting a crowd of vampires without me. If I was here, maybe there would be something that I could do.

"Yes," I said softly, "it sounds like the best plan."

"Jasper and I will take Bella back home again." Alice took my hand and dragged me away with her. I got one quick kiss from Edward, before Carlisle took him in one direction and Alice and Jasper took me in the other. I hoped that Carlisle was going to be able to calm Edward down. He hadn't seemed at all happy about being so decisively over-ruled.

No really wanting to dwell on my worries about Edward, nor to subject Jasper to feeling them, I changed the subject. "Jacob seemed quite relaxed with you," I said, "even Sam didn't appear antagonistic."

Jasper shrugged, "the meetings have gone well. I suspect that our accord won't last very long once we have no common enemy, but right now we need each other."

"You've had other meetings?"

He smiled, "yes, didn't you know? It wasn't a secret."

"Had you discussed me being live bait before."

Jasper glared at the rear-view mirror. "Please don't use the phrase 'live bait'. Edward's unhappy enough as it is."

"If you're going to do this, then you need to prepare" Alice said.

"You mean that I should learn to fight?"

Jasper seemed to be choking on something, so Alice smacked his shoulder, which seemed to dislodge whatever that was.

"We should probably talk about this tomorrow, when you've had a good sleep."


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: this is not the 'Twilight' series. Honestly, why would I waste my time typing that? This is my own twisted version, and I like typing this, so it doesn't feel like I'm wasting my time. I'm having too much fun.

Edward was very much against me even discussing fighting. So Jasper, Emmett and Rose took me to the clearing, while Edward was stuck at home. Having him grounded was turning out to be surprisingly convenient. I didn't have to make up reasons for not spending time with him. He knew that I couldn't come to his house all the time.

It probably should have felt bad to keep a secret like this from Edward, but it didn't. There was no point in him getting upset over nothing. If I didn't need to fight, then he would never find out that I'd been practising. If I ever did need to fight, then he would be too pleased to see me surviving to worry about how I'd been able to do it. Either way, there was no point in arguing with Edward about it, when I could simply not tell him what I was doing.

I did worry a little bit about Edward finding out through his siblings.

"How are you going to stop Edward seeing all this in your minds?"

Rose shrugged, "by thinking about something else, Bella. Whatever he may think, Edward is not omniscient."

"He's with Alice, any how," Jasper said, "he won't even notice that the rest of us aren't there."

Rose and Emmett didn't seem concerned, but I could have sworn that there was a bitter note in Jasper's voice. I wondered what he was bitter about; was it the extent to which he had to share his wife, or the flimsiness of his relationship with his brother? Alice and Edward's bond had seemed intense enough to be a threat to me, but could it possibly threaten Jasper as well?

He must have sensed a spike of confusion from me, because Jasper gave a watery smile. I frowned. He ought to be better than that at concealing his emotions, wasn't that supposed to be a part of his gift?

Instead of explaining, or trying to convince me that he wasn't slightly hurt by Edward's relationship with Alice, Jasper changed the subject.

"Can I assume that you've never had any combat training at all, Bella?"

I nodded, feeling rather foolish to be standing with Jasper, who had been a serving soldier at my age, admitting that I had never had so much as a boxing lesson.

He didn't seem shocked, or at all concerned. I probably don't give off the vibes of a lean, mean vampire-fighting machine. He must know that fighting isn't on most high schools' curriculum. I was glad that Jasper didn't look as worried as I felt. Mind you, that might just be because he wasn't the one who might end up being killed by a hungry newborn vampire.

"There is an extent to which that might be an advantage. Fighting vampires is very different to fighting humans. At least this way we don't have any bad habits to erase. You are obviously not going to be able to beat a newborn vampire on strength, or speed, and you probably won't be able to outwit them. You might be able to use their disorientation to your advantage, so we're going to work on confusing the enemy."

It didn't sound very hopeful. Jasper was planning on teaching me how to confuse vampires. He didn't even try to pretend that I might be able to escape a vampire attack, he thought that I should focus on trying to distract them for a couple of seconds.

Jasper made me stand my ground while Emmett ran at me, pretending to attack. The huge weight of him barrelled down one me. I barely had time to scream, before he tapped me smartly on the shoulder and said, "Bella, you're dead!"

"Don't scream," Jasper said, "wait until he's nearly on you, then duck."

Emmett ran back in exactly the same manner. This time I didn't scream, I ducked. Emmett laughed loudly, jumped over me, turned around and then tapped me on the shoulder again. I sighed. I'd lived maybe two or three more seconds in this scenario.

"All you need is a couple of seconds," Jasper said calmly, "distract, him and give me time to step in. Try exactly the same attack, Em."

The third time it went better, I ducked and Jasper pounced on Emmett as he turned.

Jasper grinned and patted me lightly on the back, "good, job, Bella."

Next Rosalie attacked. I tried ducking again, but it was no use. She was on top of me. Rosalie played her part slightly more fully than Emmett and kissed me on the neck. I shivered, imagining how easy it would be for her to bite rather than kiss. If she didn't like me, I could be dead before I had a chance to see her coming.

"You have to be surprising, Bella, you can't just repeat the same move over and over. Rose is running the whole length of the clearing towards you. You saw her coming; that gives you time to move. Play dead."

Rosalie ran back again, I lay on the ground. She stopped, and looked at me. I don't know if she was playing a surprised newborn vampire, or if she was worried that I had fainted. Either way, there was enough time for Jasper to get to her. He wicked grinned wickedly at Rosalie and whispered something in her ear. She giggled.

Emmett and Rosalie amused themselves by leaping at me from behind trees and running across the clearing, while I tried not to scream. Jasper stood next to me. Each time Emmett or Rosalie grabbed me by the neck and pronounced me 'dead', he quietly suggested something else that I could try.

It was not exactly the fighting training that I'd expected Jasper to offer. I had been expected a boot-camp style thing. Instead I was learning to cartwheel and pull faces and tell jokes. Jasper said that there was absolutely no point in me trying to fight at all. In fact, when I asked him about it, he burst out laughing. I realised that was what he'd been doing in the car, when I asked him about fighting before. He hadn't been choking, he'd been laughing. He found the idea of me trying to fight off a vampire hilariously funny.

"Have you considered just changing me into a newborn vampire myself?" I asked, not enjoying the idea that I was utterly useless in a fight.

Jasper rolled his eyes, "I considered it for a fraction of a second. You would be more durable, it's true, but you would be unpredictable. We would lose at least two members of our force in guarding and controlling you. And, you still might get away from us and be hurt in the attack. Newborn vampires aren't indestructible, as you know. You would be more of a liability as a newborn."

I sighed. "Am I ever going to be anything other than a liability to you?"

Jasper smiled sympathetically. "I know how you feel" he said. It sounded so silly, for Major Whitlock to tell me that he knew how it felt to be useless, that I almost yelled at him. Then I remembered that he was probably just being accurate. Even if he'd never been in a remotely similar situation (and I couldn't imagine that Jasper had ever been the weakest link of any chain), he did know exactly how I felt.

"Look," he said, "when we found you with James, you were still alive. You were hurt, but you were alive. I know that he was the type to play with his food, and that probably helped. But, really, you must have done something to keep him interested. You just need to repeat that. We will all be there, you only need to distract a newborn for a couple of seconds. As long as there aren't too many others between us, you only need to distract them for one second and I will be there."

I shivered, "it doesn't sound like much of a plan, Jasper."

"I'm not really expecting them to reach you." He took a stick and began making marks on the ground. "You'll be here. This is me, Carlisle, Emmett, Edward, Alice, Esme and Rose." As he listed the names, he indicated their positions, carefully drawing a solid barrier around the mark that was me. "There's no way to get through us and reach you. I promise."

"And we're doing this 'training' because . . ."

"Because it'll make us all feel better if you have some sort of a plan. Then you can sit back and enjoy the show."

"Enjoy?"

He smirked at me, and I felt a great wave of joy lift me into the air. I laughed like a child at the circus. Mood-altering vampires can be so cocky. If Jasper was so inclined, he could probably make me laugh my way through the entire attack. He probably wouldn't, though, that would be rather distracting to the rest of the Cullens.

"Leave it to me, Bella."

So, I stuck with Jasper's plan and let him carry on teaching me how to distract blood-thirsty vampires.

We kept practising. I kept being stupid and confusing and strange. Once I made Emmett laugh so much by singing to him that he didn't even reach me. Jasper stepped neatly between us and said, "that's amazing, Bella, a full twenty-three seconds. Making him laugh is a matter of luck, though. You won't know these newborns."

I wasn't sure how I would feel about making the newborn vampires laugh. I'd been trying to think of them as less human than the Cullens. What would it be like if they were laughing?

These newborn vampires were humans like me not all that long ago. They were exactly like the Cullens used to be. Jasper especially was once a crazed killer like the newborns who were coming. How could I justify the whole-sale slaughtering of thinking, feeling, laughing vampires?

When we practised it was funny. I distracted Rose and Emmett so that Jasper could count to three and then tap them on the shoulder. In the real battle, Rose, Emmett, Jasper, even Esme, Alice, Carlisle and Edward were all planning on killing other vampires. They were going to destroy their own kind, just to stop them killing me. It was sick and wrong.

"Focus, Bella," Jasper chided, "staring into space and day-dreaming won't stop anyone wanting to eat you."

When Rosalie came for me the next time, I pointed at her and shouted "I can't believe you're wearing that!"

Rose looked genuinely taken aback. Which gave Jasper plenty of time to saunter over to her and whisper in her ear again.

Rose giggled, "that is positively scandalous, Major," she said.

Even I heard Emmett's growl from the other end of the clearing.

Jasper smirked.

Inspired by his obvious irritation with his brother, Emmett's next attack was phenomenally fast. I gasped and he was on me. Instead of reminding me that I'd lost though, he said "Jasper is so dead."

"Er, Emmett, the game is to kill me."

"Not right this moment it isn't." Emmett replied in a low, threatening voice, then turned around to face Jasper. That was when I realised that Emmett had only been playing at trying to attack me. He was much more terrifying now, squaring up to his brother, than he had been during any of his rushes at me. Emmett drew himself up to his full height, towering over Jasper.

The shorter man appeared unphased. He was smirking, even though he was completely covered by the very large shadow of a very angry-looking Emmett."It was nothing," he said, putting up his hands in a mocking surrender, "calm down, Em."

"I can kick your ass, perfectly calmly," Emmett replied, ignoring the relaxing feelings that Jasper was giving him and running at him anyway.

Jasper let Emmett run right up to him, then somehow grabbed his arm and tossed him onto the floor. The ground shook and the air was momentarily filled with the thud of Emmett hitting the floor. Emmett got up and took another swing at his brother. They began to fight properly, moving too fast for me to make out all the moves. When one brother managed to make contact with the other, there was a loud crash. The continuing fight sounded like an avalanche.

Rose materialised next to me, "it's been a long day," she explained. "They just need to get it out of their systems. I think that your training is over for the day."

I nodded. It didn't seem as though Jasper was going to come back and return to giving me tips. "How do you think I'll do?"

"Your taste in clothes hasn't improved." I didn't laugh. I wanted to hear what she really thought. I wasn't in the mood for cheap jokes. She sighed, "I don't know what's going to happen. I know that we'll all be together, and I think that's a good thing."

I wonder if Rose is right. If one of us is killed, will it be any consolation to know that we were all standing there when it happened? Probably not.

On the other hand, if I am going to die, I would rather die surrounded by my family. If the rest of the Cullens all feel the same, then it's worth us standing together. I was glad that Rose, at least, was as worried as me. Edward, Alice, Jasper and Emmett were all so confident that it made me nervous. What if their over-confidence jinxed us? Surely they knew that pride merely sets people up to fall.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: please note this is fanfiction. I am in no way associated with the owners of the 'Twilight' franchise.

Author's Note: next chapter, the fight! I'm so excited!

Edward, meanwhile, had his own preparation plans.

"If I begged you to do something for me, would you do it?"

We were sat in the lounge of the Cullen house, pretending to be alone. We weren't really alone, of course, so we couldn't talk about real secrets, like our engagement. But, his family were pretending not to hear us, and Edward was pretending not to hear them. I really couldn't hear any other Cullens and had no idea where they were.

I had a pretty good guess at what the others were doing, however, because Edward was kissing me rather more eagerly than usual, and letting his hands wander a lot more than usual. I very much doubted that he was being driven wild by my jeans and sweater combo, nor by my rather creaky attempts at seduction. Thoughts, and possibly emotions, being broadcast from the far reaches of the house were probably influencing his behaviour. Not that I was complaining.

Now he was offering to beg for something. I wondered if he was going to finally produce that first script from his back pocket. He certainly wouldn't need to beg for that, well, not unless he wanted to . . .

"Possibly," I wished that I could just say 'yes', but I wasn't sure that Edward was about to ask me for something sensible. Was this good stuff or was it going to be another 'never see Jacob Black again' moment? Warily I asked him, "What would that something be?"

"Hide. Don't put yourself in harm's way tomorrow."

"Oh, Edward." My heart was dragged down to my liver. I felt sick. I hated denying him anything at all. I wanted to do nothing but make Edward happy forever. "I can't do that."

"Not even for me?"

"Can't you ask me for something else?"

"Not something else that I really want. Please, please don't do this."

"Edward, if I asked you to sit it out: to leave your family to face this threat without you, would you do it?"

His shoulders slumped, "I don't know. I think I would, for you."

I didn't believe him. Edward would never sit out a fight. He would let me beg him and yell at him and he would ignore me, safe in the knowledge that I would forgive him later. There is no way that he would abandon his family and leave them to fight without him. And, there was no way that I would ask him to do so. Neither of us were that selfish.

"Would you hide? Would you force someone else, someone who could be useful, to come with you and guard you?"

"I want you to be safe."

"I know. And I want you to be safe. But, perhaps sometimes it isn't possible to guarantee safety. Perhaps, sometimes, the best that we can do is be together. If something awful happens tomorrow, I would rather we were all there to face it together."

"I thought that you'd say something like that." He looked resigned. At least he was beginning to accept that I had my own mind, even if he still wanted to persuade me, he was allowing me to have opinions. "I had to ask, you understand. I had to beg."

"I know, sweetie. I have to say this: if something happens to me, you will keep your promise, won't you?"

He didn't need me to remind him what he'd promised. He groaned, "I will keep my word to you."

"Edward, if you try to hurt yourself, or to force anyone else to hurt you, then you will be desecrating our love. If you attempt to kill yourself it will be like saying that our love never meant anything to you at all."

Edward winced. "I'll never be able to forget you saying that. Would it work if I told you that coming to the clearing tomorrow would be . . ."

"No." I interrupted him. "You don't want to say that to me." If he told me that being present at the fight would be a sign that I didn't love him, that would leave a bitter feeling between us for ages. If the worst did happen, I didn't want it to leave us angry with one another on top of everything else.

He seemed to understand how much he could ultimately regret such a statement, because he didn't try to dissuade me any more. Instead we sat in silence for a while. For my part, at least, just enjoying being together.

"Fire!" Edward shouted suddenly.

I looked around, "where? I can't smell anything."

"No, sorry," Edward ruffled up his hair, slightly embarrassed at blurting out one word like that. He preferred to be a lot suaver!

"I didn't mean that. I mean that we could use fire to protect you. Do you remember the night that my idiotic siblings were showing off their juggling skills?"

"If you're that bitter about it, perhaps you should learn to juggle."

Edward scowled at me. That wasn't what he was thinking about right now. It was not the right moment to tease him about juggling. "Remember when Alice and Rose were juggling and they forced you to join them. You stood there, surrounded by fire, and you were completely unharmed."

"Not quite how I remember it," I remember being asked to join them, choosing to do so, and really enjoying myself. It wasn't the time to argue about who forces humans to do what, however. Edward wanted to get something off his chest. "But ok."

"That's what we can do tomorrow. We can surround you with fire. No vampire will be able to get anywhere near you. Jasper! Why aren't you in here? What are you doing? Don't you like the idea?"

Jasper strolled into the room, buttoning up his shirt with one hand and smoothing his hair back into place with the other. "I think that we'll just skip over the first half of that question and go straight to the second, shall we? It might be possible. Tell me what you're thinking."

"Not sure yet. Obviously, I'm not suggesting that anyone throws fiery clubs. Maybe a ring of fire on the ground. Where's Alice?"

Jasper smirked, "she'll need a few moments." Suddenly, there was a pile of A4 paper in front of him and his hand was darted over it sketching. "This is the plan at the moment, you see where Bella is positioned, giving her two lines of defence in every direction. If we put in a fire-wall around Bella we would have to consider whether we'd be moving Rose and Esme a little further forward."

Edward bent over the diagram, screwing his face up in concentration.

"Why am I so far from Bella?"

Jasper frowned, "don't make me say it, Edward."

I raised my eyebrows, trying to give one of those quizzical looks that Jasper was always giving me. Edward could hear what he was thinking, I was the only one who needed to actually hear Jasper speak out loud.

He sighed, "fine. You're too useful not to be at the front, alright? I've never said that you weren't good in a tight spot, just that you're annoying."

It was Edward's turn to smirk, "fine," he said, "I've never said that you weren't the best person to arrange our defences, just that . . ." he stopped as Alice walked into the room. "Alice! What can you see?"

Alice sighed, "nothing yet, only the two of you talking. Let's make some decisions and see what happens."


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: this is not the real 'Twilight'; this is my slightly twisted version.

Warning: some violence in this chapter.

There was a funereal atmosphere as we grouped in the centre of the clearing. I was stood between two blazing fire pits The Cullens were carefully positioned around me. Alice and Rosalie were at my elbows. Esme, was behind me. They formed an inner circle. In a slightly larger circle around them stood the Cullen men. It was an old-fashioned instinct, but it was a powerful instinct: the men would fight to protect their women. The ultra-powerful vampires pretended not to notice that I was holding a stout branch by my side. There wasn't much that I would be able to do. If I set fire to my branch and waved it around I would probably burn myself, or one of the Cullens rather than the newborns.

Nobody said goodbye. But 'I love you's hung heavy in the air and there was a worrying absence of teasing. Without the usual laughter and bickering, we were left listening to the crackling flames.

I knew that the moment was close, when I saw them crouch. First Alice sank into a defensive posture and Jasper, so in tune with his wife that he didn't even have to watch her, crouched in sync. Edward heard their minds and prepared himself to fight. Then everyone else followed suit. There wasn't much point in my crouching like a vampire, but I couldn't do nothing. I gripped tightly onto my branch. My pockets held silver lighters that Edward had given me. He'd had them engraved.

When the newborns arrived, they arrived fast. They crashed into the clearing, a full dozen of them, all as fast as Edward had been in the hunting film. The newborns weren't arranged at all, there was no line, no order, just a rush, like a crowd trying to get onto a train, or trying to run away from a bomb scare.

They were all staring at me, fixing me with their hungry red eyes. It was far worse than James, at least he had looked like he might have been human once. These vampires were wearing rags rather than clothes. They were so dirty that their skin no longer shimmered in the sunshine. For a split second I wondered – in that stupid, pointless way that people do when they are terrified – whether the dirt would hamper Alice and Rose. Neither of them liked to get their hands dirty.

The newborns were noisy too. They muttered and screeched. I could only make out a few words 'mother' and 'burning' seemed to come up a lot. I dipped my branch in the brazier and watched as the flames caught. I held it by my side, at least it would give the newborns something to dodge when they came for me. I was glad of the dirt and the screeching. It stopped them looking like my vampires. They were more like movie vampires, or zombies. They didn't look human any more. They were nothing like the refined, beautiful vampires that I knew and loved. If I was going to see something killed, I didn't want it to look like something human.

At some signal of Jasper's that I didn't see, the Cullens all growled together, low and determined.

Then the fight began. There was movement everywhere. I am not proud of this fact, but I couldn't tear my eyes from Edward. He sprang forward towards one of the advancing newborns. This was the third time that I'd seen Edward fight, but it was nothing like those first two times. This was not like the slow-starting, teasing fight that I'd seen him have with Emmett. Nor was this like the spinning, tango of a fight that he'd had with Jasper. Really, it had more in common with the film that I'd seen of him hunting. Approaching this enemy as he had approached an animal, not as he'd approached his siblings, Edward leapt, grabbed the creature by the neck and bit down. Edward's hands moved fast, and roughly, not bothering with his usual grace. He tugged and twisted and when he stepped back, he was stepping back from a pile of twitching limbs not from a vampire. An animal, I reminded myself, that was what I was watching: Edward hunting animals. But, I knew that wasn't it. I was watching him destroy his own kind. I was watching him kill the thing that he was, the thing that I wanted to become. I pushed the traitorous thought away and concentrated on the dirt and the rags and the insane muttering.

Edward turned to his right, there Carlisle was fighting two newborns at once. Edward reached over and, unceremoniously punched one of the creatures – I think she was once a woman – in the back of the head. The enemy staggered, Edward pressed his advantage and twisted off the head. He looked at Carlisle for a second, nodded and ran back towards me, leaving Carlisle to finish the dismembering.

He wasn't running to me, though. The fight was reaching its conclusion and the Cullens were retreating into a tighter circle around me. Those newborns that were still alive, had got closer while the Cullens were busy. Edward was so close now, that I could see the flames from my sentinel fires reflected on his skin. Fire didn't make his skin sparkle the way that sunshine did. In the firelight, his bare skin seemed to smoulder The newborn's skin was too dirty, rather than being reflected the firelight bounced back in a surreal glow. There was one between Edward and me, the red aura matched by his startled red eyes. Edward saw it and he saw me. I ducked between my braziers, getting my head and my vulnerable neck lower than the crackling flames. I clutched my burning staff in front of my face. The scent smoking wood filled my nostrils. I think that ruined the romance of an open fire for me forever.

Edward grabbed the creature by the neck and pulled it to the ground. He crouched low and twisted off the head. I watched him, slowly, calmly now, turning the limbs and tugging them away from the torso, making a neat pile. He was so close now, I could see the creature's watch, which reminded me that it had once – not long ago – been a human being like me. It was the sight of the watch that finally broke me. He was wearing one of those plastic calculator watches. Once, this had been a human. He had parents, friends, a job or a college course. Now Edward, my boyfriend, was tearing him apart. I heard my own scream before I felt my mouth open.

I could see the leg that was still trying to kick, even when the head was no longer giving it instructions.

There was a hand on my shoulder and I screamed again.

"Sorry," Rose said, "I didn't mean to make you jump. It's over, Bella. They're all finished."

I should have turned to thank her, or at least to tell her that everything was ok. But, I didn't think of that in the moment. I just ran to my Edward, hurled my arms around him and held on for love and life.

"Bella," he said, "oh, Bella. I'm so sorry. That was so awful for you."

"You're alright, you're alright. I love you so much."

His hands held me tighter than ever before. He was pressing against my back so fiercely that I thought I could feel the lines and whorls of his finger-prints through my coat and my sweater.

Then I felt another hand grab my ankle.

Again I was screaming.

Edward stamped down on the grabbing arm. Then he swept me into his arms. I clung around his neck.

Emmett stepped in and picked up the arm, it was an abandoned arm, ripped off someone in the heat of battle. Still possessed by some kind of vampire life, it was crawling along by itself, searching for the rest of its body. Emmett tossed it onto a big bonfire, already laden with body parts.

"Is everyone else alright?" I asked, belatedly, realising how awful it was that it took me until now to remember the rest of the family.

"Fine," Edward said, "it was easy."

"Victoria?"

He frowned, "Jasper," he said shortly. It amazed me that he could sound annoyed, as though this had been some kind of game and he wished that he'd been the one to score the hat-trick. Then he seemed to remember that it didn't matter who had killed her, "She's gone now, Bella, you're safe at last."

"The wolves?"

Now Carlisle answered, "fine. No serious injuries. They think that Leah might have a broken rib, she was taken by surprise, but Seth was there and he stepped in before anything could go wrong. I'm going to look at her later."

"Later? Why aren't you there now?"

"Ssh," Edward whispered in my ear, "Alice had a vision. The Volturi are on their way. It's best that they don't know about the wolves."

"Alice? Is Alice alright?"

"Yes, Bella, everyone is alright."

"And the wolves?"

"Bella, they're fine."

"And everyone else, are you alright?"

This time, Edward just stroked my hair. Rather than answering me, he frowned and said "Carlisle?"

"Probably shock, Edward. She needs rest and calm."

I could hear screaming again and I could see horror in Edward's face. What was it?

Jasper appeared in front of me, as calm and cool as he ever was. "Bella," he said, and I realised that I was the one screaming again. That was why Edward was upset, he was horrified by my screaming. "Can you tell me what colour my eyes are right now, Bella?"

I was confused, but I checked for him, "honey," I said, "your eyes are the colour of honey."

He grinned at me, "That's just how I like them. I want you to help me now, Bella. We need to help Edward calm down now, ok?"

I nodded.

"That's right. You love Edward, you don't want him worrying. So you need to look him in the eye and tell him that everything is going to be ok."

I nodded again.

Jasper eased me from Edward's arms, stood me on the ground and held me while I looked into Edward's eyes and said, "everything is going to be ok, sweetheart."

Edward smiled then, Jasper must have helped to calm him down.

"Game on in ten, nine, eight, seven," Alice interrupted.

Once again, the Cullens gathered to face an enemy. Once again, they held me nestled in their midst.

Alice completed her countdown in a whisper, smirking as she muttered 'game on' and Jane walked into sight.

I recognised her from Italy, how could I forget the creature that had tortured Edward. What was she doing here now? Was she a part of this attack? Was the whole thing a ploy to kidnap Edward and Alice? I opened my mouth to scream again, but something froze me. I couldn't move.

"I see that there isn't much left for us to do," she said, with a nauseating faux-disappointment.

"We rather expected you sooner." Carlisle said.

Jane shrugged, "what is it you Americans say? Traffic was bad."

She didn't get a laugh.

"Talking of expectations, we rather expected to see a different Isabella by now."

I was still frozen in place, I wondered if some vampire was using their gift on me. I couldn't see any companions of Jane's, but that didn't mean that they weren't there, lurking in the shadows. I tried to make a sound, but it was impossible.

Then I felt Edward's hand tighten around mine. I squeezed back. So, I could use my fingers. I wasn't frozen by a supernatural gift, merely by a perfectly natural fear. Somehow that was far worse.

"We have a plan," Carlisle said, "to ensure that her disappearance raises as few questions as possible."

Jane frowned, "I am surprised that such a large coven, containing such experienced members, who have been living undiscovered amongst the humans for all this time, would have so much trouble in arranging a convenient accident for one teenage girl."

Edward growled quietly, but he was the only one, so I assume that Jane's thoughts were more objectionable than her words. "No trouble," he said firmly, "we have this under control."

"None the less, now that I'm here, I think I will stay and help you see it through. Aro is curious to hear of how Isabella's talent develops. I think I will like to take the story back to him."

"You are, of course, welcome to stay with us as long as you please," Carlisle said stiffly, "though, to help us maintain our cover, we must ask you not to hunt in the vicinity. Unless you would like to try hunting with us."

"I don't call what you do 'hunting', Carlisle."

"Of course."

"Don't look so cross. I will not mind taking a run before I feed, it will help me to work up an appetite."


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I own no rights to the 'Twilight' series and I make no claims by writing this tribute.

"Well?" Jane said, with her charming little girl smile, "aren't any of you going to offer to accompany me? Aro always says that you are such charming gentlemen."

I couldn't quite believe that Jane was smiling cheerfully about killing people and asking if anyone would care to keep her company, just as if she was taking a pleasant stroll somewhere.

There was a ripple of pointed looks amongst the Cullens as they tried to silently determine the best person to go. It was Edward, of course, who muttered, "Carlisle", having read the minds of everyone present he was best suited to voice some sort of consensus

Emmett shrugged, Jasper frowned and Esme gripped her husband's arm tightly. But Carlisle put on a smile that was almost as charming as Jane's and said, "well, of course, I would be delighted to escort you, so long as you understand that I won't be joining you."

Jane giggled, "no, probably not. Your restraint is well-known Carlisle. The rest of your coven – excuse me, you like to say 'family', do you not? - are not so famed, you know. Perhaps next time you will be allowed out to play with me, Major."

I was impressed that Jasper didn't flinch. Carlisle's eyes tightened a little, and he looked fixedly, determinedly polite. Edward winced slightly, and I wondered what Jane was thinking. But, I couldn't ask.

Then, taking Carlisle's arm, as if she thought they were going to the opera, Jane darted away into the woods.

For a few moments the rest of the family stood there looking stunned.

Then Alice screwed up her nose and said, "one hour forty-three minutes, I think, though it's a little blurry. Jane makes a lot of snap decisions, it's a little hard to be certain what she's going to do next. She might be distracted by something shiny."

"Thank you," Esme said softly, grateful to have some sort of time at which to hope for her husband's return.

"He will be fine, of course" Alice said "he knows what he's doing."

Esme nodded, but she didn't look quite convinced.

"We should take Bella home," said Jasper.

"Someone should stay with her," Edward said tersely, "Jasper?"

Jasper raised one eyebrow at his brother, presumably curious that Edward would suggest Jasper staying with me rather than himself.

Edward's nervous face flickered for a second, giving a glimpse of a smile, "please don't make me say it out loud," he said softly, referring to some private joke between them.

Jasper shrugged, "can't read minds, little brother. You'll have to say it."

"I'm worried and I want you with Bella because I know that I can't protect her from Jane," Edward spoke very fast, "and you might" he sighed slightly at 'might', "be able to do so. Happy?"

"Extraordinarily so" Jasper drawled; "it's good for you to admit these things." He smirked and Edward rolled his eyes. For a moment they were back to normal, teasing each other. But their faces quickly returned to the tense, tight expressions from before. Jane, it seemed, was a far more worrying threat to the Cullens than anything that Victoria had brought.

It was another quietly tense car journey. Jasper drove and Alice sat in the back with me. It reminded me of that first time that Edward had been afraid for me: when James had decided to hunt me. He had sent me with Alice and Jasper then, too. They seemed to be the pair that were considered most formidable. I suppose with Alice's gift and Jasper's experience, they were probably the most dangerous of all the Cullens, though they didn't look that way to human eyes. Alice was tiny and giggly, she seemed like a fairy, not a daemon. Humans were certainly more wary of Rose's volatility. And Jasper, with his slow speech and soft accent, certainly didn't look as scary as giant Emmett, nor even moody Edward. Appearances were not all that reliable when it came to judging vampires, however; Jane looked like a sweet little girl and she terrified all of my vampires.

Charlie was still out with Billy, so we needn't have rushed home after all.

As soon as we entered the house and she knew that we were alone, Alice picked up the phone. Jasper lounged casually on the sofa, watching me closely.

"What?" I asked.

He smirked, "do you know how you're feeling right now?"

I realised that I'd been pacing up and down the front room; a habit that I must have picked up from Edward, I never used to pace. Mind you, I never used to be surrounded by life-threatening killers, perhaps I would have paced before, had a vampire wanted me dead.

I stopped pacing and did a bit of a self-inventory. I wasn't in pain. I wasn't frightened, was I? I didn't feel frightened. Actually, I wasn't sure that I felt anything.

"No," I answered Jasper, "I don't know how I'm feeling. What are you doing?"

He shook his head, "nothing at all. I'm not affecting you. It's a purely innate defence mechanism. You've gone numb. You're protecting yourself."

Well, right now, numb was probably for the best. I didn't want to start screaming again.

"You should eat something," he said, "even if you're not hungry."

So I walked into the kitchen and Jasper trailed behind me.

"Are you going to eat something too?"

He wrinkled his nose, "no, thank you."

"I can make a sandwich without supervision." To prove my point, I found bread, chicken, mayonnaise and lettuce.

"I know that, obviously. But, I am rather fond of my arms, and Edward will tear them off if I let you out of my sight right now."

I laughed, spreading two slices of bread with butter, then laying the lettuce and chicken carefully on top. "Do you think that he could?"

"Right now? Fully fed and furious? Possibly. Let's not experiment."

"You always tell him that you're so much stronger and faster." I said, spreading mayonnaise on a couple of slices of bread.

"No, not that. I'm slower than he is, in fact. And not very much stronger at all. I keep my head, that's the real difference. When things get exciting, Edward gets excited and then he doesn't concentrate properly. He spends too much time in his opponents' heads, you know, and not enough in his own."

While Jasper was talking, I pressed my sandwiches together tightly and cut them into triangles.

"You should also have a drink," he said calmly.

I stared at my lunch and nodded, why hadn't I thought of that? I hadn't felt at all thirsty. I fetched juice from the fridge and poured myself a big glass.

Then I sat down to eat and Jasper leant against the door frame watching me.

"I think that we spend less time eating," he said. "It's strange really. We're the ones with all the time on our hands, and humans are the ones who have so many unavoidable calls on their time: sleeping, eating, tending to growing bodies."

"My meals only take a few minutes, an hour at most. You go hunting for days at a time."

"True, but we don't actually spend all that time hunting. We probably spend about as much time on a hunt as you do on a leisurely lunch, and we only have to do that every week or so. What will you do with all the extra time, Bella? Are you going to play the piano?"

"What do you do?"

"Read. Write. Think. Watch Alice."

"And Alice has her clothes. And Rose has her cars."

Jasper smiled, "Carlisle has his hospitals and Esme has her houses."

"What does Emmett do?"

"Wander around annoying the rest of us."

"I meant, seriously."

"So did I."

I laughed, "I've never really seen you all doing your own thing. You always seem to be together."

"I suppose we do. Usually, we are all together when you visit. But, there are hours and hours in which we all amuse ourselves. I don't know what Edward has implied, but we don't spend all night, every night, in our separate bedrooms, torturing him with images he'd rather not see."

"I suppose that's a relief."

Jasper chuckled again. "You always seem to see us rushing around and getting into trouble. But, most of our life together is very slow and uneventful."

"Do I cause a lot of chaos, then?"

He laughed loudly this time, "oh, yes, Bella. You have thrown a hurricane into the midst of the Cullen coven – I mean to say family. It's a good thing, though. You make Edward so unprecedentedly happy. He's never been like this, in all the time I've known him. He's never even had a moment of the joy that he feels all the time now that he's met you."

"That's horribly sad."

"Maybe. It doesn't seem that way to me. I think it was a blessing that he didn't know what he was missing, all this time. Had he known I don't think he would have coped half as well."

I smiled, and stood up, rinsing my dishes in the sink and leaving them on the side to drain. "I am glad that I make Edward happy. I think that's my favourite thing in the world to hear."

Jasper nodded. I suppose he felt the same about Alice. It must be nice to know for sure that you were making the one you loved happy, as Jasper knew with Alice.

"Why did Jane invite you to hunt with her next time?"

Jasper sighed, "Jane knows about us from Aro, who knows about us from Edward – inadvertently, of course. So, she sees us all from his perspective. And that means that she sees me as the weakest link, the one most likely to slip and kill a human. That's Edward's opinion." He paused and gave me a slight smile, "of course, he's probably right. If he wasn't, I would be watching over Jane right now and Edward would be here with you."

That made sense, but I felt a little bad for bringing it up. I could also see why Jane's comment had upset Edward more than Jasper. He felt incredibly guilty for revealing everything he knew and thought about his family to Aro.

"Carlisle doesn't think so," Jasper said suddenly.

"Doesn't think what?"

"That I'm the weakest link," he explained. "He doesn't distrust me or my control at all, even after seeing what I've done."

"Maybe he's right."

Jasper laughed, "you trust me too," he went on. "It's strange. I'm the only one of the family who's ever come close to hurting you, and you still trust me, just as completely as Carlisle does."

"Well, then, maybe we're both right."

Jasper laughed again, and followed me back into the living room.

"We don't have much choice," Jasper suddenly replied to something that Alice was muttering into the phone, reminding me that we weren't actually alone, and he must have been listening to both conversations all this time. "Flattering as your faith in me is, I don't think that I could stand up to her for long at all."

"Jasper!" Alice hissed, angry with him for some reason.

At exactly the same moment, I asked, "much choice about what?" But then the pieces fell into place. Jasper must have been saying that he couldn't ward of Jane, if she chose to attack me. So, he must be saying that the Cullens had no choice but to do what Jane wanted and what Jane wanted was . . . me changed into a vampire very soon indeed.

All the tense looks and the frowns made sense now. I was going to die very soon indeed and none of the Cullens knew how to stop it. All our great plans were going to fall apart. I wouldn't be able to plan this carefully to avoid hurting Charlie. He was going to lose his only daughter suddenly. We were going to have to arrange an accident, something that would leave Charlie and Renee traumatized and break the treaty with the wolves. I had to die.

As all of this crashed into me, like being punched in the stomach, I felt Jasper's arms wrap around me in a firm embrace.

"Whoa!" he said, as if he thought I was a horse about to bolt, "too much and too sudden, Bella."

Then I felt a thick, smothering blanket of calm wrap itself around me, even tighter than Jasper's arms. It was almost suffocating; too many warm fuzzy feelings forcing themselves on me all at once.

"Fine," Alice was saying soothingly into the phone, "she's frightened, but Jazz has it under control."

While Alice spoke, Jasper carefully lifted me over to the couch and laid me down.

"No, he's still out . . . Well, if that's what she wants . . ."

Alice hung up and turned to us, "well, that was a very short burst of calm. They're all coming over here to discuss the revised plan. It's not a good idea. You'll bounce everyone's fear all over the place. Edward won't like all the minds running so fast, trying to find some solution, and I'm going to be bombarded with hundreds of possible visions. We would probably be better off if we kept Edward away from you and I right now. But, Esme's agreed to come, and I can hardly argue with her. Edward seems to think that if we're all together we'll be able to come to a magic solution."

Jasper sighed, "I can't think of anything."


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: this is fanfiction, which means it is written by a fan of the Twilight series, not by anyone connected with the publishers or with the original author.

Alice was right, of course.

Jasper, Alice and Edward were bouncing off one another like a frenzied pinball machine. Edward was pacing up and down the centre of the floor, occasionally turning to reply to one of his family's thoughts. He didn't have many encouraging things to say, though, it was mainly some variation on 'that wouldn't work' or 'can you please think about the problem at hand?'

Alice and Jasper were sat back to back on the floor, leaning against one another. They both had their eyes closed. They looked like they were engaged in some kind of yoga meditation. I guessed that Alice was searching the future. I knew that Jasper was trying to project some calm into the room because I could feel it like a wave washing over me every now and again, then fading as he struggled to get a handle on all the volatile emotions in the room.

"Please, Alice, it's like strobe lighting in your head."

"Well, if someone would just stop changing their eternally damned mind all the time, maybe I would be able to see something. And what are you trying to do to us all, anyway, Jasper? Are you trying to cause a nervous breakdown?"

"No. I am trying to calm things down, and it isn't easier to do when you yell at me." He kept his eyes closed and spoke in a yoga-teacher's voice, with just a touch of irritation.

They resorted to silence for a little while longer. Jasper taking long, deep breaths, and gradually dialling up the calm feelings that he was projecting. Alice sitting absolutely still, with her eyes tightly closed. Edward pacing and occasionally pinching the bridge of his nose.

"There is absolutely no reason for you to throw all that anger around." Jasper said, glaring at the pacing Edward. "Nobody in this room is to blame for what's going on."

"Maybe this is your anger. Your not exactly making use of your little 'gift' right now."

"I am not angry." Jasper said, then he repeated it, making it almost a chant, shutting his eyes "I am not angry. I am not angry. I am calm."

"If you're so calm, why does Alice see you pushing me through the window?"

Jasper opened his eyes again. "Maybe because you're really, really annoying!"

"Edward, I don't see anything of the sort. Don't you dare play around like that, trying to use me in some petty fight with Jasper; maybe the next vision you see will be _me_ pushing you through a window!"

"All of you settle down," Esme said, and I couldn't believe how calmly she was still speaking. "Whatever we're going to do about this little change of plans, we're not going to be able to make any decisions before Carlisle returns. This is only meant to be a brainstorming session."

"Well, storm is about right," Rosalie muttered, "all three of you are losing control."

"I am in PERFECT CONTROL OF MYSELF!" Edward yelled at his sister, causing everyone else to turn to stare at him.

Emmett sat up straight, probably preparing to step in between his brother and his wife if necessary. But Rosalie just raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow and said "are you, indeed?"

Edward deflated suddenly, probably seeing his tantrum replayed by his family, and realising quite how he looked.

"I'm sorry, Rose, that was inexcusable."

Esme sighed. "Edward, do sit down. All this pacing is not calming you down. We will approach this rationally, and discuss it calmly without any more yelling."

Edward came and sat on the sofa next to me. I wriggled a bit and pulled his head down onto my lap so that I could stroke his hair, he'd found that soothing before.

"All right, then," Esme continued, still using her pacifically calm voice, she would have made a wonderful teacher. "Jasper, can you give us a sit rep?"

Jasper nodded once. "We had all agreed on principle – though with the understanding that Bella could change her mind at any point – on changing Bella at some point in the future. We had planned on doing this after graduation, so that her family would think that she was leaving for college and there would be as few unanswered questions as possible. However, Jane's presence changes this. She has stated that she intends to remain until Bella's change."

"Thank you, Jasper. So, what options do we have? Any ideas?"

"We could take Bella and run," Emmett said.

"Leaving Carlisle alone with Jane?" asked Rosalie.

"Even if we could all get away," said Jasper, "which is unlikely, Jane would just get a tracker, like Demetri, over here to find us. We wouldn't be missing for long, and we'd be in trouble once we were found."

"It's only Jane here right now," Rose said, "can we try to persuade or bribe her?"

"If you can think of anything we have that she wants, then I'm all ears," Jasper sighed, "the Volturii have more money and influence than we do. I don't think she would be impressed with a yacht and a box of diamonds."

"Alice?" Esme asked.

"I think that Jane expects us to change Bella soon, within a day or so. If we don't . . . I see flashes of her doing it herself . . ." she winced, "not always entirely successfully."

Edward tensed on my lap and I bent down to kiss him.

"Will it be so terrible, baby? I was going to become a vampire sooner or later. Why not sooner?"

"She wants to be here while Bella is changed because she wants to take news back to Aro," Edward said stiffly, "he believes that Bella will turn out to be gifted. He wants her."

"He can't have her," Emmett said.

"Jane is a high-ranking member of the Guard," Jasper added, "it would be unorthodox for her to kidnap a newborn vampire from its maker."

"You're talking as though we have no choice but to change Bella straight away," Rose said irritably. "I thought we all agreed after graduation. And I thought that nobody wanted to rush her into this. What happens if we don't change Bella?"

Alice closed her eyes, "it's fuzzy," she said, "I can't see futures that aren't going to happen. We all need to decide not to change Bella, then I might get a vision."

Nobody spoke.

"Jasper!" Edward hissed, "in all Alice's visions, you're changing Bella. Just stop it. Stop killing Bella!"

Jasper growled low, "I'm trying. But, I'm finding it difficult to decide to make a stupid move. I don't want to antagonise Jane. It wouldn't be wise."

There was silence for a bit longer. Then Alice hissed and Edward whistled through his teeth.

"Um . . ." Alice muttered quietly, as if she'd actually caused the vision rather than merely seen it. "It ended in a battle. It wasn't pretty."

Jasper turned around to face Alice. They sat on the floor face to face. Alice's eyes were glazed, but Jasper was staring intently at Alice's face. Then I felt all the false calm drop away from me as he focused his gift exclusively on his wife.

"It didn't happen," he said softly, holding her hands in his and looking into her eyes, trying to bring her back again, "and it won't happen. Whatever you saw, Alice, I won't let it happen, not really." I wondered what Alice had seen that had shocked her so much.

Remembering that Edward must have seen the same thing, I kissed him again. I bent down to kiss his forehead, but he arched his back and sucked me down into a hungry kiss on his lips.

"Might it be different if we just delayed, rather than challenging Jane?" Esme asked. "She hasn't set a deadline yet, she's only said that she'll stay until we change Bella."

I watched as all the Cullens concentrated, trying to force the right vision into Alice's head.

"She stays," Alice said baldly, "she stays here."

"Here?" Rose asked.

Alice nodded, "in Bella's house."

"No" Edward said, rather predictably.

"She doesn't kill her," Alice clarified.

"You can't factor in accidents," Edward said, "a fall in the shower, a slip of a vegetable knife, for God's sake, even a paper cut . . ."

There was a collective intake of breath and Edward hastily back-pedalled, "or a paper cut to which I over-react causing Bella to crash into a pile of plates . . . I wasn't actually thinking of that. I was just thinking of minor accidents that might easily occur. This isn't about us staying in control – and we all know that isn't always perfect – this is about Jane who has no real desire to remain in control."

"How would I explain her sudden appearance to Charlie?" I tried to imagine introducing my father to the tiny girl with the terrifying eyes. Maybe she would want to experiment with her gift on him as well. Maybe she would . . . I couldn't even bear to think of it. Charlie mustn't know about the vampires. I wanted his life to remain untouched. For a second, I could understand Edward's desire to protect me from this world. Then the second passed. I couldn't get out of it and I wouldn't want to. This was Edward's world and Edward was my world. I belonged with the vampires now.

"Charlie wouldn't ever have to see her," Rose said calmly, "avoiding human notice is easy. Charlie is the least of our worries."

"I don't think that's quite true," Jasper said. "We ought to have a plan, just in case we do need to change Bella in a hurry. We need to avoid suspicion, especially from Charlie. He already hates Edward."

"We're not going to discuss this with Bella right here" said Edward, snapping at his brother again, probably annoyed at being reminded of his failure to win Charlie over since the Italy disaster.

"Do be nice, baby. He's being practical. We need to plan my death, don't mind me."

"She's already jumped off a cliff once," Rose said, "what's to stop her doing it again? No body to recover then."

"Too painful for her family," Edward said, "that sounds like suicide."

"Car crash?" said Emmett, "followed by fire?"

Jasper nodded, "it ought to work, we could take a little blood and hair to provide DNA for identification purposes."

"But, we'd raise suspicions if we all vanished directly after Bella's death," said Rose, "we'd have to stay for months."

"Not all of us," Emmett said, "just enough of us to make it look right. Edward, of course, would have to attend memorial services, and Alice, and Rose. But, Jasper and I could go away somewhere, a quick road trip up to Alaska."

"Fine," Edward said acidly, "very nice back-up plan. Shall we get back to the real plan now?"

Esme turned to Alice, "how long have we got?"

Alice grimaced, "not a vision I wanted to see. Jane is – will be in five minutes – fully sated and they'll head back. It ought to be about twenty minutes. Um . . . I should warn you that Carlisle has a little bit of . . . um . . . a sort of stain on his shirt . . . but, it's all . . . well, he hasn't done anything that he wouldn't want to do . . . or anything . . . it just, sort of, happened."

Edward frowned at Alice, as if he thought that she ought to be sharing more details, but he didn't say anything, merely settled back down on my lap and nudged me with his head, just like a cat. He wanted me to get back to stroking him.

It was nice, sitting like this, with Edward's head in my lap, and his family sat around. I felt safe and – though I know it was a ridiculous feeling in the circumstances – safe. Victoria had been dealt with, there was no upcoming fight. All of the Cullens were safe. It felt like a pleasant time. The only one that could still get hurt was me, and being scared for yourself is not even half as horrible as being scared for someone you love.

I wondered how long they would be able to stay, how long I would have my Edward here with me, before Charlie came back and he had to leave.

Then my heart sank and my stomach tensed and I felt horribly sick.

I wasn't the only person who might be in danger from Jane's visit. What would happen if she ran into Charlie?

"I hate to add extra complications," I said quietly, "but I have a problem with Jane being around Charlie."

"Oh, Bella!" Esme gasped in real shock, "of course you do, dear. You're quite right. We should never have been so cavalier. He's your father and we must ensure his safety, of course."

They all looked unnecessarily apologetic. After all, he isn't their father.

Suddenly a grin crossed Alice's face, "go, on, Rose," she said, "say it."

Rosalie laughed, "well, thank you for not taking the words out of my mouth, Alice; it's nice for a girl to speak for herself. I have an idea, which might help in the short term. How about a school trip?"

Edward frowned, "why?"

"I'm not sure that we're looking for ways to entertain ourselves right now, babe" said Emmett gently.

"Idiots! We arrange a school trip, getting Alice, Edward and Bella a nice long way away from Forks for a while. Jane will go where we go, giving us space to work out what we're going to do with her. Maybe something better will occur to us later."

Esme smiled, "good idea, Rose."

Edward nodded, "alright, it buys us time."

I frowned, "how exactly do you 'arrange' a school trip?"

"Easy," said Jasper, "it's nearly time for exams, so we'd better make it a study retreat for promising students . . . I could even make it a university sponsored event – how about Dartmouth? Wasn't that on your list, Edward?"

"What list?"

Jasper sighed, "human memories, they're not what they used to be. Edward applied for places for you two at Dartmouth and I think – well, obviously, I know – that it's his preferred choice."

"And why would they arrange a 'study retreat'?"

Jasper gave me a very strange look. "Do you imagine that everything works out by sheer chance? Passing as humans for so many years, despite never ageing at all, is not the sort of thing that you just hope will work out. We are – at least we usually are, everything involving you seems to throw us into complete disarray – fairly well organised. If we couldn't arrange something as minor as a convenient school trip, I don't think that we'd have lasted this long without getting caught."

"So, what are you going to do? Is it going to be legal?" I said, remembering Alice's theft in Italy.

Jasper stood up, following my gaze to his wife and frowning slightly at her, as if he was trying to work out what she'd done to convince me that the Cullens were a family of outlaws. "Generally we break as few laws as possible. It's a point of personal pride. I'm not going to do anything much; I'll just make some phone calls."


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: it has been a little while since I updated, but the basics have not changed: I am not in any way affiliated with the writer or publishers of the Twilight series, this nonsense is my own tribute and toy.

It was surprising how easily Charlie accepted the sudden 'study trip'. Though, I suppose it shouldn't have been surprising things like that always seemed easy when the Cullens were around. It was other vampires they seemed to have trouble with, not humans.

Mind you, Jasper's 'phone calls' were very effective. The invitation came from Dartmouth, with a copy to me and one to the Forks High. It wasn't even as though the Cullens and I were the only people invited. Angela got an invite and so did Ben. But, Angela couldn't go because she had some piano recital already planned and Ben couldn't miss his track meet. It all worked out perfectly, but looked utterly unplanned. I began to see how the Cullens had managed to live among humans without raising suspicions.

Only two days after Rose had suggested it, I found myself in my room, packing a bag. I was also wondering why I was bothering with the packing at all. If I was going to be holed up with the Cullens for a few days, with no curious humans to see us, then I could be pretty sure that Alice was going to be in charge of my wardrobe.

Charlie hadn't actually seen Jane yet, at least not properly. I'd caught him last night staring out of the kitchen window with a half-suspicious, half-guilty look on his face. When I'd asked what he was looking at he'd jumped five inches off the kitchen floor. But, then he'd denied seeing anything. I suppose she must have let him catch just a tiny glimpse, enough to scare him, but not enough for him to be sure that he'd seen anything at all.

It sent shivers down my spine. I knew that she was nearby. She was always nearby. She listened to everything I said and watched every move I made. If she wanted to, she could kill me at any moment, easily. Nobody was sure – whatever Edward said – that the Cullens would actually be able to stop her.

I wasn't sure what scared me most. The thought of Jane killing me, or the thought of Edward trying to stop her. I had already seen what Jane could do to him. I knew that he couldn't stand up to her, and I really, really didn't want him to try.

But, he would try, of course. If he thought that she was going to hurt me, Edward would try to get in Jane's way, and he would fail, painfully.

I screwed up a pair of socks and shoved them into a tight corner of my bag, pushing down unnecessarily hard. Trying to shove down my own tremulous fears at the same time. Being scared wasn't going to help anyone.

As if he knew that I'd been thinking of him, Edward chose that moment to knock on the door. He, Alice and I were travelling to the 'study retreat' together. The rest of his siblings would be meeting us there.

I ran downstairs to let Edward in. Then followed him back to my room to fetch my bag. The curtains were drawn. I never opened them now, and I certainly never left the window open. It was enough knowing that Jane was out there, I didn't want to imagine her watching me sleep. Only one vampire was allowed to watch me sleep.

When he put out his hand to pick up the bag, I caught it and pulled it around my waist. It was our last chance for a bit of alone time, before we were surrounded by super-hearing vampires.

But Edward pulled away, frowning, "Bella," he said in a soft hiss, "we're not alone."

I looked around the room. Maybe I expected to see Jane skulking in a dark corner, or crouched under my desk.

Edward smiled slightly, "well, not actually in the same room, but she can hear and see us."

"See us? How?"

He cocked his head on one side and smirked at me, "did you think that we couldn't see you? Is that why your curtains are closed? Bella, they don't block much. It's easy for anyone looking up at your window to make out everything that's going on in here."

I blushed. If Jane could see through my curtains, then she could have watched me undressing, climbing into bed; she could have watched me doing even more embarrassing things, things that I thought I'd been doing in the privacy of my own room. I definitely didn't want to think about who else could have been watching me through my curtains. It was typical of Edward not to warn me that my curtains were essentially transparent, until he wasn't the only one in my garden at night.

"Sorry," Edward said, "I suppose that having me in your life has ruined it completely."

"Not exactly." I frowned and tried to think what I ought to be saying, "privacy is over-rated. Think of all those people who post their entire lives online, desperate to avoid any kind of privacy."

"Which is their choice to make."

"Yes, just like you're my choice, come on, let's get going. The sooner we're out of Forks the better." There wasn't really time to reassure Edward today. We had places to go and things to do. We had to leave Forks before Jane had an 'accident', or rather, before Jane was an accident.

He nodded and swung my bag up easily over his shoulder.

I ran down the stairs three at a time. Edward followed easily, whispering in my shoulder, "I've had very thick curtains fitted in our room at the cabin."

I wasn't sure if it was his cold breath or his hot words that sent a shiver down my spine.

Alice was driving today, I noticed. She'd brought Emmett's Jeep, and looked more like a pixie than ever, perched up behind the enormous wheel.

Edward held the door open whilst I got in. Then he walked around the back, stowing my bag neatly in the boot and sliding into the seat next to mine.

Alice pulled out of the drive fast, swinging the huge car around as if it were nothing at all. Her driving made me tense and reminded me of Edward's. I looked over at him in sympathy, "are you missing your driving privileges?"

He shook his head, "not today. I would far rather be here in the back with you." He cuddled me up beside him to emphasise his point.

We travelled in silence for a little while. At least, I was travelling in silence. From the looks that they were exchanging and the way in which Alice kept bouncing in her seat, I guessed that the vampires were having one of their silent conversations.

"That's very rude," I told them, "talking in your heads, like that."

Edward tensed slightly and sighed, "it is, my apologies, Bella. It's time we brought that particular discussion to a close."

"Or, we could resume the discussion aloud," Alice said chirpily. "I was just telling Edward that you would like to see what he's been working on, Bella. Wouldn't you like to see Edward's writing?"

"Writing?" I thought that Edward was the musical one; I didn't realise that he wrote as well. "Of course I'd like to see it. But, I'm not going to insist he shows it to me if he doesn't want to." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Really, Alice, you shouldn't use your gift to spy on people. I'd hate it if I thought that anyone was reading what I wrote in my journal."

"It's not a journal," Alice said. "This writing is intended for you; Edward's just being shy."

I smiled to myself. I couldn't really imagine Edward being shy. "You don't have to show me if you don't want to," I told him, "however much your sister torments you."

Edward scowled at Alice. "It isn't that I don't want to show you, more that I don't exactly think that this is the right time. While Jane is around, I don't think that the atmosphere is suitable."

Alice giggled, "you're running out of time, Edward. I simply don't see this working out the way you're hoping."

I considered that. "You don't see me returning from this trip alive?" I asked.

Alice scowled now. "I wish everyone would stop acting as though you becoming one of us was such a tragedy. I, for one, enjoy my life – and I do think that it's a life, whatever Edward may say – and I know that you're going to enjoy it too, Bella. There are sad things, of course, but there are sad things whenever we move on from one place to another. There's always someone or something to miss about the past. Before Bella, you" I was pretty sure that she was addressing Edward now, "used to say that you didn't care what we left behind because we took everything that was important with us. I don't know why you suddenly think that your family is such a terrible burden. What is it about us that means we're not good enough for you?"

"You're more than good enough," Edward replied softly, "you're far too good for me. I know that."

"But, we're not good enough for Bella?"

This time Edward didn't answer, he turned away and stared out of the window, watching the long roadside pass us by.

I didn't know what to say. I was wishing that I hadn't interrupted their silent conversation. This was obviously none of my business. Because Edward meant so much to me, because I didn't seem to have lived before he came into my life, I sometimes forgot that he had lived before we met. He had real and important relationships with his family. He had this incredible bond with Alice and now, now that I was around for them to argue about, I had caused cracks to appear between them.

Really, I agreed whole-heartedly with Alice. Once my change was over and done with, once it was a done deal, then all this agonising could stop. Edward and his family could go back to agreeing to disagree about the state of their souls and it would stop being such a horrible bone of contention. It hurt Alice so much to see Edward hating what he was – hating what she was – so intensely that he mourned the idea of me becoming that too. And Edward took no pleasure in hurting her, but he couldn't seem to shift his ideas. However much love he saw between his siblings, however much love he felt for them, Edward would always think of them as lesser beings, as damned. How could he pretend to want that for me?

Finally, Alice broke the silence. "He's been working on a script, Bella," she said. "I promise I haven't read it. I didn't want to! But, I know that he's finished it and he can't quite screw up enough courage to show you."

"Alice!" Edward yelled, so loud that the car windows shook.

But Alice wasn't even slightly intimidated, she giggled again. "Oh, settle down," she said, "you'll thank me later, I promise."


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated in any way to the publishers of the Twilight series. I'm just messing about.

The Cullens had rented a beautiful log cabin by the side of a lake, with woods right behind it. It looked like the sort of house that the three bears might have lived in, if the three bears had been obscenely rich: a solidly built house, with lots of wood and massive open fires in every room. Edward seemed amused by my gasps as he showed me around.

"Do you like it?" he asked, with a suspicious note of interest.

"Yes, but I don't want it."

Edward laughed. "I do know enough about you not to buy you a house on a whim. I was considering something a bit further in the future."

"Hmm."

"You would like it more if you helped to build it," he continued. "There's a sense of satisfaction in building a house with your own bare hands."

"You've built houses?"

He seemed surprised, as if I had asked whether he'd ever seen a tree, or crossed a street. "Well, yes," he said, "a few."

"Did you build this one?"

Edward laughed again.

"No," he said, "I didn't build this. Do you really think that this is my style?"

"I've never imagined you building a house at all. So, actually I've never given any thought to the kinds of houses that you would build."

Edward grimaced then. I wondered if I'd annoyed or disappointed him, but he slid over next to me and whispered "Jane's decided to come inside." So, I guessed that was the real reason for his expression.

"Maybe we should go outside, then"

He smiled and wrapped his arm around me. "You don't want to leave Alice alone with her any more than I do. Come on, love; I don't think that she's planning on staying long. She wants to go and . . . well, she finds the house a bit claustrophobic."

He was right, of course. There was no way that I would leave Alice alone with Jane, not even for a couple of minutes. We found them both in the main lounge. Neither of them seemed to be entirely comfortable.

Alice frowned a little when she saw Edward and me enter, but Jane smirked.

"I don't know what you were hoping to achieve by coming out here," she said, "did you think that I wouldn't be able to follow?"

"Of course not," Edward replied, "I didn't think it would be much more than a pleasant stroll for you. Was it very remiss of me not to offer you a lift?"

"In one of those tin cans you like to travel about in?" Jane shivered dramatically, "I think not. That would sound more like a threat than a friendly invitation. Especially with that . . . mouthwatering scent surrounding me all the time." She took a hissing breath in through her teeth, "I don't know how you can stand so close and not be . . ." she licked her lips, "tempted."

Edward tensed next to me.

Jane noticed and her smirk widened, so that I could see a thin line of sparkling white teeth between her lips. "Yes," she said letting the 's' turn into a soft hiss, "tempting. Even you sense that, don't you, Edward? You look like Carlisle's good little puppet, letting him tug your strings however he pleases. But, deep down inside, there must be a part of you that would like to be a real boy. Why don't you try, Edward? Nobody would know."

"If you find the air in here to be too close, please do take a turn outside. I assure you that nobody would be in the least bit offended." Edward spoke stiffly.

Jane giggled, "actually, I was heading out, pretty boy, as I'm sure you already know. I need to get something to," she fixed me with a feline stare, "eat. Unless, you're willing to share your own dinner?"

Edward pulled me closer and glared at her.

"Oh, don't get so angry, it makes you look more like a marionette than ever."

"Oh, shut up!" I shouted, I was getting fed up with this little girl hissing and teasing Edward. She was being unpleasant for the sake of it. "We know what you're going to do. You know what we think about it and you know that we can't do anything to stop you. Just leave and stop rubbing everyone's face in it. I suppose that you need to survive, like any other creature," I relished that word, and said it as harshly and cruelly as she had said 'marionette'. "But you don't have to be so horrible about it, that's just rude."

"That wasn't very polite, Isabella." Jane said sweetly.

She glared at me again, just like I remembered her doing in Volterra. But, that was alright, she couldn't hurt me, and we both knew it. For a moment, this was just like Volterra: Jane glared at me hard, frowning in concentration, and nothing happened. Her gift couldn't effect me, there was nothing at all. Absolutely nothing.

Until suddenly, something did happen.

Edward's arm tightened around my waist. Then he doubled over.

Of course, Jane knew that her gift didn't work on me, so she didn't use it on me. She used it on Edward; she may not have any human feelings left herself, but she obviously remembered enough about empathy to know that she could hurt me by hurting Edward.

"I'm sorry," I said hastily, "I shouldn't have been rude."

"No," Jane replied, "you shouldn't. Unfortunately for the manikin, I don't think that you're quite sorry enough yet."

Edward jerked his arm away from me, probably afraid that he might squeeze me too hard. I tried to look at him, but his eyes and mouth were pressed tightly closed.

Alice rushed to his side. She was less fragile than me. I couldn't hold Edward now, but Alice could.

"Please," I begged Jane, "please leave him alone. I am sorry. And I promise that I will never be rude to you again."

She could see Edward buckling with pain. She must have been able to hear the desperation in my voice. But Jane just smiled.

"Please! I'll do anything you want!"

"Oh, I know that," Jane said, "I just don't want you to forget it."

She didn't move, but I think that she must have increased her gift, because Edward fell to the ground and began to shake.


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: is this still necessary? I didn't write the 'Twilight' books, but I wrote this.

How long did it go on for?

I don't know. It felt like we were frozen in one horrible moment for hours. Jane smiling at Edward convulsing on the floor and Alice and I unable to move or speak. I wanted so much to make her stop, but there was nothing I could do. I was utterly impotent.

It seemed as though we were completely at Jane's mercy; we were just going to have to wait for her to decide to stop of her own accord.

But I was wrong about that too.

I heard the door slam open, smacking hard into the wall. And at exactly the same time I saw Jasper appear with his arms around Jane's tiny waist and his teeth at her tiny neck.

He wrapped his arms tight around her in a passionate embrace, I'm pretty sure that his fingers were carressing her hips. His lips were parted to show his shimmering white teeth, which just touched Jane's skin, hovering a millimetre or so from absolute penetration.

I had never seen Jasper looking so good. His hair framed his perfect face, giving a softening edge to his hard features. His lips were curled into a sensual smile and his eyes sparkled.

Even though I knew the danger Jane was in, with Jasper's teeth so very close to her naked flesh, it was a danger that I envied. I wished Jasper wanted to sink into me instead.

Then he spoke, in a soft, dusty voice, like one who had been to many places and seen many things, and now was here, to see us, to see her.

"Let the boy alone," Jasper said, "he's far too young for you."

Jane's sly smirk melted into a simper. "You could get into big trouble threatening a member of the Volturii guard like this, Major."

"Oh, this isn't a threat," Jasper's tongue darted out and tasted Jane's skin, "this is advice, very friendly advice. I happen to be fond of the boy; and I thought that might mean something to you. Don't you want to make me happy?"

Jane sighed, she pushed her hips back, pressing against Jasper's thighs, and she tipped her head back, exposing more of her soft white neck.

Jasper shifted in response and whispered, "am I too close? Am I making you uncomfortable?" He lowered his head slightly, so that he was almost humming the words into her skin.

Jane's next breath came in a shudder, "I think that you're making me very comfortable indeed, Major," she said.

"You'll leave the boy?" Jasper asked, stroking his index finger slowly up her side, up her neck and across her parted, eager lips. "You could have more fun playing with me, lots more fun."

Suddenly, Jane leapt away, as if Jasper had given her an electric shock. "I have to hunt," she said, "right now." She ran from the room, though she wasn't running very fast for a vampire, and there was a slight stagger to her gait, as if she were drunk.

Jasper didn't seem at all surprised by her reaction, he straightened up and grinned. "Pleased to see me?"

Alice leapt into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and burying her head in his neck. If there'd been a little more room, I think that I would have liked to join her.

"Rather," said Edward, "but, could you tone it down a little now, Jasper, love?"

Jasper shrugged.

Then I realised that I'd been staring so intently at Jasper, I hadn't noticed what Edward was doing. I turned to look at him now. He was sat up on the floor, not shaking anymore, but systematically flexing his joints one by one, as if he wanted to check they were all still functional.

There was a strange moment, when I could feel my desire for Jasper melting away and I was able to tell that I'd been infatuated with him but I wasn't quite sure why.

"What was that?"

Edward smiled at me, "that would be Jasper using one of his more . . . unusual weapons."

"You would have preferred me to remove her arms?" Jasper asked.

"Well, no. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. It was a strange experience for Bella, that's all."

Jasper shrugged, "'strange'" he repeated, strolling over to Edward's side, "aren't you used to feeling attracted to me Bella?"

Before I could speak, I noticed that Jasper was beginning to look smouldering again.

Alice swatted him on the arm, "stop messing about," she scolded.

"Where are Rose and Emmett?" Edward asked, he'd reached his hands now, and was carefully checking each finger.

"Parking," Jasper replied. He'd knelt down in front of Edward, and was looking him over. He held Edward's face still and stared into his eyes. Edward pulled a face; I don't think that he liked Jasper fussing over him.

"Jane will be gone for hours," Alice said, "she'll have to go quite far to find anyone and then . . . well, it will all take her some time."

"So, this would be our best chance to strategise," said Jasper. He stuck two fingers in his mouth and let out a piercing whistle, "Rose, Emmett! Time's up."

"What did you do to antagonise her, anyway?" Jasper put out his hand to help Edward up.

Edward frowned, and got up by himself, "it's hardly reasonable of you to assume that this is my fault. Maybe she just doesn't like me."

"Jane's a highly respected member of the Volturi guard, not a petulant teenager. What did you do?"

"He didn't do anything," I interrupted, "I annoyed her and she took it out on Edward because her gift doesn't work on me."

Rosalie and Emmett walked into the room and flopped down on one of the big couches.

"I think," Jasper said, "that it's time we stopped trying to fool ourselves. We can't have Jane here, so near where we live. It's going to get messy and unpleasant. She's not leaving until we change Bella, so . . ." he trailed off, the end of that sentence didn't need to be said out loud.

"We all agreed to give Bella time," Edward protested, "we all agreed that she shouldn't make a commitment like this because she's afraid."

"We don't have any more time," I said, "Edward, I made this decision some time ago. We should just get on with it. Who's going to change me?"

I wasn't surprised that only one vampire answered. I knew that they must have discussed this aspect of my change amongst themselves. By now, I knew that they would have reached an agreement. I was, however, slightly surprised by which voice it was. It wasn't the Cullen that I'd expected, who said "Me."


	32. Chapter 32

"Me," said Jasper simply.

I stared at him. Had he forgotten almost killing me on my birthday? Did he think that I'd forgotten? I thought that he was worried about spending time in close contact with me, now he was offering to bite me. For the first time, I found myself wondering if I was actually going to survive the change. Maybe Jasper would start drinking and be unable to stop. Maybe he would drain me dry.

Would any of the other Cullens be able to stop him? Jasper had stopped Jane in her tracks: Jane, who made my Edward a quivering wreck without smudging her lipstick! Jasper could make her legs go weak.

If he was drinking from me, what could stop him? I'd seen the feral look in Edward's eyes on that hunting video. I knew that vampires were at their least human when feeding. What would Jasper be like if he was feeding on me? The first human blood he'd tasted in goodness knows how long. Surely he wouldn't allow anyone to tear him off me.

And, what would Edward do? He would try as hard as he possibly could but . . . he wasn't the strongest or the fastest vampire in the world. He didn't have Jasper's fighting experience, I knew that. If Emmett could rip off one of his arms, what could Jasper do to him? My death could be the least of his worries. If he actually tried to fight Jasper, Edward could get himself destroyed!

Jasper rolled his eyes at me, "thank you for that shot of distrust and fear, Bella, that's just great."

I looked over to Edward for support, surely he understood.

"Are you having second thoughts, love?"

"No, not at all!" I said quickly. It had taken so long to get Edward to come around to this idea, I didn't want him to suspect me of a second's hesitation now that we were here. "I just . . ." I had no idea how to explain what I was thinking. I could hardly stand there in front of Jasper and ask if there was much of a risk that he might start killing off his family members.

More from boredom than any desire to ease the tension, Rosalie came over to Edward and took his hand. "Let me look you over," she said.

Edward frowned, "I'm fine."

"He's fine," Jasper echoed.

"Oh, yes? And precisely how many medical degrees do you hold, Jasper?"

"I've seen this sort of thing before."

Rosalie ignored him. She began to examine Edward. It was similar to the kind of exam that I've had many times following one of my more dramatic falls, but not exactly the same. Edward had no pulse for Rosalie to take and he didn't need to breath at all, so she wasn't concerned with that either. She did seem concerned with his mind, his eyes and his hands, though.

She asked him rather obscure questions. "Name the last four presidents of Russia."

"Dmitry Medvedev, Vladmir Putin, Boris Yeltsin, Mikhail Gorbachev" Edward barked.

Rosalie frowned, "Gorbachev was never president of Russia."

"Fine, but you asked for the last four. Gorbachev was President of the Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic; which amounts to the same thing. Happy?"

"What's the square root of 323,761?"

"569" he snapped at her almost before she'd finished asking the question.

"What was Bella wearing yesterday?"

"Powder blue boot leg jeans, a corn silk polo neck sweater and white sneakers with a blue trim – the same sneakers she's wearing today – and Marc Jacobs Daisy."

Even I didn't remember my outfits in that much detail. But Rosalie apparently did, because she nodded in satisfaction.

"Alright, close your eyes and give me your hand."

Edward rolled his eyes first, but he did then close them.

He held out his left hand, casually, slightly too fast because he was irritated by Rosalie's checks.

I was glad that she'd told him to close his eyes. I wouldn't have wanted him to see my reaction, because even I could see that Edward's hand was trembling.

He must have seen it in the mind of one or more of his siblings, though, because Edward's eye's snapped open.

Rosalie took his shaking hand in hers and held it steady. Then she put it gently back by Edward's side.

"What did you expect?" she asked, "that you would be completely unaffected? There's no point carrying on now. I'll check on you again in an hour and we'll see how you're doing."

"Ok," he sounded a lot less irritated now.

"You will be fine," Rosalie said, losing her stern face, "promise." She leant forward and brushed her fingers through Edward's hair in a maternal gesture.

The touch seemed to relax him. He turned back to me, "I can't read your mind, you know. What are you so unsure about?"

"She's afraid that I won't stop in time" Jasper explained dryly. "I know that I'm not exactly the best in my family at control, Bella, and I do understand why you might have difficulty trusting me. But, I have changed hundreds of humans, and I've lost remarkably few of them during the change."

He smirked at the look of terror on my face.

Alice tutted, "don't be silly. Jazz knows what he's doing. It makes sense for it to be him."

"But . . . Carlisle . . ."

"Has changed a grand total of three humans into vampires," Edward said firmly, "Jazz is the family expert."

"Oh, I'd sort of imagined that you might . . ."

Edward shook his head, "it is possible to get this wrong," he reminded me, "and I don't think that we should take that risk. I don't know if I would succeed, but I know that Jasper can."

"You can keep all your clothes on," Jasper said, clearly enjoying this all very much, "you don't even have to lie on a bed if you don't want to. It doesn't have to be exactly like the films."

I had a flashback of Jasper standing behind Jane: his strong arms wrapped tightly around her; his body pressed hard against hers; his sharp teeth right by her neck, poised to penetrate. It was almost as though I could feel his thighs hard behind mine, his chest solid behind my back, his breath, cool and sharp on my throat.

If any gorgeous vampire was going to sink his teeth into my flesh, I had thought it might be Edward, not his brother.

"It would be very clean and impersonal," Jasper went on, "I only need to hold you like so," he put out one hand and reeled Alice over to stand in front of him, "then it's just one little nip, just here." He turned his head, licked his teeth and kissed Alice slowly and deliberately right on the side of her neck. Alice shivered. "Easy as that," Jasper concluded, flashing his incisors at me.

"Or," he went on, "if you would be more comfortable sitting down . . ."

There was a big squashy sofa in the middle of the room, covered with a cream material decorated with out-sized red flower heads. Alice sat down and Jasper knelt next to her, leaning across, pressing himself to her chest, front to front, melding their bodies together. His hair dusted her exposed collar bones. He hovered for a moment, with his face just inches from hers, then he kissed her neck again.

"Really, Jasper, even I think that there are some things that should be saved for the privacy of your own bedroom," Rosalie scolded.

Jasper pulled himself away from his wife and willing display model and grinned at me.

"I was demonstrating," he said, "would you like me to continue, Bella?"

"No," said Edward firmly. "Despite that absurd display, there is nothing all that intimate about changing someone. You have nothing to worry about, Bella."

"Of course not," Jasper joined in, still grinning, "are you ready now?"

"Not right now," Alice told him, "Rose is right. There are some things that require privacy and before we actually change Bella, Edward has got to show her the script."

"What script?"

Edward glared at his sister. "It's nothing," he said.

"It must be something," Rose said, "to make you blush like that, it must be something good."

"Something interesting," Emmett said.

"Something juicy," Jasper added.

"Something private," Alice said firmly. "Good luck Edward."

Now, normally Edward is desperate for any excuse to escape his teasing siblings and spend a little bit of time alone with me. So it was rather surprising when, instead of dragging me a little too fast from the room, he stood still and transferred his scowl from his sister to the floor. "Jane could be back any moment," Edward said, shiftily, "we probably shouldn't split up."

"Quite right," Jasper said, "you should stay here and go over some more options. For example, you might like to lie down, like so . . ."

Alice was annoyingly happy to comply with Jasper's directions.

"Oh, fine," Edward said irritably, "we'll retire before this gets any more obscene." He stomped out of the room muttering "I don't blush . . ."

I ran after him, taking his arm and trying to soothe him. Poor Edward did hate being teased. "I am slightly concerned," I said, "what kind of vampire films exactly has Jasper been watching?"


End file.
